My Book Of Mormon

Ezra Booth has caused a public image problem by publishing a bunch of anti-mormon letters in the local newspapers. Joseph decides to solve this by sending out his followers to get more followers. Newel K. Whitney is called to be a bishop! It's a bit different than Edward Partridge, who is bishop over all the money and the belongings. Newel is mostly keeping the meeting minutes? Joseph heavily implies that everyone should keep a journal, which is a problem since apparently general authorities kinda don't. Methinks section 72 is the genesis of modern day recommends... Be advised that Jim has watched every episode of The Bachelor this season. Read the story of one woman married to seven brothers here in both Matthew and Luke. Catherine of Alexandria was a Catholic saint who was aces at converting people to Christianity. Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Catherine C Podcastriarchal music

Bryce is going on a road trip! Drop him a line at nakedmormonism@gmail.com if you live near a major Mormon historical site. He'd love to meet you! Chapter 69 is a tangible revelation with a measurable result, and measurable results were achieved!!!!! Oliver Cowdery needs a chaperone on his trip to Zion while holding all of the church's money and revelations, John Whitmer is now designated as gopher/church historian. Chapter 70 is all about giving your excess to the bishop's church, kind of, but in reality we aren't quite sure what it's saying. #equality Newel K Whitney becomes a bishop in basically the next chapter. Priestcraft is mentioned in the Book of Mormon, but since David didn't know about it, I didn't know about it.   Drink count - 7, or about one beer Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Support the show by becoming a patron at Patreon.com/mymookofmormonpodcast

Marie goes to church for the first time in years and makes her friend Marissa experience the adventure with her.  Then there is ice cream. Learn more about the Pussyhat at https://www.pussyhatproject.com/ Smash the Patriarchy decals can be purchased on Etsy from SlapYourLlama Knitpicks is one of the pillars of the knitting community and where I buy most of my non-independent yarn. Find them at www.Knitpicks.com, unless you're from Scotland, because they don't ship to Scotland.  Douglas Adams was a brilliant writer who left us too soon. Read about his amazing stories at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douglas_Adams Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com

Hey everyone, this is Marie. Starting next week Bryce and I are going to start posting bonus Patron-only episodes over at Patreon.com/mybookofmormonpodcast. This is our first one, and I'm putting it here on the main feed so you can get a taste of whatever is it we're about to start doing. We'll be talking about whatever Mormonese topic strikes our fancy, and we'll be a bit more... raw about it. While the regular show is typically rated G, or sometimes PG if adultery gets mentioned, today's is PG-13. Bryce drops one f-bomb, and we all know you can't talk about  family structure without talking about sexual orientation, gender, and heternormative culture. Hang onto your hats - the bonus episode is about to begin. Read along at: The Family: A Proclamation to the World The Naked I is a play by Tobias Davis. Check out his work at https://tobiaskdavis.com/plays/

Use the new search function when reading along with us at www.JoelAKuhn.com/dc-compare! Is there an immortal beings club that meets every couple of hundred years? Joseph revelates himself into a feedback loop w/r/t the bishopric. Four of Joe's buddies get revelations, then Joe tells us all about how power structures work in the church. Are revelations personal, or are we mouthpieces of god if we feel good about it whatever we're saying? Marie and Bryce practice their "smooth" voices. The Simple Dog head tilt is a reference to the comic Hyperbole and a Half Wikipedia Links: Orson Hyde Luke S. Johnson Lyman E. Johnson William E. McLellin Lehi's family tree is delightfully non-specific. Check it out on the LDS main site. https://www.lds.org/new-era/2004/01/lehis-family-tree?lang=eng Opening Arguments is a highly entertaining and informative legal podcast that discusses (among many other things) immunity from prosecution. Give 'em a listen at http://openargs.com/. Drink Count - 3, so why even bother? Support the

In today's episode of victim-blaming, it's still always your fault. Ezra Booth's anti-Mormon writings have begun appearing in local newspapers! Trust in Joseph anyway, because REASONS. Marie asserts her complete lack of humility, Bryce experiences the spirit of god when listening to heavy metal. Read the LDS churches’ explanation about D&C revisions/adjustments at https://www.lds.org/scriptures/adjustments?lang=eng Foundation Beyond Belief https://foundationbeyondbelief.org/ Drink count - 6 (or barely one beer) Find everything you've ever wanted to know about the show over at www.mybookofmormonpodcast.com Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Todd and Madeline Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

