Hold Up

In 1988 director Newt Arnold brought us Bloodsport, a movie based on the “totally real” events of Frank Dux’s life, allegedly… Starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, and somehow Forest Whitaker, Bloodsport tells us the story of a young and mentally challenged white kid, Frank Dux, who is brought in to a Japanese household to act as a training dummy for the Tanaka clan’s son. However, it turns out that kid is a dud that has a date with a fatal accident, so Dux steps in to train and represent the Tanaka clan in the Kumite (like in the song). Frank goes to the tournament despite the military trying to stop him, possibly because he’s a time cop, and is pursued throughout Hong Kong as they attempt to arrest him and bring him home.  At the tournament, Frank befriends Booger from Revenge of the Nerds and a reporter who is desperately trying to get a look at Frank’s ass, and an invite to cover the tournament.  Booger gets his head stomped in by the defending champion, a Korean beast with terrifyingly huge pectoral muscles,