Oh Crap I Love My Toddler... But Holy F*ck

Today’s episode is the mother of all follow-ups. I’ll be revisiting my episodes on the ‘Go To Your Room’ strategy, tantrums, and negative associations, to clarify some confusion and answer all of your questions on these topics. One of the key ideas here is co-regulation, and whether you can lend your child your calm in moments of dysregulation. If you can be present with inaction, and simply be with your child without trying to fix the feeling or becoming dysregulated yourself, then you can hold space for them. But this is not always possible, as we could be dealing with stressors, trauma, or childhood wounds that sometimes make us lose our shit. And if that's the case, this is when you want to implement the harm reduction model and use the Go To Your Room strategy. It can be done in a way that doesn’t feel “abandoning”, and it prevents you from saying something psychologically damaging, and also allows your child to experience the full cycle of their feelings, and settle their bodies on their own.   The Fine