Poema Podcast

Today researcher and podcast host Holly Oxhandler Phd, LMSW joins me to talk about how the church can deal better with mental health - in particular during and post pandemic in the new realities it presents.   Holly shares the challenges the church faces dealing with people with mental illness and shares her thoughts on how churches, social workers, therapists and other professionals can work together in a healthier way to provide positive support to those struggling with their mental health. She also shares practical steps churches can take to deal with the issue of mental heath in a much healthier way without stigma.    Holly also discusses how managing mental health, including in the church, post pandemic, will change and what we need to do to adapt - and how church and mental health professionals need to work together much more and better if we're to deal with the grief and trauma the pandemic had brought us.     

Today author and speaker Marlena Graves returns to the podcast to talk about her new book 'The Way Up Is Down'. We explore how we can grow deeper in our spirituality, and come closer to the divine through emptying ourselves, through the act of surrender and letting go of materiality, ego, and pride - in contrast to how a lot of Western culture and even parts of the church have taught us. Marlena tells her own story, of her recovery from the grief of leaving a church community which had hurt her, the challenges she faced with her relationship with God and how she came to a place of raw honesty in her interactions with the divine.  Marlena shares the raw truth about Jesus's example of how when we humble ourselves, surrender, pour ourselves out, it's there we find true intimacy with the divine, and freedom to grow and become more like the Jesus we follow. 

Today I'm joined by Professor of Communication, interdenominational speaker and feature writer Heather Thompson Day. In this episode we discuss communication, and the power of words and stories to shape our lives, our circumstances and our relationships.  Heather shares how stories are what shape us, how we frame conversations can have an impact on how we work, and our spiritual journey. And she demonstrates how we can influences people's perspectives and opinions much more effectively, and communicate better, when we frame it in the context of story.  We also talk about how stories can shape our faith journey and our theology way more effectively than any academic, theological argument, because we can all connect over story. She reminds us that the best communicators are the best listeners, and how education allied your own story can make you a very communicator on a topic - but it begins with story. And we end by talking about why the Jesus story is so compelling. 

In this episode Elle Rose returns to talk about being gray ace, demisexual and panromantic. Elle talks about what these are, what they mean and her own experience of self-discovery as she explored and named these core parts of her identity.  Elle talks about the challenges of acceptance of grays/demisexuals/panromantics both corporately and individually, sharing the challenges she faced accepting herself, as well as being accepted by others, and even by parts of the LGBTQ community, and the impact this can have on emotional and mental health. Elle's is a story of discovering her true identity and finding peace with herself, and is one which will give hope to other grays. And for non-grays it will help understanding what living gray, demisexual and panromantic means, and allow us to be better allies. 

**Trigger Warning: Domestic abuse, child abuse.** Today I'm joined by author and mental health activist Joe Potosi. Joe courageously shares his story of childhood trauma and abuse, growing up in a broken home - and how this impacted him and his emotional & mental health.  Joe shares how he learned surviving does not mean forgetting; instead it means living and not allowing those who have abused us to live rent free in our heads. Joe's is a story of tenacity, resilience, introspection, redemption and forgiveness, and ultimately triumph over these hardships. In spite of all that Joe endured, after the dust settled he was still standing and was able to rebuild his life again - and use his experiences to help others.

Today I'm joined by activist, artist and creator Elle Rose. In this episode Elle tells her story of living with ADHD, (DPRD Depersonalisation Derealisation Disorder) and depression. We explore in more depth what DPRD is, and what it's like to live with this rarely-discussed condition. Elle also courageously shares the challenges she had in understanding this for herself, accepting herself and trying to convince both her own family and even medical professionals of this condition - and how this impacted her own emotional health. We discuss the challenges of finding a diagnosis for mental health conditions and how important and helpful it can be. We also explore just how much ignorance and stigma still exists around mental health, and Ellen shares her own experiences of how even the medical profession and medical system in the US has been so unhelpful - and explains how those with mental health conditions need to push for becoming advocates for ourselves, do our own research, and be partners in our own treatm

Today's guest is Rev Dr Shannon Polk. Shannon is thought leader on the topics of race, gender, class, and faith, as well and as doing work to to develop leadership training programs for women and people of color. In this episode Shannon shares her own deeply challenging and powerful experiences of systemic racism, starting right the way from childhood, and shares a powerful story of how her white husband encountered and began to understand the systems of racism and white supremacy.  We also discuss the work Shannon does to change cultures of systemic racism in the workplace, and the challenges she encounters in doing this work - and what it takes to create a culture without systemic racism. We talk about the true cost of doing the work of learning and unlearning in regards to systemic racism, just how important this work is - and how white people can begin to do this work wherever they are. For white people especially this will be a discomforting episode - but it has a message we all need to hear. 

