Kate Hastings Show

Unrealistic expectations are rarely random—they're often rooted in early experiences where love, attention, or safety were earned rather than freely given. As children, we absorb the unspoken rules of approval: be perfect, achieve more, don’t mess up. These rules become internalized standards we carry into adulthood, showing up in our careers, relationships, and personal goals. We think we’re aiming high, being disciplined, or pushing for excellence—but what we’re actually doing is reenacting a belief system where worth must be proven. This pressure creates a dangerous cycle: impossible standards lead to inevitable “failure,” which leads to internalized shame and dwindling confidence. This is the subtle art of self-sabotage. It doesn’t always look like destruction—it often looks like drive. You set the bar just out of reach, and when you can’t meet it, you turn inward and question your value. The loop is brutal: you fail to hit a mark that was never realistic, and instead of questioning the standard, you ques