The Joy Junkie Show

NEW *FREE* WORKSHOP ~>   You know *that thing* when you get totally caught off guard by a request and don’t know how to say “No”, so you say, “Um, yeah, sure. Totally”? Or how ‘bout this one: You know you need to address something with your bestie by you keep thinking, “Am I overreacting? Am I being dramatic? I feel like I should say something, but I’m so nervous!” Or maybe your boss walks into your office and asks for another report to be completed and instead of saying “I don’t think I can add one more thing to my plate”, you just verbally list out a litany of things that you have to accomplish, hoping that she’ll magically get your drift. Real talk. No one teaches us how to articulate our thoughts, feelings, needs, and opinions in an effective manner. We stumble around thinking we can’t ever let anyone down and god forbid we actually say “No”! So we learn to “sweep things under the rug” and tell ourselves that it’s not that serious until we erupt like a god-damned volcano. If you’re sick of this rat race,

NEW *FREE* WORKSHOP ~>   You’ve been in the same industry for 20 years and you’re dying to make a change but you’re scared shitless to throw in the towel. Wouldn’t that mean you wasted two decades? You’re not totally sure you’re getting your Master’s because it’s what YOU really want or if it’s because that’s what mom wants… or because it’s what a younger version of you wanted. Shit. What if you just don’t want that path any longer? Finish what you started? That’s what they say, right? You’ve always wanted to pick up and move to a new country, but jesus, how stupid would it be to quit your six-fig job? But, you’re so damn good at what you do! But, then again, Italy is calling… If you’ve faced any of these harrowing decisions (or something similar) you know what it can feel like to tow the line of QUIT or PERSEVERE. I mean… how do you know if you should stick with something or if you should just quit while you’re (sort of) ahead? In this episode, I cover off six, specific tactics you can employ to make your de

NEW *FREE* WORKSHOP ~> Have you ever replayed a conversation with someone over and over again in your mind, completely making up what the other person was thinking/feeling/intending? Or how ’bout this one… ever obsessively worry about something day and night until this *thing* comes to fruition, and NOTHING even remotely close to what you were worrying about actually happens? Or have you ever said something like, “I’m just such a perfectionist” or “I can’t tell my husband that!!” If any of those scenarios seem eerily familiar, you will want to catch this week’s pod where we’re discussing all things Stories We Make Up. As in, all the ways in which we get locked into a specific story which inevitably keeps us small, stuck, and stressed-the-fuck out. Things like thinking you HAVE to do something… The story being “I don’t have any choice in the matter”. Or making up a whole story about what your mom meant/thought/felt when she made that one comment last week. We are wildly imaginative beings and sometimes, we giv

NEW **FREE** WORKSHOP ~>   In 2009, Bronnie Ware broke the internet (yes, before Kim K.) with her riveting blog post, The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying, chronicling her time as a palliative care nurse. Due to the instant popularity, because um… it HIT HOME for so many people, Ware published her first book of the same name in 2012. Perhaps you have seen the meme floating around Facebook or Insta and maybe you even gave it a little thumbs-up or a double tap and went on your merrily, scrolling way. Isn’t this what we do with good ideas these days? We simply give it a nod, and then jump back into our routine of people-pleasing, over-working, or numbing out so we don’t have to, you know… actually FEELwhat we’re going through. I’m certainly not talking shit, because #trust I have been there, but I think standing back and looking at the grand scheme of our lives can make your boss’s demands seem a bit trivial or your family drama super unnecessary. This pod is about getting down to fucking business. No more wishing for

NEW **FREE** WORKSHOP ~>   Recently a listener wrote in to the show sharing her woes surrounding her tenured relationship that had entered into the oh-so-boring world of dull-ass date nights. Perhaps you know the drill. The same restaurants. Ordering the same foods. The same stale conversations. Or perhaps, not much conversation at all. The same sexual positions. Rinse. Repeat. Blaaaaaah. If you have found yourself in this precarious situation, you are most certainly not alone. Even the happiest couples [points to self] can fall into these patterns. It is damn-near impossible NOT to fall into some kind of rhythm, routine, or habit while in a long-term relationship. Layer in stressful jobs, family drama, and making sure you don’t fuck up your kids and you have a lovely recipe for some ho-hum date nights, amiright!? In this week’s show, I sound off on three tactics to igniting your love life through spicy AF date nights, fun ways to deeply connect, and easy go-tos that won’t leave you feeling like you have to p

