The Art Of Charm | High Performance Techniques| Cognitive Development | Relationship Advice | Mastery Of Human Dynamics

Rob Norman (@robthenorman), co-host of The Backline podcast and author of Improvising Now, explains how we can use techniques from improvisational theater to conquer everyday life challenges. The Cheat Sheet: Improvisational theater skills go far beyond just helping us think quickly on our feet. In improv, as in all spontaneous life experiences, failure is a possible outcome. Sharpening improv skills gets us not only to overcome our fear of failure, but to learn from it. Learn how the "yes...and" exercise fosters positive interaction, teamwork, and better ideas not only with improv scene partners, but with people in our business and personal lives. Use the Last Line Response exercise in conversation as a powerful way to show that you're paying attention -- and elicit attention in return. No matter how experienced you are at something, confidence is an illusion. It's knowing how to respond when something goes wrong without spoiling that illusion that makes the difference. And so much more... Show notes at h

Cal Newport revisits the show to talk about deep work and how focus can make you not only more productive and effective, but happier and more neurologically healthy. The Cheat Sheet: What's the difference between shallow work and deep work? Why is engaging in deep work so important not only to personal satisfaction, but to your very survival in a ruthless marketplace? Learn how to schedule deep work into your own life. Discover what you can eliminate from your life to make deep work more natural. What the heck does orthogonal mean? And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/cal-newport-deep-work-episode-515/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the second episode of Minisode Monday! We keep finding so so many useful tactics and tips that we want to share with you, but they don't fit into the format of a regular show -- hence, Minisode Monday. The Cheat Sheet: How can you start reading people quickly? When observing someone, try to remember more than appearance-based traits. Noticing more than superficial features hones your judgment and makes you more observant in a deeper way. Pay attention to how your favorite writers describe characters -- the good ones will tell you more than what's just on the surface. Challenge: For the next week, put these observations in practice as you interact with people. You'll be surprised at how naturally your radar starts to pick up clues about what makes them tick. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartof

Time for Fan Mail Fridays, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. In this episode: Is there a polite way to snap your friend out of a need for attention from the opposite sex and get them to see they're awesome as they are? Why is it sometimes so hard to stay away from people we clearly know are wrong for us -- like the narcissists Kim Seltzer has discussed on the show before? A relationship seems to be going well until the other party backs out when you set boundaries. Are we supposed to constantly put ourselves out there no matter how many times we get rejected? What are the chances of having a successful relationship with someone who is much older than you? How can you get your otherwise perfect partner to be more vocal in the bedroom? We get some good feedback for advice given regarding how to disclose a history of breast cancer and reconstruction to a new romantic interest in FMF 61. What kind of memories do you hold on to

Sam Harris (@samharrisorg) is a neuroscientist, author, and philosopher; he's also a staunch critic of religion (while being an advocate of mindfulness) who joins the show to discuss some views that -- fair warning -- many may find controversial. The Cheat Sheet: When does stubbornness stop being a virtue and become a confession of intellectual dishonesty? What makes Sam Harris the Anti-Trump? Why do so many people subscribe to the package beliefs of their political parties or religions even when clearly proven scientific facts prove contradictory to these beliefs? If Sam Harris considers himself primarily a philosopher, how did he wind up with a PhD in neuroscience? Why do we lie -- even when we know how destructive it can be? And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/sam-harris-anti-trump-episode-514/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the cred

Dr. Anders Ericsson (@PeakTheBook) is the expert in finding out what it takes to become an expert. Here, he discusses Peak: Secrets from the New Science of Expertise, his new book co-authored with Robert Pool. The Cheat Sheet: Innate talent is a myth. How can we become amazing at any skill? Learn how to set up a deliberate practice regimen to become more effective at anything you do. Understand why "try differently" is a better solution than "try harder." Contrary to what was once believed, the brain can be rewired to excel toward a specific goal at any age with the proper training. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/dr-anders-ericsson-science-expertise-episode-513/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more

Welcome to the first episode of Minisode Monday! We keep finding so so many useful tactics and tips that we want to share with you, but they don't fit into the format of a regular show -- hence, Minisode Monday. But don't worry! We'll still present the regular number of full-sized episodes every week, but the schedule will look more like this: Monday -- Minisode Monday Tuesday -- Full-sized episode #1 Wednesday -- Break Thursday -- Full-sized episode #2 Friday -- Fan Mail Friday It's good news; you're getting more in the rotation, and we get to impart something that's maybe five or 10 minutes long -- at most -- that you can apply today. Please let us know what you think in the comments below, at Twitter, or email jordan@theartofcharm.com! The Cheat Sheet: We learn manners via parents and society. So when we travel to the other side of the world, what we consider polite may not fly -- and vice versa. Consider the non-verbal cues you get from others when you breach these manners and how this makes you feel.

