Rock Talk: A Guide To The Films Of Dwayne Johnson

2005’s Be Cool. It’s just like Pulp Fiction – except everybody is much older and the writing isn’t as good! Dwayne Johnson plays Vince Vaughn’s gay bodyguard who dreams of being a big-time actor. If you like dated music references and loud mouth chewing, THIS MOVIE IS FOR YOU. It has it all: Travolta plastic surgery, Andre 3000, a speech about cultural appropriation, and DJ in a full-on cowboy outfit. Oh, and don’t ask us to explain the plot of this movie. It can’t be done. It’s crazy. It’s weird. It’s very 2005. It’s Be Cool. Also!! New Rampage contest!! Red Notice gets a release date!! DJ buys his dad a Cadillac!! Please remember to rate/review/share the show! If you know a jabroni in your life who doesn’t listen, are you really doing your job?

THE TITAN GAMES. Not much is known about this future athletic-based reality show except that The Rock is behind it. That’s enough for us! Join us on this week’s mini-episode as the jabronis apply on-air. We’ll answer some very very specific question like: Do you parkour? Can you swim? What’s the most harrowing trauma you’ve ever been through? Learn more about Charlie and Jordan than you ever thought you bargained for on the newest episode of Rock Talk!

EPISODE 21 IS HERE!! After a long wait, (sorry everyone) the jabronis discuss what might be the MOST EPIC movie that has ever been put to film. Furious 7 is a movie that starts at a 10 and ONLY GOES UP FROM THERE. This movie brings a few new faces into the fold (Statham! Kurt Russell!) but is quintessential FAST FARE. We have skydiving cars, building jumps, exploding helicopters AND IT GETS CRAZIER. Oh, also there are butts. Lots of butts. Get used to it. Rampage release date moves to April 13!! DJ graciously accepts his Baywatch razzie!! The Rock has a baby health scare!! If you haven’t yet, please leave an iTunes review! It’s the number one thing you can do to help the jabronis out.

Have you ever wondered what The Rock would look like as a blonde-haired white man? THEN THIS MOVIE IS FOR YOU. Maalik Simmons makes his return to Rock Talk to discuss DJ's first foray into voice acting with the 2009 animated SPANISH movie Planet 51! The Rock plays Chuck Baker, an astronaut that crash lands on an alien planet that is exclusively populated by 1950s little green men. We have so many questions. Namely, DOES ALIEN HITLER EXIST?? Also!! Jumanji continues its winning streak!! A musical based on DJ's life opens in London!! David Leitch in talks to direct Hobbs/Shaw spinoff!! Rock Talk is one of Buzzfeed's Podcasts to Listen To in 2018!! Thanks for nominating us! Please remember to rate and review the show! And hey, while you're at it, share it with a loved one this Valentine's season. You'll be glad you did.

“Amputee Dwayne Johnson vs. A Very Tall Building” “DJ Die Hard” “The Most Dwayne Johnson Movie Ever” These are all descriptions seen on Twitter for this summer’s Skyscraper. AND WE COULDN’T AGREE MORE. The jabronis dissect every second of the first Skyscraper trailer that debuted during the Super Bowl. It looks like this one has all the hallmarks of an awesome The Rock movie: Two adorable kids, crazy stunts and vaguely Eastern European bad guys. WE. ARE. EXCITED. Maalik Simmons returns next week for DJ’s first animated movie Planet 51!

Dylan Erwin joins the jabronis this week to talk about 2014’s sword-and-sandals flick Hercules. If you like wisecracking soothsayers, an army of screamo band frontmen and beards made with testicle hair, THIS MOVIE IS FOR YOU. Seriously. There's a lot of beard-talk in this episode. You’ve been warned. Is Hercules truly a demigod or just a simple human mercenary? We’re not sure because WE COULDN’T TAKE OUR EYES OFF THAT BEARD. We break it all down on this week's episode of Rock Talk! Also!! Emily Blunt joins the cast of Disney’s Jungle Cruise!! Remember to review on iTunes and share the show with your friends! We all have that one weird friend who is obsessed with Dwayne Johnson. If you don’t, GUESS WHAT, BUB. IT’S YOU.

The jabronis came across a question on Reddit that required THEIR FULL ATTENTION. Which Dwayne Johnson character would make the best WWE wrestling match against The Rock? We may have gone overboard on this one. We break down every single character Dwayne Johnson has ever played and pitted them against The Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment. Would Roadblock be too strong? Would Hobbs be too skilled? Would Paul Doyle be too coked out? THE ANSWERS ARE ALL HERE, FOLKS. Plus! We announce the winner of the latest Rock Talk giveaway on this all-new mini-episode!

2005’s Doom, or, the only movie that sucks certified skunk taint. Look – they can’t all be winners but is there something strangely watchable about the one movie that Dwayne Johnson has admitted was a mistake? Possibly! There is SO much going on in this one but at the same time it’s brutally simple. Space marines are sent to mars to investigate strange happenings and hunt down alien zombies. GOT IT? Good. DJ’s first attempt at a video game movie is almost too true to the game on which it’s based. If you like watching someone else play a video game, THIS MOVIE IS FOR YOU. Also!! The Rock retweeted our cookie!! The Rock vs. Dwayne Johnson - who wins?? Jumanji is the highest grossing Christmas release ever!! UM, THE ROCK RETWEETED OUR COOKIE!!!!

EPISODE 17.5 IS HERE! Dwayne Johnson has never been nominated for an Academy Award. THINK ABOUT THAT FOR JUST ONE GOSH DARN SECOND. It’s a crime. But his participation at awards shows is something to be celebrated, so this week the jabronis are recapping the Golden Globes DJ STYLE. We break down what he wore (Brioni! Mont Blanc! Fancy!), his daughter’s role as Golden Globe’s ambassador and the prospect of an Oprah/Johnson presidential ticket on THE FANCIEST MINI-EPISODE EVER. ALSO! Rock Talk has seen a recent influx of Indonesian listeners so we want to extend a special welcome to all of our international fans!

EPISODE 17 IS HERE! Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle. The jabronis discuss the newest entry into The Rock’s filmography with returning guest jabroni Grace Aucella. FOR MONTHS, Charlie and Jordan were cautiously optimistic about this movie – but did it pay off? They tackle some of Jumanji’s most pressing questions, like: Are girl boners possible? What qualifies a movie as a “video game movie”? Why do movies get bedroom band posters so wrong? Also!! Dwayne Johnson 2024!! Jumanji is a success at the box office!! If you haven’t already, go back and listen to last week’s mini-episode discussion with our buds over at Nerdy Things Podcast! Give them a follow on Twitter @NerdyThingsPod!

This week we joined the hosts of Nerdy Things Podcast (http://nerdythingspod.libsyn.com) to discuss Dwayne Johnson's newest film - Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle. Scrub to 29:38 for the Jumanji discussion! We'll return to talk about the movie in greater detail next week with a special returning guest -- a Rock Talk all-star -- but until then, get our first thoughts on Seven Bucks Productions' first film since Baywatch. Is it a hit or miss? We'll let you know! Don't forget to check out and subscribe to Nerdy Things podcast: @Nerdythingspod http://nerdythingspod.com

2013’s Snitch. Or, the closest thing to a soap opera that Dwayne Johnson has ever done. Ever heard of it? Neither had we! Is this a diamond in the rough or a forgotten stinker? We aren’t sure but we do know that DJ is doing some A.C.T.I.N.G. in this movie. We’re seriously worried he’s going to pull a muscle. The Rock is opposite heavyweights like Susan Sarandon and Benjamin Bratt but why does this movie feel like an indie? If you like low-speed car chases, THIS MOVIE IS FOR YOU. Also, we might get off on a tangent about R. Kelly’s Trapped In The Closet. Also!! New baby girl for Dwayne Daddy Johnson Jingleheimer Schmidt!! Jumanji is the highest rated live-action DJ movie on Rotten Tomatoes!! The Rock is #2 in 2017’s Hollywood earnings rankings!!

On this week’s mini-episode of Rock Talk, Jordan and Charlie take their talents to South Beach to talk about HBO’s Ballers! Is this show anywhere douchey enough to be as compelling as Entourage or is it simply a knock-off? Here’s what we do know: The Rock drives fancy cars and wears even fancier suits. THE CHARM IS ON FULL DISPLAY AND WE ARE HERE FOR IT. Also, there might be a break in the space-time continuum of this show. Time will tell. Tune in for next week’s discussion of 2013’s Snitch!

The jabronis discuss 2013’s G.I. Joe: Retaliation, and it’s a doozy. This movie has ninjas, soldiers, an imposter president, Bruce Willis (for five minutes) and Channing Tatum (for six minutes). There are more characters here than you can shake a tungsten rod at. Is the plot convoluted? Of course. Is it worth your time? If your name is Jordan Rummel, nope. This is the most polarizing movie Charlie and Jordan have covered so far and you’re going to want to weigh in.