We’re back this week with a Community Favorite episode. Why? Well, if you’ve been following our move to North Carolina, you may know we are in the process of buying a home. While we are off doing some #adulting, we are re-airing a pod topic that has been the focus of many conversations in the Joy Junkie After Hours podcast community - manifesting friendships!  I mean… how does one just magically create new peeps in your life? This episode spills all the deets. If you want to join in on the conversation, head over to our After Hours Facebook group. We hope to see you there!  So you’re in your thirties or forties and you look around you and wonder, where the hell are my besties at? Maybe you had awesome connections in college but now everyone’s in a different place… maybe you started working on yourself and getting into personal development and they’re still partying. Or you have a friend or two who you grew up with, but you have become radically different people… and often you wonder if you should still be fr

Tell me if this sounds familiar: Someone catches you completely off guard and lays into you about something you did/didn’t do and everything in you wants to tell them where they can shove it. But instead, you brush it off, telling yourself it’s just not worth it. But is it over? The confrontation – Yes. The emotion? Hardly. You ruminate on everything you wish you would have said. You make up stories about the other person and what an asshat they are. You replay and replay and replay. You lose sleep. You toss it around with your bestie. You avoid the person. Been there? Or how about this one: You know you need to speak up to someone. Maybe it’s Mom. Maybe it’s your boss. Maybe it’s your spouse. Something you know need to share, but god-damn it if you don’t get all clammed up, nervous, and fumbly every time to try to speak up. Your voice shakes, your heart races, you may even cry, and nothing comes out as planned? Hit home? If either of those situations sound familiar, you are certainly not alone. Whether we ne

NEW *FREE* WORKSHOP ~>    You have a big decision to make. Maybe it’s about a new job. Or if you should move across the country. Maybe ending a relationship… or starting one. And, you are totally fucking confused. Your head is spinning around in The Land of What Ifs. What if you don’t make the right choice? What if you regret it? What will your mom say? I mean… how does one just make tough decisions? Write out a pros and cons list? Ask your besties what you should do? Then, why don’t any of those things help you feel solid and confident in your choice? Why are you still unsure and anxious? Well, first off, you are soooo not alone. No one teaches us how to make powerful choices rooted in our own fulfillment. We’re taught to check off lists and fit into boxes and craft a life that complies. And what no one ever tells you is that often leads to massive disappointment. Let’s flip that script, shall we? In this episode, I cover off five major concepts you MUST employ to make powerful decisions (so you don’t end up

NEW *FREE* WORKSHOP ~>  Ever find yourself desiring deep, rich connections with your partner or your friends and family but have a hellova time letting your guard down? Maybe you even find yourself craving deep intimacy but you’re absolutely terrified to really “be seen”. I mean, isn’t it just safer to stay walled up? Well… if the other party was vulnerable first… maybe then it would be safe. Maybe. Why is it so damn hard to be vulnerable? If you’ve found your mind spinning with the same questions, you are certainly not the exception. Many of us crave rich, soulful connections with our loved ones, but we’re absolutely paralyzed by fear of being vulnerable. So we put up massive walls, don’t let people in, and then wonder why we don’t have intimacy. In this episode, I challenge Mr. Smith to a round of True and False to see how savvy he is on all things Vulnerability. I dig into the detrimental notions we’re inundated with in our culture, how it sends major mixed messages about vulnerability, and why you need to

NEW *FREE* WORKSHOP ~>  Ever find yourself obsessing about what others may be thinking? Or re-run conversations in your head, second-guessing everything you said? Have a difficult time saying ‘No’ because…um, what if they don’t like me!? Ever feel like if someone is disappointed in you, you are damn-near destroyed and ruined? Or do you ever experience extreme guilt when you take time for yourself or set up a boundary? If you answered ‘yes’ to any of those Qs, it’s likely that you are struggling with some serious approval addiction… essentially, the need to be liked… At. All. Costs. And those “costs” are usually your time, energy, self-worth, and desires. And, let me tell you, you are most certainly not alone. In this week’s show I look at the common ways approval addiction shows up in your life and a specific 5-step process you can take to start ushering in some #legit SELF-approval… Instead of always worrying about what everyone else is thinking about you. #exhausting This pod explores: How to acknowledge t