Time for Fan Mail Fridays, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. In this episode: If men are the gas and women are the brakes (per guest Emily Nagoski in The Art of Charm podcast episode 414), how does this apply in a marriage that fizzles out in the sex department? Are you a better teacher than a performer of a certain skill? What does it say about you when your students constantly surpass your level of expertise? A veteran weighs in to help a fellow brother-in-arms readjust to civilian work life as addressed in Fan Mail Friday #61. [For further reference, here's a link to the Treble Victor Group for ex-servicemen and women who find themselves in the same boat.] Sure, it's a red flag when the father of your significant other calls out of the blue to impugn their character -- but is this really a warning about your partner or just the sanity of a potential future in-law? The only kind of cockblocker you want in your life is th

Linda Carroll (@Lovecycleslinda), therapist and author of Love Cycles: The Five Essential Stages of Lasting Love, revisits the show to discuss how we can maintain strong romantic relationships for years beyond the initial hormones of early love. The Cheat Sheet: Like seasons, tides, and other natural processes, love goes through very distinct, predictable cycles through which we can weather and thrive over the long term with preparation. Romance is based on science, not superstition. Why does falling in love make us crazy? Because we're experiencing the Merge -- the first of these love cycles -- governed by body chemistry (hormones) that intoxicates us to operate outside our "normal" parameters of behavior. The bad news: the Merge -- so named because it elates us with a feeling of unity with another person where our boundaries are merged together -- is temporary. The chemicals wear off. The good news: we can rekindle the chemistry of the Merge with our current partner if we overcome the cycles of Doubt and D

Dr. Melanie Watkins (@MWatkinsMD) is a psychiatrist who emphasizes the importance of making mental health a priority by minimizing the mystery -- and sometimes the misery -- of mental illness and addiction treatment. The Cheat Sheet: Maintaining mental health is as serious as maintaining physical health -- and there should be no shame in seeking help for either. What signs commonly signal a need to seek help from a mental health professional? Central nervous system depressants abused as an alternative to mental health maintenance usually exacerbate the symptoms of an illness rather than relieving them. What can we do to destigmatize the very act of seeking help from a mental health professional? What are the first steps we can take toward getting mental health treatment? And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/dr-melanie-watkins-mental-health-first-episode-511/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what he

Time for Fan Mail Fridays, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. In this episode: How do you deal with success anxiety when you find yourself deviating from an ambitious schedule? A disappointed Christian listener begs to differ with some advice Jordan gave to a curious virgin in Fan Mail Friday #60. Your boss keeps hounding you to take a managerial job you don't really want. The kicker: you're a woman, and you get the impression he doesn't want to hike your wages to match what a male in a similar role at your company makes. What's your next move? As an outsider, how do you know when to engage your significant other's family when they start having a drunken domestic incident? Can you ever fit in with your coworkers when most of them enjoy gossiping and office games while at work, and you're more of the type who prefers to work hard and leave the office when you're done? If you're a woman who's undergone a double mastectomy, ho

AmyK Hutchens (@AmyKHutchens), author of The SecretsLeaders Keep: Insightful Stories And Provocative Questions ThatUnlock The Hidden Secrets To Winning Big In Business And Lifetells us how we can think more critically, solve our problems morequickly, build momentum, be more productive, and be more profitablefaster.The Cheat Sheet:No matter how accomplished you think you are,developing critical thinking skills and learning to see the worldwith a fresh perspective will help you adapt to whatever newproblems and changes lay ahead.Inviting participants to create question-based agendasmake professional meetings worth having (instead of wastingeveryone's time).Learn how to spark engagement and garner buy-in fromothers for meaningful interactions.What are the two most common fears leadershave?Ask yourself these two questions that will shift yourperspective every single time you have to make adecision.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/amyk-hutchens-secrets-leaders-keep-episode