We learn how to pray without learning many, if any, specifics of how to pray. William McLellin hands us a PRIME example to prove Joseph's prophetic powers by asking for answers to five questions without telling Joseph what those questions were. Joseph gives the most vague of vague answers, Williams tells everyone his questions were answered, and we *never find out what the questions were*. Listen to Bryce's trilogy on Mark Hofmann here. Foolish Virgins are explained here. For Thine Is The Kingdom is a hymn found in the Baptist Hymnal 1991 #659 Drink count - 10, or a little over one beer Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Bobby M. Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

Edward Partridge gets micromanaged, Isaac Morley is forgiven, Kirtland will be a thing for five more years (false!), Sidney Gilbert can keep his store, God hates Babylon, and Ezra Booth needs to STFU. Now get back to packing! Click here to read about Ezra Booth Click here to read about Isaac Morley Drink count - 20, or around three beers Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Craig P. Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

Sex, Money, and Zombies, as told by Joseph Smith's Twitter Feed "Totes found #Zion! Come 2 Missouri ASAP. #KirtlandRevelation" "Everyone 2 #Zion! (not whoremongers, scorcerers, adulterers) #PromisedLand  monogamy4life " "Buy ur land in #Zion 2 b #blessed." "If ur wicked God will use unquenchable fire. SAD. #destroyed #smite" "Send ur money to #Zion if u want eternal salvation. #reward #afterlife" "1st Res. be a twinkle of an eye, live in ur prime! #notzombies" "#foolishvirgins JUST SAY NO" "S. Rigdon bad at plat of Zion, god wants do-over." "CONDEMN CONDEMN CONDEMN #apostate" Drink count - 22, or about 3 beers 99% Invisible is an amazing podcast that did an episode on why Salt Lake City's street grid is so delightfully unique. Give it a listen at http://99percentinvisible.org/episode/plat-of-zion/ Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing

Should we do a Mormon Awful Movies? Which host on NPR Politics Podcast is Mormon? I didn't have time to go back and find out. 62: Joseph phones it in with a quick revelation to some of his peeps who happened to walk by, because they get to keep doing what they're doing while his inner circle remains destined to travel upon cursed waters. 63: God is in a bad mood and will smack you down if you're bad. Also, you shouldn't need a sign/tangible proof to believe in god, because you'll only get a sign if you already believe.  Drink count - 12, or heading towards most of two beers Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Dean S (the Canadian) Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

In the most hydrating revelation yet, Joseph has a boating accident. Here's hoping you don't drown from imperfect faith! It's the episode where Bryce and Marie are unable to remember what verse they're on. Alan Watts - The Earth is "People-ing" The Pink Papaya Shop created a whole series of watercolors called "The Wives of Joseph Smith" Support HereticWoman's show, Beyond The Trailer Park, at https://www.patreon.com/BeyondtheTrailerPark Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: HereticWoman Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

Poor Edward Partridge can't catch a break, what with all the micromanagement. Joseph, Oliver, and Sidney (Rigdon) are on their way to Cincinnati, while his other buddies are sent to St. Louis. They're all instructed to make haste while not speedily returning, and somehow God's jewels are involved. Drink count - 6, or a little less than a beer. Eth count - 4 The Pink Papaya Shop created a whole series of watercolors called The Wives of Joseph Smith Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Bevin F Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

Jim teaches us the hierarchical structure of the church because Marie doesn't know what a General Authority is, and be advised that Duke of Earl Grey is now the show's General Authority (woo hoo!). Joseph Smith repeats a semblance of the 10 commandments, and really that's it. Turns out going to the Bishop to confess is a Thing that happens, and apparently we're supposed to be happy when we're fasting. It's bad to be wasteful and don't be a jerk, and be an environmentalist. Got questions? Scoot, god doesn't have time for them. Job is a man/chapter in the Bible.  I swear I learned a song in Sunday School that used the verse "love the lord thy god with all they heart", but I couldn't find one with a familiar tune, so really all I did was royally mess up my YouTube video recommendations. I recommend listening to anything from Chvrches, they're pretty cool, and you can say "I'm listening to Chvrch music!" Drink count - 10, or a bit over one beer Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Support the

Ask not what the church can do for you, but what you can do for your church. If you need a revelation from god to tell you what to do, woe betide you, for you are slothful. For shame! Cross your fingers that all new revelations supersede previous ones, so we all hope that this one no longer matters because Joseph Smith is hypocritical all over the place. Drink count - 13, plus one extra drink for tomfoolery in revelatory contradictions, and one extra drink for "and bring to pass" Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Nathaniel B Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length  

