My Book Of Mormon

Read along with us at CompareDandC.com Joseph channels John Chapter 1 to tell us God is always with us, then admonishes his BFFs and their families to toe the line (again). Patron Bonus Episode: Marie and Bryce Go to Church Drink count - 12 Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Support Bryce’s show at Patreon.com/NakedMormonism Podcastriarchal Blessing: Dr. Faustus Podcastriarchal Music: Our Happy Life, by Maps and Transit (edited for length)

Act 1: Sexual Purity Act 2: Bryce quizzes Marie on Mormon trivia Many thanks to Doug at Squatter's in downtown Salt Lake City for giving us a wonderful place to host our very first live show.

Live show on July 29, 7p doors, 8p start at Squatters in Salt Lake City The apocrypha totes doesn't matter, and Marie can't pronounce anything in Wikipedia. Frederick G Williams joins the United Firm, so basically he get's initiated into the super-inner-circle. Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Sunstone Symposium Drink count - 3 (don't even bother, it's not enough to even crack open the beer) Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Support Bryce's show at Patreon.com/NakedMormonism Podcastriarchal Blessing: Alice Podcastriarchal Music: Our Happy Life, by Maps and Transit (edited for length)

Live show, July 29, 2017 at Squatter's in Salt Lake City. Gathering begins at 7pm, show at 8pm. Joseph solved a power grab attempt by Rigdon by making Ridgon, Frederick G Williams, and Joseph "equal". Being a Gentile or a Jew is very confusing. Joseph revelates the life savings away from the only named woman in the D&C that's not his wife. Vienna Jacques Drink count - 16, or about a beer and a half Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Kent M Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

The folklore is that this was given because Joseph and his buddies were chewing tobacco in the room above the kitchen and it was dripping down onto Emma Smith below. It's Word of Wisdom time!!! The Millerites Watch Ke$ha brush her teeth with a bottle of jack  The Zion Curtain has fallen Read what Bryce was reading here Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Drink count - 7, plus as many as the spirit compels you to consume Patron Bonus Episode: Marie talks with missionaries about the Word of Wisdom

Are you fasting??? You should be. Proselytize all the time!!! If you aren't seeking god, then you are hosed. Eclipse, earthquake, stars will be knocked out of orbit, bad storms with big waves, women are evil. Skip to verse 99 for useful information about resurrections, which isn't at all helpful for the upbuilding of Zion, but whatever, get over it. Marie is going to die at the 7th trumpet. Check out Preston's project at MoHos. Wrath Wines Vineyard Patron bonus episode: Marie meets missionaries!!!! Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Emerson Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

Live show: July 29, 7pm at Squatter's in Salt Lake City Zion gets built up by... honestly, we're not sure. God is everywhere, god is light, god will fill you. The earth shall die, it will be born again, and the righteous will inherit it. Kirtland = Outer Darkness. Once you die you'll understand all this, so don't worry about understanding it now. 16 drinks + 1 shot for For, For, so about three full beverages. Inara Serra is a character from my favorite TV show of all time, Firefly.  Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Clan FiberEnabler Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

Read along with us at JoelAKuhn.com/dc-compare First, a discussion of an apologist view of why chapter 84 isn't a false prophesy. Second, Joseph predicts a civil war, as well as a plague and an earthquake. Does this make him a prophet? Ehhhhhh........ probably not. Read every apologetic Mormon argument ever at FairMormon.com Read listener Scott's commentary on Chapter 84 at http://3scriptures.com/ Fair Mormon explanation of Joseph's temple revelation from chapter 84 Drink count - 6 Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast

Joseph's new scribe has a completely different tone, and it's boring. The United Firm is kinda sorta failing at managing money on account of them never having enough money. If you don't give your properties/monies to the church then you will be cut off from heaven. It's the episode where Babylon is a total whore. Drink count – 11, or about a beer and a half Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Jack M. Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

Live show at Squatters Pub in SLC at 7pm on Saturday, July 29, 2017. Check the Facebook page for more details as it comes available. Your job as a high priest is to recruit more people. True believers are are not bound by sin will have superpowers! Bryce was an idiot and got bitten by a snake. The gospel applies to everyone from Sept. 22, 1832 forward!!! As you go out on your missions, go without food or supplies because God will make you invincible and always provided for. Make sure you leave your money behind. While on your mission, if you find a newer missionary or a helper, give them all your grunt work. Drink count – 12, or about 2 beers Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com  

Viva la priesthood! Women not invited. Basically an influx of new members are increasing the need for middle management. Additionally, here are some specific revelations included that didn't come true or are contradictory. 1. The new city of Zion will be built in the Temple Lot. 2. It will happen in this generation (the 1832 generation). 3. No one will pollute Jackson County. Drink count – 5, or a little less than one beer Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Mindy M Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