NEW *FREE* WORKSHOP ~>  You’re livid. Heads are about to roll. Maybe you found out that your partner didn’t take care of an important issue at your child’s school leaving you scrambling at the last minute. Or perhaps your sister went behind your back and shared something with other family members when you specifically asked her not to. Or maybe you can’t listen to the news, get direction from *you know who* at work, or drive to the gym without feeling like you could punch someone (or many someones) in the teeth. Listen, up, Babycakes. Anger is real. It’s a natural, human reaction to feeling wronged, threatened, or victimized. But, if you’re like many peeps, you have never been given the tools to navigate anger in a healthy way without plummeting head first into an addiction, a physical altercation, or massively regretting everything you just said/did… like, damaging property or something. So, is the trick to not get mad? Of course not. In the first half of this episode, I spell out some Dos and Don’ts around

NEW FREE WORKSHOP ~> Ever find yourself up against a shitstorm in your life and your first instinct is to blame your partner/boss/kids/sister/economy/government, etc.? When we are contending with something challenging, we will naturally want to blame someone or something… after all, it’s much, much easier than looking at your role in the matter. Or have you found yourself attached to the notion that you are “simply not enough” or “not worthy of love” or some other bullshit you’ve decided is for sure TRUE? Or how about this one: Have you ever found yourself obsessing about taking care of everyone else; making sure they are completely happy… sometimes at a severe cost to your sanity and peace? If any of those scenarios ring true for you, have a listen to the episode where I explore five ways to check yourself before your wreck yourself, Babycakes! Get ready to “check” your judgement and blame, your internal “truth”, and what is and is not your responsibility. With each obstacle presented, I share exactly what y

FREE WORKSHEETS WITH THIS EPISODE ~>   Ever find yourself getting super pumped up about a new opportunity and all of sudden BAM! That little voice creeps in telling you why it’s going to be a total disaster, why you are sooooonot smart enough, why everyone else is surely going to figure out what a fraud you are, or simply that you just do not deserve such an opportunity? If any of that sounds waaaaaay too familiar, don’t panic! You’re super normal and this inner mind battle is something we ALL struggle with and there are some very practical ways to get a grip on this serious mind fuck. Although the personal development community refers to this little voice as everything from The Ego to Inner Critic to The Saboteur, I personally resonate with the idea of an Inner Shit-Talker. That small piece of you who gets terrified of change, what others will think of you, and the always present attachment to “not enough”. In this episode, you’ll learn all about how to catch your IST red-handed, find out what you would RATH

So... I've got nothin'. That's right. No pod this week. [womp, womp] And I really didn't want to let you down. But, if I've learned anything in the last decade I've been teaching personal development, it is the importance of walking my talk. If I am telling you to take care of yourself, then I should certainly do the same. I really just needed a week off from creating the podcast.  Not to worry... Mr. Smith and I will be right back in your inbox and podcast feed next week. In the meantime, why not check out my free workshop on perfectionism, self-doubt and overwhelm. Grab all of the deets below. NEW *FREE* WORKSHOP!   READY TO GET RID OF PERFECTIONISM, SELF-DOUBT, AND OVERWHELM? OF COURSE, YOU ARE!   Is this the year you go from a people-pleasing, guilt-tripped perfectionist to a bold and boundaried badass? Um, yeah. I think it is! If you’re DONE feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and stressed out because you’re constantly doing, doing, doing for everyone else, then you must grab your seat in this brand-new works

GRAB YOUR *FREE* JOURNALING WORKSHEETS!   Tell me if this sounds familiar: You find out your partner didn’t handle a bill they promised they would handle or maybe they forgot to pick up your kid when they were supposed to (throwing your schedule into pure chaos) and your first response is to Take. Them. To. School. I mean… you just totally rip them a new one. Or maybe you just give them the full-on silent treatment. How about this one? Your partner is super upset about an incident with his/her boss and you’re like, “Just don’t let them get to you. I don’t know why you stew on this all day.” Yet, that statement seems to piss them off even more. ?? And, have you ever done *that thing* where your partner says one simple statement like, “Have you seen the checkbook?” and you immediately start to create story after story in your mind about how they don’t trust you with money, they think you took the checkbook and are a liar and a thief, you’re going to get in a huge fight which you may not recover from and then al