Dr. Duana Welch (@duanawelch), author of Love Factually: 10Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do, rejoins us to discuss theevolution of love.The Cheat Sheet:What are some of the core differences between men andwomen?Learn how men and women have shaped each otherpsychologically and biologically over the course of humanevolution.What do women and men lie about?Why do men tend to be more ambitious thanwomen?How does jealousy differ between women andmen?And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/duana-welch-evolution-love-episode-509/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and writeus a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd andhelp people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it!http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Fridays, where we'll be answering yourquestions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kickthe weekend off right.In this episode:Your overall confidence is low and your desperationrises as you seek a new job in a new town with no luck yet -- andany hope of dating seems to be following the same pattern. What doyou do?You're in your twenties and it's the first long-termrelationship for both of you. Hesitation over a proposal leads to abreakup, though you stay in touch and hope remains that thingsmight still work out between you. Is it okay if you don't haveeverything figured out yet?How do you show your older siblings you've come a longway since you were the "dumb" kid in the family?You got drunk to counter the anxiety you feel in socialsituations and said some things to your friends for which you maynever be forgiven. How do you approach them to express regret andtry to make things right (while cutting back on the drinking sothis doesn't become a common occurance)?Are women more

Dan Millman (@pwdan) revisits the show to talk about his newlyupdated book The Four Purposes of Life: Finding Meaning andDirection in a Changing World.The Cheat Sheet:Earth/life is a school and daily life is yourclassroom.Career and calling are two different things (and don'tnecessarily need to be merged).Learn why we're here to fulfill four fundamentalpurposes in life -- and what they are).Find direction in life when faced with seeminglydifficult challenges.Clarify your hidden calling with Dan's Life PurposeCalculator.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/dan-millman-four-purposes-life-episode-508/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and writeus a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd andhelp people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it!http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kimberly Seltzer (@SeltzerKimberly) returns to the show to share her formula for creating and maintaining a confident body image based on the body we have over the body we might wish we had. This pertains to women and men, so there should be something here for everyone!The Cheat Sheet:What is the definition of confidence, and why are some of us more confident than others?Why is it that so many of us don't love our bodies?Pinpoint your current body type and the options it gives you.Discover the clothes that flatter your figure and enhance your confidence versus ones that deplete it.Kimberly shares exercises for shedding old thought processes about body image and confidence and replacing them with newer, healthier ones.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/kimberly-seltzer-body-image-confidence-episode-507/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the cred

Time for Fan Mail Fridays, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right.In this episode:If you're going through the trouble of enduring so-called "networking events," should you suffer the fools you meet there gladly in hopes their business sense outweighs their social sense?Is pursuing a career on Wall Street a no-brainer? Come on! All your friends are doing it...When you're experiencing a new career and the benefit of discretionary income for the first time in your life, how do you handle the divide it's causing between you and your longtime -- but less fortunate -- friends?Is recreational drug use as a college student a no-brainer? Come on! All your friends are doing it...Two-time (but not two-timing) AoC guest Duana Welch weighs in on why science tells us men are more emotional than women.How can people in a long-distance relationship build trust that overrides concern the other party might cheat?Why is playing Devil's Advocate a b

Neil Pasricha (@1000Awesome), author of The Happiness Equation, shares counterintuitive and practical happiness hacks to help us elevate ourselves into greater positivity and productivity every day using real action-oriented models and frameworks to think about how we do the things we do. The Cheat Sheet: The happiness model we're taught from a young age is backwards -- we should lead with happiness instead of regarding it as some kind of end-game reward for enduring the burdens of life. Happiness is a learnable, teachable skill -- there are specific exercises you can do in just 20 minutes a day to train your brain to be happy. Keep just three simple goals in mind to ensure happiness. No matter what your pessimistic and optimistic friends tell you, the glass isn't half-empty or half-full -- it's refillable. Don't let comparison kill your joy -- you'll never be number one out of seven billion in the world at anything. Let that be a relief to you! And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/po

Karen Baetzel (@BattleAxe57) started BattleAxe Consulting to sharpen leaders -- for work and for life -- through experiential and multi-channel training using military aviation principles. She insists they have fun doing it, too!The Cheat Sheet:Learn about military aviation culture and what helpful tips it can teach us about attention and respect. Understand the crucial difference between procedure and technique.Why are precision language habits necessary?If you aren't doing your leadership "dirty work," then who is?Find out what this self-described "battleaxe" wishes civilians knew about leadership and service.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/karen-baetzel-battleaxe-consulting-episode-505/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Ch

Time for Fan Mail Fridays, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right.In this episode:How do you meet new people for platonic relationships while making it clear that you're not available for anything romantic or sexual (while avoiding coming across as presumptuous)?How can you overcome your own self-limitations to start living life for yourself instead of catering to the whims and validation of others?You're a divorced parent of two in your forties and stuck in suburbia for custody reasons until the kids go to college. What dating prospects can you expect?You've placed your own college education on hold under the condition you'd return once your spouse graduated. Four days after they got their degree, you separated. Now what?For the sake of your own relationship's balance, how do you encourage your significant other to develop outside friendships?We spend a lot of time worrying about what other people think about us. But what do you