Dear Sugars

  • Autor: Vários
  • Narrador: Vários
  • Editor: Podcast
  • Duración: 239:28:55
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Sinopsis

Radically empathic advice

Episodios

  • Rewind: Career Vs. Love

    21/06/2025 Duración: 33min

    This episode was originally released on April 13th, 2017. You love your partner, you love your career... but they're pulling you in different directions. What do you do? Is it foolish to put your career on hold for the sake of your relationship? Or is it more foolish to give up a great relationship for the sake of your career? Or, is there a way to have both? The Sugars discuss two letters from women in relatively new relationships who are having trouble deciding what to prioritize. They have help from psychotherapist and sociologist Leslie Bell, author of Hard to Get: 20-Something Women and the Paradox of Sexual Freedom.

  • Introducing Other People’s Problems from CBC Podcasts

    07/06/2025 Duración: 41min

    Hi, Dear Sugars listeners, this is Amory Sivertson.. Host of WBUR's Beyond All Repair and co-host of Endless Thread. I'm here to share something special with you this week. It’s an episode of Other People’s Problems, from our friends at CBC. Normally, therapy sessions are totally confidential, but this podcast opens the doors. On this season, the host Dr. Hillary McBride explores the transformative power of psychedelics in a therapeutic setting. With her psychological expertise, Dr. Hillary leads clients through drug-assisted therapy, guiding them to new heights on their healing journeys. In this episode, you'll hear from Donovan, who has lived in fear and anger ever since he told the truth about being abused by his mother’s boyfriend and then felt betrayed by social workers who were supposed to help. Now, after several ketamine therapy sessions, Donovan can finally look back upon his child-self with care and calm and works to become the kind of adult he needed for his own children. Hope you enjoy the epis

  • Rewind: The Great Reckoning

    24/05/2025 Duración: 51min

    This episode was originally published on July 28th, 2018. Dear Sugars returned to Portland, Oregon, for an epic live show. Special guests Mitchell S. Jackson and Rebecca Skloot shared the stage with the Sugars to tell stories of personal reckoning and answer letters from the audience. To some extent, every letter the Sugars receive is a kind of reckoning, as it’s often the letter writer’s first attempt at taking account of their mistakes and delusions. In this episode, the Sugars take a long hard look at transgressions of love, friendship, the self and so much more. Mitchell S. Jackson is the author of “The Residue Years,” which won the Ernest J. Gaines Prize for Literary Excellence. He is the winner of a Whiting Award, and his honors include fellowships from Ted, the Lannan Foundation and The Rockefeller Foundation. His new book, "Survival Math," will be out in 2019. Rebecca Skloot is the author of the No. 1 New York Times best seller “The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks,” which was made into an Emmy-nom

  • Rewind: Haunted By Ghosting

    10/05/2025 Duración: 36min

    This episode was originally published on March 16th, 2017. The term "ghosting" may be relatively new, but the concept -- someone suddenly and inexplicably disappearing from your life -- is not. In the past, a total halt to communication with a friend might leave you feeling concerned that something bad happened to him/her. But in a time where our devices have made us more accessible than ever, it can leave the person who's been ghosted feeling rejected or unworthy. The Sugars discuss ghosting with the essayist and cartoonist Tim Kreider. He's the author of We Learn Nothing, a collection of essays that includes a story about being ghosted by a childhood friend.

  • Rewind: I Divorced My Spouse, And My Child Divorced Me

    26/04/2025 Duración: 30min

    This episode was originally released October 14th, 2016. Divorce is always a painful process, but it's especially so when there are children in the middle. In this favorite episode from the archives, the Sugars discuss situations of parental alienation caused by divorce. They answer letters from a mother and a father whose daughters have cut off all communication with them after taking the other parent's side.

  • Rewind: Emotional Labor

    12/04/2025 Duración: 44min

    This episode was originally published on May 5th, 2018. Remembering the grocery list, coordinating with the babysitter, making food for the potluck, scheduling a get-together with the in-laws: These are some of the invisible tasks that (most) women exclusively do in their romantic relationships — and the list goes on and on. Like a modern-day Greek chorus, women from across the country wrote in to the Dear Sugars inbox echoing identical inequalities in their relationships with their husbands and boyfriends. The Sugars commiserate with this aggrieved chorus along with Gemma Hartley, the writer who set off a national conversation about emotional labor with her viral article in Harper’s Bazaar, “Women Aren’t Nags — We’re Just Fed Up.” Broaching the subject of emotional labor with a romantic partner can be tricky, especially if he feels as if he’s being blamed for the imbalance of labor. The imbalance in Ms. Hartley’s marriage began righting itself when she and her husband shifted their perspective: “This is n

  • Redux: Trust Your Body

    28/03/2025 Duración: 41min

    This episode was originally released on June 11, 2018. Her doctor categorized her as overweight when she was 5 years old. Her grandmother always introduced her as the “chubby one.” As an adult, she vacillates between moderation and binge-eating, restricting food some weeks, and gorging on cake and ice cream during others. “It’s only when my pants are nearly impossible to button that I force myself to lose weight,” writes the letter-writer who calls herself Body Negative. “And then the pattern starts all over again.” The sinister cycle of dieting and binge-eating plagues many American women.  The body positivity movement promotes fat acceptance and attempts to reverse body-shaming, no matter one’s size. But Body Negative is skeptical, writing, “I struggle with how to be body positive after years of being told it’s wrong to be my size and weight. Is there such a thing as unconditional body acceptance?” Hilary Kinavey, M.S., L.P.C., and Dana Sturtevant, M.S., R.D., the co-owners of Be Nourished, join the Suga

  • Redux: Sex & Aging

    15/03/2025 Duración: 36min

    This episode was originally released on May 25th, 2018. When two women in their sixties start losing interest in sex, their sex-starved partners become increasingly frustrated. Both women blame old age for their waning libidos. But is their diminished sex drive because of age or something else? The erotic lives of senior citizens are typically made invisible by our culture, which can lead to confusion and misinformation. Dr. Pepper Schwartz, the love and relationship columnist for AARP, joins the Sugars to dispel certain myths about sex and aging: Do libidos change after menopause? How does the aging body affect the way we feel about sex? Should medical interventions be considered for a declining sex drive? Dr. Schwartz is a professor of sociology at the University of Washington and has written more than 25 books on love and sexuality. She’s also an on-air expert for Lifetime TV’s “Married at First Sight.” The Sugars Recommend “Our Souls at Night,” by Kent Haruf “Scary Old Sex,” by Arlene Heyman

  • Episodes We Love: Rapid Fire — Love & Money

    01/03/2025 Duración: 44min

    This episode was originally released on July 21st, 2018. When it comes to love, money is supposed to be no object. But there’s no disentangling love from anything in our lives, and income is no exception. So how do you assess the role money should play in a relationship, and what happens when your desires and means change over time? In this episode, five letter writers want to know how to discuss money with their romantic and familial partners. How do I stop resenting my husband for his low income? How do I ask my stay-at-home wife to get a job? Should I feel obligated to share the wealth with my fiscally irresponsible parents? The Sugars answer these questions and more in rapid-fire style.

  • Episodes We Love: Do I Follow My Head Or My Heart?

    15/02/2025 Duración: 25min

    Cheryl and Steve are no longer dishing out new advice, but we're listening back to episodes we love every week. This episode was originally released November 6, 2015. ____ The Sugars get a letter from a young woman who has fallen head over heels in love. She and her boyfriend only met a month ago, but they are already in deep. Everything seems perfect, and yet the letter writer can't help but wonder if the traumas of her new love's past are hiding somewhere under the surface, threatening to resurface. In this episode, the Sugars do something new — and get the letter writer on the phone to speak with her directly about her fears.

  • Redux: Rapid Fire Letters

    01/02/2025 Duración: 32min

    This episode was originally released July 29th, 2017. ____ In a heated moment, a mother reveals a dark chapter from her childhood to her daughter, then immediately regrets it. What now? In this week’s episode, the Sugars tackle this and several other questions, including how to handle a brother-in-law who treats your vacation as his own free childcare; what to do when your best friend’s husband asks you to lie; and why we sometimes recoil at very public displays of grief.

  • Rewind Rapid Fire: Love In Doubt

    18/01/2025 Duración: 44min

    This episode was originally released on January 5, 2017.  How many times have you heard this: "I love him, we're great together, but..."? There's always room for doubt, even in the happiest of relationships. So in this episode, the Sugars take on some of those doubts in rapid-fire fashion.

  • Rewind: How Do I Find The Courage To Be My Own Guide?

    04/01/2025 Duración: 26min

    This episode was originally released September 23rd, 2016. The Sugars often discuss letters dealing with very specific problems or struggles. In this encore episode, they take on a broader, more existential question: how to follow your heart. The Sugars discuss with the GRAMMY-winning singer/songwriter India Arie, who shares how she learned to be her own guide.

