Midwest Real

LISTEN People are evil, violent, greedy, hopeless bastards.  Even as a prepubescent flesh ball that would experience withdrawal symptoms if you took away his Super Nintendo controller for more than five seconds, I knew that.  How could I not?  Fear of the “bad guys” was embedded into roughly 99.9% of the mega-tons of media I consumed on a daily basis.  As a tyke I'd often lie in bed at night fearing a who’s who of boogie men with all manner of otherworldly weaponry that I could never hope to defeat.  But, thankfully, I somehow managed to survive the onslaught of demonic hordes that plagued my mind, the news, movies and the games I so eagerly devoured. I'd even argue that some of it made me a better person.    More recently, from firsthand evidence, I've learned that as scary as the world can be, it’s actually a pretty awesome, dare I say, cooperative place.  I buy shit on Craigslist. I get rides from Uber drivers. And you know what?  I’ve never once been shanked, scammed or raped by a devil worshipper masquer