July 29, 2017 eveningish, meet up with us at Squatter's Pub in Salt Lake City. We'll probably record a live episode and would love to have you there!! Jesse Gause is called to be a high counselor to Joseph Smith in his very own revelation, except then history is rewritten to make it be a revelation for Frederick G Williams. Joseph's inner circle is back, now with nicknames! Everyone is exceedingly sinful/steadfastly good. Go get more converts, especially ones with money. Zion needs to pretty itself up. It's the episode where Marie and Bryce rant about the Prosperity Doctrine. Jesse Gause Frederick G Williams  Check out the Symonds Ryder name-spelling controversy here. Jim and Tammy Bakker were televangelists back in the late 1980's.  Lwaxana Troi is a character in Star Trek: The Next Generation and Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. Drink count – 16, or about two and a half beers Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast D

Help us make the 1876 D&C into something usable! Email Joel Kuhn at dccompare@gmail.com to help with the proofreading. Thanks! The poor are established (built up, not created) via the United Firm. This is a fancy way to say the church is setting up a welfare system for members of the church. Joseph revelates himself into a nickname, and maybe a city? You must be equal here on earth to get equal things in heaven (except some people are MORE equal). If you want to get into heaven make sure you're doing all the things you're  supposed to down here. Joseph and his peeps get code names. CODE NAMES (omg). Adam-on-diamon is a place where the big wigs give their keys to Jesus via Adam, who will usher in the end times. Jared Carter Stephen Burnett Eden Smith Hearts Made Glad, by LaMar Peterson - An book by and LDS historian that asserted Joseph Smith's propensity to alter his mind. A lot. Welfare Square Dante's Inferno God Awful Movies - The Burning Hell  Salt: A World History   Drink count - 12, or about two

We had such a deluge of astonishingly thorough and informative comments on Section 76 that we made a separate bonus episode just to review them. Thank you so much, everyone! Read all the comments here: D&C 76, Part 1 D&C 76, Part 2   There's a bonus patron-only episode that happens every week over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast! It's available to every patron, regardless of donation level. You can also snag some sweet, sweet swag, like drink coasters and pint glasses.

Let's get spiritual! Joseph answers our questions about the Book of Revelation (the bible one) by not answering anything. Read about the 1876 addition to the D&C here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctrine_and_Covenants#Sections_added_to_LDS_edition Christopher Walken was the Archangel Gabriel in the movie The Prophecy.  Rot your brain with tribulation fan-fiction by reading the Left Behind series.  Smoke count - 2 (or however much you need to get spiritual) Drink count – 3 Read along with us at JoelAKuhn.com/dc-compare Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Sean S Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

Study manual for Chapter 76 on the LDS site!  Telestial: HELL!!!! But temporary. Terrestrial: For good people who weren't Mormon when they died but haven't heard "the law" and weren't baptised Celestial: Double plus awesome Outer Darkness: Not a thing that exists (yet) The Laser Interferometer Gravitational-Wave Observatory (LIGO) is a large-scale physics experiment and observatory to detect cosmic gravitational waves and to develop gravitational-wave observations as an astronomical tool. Esaias is Isaiah!  Mark Twain called reading The Book of Mormon "chlorform in print"  Drink count  - 4 Read along with us at JoelAKuhn.com/dc-compare Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Mindy Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

What happens to us when you die? Resurrection 1 - good people. Resurrection 2 - bad people. Lucifer is bad and is now in hell. Punctuation is terrible, almost as terrible as apostacy!! Marie and Bryce will be there, drinking coffee, ruling alongside Lucifer, and wondering about why their worm is dead. The good people (men) are of the Church of the Firstborn and become (men) gods. All ur stuff r belong to Christ. Christ is middle management to God, so all ur stuff r belong to God. Drink count - 4 (so lame, do shots instead) Read along with us at JoelAKuhn.com/dc-compare Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Julie B. Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

CORRECTION: Cleveland was never the capital of Ohio. At this point in history it was Columbus. Have fun in sales! Everyone is a vineyard. It's a throwback to last June when everyone was being sent out to be like a trump unto the wilderness. Bryce almost has an aneursym because he wants to tell me all about these dudes who are about to do stuff in the church, but NO, NO SPOILERS. After you die you get to judge the people who treated you poorly!!! Check out this fine list of Wikipedia page links: William E McLellan - He wrote lots of journals  Luke Johnson - Brother of Lyman Johnson Orson Hyde - Used to be anti-Mormon, then converted when his pastor, Sidney Rigdon joined up with Joseph Smith  Samuel Smith - Joseph Smith's younger brother Lyman Johnson - Brother of Luke Johnson Orson Pratt - Joined the same time as his brother, Parley Pratt  Asa Dodds - Just a dude.  Calves Wilson - "Little else is known about him"  Major Ashley - From Massachusetts! Burr Riggs - Known for frothing at the mouth and getting reve

Marie takes a week off because ouch ouch root canals ouch ouch. Be advised the chapter 74 *is* a time jump back to 1830, it wasn't a misprint last week.  Regular shows will return next week!

Read along with us at Joelakuhn.com/dc-compare The PR problem caused by Ezra Booth's anti-Mormon shenanigans have died down, so now it's time to return to what you were doing. Joseph and Sidney are to go back to translating the bible. Then we jump back in time to 1830 to talk about baptism (sort of). Did you know that circumcision and baptism are kinda sorta related? Bring on the Baptist perspective! Drink count - 5, or barely a beer if you take huge swigs Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Jefferson D Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length