The Joy Junkie Show

NEW WORKSHOP ~> You walk into work, totally optimistic about your day, and you give your co-worker a casual ‘How-ya-doin’-today?’ She responds with her usual quip about how she’s ‘alright-I-guess’ but immediately launches into complaining about her neighbor/workload/recent ailment. Or maybe it’s every time you give your sister a ring on the phone. You ask how she’s doing. She starts off with all the problems… all the things that are shitty… or all the reason’s she’s a total victim. And you’re over here like, “Why is everyone so damn negative!?” It can sometimes feel like it will take a sheer act of god to stay positive around negative people. It tends to be a much more difficult endeavor to get others to join your positivity movement than to simply indulge and comply with their complaints, ho-humery, or victim mentality. So, what’s a personal development junkie to do when around such negativity? Just cut those people out entirely? But, what if they’re co-workers? I can’t just quit my job! And, what if they ar

NEW WORKSHOP ~> If you’re like many of my clients and students, you have likely found yourself super inspired to start speaking up for yourself… even to those tough peeps (hi, mom) who make it extremely challenging. You muster all your new-found courage and go broach the challenging topic at hand with the challenging person at hand, and BOOM! “Said person” doesn’t get what you’re trying to share, totally doesn’t respect any boundaries you propose, and hurls so much guilt and hurt your way, you’re not totally sure you’ll survive. You’re left vacillating between two very opposing emotions. On one hand, you are super, fuckin’ proud of yourself for taking a stand and spelling out some tough boundaries. But on the other hand, you’re terribly hurt, bummed out, and deeply saddened that your loved one and you are at odds. Listen, when you start speaking up for what YOU want for a change, there are going to be people in your life who just do not like the new, “empowered you”. They may be mean, make you wrong, or push

NEW WORKSHOP ~> Ever find yourself obsessing about what others may be thinking? Or re-run conversations in your head, second-guessing everything you said? Have a difficult time saying ‘No’ because… um, what if they don’t like me!? Ever feel like if someone is disappointed in you, you are damn-near destroyed and ruined? Or do you ever experience extreme guilt when you take time for yourself or set up a boundary? If you answered ‘yes’ to any of those Qs, it’s likely that you are struggling with some serious approval addiction… essentially, the need to be liked… At. All. Costs. And those “costs” are usually your time, energy, self-worth, and desires. And, let me tell you, you are most certainly not alone. In this week’s show I look at the common ways approval addiction shows up in your life and a specific 5-step process you can take to start ushering in some #legit SELF-approval… Instead of always worrying about what everyone else is thinking about you. #exhausting This pod explores: How to acknowledge that a s

FREE WORKSHOP ~> Just think positive. Put on a happy face. Look on the brightside. Think happy thoughts. Don’t cry over spilled milk. Good vibes only. Sound familiar? There is no shortage of platitudes and idioms that send the message that the only acceptable emotion to feel is happiness. The underlying implication is that emotions of sadness, worry, shame, embarrassment, etc. are simply not permissible. And, for god sake, don’t let me actually see you experience one of those emotions. So, “sweep it under the rug” and “have an attitude of gratitude”. And, then if you are in a personal shitstorm, you feel guilty for actually feeling awful. Like, other people have it sooooo much worse, so who am I to feel bummed about losing this job promotion? Better put on a face of “nothing to see here”. And perhaps you’ve even found yourself saying one of these platitudes to someone else. Instead of the awkward intimacy of witnessing someone in an uncomfortable state, we say, “Don’t cry” or something else that completely by

FREE WORKSHOP ~> Hands up if you’re a chronic rule follower! (Same, girl. Same) How ‘bout rule breaker? (Ooooo, you rebel, you!) It’s likely that wherever you fall on the rule-breaking spectrum, constantly breaking or never breaking rules doesn’t always serve you. For example, Mr. Smith used to looooove to break the rules of the road. Drive in the carpool lane. Park in the red zone. You name it. But, he paid for it dearly. Financially and maritally. He has a natural inclination to break the rules. I, however, am on the opposite ends of the spectrum. I am overly punctilious and have found that NOT breaking the rules has cost me dearly in the past. So, how do we know when we need to break the rules and when we need to fall in line? Is there a set guideline? And, what if the rules are imposed on us by religion, society, or government? And, how does that differ from our self-imposed rules? Like, I-can’t-have-anyone-over-to-my-house-unless-it’s-spotless kind of rules? In this episode, I explore what it looks like

NEW FREE WORKSHOP ~> If you’re like most, this past year has wreaked an abundance of havoc on your mental, physical, and emotional faculties. If it wasn’t the collective trauma of constant fear of a looming and evasive virus, painful isolation, or loss of personal freedom, it was the loss of a job, finances, a loved one, or possibly the end of an important relationship. In short, 2020 can eat a bag of dicks, amiright!?  So, where does that leave us now? The genesis of a new year often gives us hope and thrill of possibility and opportunity. But, what does that really look like? What does it mean to consciously create a fresh start and actively move on? Does that mean we sweep everything under the table and put on a happy face? Hardly.  In this week’s show I look at seven actionable steps you can take in order to shed the trauma of the past year, identify what you need to succeed, and begin to take action toward the life you desire. No matter what scars the past year has saddled you with, this episode will giv

At the start of every year, it’s likely you get pumped up and excited to make some serious change. You decide on a handful of things that you are GOING to conquer this year, god-damn-it! But what actually makes those goals a reality? Throughout my decade-plus in this work, I have found that noble intentions have very little to do with bringing goals to fruition. Good ol’ fashioned gumption and desire are not enough to make your dreams come true. [sad trombone] In fact, a recent Inc.com article indicated that only 8% of people actually accomplish their goals. WHOA!! 8%!? Well, fuck. But, wait. Never fear, Babycakes, because this episode targets seven ways people tend to sabotage their own goals (without even realizing it) and how you can set yourself up to slaaaaay all your goals. It’s not rocket science, but if you employ some of these easy tactics, you will kill all your 2021 goals! Yes, please! This pod explores: My favorite tool to use to ensure you are tackling this goal for YOU (instead of mom/fam/boss/

FREE PLANNING GUIDE WITH THIS EPISODE! If you’re like most people, you have an overwhelming sense of excitement and ambition come the new year. Also like most people, perhaps you hit Jan gang-busters-style, but when Feb rolls around you have slowly begun to lose steam, fervor, and action. Also, 2020 kicked many of our asses, so there’s that to contend with. Many people (and maybe YOU) enter the New Year with many plans and intentions, but somehow end up a bit off track sooner than later. In this episode, I address the biggest obstacles people unknowingly establish for themselves when crafting New Year’s goals and “resolutions”. Yep, you read that right… many people actually make their job a shit-ton harder by not setting themselves up for success to begin with. I also share my personal planning tool I use to ensure I establish solid goals in aaaaall areas of my life (not just fitness and money… but, yes, those too). Be sure to grab your free planning guide so you can plan and organize a seriously epic 2021 by

NEW FREE WORKSHOP ~> Tell me if this sounds familiar: You get into a confrontation or altercation with an overbearing family member, colleague, or whoever. You are totally caught off guard and after the incident your mind is spinning with all the things you should have said. Your mind doesn’t stop. You continue to ruminate and replay the incident, feeding into a frustrating anxiety spin out. Or how about this: You have an opportunity to start your own business, get back into the dating scene, or finish an important project but you can’t seem to get past your procrastination. You know what you need to do, you even know how to do it, but you seem to just stay paralyzed. What do these situations have in common? Both are fueled by a primitive fear response that is showing up as anxiety and procrastination. As we have evolved as humans our various fear responses (fight, flight, freeze, fawn), have morphed into modern day iterations. Namely: anxiety, depression, procrastination, and people-pleasing. If you find you

NEW FREE WORKSHOP ~> Ever feel like you just can’t quite enjoy the holidays because you’re in the middle of an emotional shitstorm that seems to make the season trying, stressful, and overwhelming? Maybe it’s your first holiday after being newly divorced. Or maybe it’s the fifth Christmas without your beloved mother, and you can’t seem to understand why it’s still so damn hard for you. Or perhaps you just moved your family across the country and although it was an amazing decision for you, you still find yourself incredibly nostalgic, overly emotional, and sensitive. If any of that sounds familiar, it’s likely that there is something in your world that needs a little processing. (And, no there’s nothing wrong with you.) Perhaps what’s tugging at you is the need for full-on grieving the loss of a loved one, which feels exacerbated by the sentimental tone of the holiday. Or perhaps it’s as simple as “a case of the blues” because you’ve changed jobs and aren’t able to do the gift exchange with your previous comp

NEW FREE WORKSHOP ~> Ever find yourself reaching out to someone or something that you know isn’t in your best interest but you can’t seem to stop yourself from doing so? Maybe it’s having a few too many drinks when you’ve been trying to quit or reaching out to an ex who is beyond bad for you. Or maybe you’ve found yourself so stressed out over your intimate relationship that you’ve thrown yourself into work so you don’t have to address the sadness and isolation you feel in your relationship. What do all of these scenarios have in common? Emotional intelligence. The Oxford Dictionary defines emotional intelligence as “the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.” Whew – great. I’ll get right on that, amiright!? Listen, if you’re like many of us, you didn’t grow up learning how to emote freely and express the depths of your feelings without some kind of negative repercussion. Which leads to plenty of adults feeling al

NEW FREE WORKSHOP ~> Even though the holiday season is supposed to be all merry and bright and full of glad tidings, it’s quite certain that you’ve found yourself engaged with total overwhelm, buckling from the stress, and dangerously approaching burnout. Although fun and festive, it can take a sheer act of god to keep you from losing your ever-lovin’ mind during the chaos of this time of year, amiright!? If it’s not the multitude of gifts to buy or the food to prep, then it’s surely the family drama or workplace obligations that bring you to your breaking point. And while you’re spending money on shit you don’t want to buy or baking food for people you don’t even enjoy very much, you find yourself wondering why the fuck peace on earth has eluded you. But, lord help you if you don’t show up to the office party with the secret santa gift or all hell might break loose if you tell the in-laws you can’t make it this year. If you have found yourself overloaded by holiday stress and obligations, get ready for a hug

NEW FREE WORKSHOP ~> Find yourself dreading holiday functions with your family because it’s only a matter of time until your mom pesters you about why you don’t go to church anymore… or you aunt gives you shit for not having kids or not being married… or your uncle gets in a heated (uncomfortable) “discussion” about gun rights? Or perhaps you’re dreading the impending convo where your bro asks you for money. Again. Even though the holidays are supposed to be merry and bright, they can often be the most stressful when it comes to dealing with our families. Enter years of baggage, a shit-ton of guilt, mix in some alcohol, and you have a family holiday that leaves you feeling like shit instead of connected with those you supposedly love the most. If this sounds any kind of familiar, all is not lost. And, believe it or not, you can totally take back your holiday experience, boundary your ass off, and consciously CHOOSE your focus this holiday. Even if your sister is an ass-hat. This pod explores: How to prepare

NEW FREE WORKSHOP ~> We’re pressing pause on the podcast this week to allow time to process the heaviness of the U.S. elections.  Not to worry, Ms. and Mr. Smith will be right back in your feed with a new episode next Monday about How to NOT Lose Your Shit with Your Family This Holiday Season. In the meantime, if you want to get your hands on another freebie, check out Amy’s free workshop. In it, she shares 5 strategies to help banish self-doubt and perfectionism, help you access killer confidence + 'enoughness' and finally find your voice. If you’re DONE feeling like your own worst enemy, constantly beating yourself up, and overwhelmed because you’re constantly doing, doing, doing for everyone else, then grab your seat in this workshop!  Get all the deets and register at TheJoyJunkie.com/Workshop. Mr. and Ms. Smith will be back in your ears next week with an all-new episode.

NEW FREE WORKSHOP ~> I can’t tell you the countless times I have heard someone say, “I can’t trust myself.” Whether it be trusting their ability to make decisions, attracting the right person into their love life, making sound judgements around money, or following through on a commitment, it has certainly been a common theme. Maybe you can relate. Maybe you find yourself wanting to create change in your life, but you keep reminding yourself of the past, situations you fucked up, and landing you in the land of self-distrust. Maybe you made a bad financial decision a while back and now you don’t trust yourself to make another move because you’re sure you’ll mess it up. So, you remain stagnant and paralyzed by fear. Or maybe you found out a close friend or lover was not who they said they were. And, now you wonder if you can rely on your intuition or judgement of character. So, you guard yourself from others and isolate. Please know that if you have learned to stop trusting yourself, you can certainly learn to s

NEW FREE WORKSHOP ~> If you’re a living, breathing human, it’s likely that you’ve found yourself disgruntled over something your partner is/isn’t doing, something you wish your boss would STOP already, or something you wished your bestie would do/say/be for you. Most of the time, we register how frustrated we are with another party, but we forget to move past that irritation to look at what we can do to get our needs met. I mean… it’s so much easier to just blame, amiright!? Maybe you need to ask your partner to step up financially. Maybe you need your boss to add another member to your team. Maybe you need some support from your sister. But, shit that seems hard. So you just complain and hold it in until it erupts like a god-damned volcano. And, then the relationship gets worse. So… How exactly does one start in getting their needs met? I’m so glad you asked. In this week’s show, I’m listing out seven, super practical and easy-to-implement tips to help you identify the real issue you need to address, how to

NEW FREE WORKSHOP ~> You’re too emotional. You take things too personally. You overthink things. You’re so dramatic. You’re too sensitive. Ugh. Amiright!? If you’re like many people in the JJ community, it’s likely someone has said these words to you in some iteration. And, it’s likely you got the notion that being a highly sensitive or emotional person was a horrible thing to be. Many people grow up in households where being an emotionally expressive person isn’t desirable or even accepted. Maybe even shamed. So perhaps you learned to silently berate yourself for how deeply you felt when no one else seemed to be affected. You learned to make yourself wrong and hide your sensitivity as best you could. You learned to not “burden” others with how you feel. If this sounds a bit familiar, please know that you are most certainly not alone. In this week’s show, I discuss what it means to be a sensitive person in a world that tells you to be otherwise, how to embrace this part of yourself, and what it looks like to

NEW FREE WORKSHOP ~> A few weeks back, I asked the Pod-iance what instances left them fumbling for words and lacking the knowledge of what to say. And wow, did y’all deliver! One listener was stumped on what to say when someone says something you disagree with or that straight-up offends you. Another expressed difficulty speaking up when everyone and their mother has an opinion about what she should do for her wedding. And yet another expressed a tough time being vocal when a well-meaning person dismisses a powerful choice you’ve made (like not wanting kids or not eating meat). Tough ones, right? Isn’t it easier to just sweep it under the rug or not rock the boat? Sure it is. But there is a cost to letting others mow you over with their words. Every time you choose to silence yourself, you are sending a subconscious message to yourself that your wants, opinions, and needs simply don’t matter as much as other people. That’s a HUGE message to your self-worth! And, not a good message, I may add. Have a listen to

NEW FREE WORKSHOP ~> You’re cruising along on your personal growth journey and feeling all empowered and then WHAM! Before you realize what hit you, you begin taking a few steps backward for every step forward. Maybe you start beating yourself up for making a poor decision because, “Damn it! I should know better!” Maybe you catch yourself dealing with MORE shit with your fam and you’re like, “I thought I already dealt with this! Why is this coming up again!?” Or maybe you’ve been “dabbling” in personal development but you haven’t really made the commitment to implement what you’ve learned. You catch a podcast here and there or take a home study course and yet you find yourself wondering, “Why am I still not happy? Maybe this doesn’t work for me.” If you’ve experienced any bumps along the way during your personal development journey, join the club! Many self-help concepts are about a new way of viewing and engaging with the world, so OF COURSE there will be setbacks. The good news? The good news is that I’m la

NEW FREE WORKSHOP ~> Recently, a listener wrote into the show expressing a specific challenge she had been struggling with: Telling her super-sweet, well-meaning husband to STOP doing something. Something that was really kind and definitely from a place of love and adoration for her. I mean… she didn’t want to break his heart or seem ungrateful. So, does one just bite the tongue and grin and bear it? Not exactly. When someone is an asshole, that’s one thing. At least they’re making your job easier. But, what do you do when you don’t want that second date with someone with the biggest heart? Or how do you tell your mom to stop buying something for your home that you really don’t need/want? In this week’s show, I look at specific phrases and tactics to use when telling someone, “Um, thanks, but no thanks” without feeling like a big asshole. If you have always stayed silent because GOD FORBID you hurt someone’s feelings, this pod is a must-listen. We’ll look at exactly how to deliver your request with grace and