How Do You Feel? A Self-help Guru's Quest For Your Brain

How do you feel? If you said bad, I'd slap your face. When any minute of your life is sad, it's like slapping the face of God. People love to get slapped. The pain they inflict on others is twice as bad as when it's on them. You need to be familiar with the pain you inflict on other people, so you don't do it. What do you need to be happy? Happiness. Happiness doesn't come from people. You make YOURSELF happy. This world is a world of happiness. What makes God happy? You being happy makes God happy. Happiness is the way to happiness. Fat men who drive tiny cars are not happy, and if they are, I will shoot myself in the forehead. I'm a human being. I'm jealous. I have something wrong with me. I pretend that the people who have more than me have things wrong with them and those things are worse than the things that are wrong with me. You ever pretend you're in an alternate universe? You watch the movie "Truman Show," and think, "That's my life!" If I knew now what I know then, I'd be directing the show, not in