Today I'm joined by my friend, activist and writer Sierra Nichole, co-founder of Ezer Rising. In this episode - recorded pre-pandemic - Sierra shares her deconstruction story, from her beginnings and upbringing inn evangelicalism through progressive Christianity and beyond, in a short space of time. Sierra also shares honestly about the abuse she suffered from fundamentalist progressive Christianity, and how exclusive and divisive this can be. We talk about what fundamentalism is, and the difference between a healthy progressive faith and a fundamentalist one. Sierra also talks about her own journey to become LGBTQ affirming, and what she learned about being an ally, doing the work of learning and unlearning beliefs, and how we need to be aware of and unlearn our own inbuilt biases.  Sierra also discusses the importance and responsibility of having a platform, and how we need to use our platforms to amplify and lift up others voices, in particular the voices of the marginalised and oppressed, and how she pl

This week my friend Alexander Shaia returns to the podcast to talk about the spiritual journey in the context of the pandemic. We explore how and why the world will never be same, the sacred grieving we're all going through, the and concept of moving from womb to tomb. Alexander shares wisdom about darkness and the womb as the birthplace of new life, new growth and transformation - and how this can be true for all of us. He talks about how this metaphor is giving him hope, even in the midst of the struggles and challenges and the pandemic, and how this will change us in way we don't even know yet.  This episode is both a challenging and hopeful message we all need to hear right now.

My beloved friend Jessica Kantrowitz joins me on the podcast today to celebrate and talk about her new book, "The Long Night: Poems & Stories To Help You Through Depression".  Jessica shares her story of living with depression, how it impacted the course of her life.She shares vulnerably and honestly about the challenges of depression and how she learned practices and set boundaries which allowed her to be emotionally healthy.  Jessica also shares about how her journey with depression impacted her spiritual journey and her creative journey, and how writing in general, and in particular writing this book, has been important for her healing and emotional health. Finally, Jessica shares some practical tips, wisdom and encouragement for all suffering with depression and anxiety - and gives us hope from her own experience, of how 'the long night' doesn't last forever, and there is hope and new life on the other side of depression. ***** 'The Long Night: Readings & Stories To Help You Through Depressio

Today KJ Ramsey returns to the show to talk about her new book "This Too Shall Last". KJ shares a bit about her story of chronic illness, spiritual abuse and how she found God in the midst of her suffering. KJ shares with great honesty about the struggle for the wait for a diagnosis, the shame she felt from those who doubted her and having to prove, and how this impacted her faith journey. She talks about how this taught her how to surrender, how to to the wilderness again and again and be vulnerable with God - and how there she encountered a God who had been vulnerable on her behalf. This is a powerful, challenging, and hopeful story, a story of finding God in the midst of still unresolved suffering - a God who suffers in us and with us. 

Today I'm delighted to welcome certified grief recovery specialist and author Shelby Forsythia to the show. We continue our examination of grief by both sharing our grief stories, and Shelby explores the lessons she learned about grief, both through her own experience of losing a parent and in training as a grief counsellor/specialist.  Shelby unpacks the idea of grief as a human experience, rather than a force we try to fight against, and unpacks the truth of how we all grieve in our own unique way. We also discuss how unacknowledged grief can impact us individually, culturally - and politically. She shares the core truth of how we can give ourselves permission to grieve - to allow ourselves to experience grief in the way we need to, how this can be liberating and allow us to heal and live with our grief, seeing grief almost as a rite of passage rather than a heavy weight to carry.   

Today we resume our series on grief. In an episode recorded just before the pandemic hit, therapist and author Aundi Kolber and I discuss grief from a therapeutic perspective. Aundi has a unique perspective both as a therapist, as as someone who has experienced grief and loss in her own life.  Aundi and I discuss why it's important to feel our grief, but why it's also important to not let ourselves get overwhelmed, and move out of the grief when we need to. Aundi talks about what she believes lies the heart of grief, and what healthy grieving can allow us to do. She shares her experience and expertise in guiding us how to grieve well and process our emotions and loss in a way which frees us from it power and allows us to move forward with our lives after loss.  Although we recorded this pre-pandemic, it now feels more relevant than ever, and Aundi has immense knowledge, wisdom and experience in grief and trauma, which we all need right now. 