  • From the archives: The Great Reckoning

    26/10/2024 Duración: 51min

    This episode was originally published on July 28th, 2018. Special guests Mitchell S. Jackson and Rebecca Skloot share the stage with the Sugars to tell stories of personal reckoning and answer letters from the audience. To some extent, every letter the Sugars receive is a kind of reckoning, as it’s often the letter writer’s first attempt at taking account of their mistakes and delusions. In this episode, the Sugars take a long hard look at transgressions of love, friendship, the self and so much more. Mitchell S. Jackson is the author of “The Residue Years,” which won the Ernest J. Gaines Prize for Literary Excellence. He is the winner of a Whiting Award, and his honors include fellowships from Ted, the Lannan Foundation and The Rockefeller Foundation. His book, "Survival Math," was released in 2019. Rebecca Skloot is the author of “The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks,” which was made into an Emmy-nominated HBO film starring Oprah Winfrey and Rose Byrne. Her award-winning science writing has appeared in T

  • Redux: Dark Fantasies, Part 2

    28/09/2024 Duración: 29min

    This episode was originally released on January 20, 2018.  “I’m a 24-year-old woman who is completely and embarrassingly aroused by people who are confined to wheelchairs,” writes a woman who calls herself “Wishing to be Seen.” In her pained letter, she explains the possible origins of her isolating fetish and asks the Sugars for a way out: “I just want to have an orgasm with a real human rather than with my sad self, in my sad bed, sadly watching YouTube videos of women I feel I am objectifying and using.” “Wishing to Be Seen” is plagued by a single, shame-inducing fantasy, which Dr. Ian Kerner terms her “core erotic theme.” Where do our core erotic themes come from? And is it possible to escape their grip? In part two of our Dark Fantasies series, Dr. Kerner returns to help the Sugars answer these questions and delve deeper into the world of sexual fantasy. Dr. Kerner specializes in sex therapy and couples therapy. He’s also the New York Times best-selling author of “She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s G

  • Redux: Dark Fantasies, Part 1

    31/08/2024 Duración: 32min

    This episode was originally released on January 13, 2018.  Orgies. Sex in public. Incest. These are the things that some of us think about in the dark. Taboo fantasies can be exciting, but they can also be the source of our deepest shame. In this two-part series on sexual fantasies, the Sugars read letters from people who want to turn off the thoughts that turn them on. Dr. Ian Kerner, a psychotherapist and sexuality counselor, helps the Sugars answer a letter from a woman who calls herself “Fed Up With Fantasy.” She writes, “Ever since I started being a sexual being I’ve had terrible fantasies. Incest of every kind. Teachers having sex with their underage students. Gangbangs in public bathrooms. I cannot get turned on without thinking of these story lines. Did something bad happen to me that I have repressed so much I don’t even have a hint of it?” she asks. “And how do I make it stop?” Dr. Kerner and the Sugars explore where dark fantasies come from and offer “Fed Up With Fantasy” ways she can share them

  • Redux: Should I Intervene?

    03/08/2024 Duración: 40min

    This episode was originally published on August 12th, 2017. When we decide to meddle, it can often backfire. The Sugars, along with the writer Meghan Daum, answer letters from people who see loved ones heading down the wrong path, but worry intervention might be the wrong move.  

  • Redux: Moving On, Part 2

    13/07/2024 Duración: 43min

    his episode was originally released on August 25th, 2018. “Dear Sugars, I’m a serial codependent. I’ve married and had children with two addicts,” begins a letter signed by “Mommy Messed Up.” Over the years, her second husband began to withdraw and stash money inside of old bottles. Now Mommy Messed Up is ready to end their toxic relationship. The only problem is she’ll have to disrupt her children’s lives for a second time. “I’m fine with breaking my own heart,” she writes. “But how do I break my boys’ hearts?” In this second part of our series on moving on, the Sugars discuss how we can release ourselves from our past mistakes. Dr. Harriet Lerner drops in to answer a second letter from a woman who is haunted by her abortion, a decision she laments now that she’s experiencing early menopause. Like Mommy Messed Up, she is ruled by her regret. “We have to beware of the stories that we tell about ourselves because we become them,” Dr. Lerner advises. “And a story like the one she’s constructed is so narrow a

  • Redux: Moving On, Part 1

    29/06/2024 Duración: 46min

    This episode was originally released on August 18th, 2018. The Sugars have been thinking about what it means to say goodbye and let go. In this first episode of our two-part series on moving on, the Sugars and Claire Bidwell Smith answer two letters from people struggling to move past their grief after the death of their loved ones. The first letter comes from a woman who recently discovered that her best childhood friend died by suicide. In the wake of the news, she spent hours pouring over letters from her friend, and realized that there were signs of trouble early in life. Now she’s haunted by the fact that she failed to intervene years ago. “I keep ruminating on how Alejandra might have killed herself and where she was when she did it,” she writes. “I feel so much guilt from my complacency.” A second letter writer, who calls herself “Wracked by Guilt,” feels similarly about the death of her mother. “How do I get over the sickening feeling that I played a role in my mom’s death?” she asks. “How is it po

  • Rewind: Pet Dilemmas

    15/06/2024 Duración: 46min

    This episode was originally published on August 26th, 2017. In this episode, adventures in animal ownership! The Sugars, along with Julie Barton — author of the memoir Dog Medicine: How My Dog Saved Me From Myself — answer letters about pet dilemmas and the ways these creatures affect human relationships.

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