Patriarchal blessings - how do they work? Punctuation and verse allocation - why don't they work? Heaven - HOW DOES THAT WORK? Joseph tells the believers to throw a party with the rich and educated on the VIP list, because who needs consistency with the Book of Mormon when Zion has been found? Edward Partridge is treated like a toddler for (apparently) making bad decisions, but that's okay, he's still the Bishop in charge of the Bishop's Storehouse. Drink Count - 12, or a bit over one beer. Sidney Rigdon – The Forgotten Hero of Mormonism https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uu08PNbWGzc Zion Temple Lot, conveniently temple free! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temple_Lot Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare Support show by becoming a Patron at Patreon.com/mybookofmormonpodcast Show dedication and podcastriarchal blessing – Lucy the Valiant Lucy (the Valiant) Pevensie is the youngest of the Pevensie siblings in C.S. Lewis' series The Chronicles of Narnia. Got a comment/question/concern? You know you do. Ema

First - don't do drugs unless you're in a religious business meeting. Second, new writer or Oliver Cowdry? You decide. Much parentheses, very comma, so administration, wow. Who cares, now we know where Zion is! It's on the other side of the courthouse in the vacant lot, btw. Praise Heavenly Father. Drink count - 6, or about 1 beer Go here to check out episode 135 https://mybookofmormonpodcast.com/2016/11/19/135/ Read all of these on your work computer to make your next performance review REALLY interesting! http://www.mormonthink.com/files/restoration-sacred-mushroom.pdf https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2529415/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Datura http://www.maripoisoncenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/CTR-Datura-Plant-Poisoning.pdf Sidney Rigdon - The Forgotten Hero of Mormonism https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uu08PNbWGzc Wollmeise is a kind of high quality yarn, the kind that would make you do dishes when it wasn't your turn if you knew your partner would buy you some in exchange for dish d

If you leave the church you can get back all the money you donated to it. Caveat, this only works if your name is Ezra Thayre. Poor-shaming! Drink count - 11, or about one beer Follow the hyperlinks below to learn more about what we're referencing! John Oliver transforms our lives with Multi-Level Marketing  Good Mythical Morning is a daily comedy show on YouTube  Creflo Dollar is an extremely wealthy televangelist   Read along with us at JoelAKuhn.com/dc-compare Become a Patron at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Podcastriarchal blessing music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit Show dedication and podcastriarchal blessing: George G  

In the aftermath of the LDS Church's first major business meeting Joseph Smith continues to solve short-term problems by sending everyone to Missouri. We spend the first half of the episode talking about why the entire country was moving to Missouri because of the absolutely horrid Indian Removal Act just put into place by President Jackson. The Mormons didn't do anything to influence or support this act! They sure do benefit from it though (in the short-term, at least). Read about the Indian Removal Act and Andrew Jackson's positive spin: https://www.loc.gov/rr/program/bib/ourdocs/Indian.html Andrew Jackson, America's 7th President: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Jackson Presidential is a brilliant podcast by Lillian Cunningham at the Washington Post, so wander on over and listen all about Andrew Jackson: https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/business/presidential-podcast/ Drink count - 10, or about a beer and a half, but really, just drink 10 beers! Read along with us at JoelAKuhn.com/dc-compare

The first ever Big Important Business Meeting of the newly formed church has concluded. Joseph revelates 33 of his VIPs right out into the wilderness (Missouri), and lets us know that another Big Important Business Meeting will happen out there, eventually, when they get around to it. Rejoice, they're about to take the land of their inheritence from the people who have lived on the promised land for that last millenia! Wait, perhaps rejoicing in the future takeover of Native American lands shouldn't be rejoiced about? Oh man, American history is ugly AF. Drink count - 11 (or about a beer and half) Edson Fuller and his religiously enthusiastic buddies are described in detail at https://history.lds.org/article/doctrine-and-covenants-religious-enthusiasm?lang=eng Curious about any of the men listed in this chapter? Head over to these two websites and enter in their name: lds.org josephsmithpapers.org Symonds Ryder's gravestone is found at http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=10388814 Read al

David Michael returns! We learn that if you're supposed to give everything to the church, and if you're bad then you lose access to all the stuff you gave away. So... be good? Drink count - 2 (which is good, because we were very hungover) Andrew Torrez is a wonderfully good sport and can be heard on Opening Arguments Podcast at openargs.com Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare