Welcome (back) To Roswell: A Rewatch/reboot/recap Podcast

It's season three on your favorite Alien soaps! First, we witness Liz and Max's descent from sweet skinnydippers to armed robbers. Then, on RNM, Liz and Max are separated but each find a great storyline for Ryan and Patrick to geek out over. 

Triple-header-season-ender. We have Max getting emotional, Candy being sweet as hell and and a weird middle episode that Ryan and Patrick don't really know what to do with. This week, we complete Roswell season two!

These episodes are just really sad and really grounded. That doesn't leave Patrick and Ryan much to be silly about, but they do their best and that's all Alex would've wanted.

This week, Patrick and Ryan discuss Max and Liz being the worst Gamble Guys, Isabel destroying boundaries and how Kyle remains the GOAT.

This week Patrick and Ryan dig deep into mansion home design, Ryan's Grey's Anatomy Izzy continuity theory and why Kyle and Alex are the best.

This week Isabel is back to her old tricks, everyone is mean to Maria's cousin, and Sheriff Valenti is in T-R-O-U-B-L-E. 

Our episodes this week bring a big decision for Max, the return of Amy Deluca (yay!) and a whole lotta God talk. YMMV, but Patrick and Ryan have a good time parsing it all out.

This week, parents are shifted into another time dimension, Max is a bossy pants and Kyle remains the best. Also, it's time for the alt versions of our favorite aliens as they invade Roswell with their attitude, schemes and accents.

Surprise! Patrick and Ryan prematurely end their hiatus to do a Roswell s2 catch up. This week, it's FutureMax and a surprising amount of horniness on The End of the World and Creepy Nicholas living in a Ghost Town on The Harvest. 

On this week's episode, Ryan and Patrick go back to the forties, but this time on O.G. Roswell. So many cute outfits! Also, a whole heckuva lot happens on Roswell, New Mexico. Things get wrapped up, Alex sings, Liz sees the ocean, and a whole new villain is revealed.

If you are a teen boy wondering if you should do a striptease for your erstwhile girlfriend's birthday at a restaurant during a party attended by PARENTS, we have some advice. Bottom line: don't do it. Also, Max is being bossy and Jim is pissing us off with his cop shit. On Roswell New Mexico, there is A LOT happening. Some of it sweet, some of it shocking and some of it making us wish that there were 7-9 more eps this season to fully explore. Plus, Maria is in mortal danger, and Ryan is not happy.

This week on Roswell, it's time for Max to make a stand, Kyle to talk Buddha and Maria to wear very short skirts. We are definitely in the second season, people. Over on Roswell New Mexico, one scene may have single-handedly turned Ryan into a Steph/Kyle shipper. We also get Michael using his powers to be a badass, Diego demonstrating Acts of Service, and Max holding Liz responsible for her evil scientist shenanigans. 

Season two of Roswell begins, bringing with it makeovers for human and alien alike. Over on Roswell, New Mexico, Liz lives her nightmare while the aliens go on a road trip to uncover their past. It's a lot, and that's not even mentioning the last 45secs of WILDNESS that leaves Ryan and Patrick straight up shook.

Who knew that the name of Roswell's season one finale combined with the name of the ninth episode of season two of Roswell, New Mexico would be so alliterative and cute? Not Ryan, until titling this episode of the podcast. Destiny & the Diner sounds like the perfect cozy romance novel to read during quarantine.

This week, Max is trapped in the White Room and Roswell is all the better for it. The aliens work together, X-men style while their human steadies give themselves ulcers waiting to see if Max can be rescued. Ryan and Patrick also debate whether the alien four are even aliens at all or simply "humans of alien origin." And if you were wondering whether Ryan is happy to find out that Ben Kenobi was supposed to be looking out for Luke back on Tattooine. Well, she is NOT. All of that, plus a fun episode of Roswell, NM! The hosts stay on track long enough to agree that Maria's nosebleed is something to worry about,  discover the usefulness of the Roswell NM wiki, and miss Kyle across two Roswell universes.

This week there are more Max's than usual. On OG Roswell, the alien four are reunited and the humans just want to talk about feelings. That works out because that's what Ryan wants to talk about, too. Well, feelings and procedural Bones. Luckily, Patrick is up for both!  They also dig into the return of Liz's mom, emergence of Maria's superpowers and whatever the heck is up with Kyle.

This week Patrick and Ryan discuss alien-related revelations, analyze sexy dreams and lament the limited screen-time for Kyle Valenti. If OG Roswell comes up short with Kyle, Roswell NM corrects the error by putting Hot Doctor Kyle in glitter and crystals. It's a look guys, and Ryan is still recovering. 

This week, Patrick and Ryan talk chemistry class make-outs, busted little brothers, and remote camera hobbies on Roswell. Next, they talk the latest episode of Roswell, New Mexico and important issues such as: can you forgive a friend for bashing another friend in the head with a thesaurus? Patrick and Ryan agree that you cannot. 

This week we discover exactly what Max does that makes Ryan so mad at him that she doesn’t forgive him for many episodes. Patrick and Ryan also determine every OG Roswell character’s fave make out spot and marvel over the power of a bad curly wig to render Julie Benz unrecognizable. Over on Roswell NM, a lot happens but our hosts find time to discuss the strengths and weaknesses of long-running procedural Bones.

What happens when you sit down to watch an episode of your favorite show with your close friend only to be reminded that this is the episode where Liz and Max are turned on, like the WHOLE time? If you are Ryan and Patrick, you find much to discuss including what the sexiest of all fruit is and whether a single alien teen needs two bottles of syrup. Over on Roswell, NM, we get forties flashbacks, a hunky take on spirit Max and the inevitable hurt feelings that result from keeping a life changing secret from your best friend. Heads up, if your lover ever confronts you, asking "how much do you know?" is perhaps the worst response.