GRAB YOUR *FREE* JOURNALING WORKSHEETS!   Ever find yourself thinking, “If my husband would just get his shit together, this relationship would be fine”? Or maybe you find yourself keeping score? Like, if he isn’t initiating sex, why should I? Or, if he can’t pick up his shit, why should I? And, then maybe you do passive-aggressive moves like let dishes pile up for 3 weeks or some other shit to “prove a point”… which OF COURSE leads to a huge fight where you both blame each other. Hmmm. How did I know? Because you are sooooo not alone. You wanna know why? Because no one ever taught you how to communicate in a healthy way. We learn most of our relationship habits from trial and error, our parental examples, or media… all of which suck. Well… your parents may not suck, but you get my point. We rarely have sound instruction on how to express our needs, how to communicate with one another, and how to resolve conflict. If you find yourself struggling in any of these areas, this episode will give you an arsenal of

NEW *FREE* WORKSHOP ~>   One of the most amazing things about our current social climate is the influx of personal growth concepts and ideas. Although it’s been beautiful to see the self-help space blossom and expand, there are certainly some ways in which these concepts can stir up problems and sticking points. For instance… Ever have a situation where you’re all pumped up to speak up for yourself and the other person does NOT react well? Or have you ever heard a new podcast or read a book and your first thought was that you HAVE TO tell your sister about it because Lawd, knows she needs it… and you completely forget to look at the application to YOUR life? Or maybe you’ve fallen into a hoarding pattern… where you collect program after program or book after book and you don’t actually implement what you’re learning. Or maybe they simply collect dust on your bookshelf or hard drive. If any of those examples rings a bell, you’ll #def want to catch this episode. I share 5 ways self-help can go wrong and what yo

NEW *FREE* WORKSHOP ~> Ever see super confident people and wonder how-the-hell they became so sure of themselves? Ever wonder if they were just born that way or if someone taught them or if some life experience shaped them into that person who oozes confidence and self-assuredness? However they came to that state, you could sooo get in on that action, amiright? In this episode, I dig into 5 super easy ways to build confidence immediately. You don’t have to read an entire book or become a totally self-help guru to learn how to place value on yourself… and it also doesn’t have to take decades. The tools presented in this episode will help you nail down what might be in the way of your self-confidence, identify what will kick your ass into gear, and snag some serious self-confidence in no time flat. This pod explores: Why “pride” is integral to your personal self-confidence and how to get you some How to get a handle on your self-talk so your inner voice is more like a cheerleader instead of a bully How your bo

NEW *FREE* WORKSHOP ~>   I used to flippantly refer to myself as a Perfectionist and oftentimes I would elude to it being somewhat of a badge of honor. As I got older and my anxiety increased, I realized that being a chronic perfectionist was actually STEALING my joy instead of making my job easier. But, how does one just stop being a perfectionist? Perhaps you find yourself in the same boat; Vacillating between being SOLD on the idea that everything has to be just perfect and the conflicting desire to let things “go with the flow” or just be “good enough”. If you’ve found yourself in this dance, you are most certainly not alone. In this week’s episode, I break down just how detrimental the strive for perfection can be and how it often leads to much suffering, frustration, and angst. Additionally, I dig into 5, easy-to-implement steps you can take to begin allowing room for your humanity without sacrificing excellence and how you can maintain your integrity AND your sanity. This pod explores: Why “Perfect” d

NEW *FREE* WORKSHOP ~>   Ever have that experience where you realize aaaaaall the things you wish you would have said in a conversation earlier in the day? Or even a week ago? Like, maybe you were offended by something a co-worker said, but you chose to let it slide, and now, upon reflection, you’re totally beating yourself up for not saying something in the moment. I mean… you know you should have spoken up, but what do you do about it now? Just feel like shit about yourself? Um, no. Recently a listener reached out the show expressing her challenge with this specific issue. She was curious if there were any ways she could catch herself in the moment instead of dealing with “delayed regret”. Turns out, there are a number of things you can do, which I dig into on this week’s episode. Additionally, another listener posed a question about how to have the tough convo with a family member you’ve deemed too toxic and abusive to stay connected to. Do you just say, “Hey, you’re a bit too abusive and toxic, so I’m out