Race to Witch Mountain. This movie has *RACING* and *WITCHES* and *MOUNTAINS*!! ...except it really doesn't have any of those things. This Disney remake that nobody asked for features aliens, taxis and is probably a heavy-handed climate change allegory PROPAGATED BY THE RIGHT WING FAKE NEWS LIBERAL MEDIA. Okay, maybe not the last thing but we're keeping our minds open, sheeple. Also!! Dwayne Johnson article in Vice!! Blake Shelton (??) steals DJ's crown as Sexiest Man Alive!! New "Rampage" details!! As always, please rate/review/share the show! Do any of your friends like The Rock? OF COURSE THEY DO! So share the show, jabronis!

In these divisive times, we can all agree on one thing: Every movie would be better with The Rock in it. So the jabronis put some time and research into it and came up with their perfect dream roles for Dwayne Johnson. NOTHING IS OFF LIMITS. We're talking James Bond, Breaking Bad, Die Hard, Indiana Jones, Full House. It gets a little nuts. And yes, we got a little sidetracked by Scrappy Doo fanfiction. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.

Wait, this isn’t a Dwayne Johnson movie..? YOU BET YOUR SWEET JOCK-ASS IT ISN’T. We did a podswap for Halloween with the guys over at Whatcha Gonna Do, the podcast that puts Hulk Hogan movies under the microscope. We take a look at the Hulkster’s 1989 cinematic masterpiece “No Holds Barred” – they examine Rocky’s “Walking Tall”. And MY GAWD, we have questions. This single movie features a conference room full of scattered office chairs, a man telling a woman to “take a leak”, and a grown man pooping his pants. AND THAT’S JUST IN THE FIRST 20 MINUTES! Also!! Justin Lin is back, baby!! The Rock meets Stan Lee!! Even big tough football boys like Moana!! Check out Whatcha Gonna Do on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts.

LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT’S DWAYNE “THE ROCK” JOHNSON!! From “Bambi” to a Chicago-style monologue, DJ really illustrates what’s so magical about America’s longest-running TV comedy institution. Charlie and Jordan scrubbed through 20-plus years of sketches and monologues to bring you the best of DJ on Saturday Night Live. If you guys like clips, then HOO BOY this is your episode. PLUS: Next week, we’re crossing over with the guys at Whatcha Gonna Do, the podcast that puts Hulk Hogan’s movie career under the microscope. You could call them our podcast soulmates. They’ll be looking at “Walking Tall”, and we’ll bring you an episode about the Hulkster’s “No Holds Barred”. CAN YOU SMELL WHAT THE HULKSTER IS COOKIN’, BROTHER??

THE JABRONIS ARE BACK – AND THEY DON’T LIKE BULLIES. Rock Talk returns from a week off to break down what is perhaps the best comedy entry in the Johnson canon. (Johnson cannon might be my favorite new euphemism.) Jordan and Charlie discuss 2016’s Central Intelligence, a movie that answers some of life’s most puzzling questions like: What would Dwayne Johnson look like as a chubby, brace-faced 17-year old? Why is Jason Bateman so good at playing total douches? Are Kevin Hart and Dwayne Johnson the Devito/Schwarzenegger duo of our time? PLUS, WE GET TOTAL ROCK BUTT IN THIS MOVIE. Also!! DJ reveals his inspiration for Maui!! Hobbs v. Shaw has a release date!! ‘The Rock Test’ is the best way to protect yourself against workplace sexual harassment!! COMING SOON: A crossover episode with the guys over at the “Whatcha Gonna Do?” podcast. They are our podcast soul mates, taking a look at the short but colorful movie career of Hulk Hogan. In two weeks, we’ll be posting two episodes to the Rock Talk feed. The WGD gu

Welcome to the Buzzfeed-ification of Rock Talk! The jabronis do the Lord’s work this week and rank every movie they’ve covered so far. And yes, it’s still technically a mini-episode. PLUS! The return of Rock Talk Superlatives. The jabronis will return next week to discuss Central Intelligence! Remember to rate/review/share the show on iTunes, Stitcher or wherever you get our podcast! CHARLIE’S LIST 11. Baywatch 10. The Tooth Fairy 9. The Game Plan 8. Scorpion King 7. Get Smart 6. Gridiron Gang 5. Pain and Gain 4. Moana 3. The Rundown 2. Fast and Furious 6 1. Fast Five JORDAN’S LIST 11. Tooth Fairy 10. Baywatch 9. Scorpion King 8. Gridiron Gang 7. Get Smart 6. Moana 5. The Rundown 4. The Game Plan 3. Fast and Furious 6 2. Pain and Gain 1. Fast Five