Something Like Marriage

The holidays are a time to gather with our family, friends, and coworkers. There are social gatherings to attend and eggnog to drink. A time of joy and chatter. The holidays can also be a time of anxiety and stress. One of the tools we have found to be helpful during gatherings and in our family life is to become a gentle observer. A gentle observer, according to Maureen Graves, is someone who steps outside of the moment and notes what is happening. The gentle observer does not judge herself or himself, or other people. As we cannot control the behaviors of others, we focus on taking care of ourselves so we can have a loving experience. As Jon notes in the podcast, being a gentle observer is like becoming Ebenezer in A Christmas Carol. He is an onlooker to the past, present, and future. He can not meddle in the what is going on but merely observe from his perspective as a ghost. In this way, you can also become a spectator, you are not pulled into conversations by emotional responses. You can choose to resp