Today my friend, author and podcaster Mike McHargue joins me on the show to discuss his new book 'You Are a Miracle (and a Pain in the Ass)', and our emotional responses to the current pandemic.  Mike and I discuss the collective grief we're all experiencing and the importance of taking care of our emotional health in the midst of this pandemic, the science behind it, the consequences of not doing it - and the steps we can take to be present in our own lives and emotions right now. Mike then shares very honestly the story behind the book, the trauma of his heart condition which impacted not just his physical health but his finances and emotional health, as well as the grief of losing a beloved friends, the anxiety and panic attacks he experienced - and the changes he had to make to get himself physically, mentally and emotionally healthy again.  He also unpacks some truths he discovered about ancient survival mechanisms still impact us now, how our environment impacts our behaviour way more than he realise

Today it's the 200th episode of the podcast, and to celebrate my beloved friend and former guest Becky Castle Miller interviews me!  We discuss all sorts of things, with some challenging and honest questions like  - What do I believe & the role of Jesus in my life - The unhealthiest point in my personal journey, how I got to the healthiest...and the bits in-between. - Why and how did I start the podcast, and my all-time favourite guests. And on a lighter note, there's a few lighting rounds involving Doctor Who (obviously), favourite books, favourite kind of tea, and more.  This episode was such a joy, and I'm so grateful to Becky for asking such great questions, and to all of you for listening every week, you make this all possible.  Onwards...   

Today Maria French and Barry Taylor of H&Co join me to discuss the wider impact of the global pandemic on each of us individually, as well as corporately. We explore the impact it's already having, on society and in our interactions and relationships - and the challenge of loneliness and solitude. We then move into a deeper discussion on the impact on the wider church, on how we have spiritual community and the use of technology, both in church and in our culture, and why things have changed forever - and won't go back. Finally we examine the potential impact on people's own spiritual and personal journeys, the opportunities this could bring, and our grounds for hope in this difficult period for us all.  This was an insightful and eye-opening conversation, Maria and Barry both have expert philosophical, cultural and theological insight and help unpack our experiences of the pandemic and it's potential impact in a way which both challenges and inspires.  Check out their work at handcogroup.com. 

Today I'm joined again by life coach Felicity Morse. Together we discuss our emotional and trauma response to COVID19, the impact it can have on our well being, and practical steps to help our emotional health during lockdown. Felicity shares her own struggles, and steps she's taking, and some of the emotional challenges we might face - and outlines some healthy and unhealthy responses to this. Felicity reminds us how we're all unique, and how we all might be responding to the pandemic in our own unique ways, that all of these are acceptable. She reminds us to have grace with ourselves and not put massive expectations for ourselves right now, and outlines some basic principles and practical steps of self-love and self-care we can all take that can centre us and help us be fully present, however we are reacting and responding. 

**Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault, Sexual Harassment & Domestic Abuse** Today, Mia Leigh Renna joins me to share her heartbreaking story of sexual abuse, domestic abuse and recovery - and the grief we experience when we are forced to leave an old life behind and begin again. She also highlights how little support there is for military women who have suffered abuse, both within and outside the structures she had known. Mia shares how she had to rediscover her true identity and create a new life for herself, acknowledging what had been and receiving support to find healing, but choosing to be free of its power. This was recorded before the current pandemic, but feels more relevant than ever. It's a story of a different kind of grief - the kind of grief all of us are carrying right now, of a life we've had to leave behind. 

Today, pastor, writer and activist Gricel Medina joins me for a special Good Friday reflection. Together we explore our experiences of the pandemic, and we discuss the collective grief we are all carrying.  Gricel shares her own experiences as a pastor right now, and we also discuss the long term impact of the pandemic, how the world has changed - and why we can't go back.  Then we go into more depth about our communal grief, how we can confront this in the context of the death and resurrection of Jesus. How Jesus chose to face and feel his pain, the significance of Jesus resurrecting with all his scars, rather than without them, and how important it is for our freedom and new life beyond the pandemic, as we process our collective grief.

This week my friend, therapist, qualified pastor & podcaster Jennifer Dawn Watts joins me to explore the benefits of 12 steps when used in the context of spiritual community, and uses her experience as a therapist to share advice and practical wisdom about managing our mental and emotional health during the pandemic.  Jennifer shares her own experiences in 12 step spiritual community, and why she believes this model is increasingly beneficial in the world we're living in. We talk about how the 12 step process can be beneficial for those going through a faith deconstruction or dealing with trauma, and how this model can help many of us in the circumstances we're all faced with right now. Then Jennifer talks about living in the reality of the pandemic, her own experience, how these circumstances can impact our mental health. She shares some very simple, practical steps we can all take to ensure we're acknowledging our collective and individual trauma, but also able to free ourselves of its power, and take