Oh Crap I Love My Toddler... But Holy F*ck

The prospect of schools reopening is gradually dawning on us all, and with it comes the news of the potential restrictions which will be in place. As so many of the restrictions seem to greatly impact the level of socializing that children will be able to enjoy upon their return, I am currently fielding a large number of questions regarding homeschooling. In today’s episode, my aim is to address the questions that seem to be the most frequently asked.   It’s important to note that laws and rules regarding homeschooling will vary by, and in some cases within, states, so the information I offer here today is fairly general and you really need to check with a local homeschooler or homeschooling group to understand the specifics for your area. What I can share with you is the remarkable difference between the schooling we’ve all been doing for the last few months and actual homeschooling, some ideas regarding learning styles and curriculum, and some of the basic facts about homeschooling and unschooling. I can al

Jamie’s addressing one of the most frequently asked questions listeners and followers have for her: how does she balance everything and keep her life in order, especially as a single mom? Her answer is simple and two-fold: 1. it’s HARD, and 2. it’s a fool’s game to try to do everything at once. The parental balancing act is an art of setting a schedule and picking your battles.   In this episode, Jamie explains how our phones can dominate our already busy schedules if we’re not careful, debunks the myth of multitasking, and compares keeping our life in balance to, of all things, four pots on a stove. The Finer Details of This Episode:   What’s “uh-huh” parenting and why we absolutely need to avoid it. Establishing consistent phone time for yourself and being honest with your children about when you’ll need to do some scrolling. How airplane mode has become Jamie’s best friend. Why Jamie isn’t a fan of multitasking—and in fact has some pretty harsh things to say about it. What Jamie’s past experience as

You’ve got to face the facts: try as hard as you might, your kid is going to swear at some point, and when they do drop a big fat expletive it will probably be in the worst time and place. It’s going to be embarrassing, but it’s also a valuable moment that will help your kid understand what is or isn’t acceptable among certain crowds, while allowing you both to acknowledge the emotion beneath the swearing.   In this episode, Jamie discusses her approach to teaching Pascal about swearing and the impression it gives off and suggests how you can help your own children to understand the effect of bad—or rather, “strong”—words. The Finer Details of This Episode:   How Jamie’s son Pascal and his preschool class were exposed to swearing en masse—and what it taught them about the power of words. There are some parents who don’t care about swearing but of course, you need to set boundaries on where and when that happens.  Helping your little one understand that swearing can affect how others see them, and how Jami

Changes: it’s not just a David Bowie song, but something your kid is going to go through a lot of throughout their early years. And Jamie isn’t merely talking about bodily or behavioral changes but changes in routine, changes in circumstances, and changes in family. Something as simple as leaving the house in the morning can be enough to set your little one on edge, so we need to both help them understand these necessary—and occasionally unfortunate—shifts as well as make these transitions a little easier for them.   In this episode, Jamie discusses the significant changes your parenting style will go through as your little one becomes a slightly bigger one, explains how you can help your kid stay on top of these transitions, and suggests ways you can help your child get through the tougher life milestones. The Finer Details of This Episode:   Why Jamie’s new book has “toddler” in the title even though it deals more with the preschool age. How your style of parenting needs to shift in a fundamental way as

This episode marks two very special occasions for Oh, Crap! One is that Jamie is happy to bring you all her first interview conducted over Instagram livestream! The second is that her guest of honor is Dr. Kendra Becker. Kendra is an “integrated physician” operating out of Jamie’s own home state of Connecticut and specializes in holistic treatment of young patients and their parents. One of Jamie’s friends had recommended Kendra to her to help with perimenopause and the two quickly realized how well they gelled over how they choose to treat their patients and clients.   In this episode, Kendra explains how her style of treatment differs from—and has an edge over—mainstream Western medicine, breaks down how important biodiversity in our digestive tract is, and reveals what our poop can say about our health. The Finer Details of This Episode:   The genetic reason each and every one of us has a medical history even at the moment we’re born. The divisions in the medical community that led to naturopathy being

Some of you may not know this, but Jamie homeschools! (and no! Jamie doesn’t think everyone should homeschool and she’s not trying to convince you that you should!) Her son Pascal has been learning at home since he was still fairly young, and both he and Jamie have found to be this alternative mode of education not only better suited for him but engaging in a way that mainstream schooling isn’t always. She also knows that several inaccurate, outdated and even harmful perceptions of homeschooling have sprung up over the years and feels they really should be addressed before people pass judgment. In this episode, Jamie explains what led her to teach Pascal at home, relates some of the fascinating things he’s learned and how she’s aided his education, and addresses some commonly held criticisms and concerns about teaching your kids at home. The Finer Details of This Episode: Jamie explains why she thinks conventional teaching in a traditional school environment is still important. Why Jamie doesn’t think homes

The latest episode of Oh, Crap! is a follow-up to Jamie’s earlier installment on keeping kids safe (see episode 15!). Many listeners wanted to know how to most effectively speak to their children about sexual abuse and what precautions should be taken. Jamie doesn’t want to set off anybody’s anxiety, but these are important subjects we need to know inside and out so our kids can be safe out in the world. In this episode, Jamie discusses how to set boundaries with friends and family (and what reactions you should be on the alert for), explains which odd behaviors may be signs of sexual abuse, and wades through the turbulent waters of childhood slumber parties. The Finer Details of This Episode: Why it’s so vital you find a way to heal if you’re a parent who has survived sexual abuse in their past. The reason you should be forthright with your children (at a certain age) and not sugarcoat some of the world’s dangers. How to navigate the tricky space of dealing with an inappropriate—or even potentially inappr

Jamie and her friend recently came up with a plan to send their kids on a trip to the city on their own via the bus. To some parents, the idea of their teenage kids hopping on public transportation and jetting from the suburbs to the thick of downtown can be frightening, but Jamie wants to make sure Pascal and his friends develop the curiosity necessary to explore and learn as they get older and become more independent. She was also inspired by paleontologist Scott Sampson’s TEDx talk on the importance of raising children who are fascinated by the natural world and free to explore it at their own pace. In this episode, Jamie leads you through Scott’s TEDx talk, reveals how well-intentioned parental instincts can get in the way of your child’s sense of discovery, and explains how you can more effectively foster your child’s wonder.   The Finer Details of This Episode: Why we need to engineer scenarios that expose our kids to the world and allow them to find their own way. How adults, specifically parents, ca

It’s possible for parental expectations to be too high AND too low. You’ll have some parents keen on getting their little ones to read and write before they’re even in kindergarten while insisting they’re not yet emotionally able to comprehend big changes like moving homes. Social media plays a big role in perpetrating unrealistic expectations, with sponsored ads on Facebook and other platforms skewing these expectations even further. In the end, what your toddler can or cannot do most often boils down to what they have the cognitive capacity for—again, their little brains are still developing! In this episode, Jamie lays out the difficult truth about tantrums, breaks down what your little one may or may not be capable of doing at their age, and gets real about the unfortunate aspect of parenting you’re just going to have to come to terms with. The Finer Details of This Episode:   Are you expecting your kid to listen the first time you tell them to do something? That’s expecting way too much for their age.

Just because your relationship with your child isn’t perfect doesn’t mean you’re messing up! Kids are lovely, but anyone with a two-year-old knows they can also be chaotic little imps when they see fit. They’re going to push your buttons both by accident or because they’ll know it’s going to push your buttons. For these moments, it’s handy to have consistent, proportional guidelines for helping your little ones understand that they can’t always get away with everything—guidelines that focus on connection before correction In this episode, Jamie lays out a series of steps you should try to follow when your kid is acting out, pointers that will help them understand consequences rather than fear punishment. The Finer Details of This Episode: Two unavoidable facts: your kids will always find ways to act out despite your good parenting, and you will always be emotionally affected by that acting out. It is not a parent’s role to create the perfect human; we are here to guide our children. When your child starts

The last few episodes of Oh Crap! haven’t been as upbeat as Jamie’s usual output, but it’s important to address the more serious side of introducing your children to the world and dealing with the not-as-fun aspects of parenthood. To conclude this series, Jamie is looking at how mental health affects our parenting, specifically focusing on anxiety. We all need to discuss mental health in a serious and proactive way, while still giving one another the love and encouragement we all deserve. In this episode, Jamie discusses the different forms of anxiety, explains how you can begin to treat each kind, and gives you permission to not go to that big event you’ve been dreading.   The Finer Details of This Episode: Looking at how we frame mental health in casual discussion and why it can help to not speak as lightly about it. Why Jamie’s brand of self-care can come off as “brutal.” What are the different types of anxiety and how do they each manifest? The reason cutting out sugar intake can massively and positiv

Last week, Jamie looked at the many ways we can explain the heavy stuff—body parts, birth, death—to our kids in language that’s simple yet mature. For this installment, we’re looking at an upsetting but still very important topic: the creepy people who can be of danger to your children. There’s no way to keep your children completely sheltered and safe without emotionally stunting them and preventing them from truly growing up. They’re going to have to step out of your line of sight at some point. The best we can do is to impart some hard yet necessary truths about the world to them so that if they do find themselves in a troubling situation, they know what to do. In this episode, Jamie discusses how we can minimize the risks faced by our children while also minimizing the perception of risk—that is to say, how parents with the best intentions can misread innocent people and situations as devious and dangerous. Jamie also impresses the importance of teaching your little ones when it’s okay to say ‘no.’ The Fi

In this episode, Jamie would like you to step out of your comfort zone for a minute or two and really think about how you talk to your kids about Big Serious Things: private parts, reproduction, consent, and even death. Discussing these things openly in your household creates a culture without secrecy, weirdness or shame. This means that when your child stumbles across these topics in the big wide world without you—as scary a thought as that may be—they’ll be mature, prepared, and a role model for their peers.   In this episode, Jamie impresses the importance of teaching your children the correct language for their bodies as well as the slang, suggests constructive ways you can discuss death with them, and gives her personal stories from in the trenches.  The Finer Details of This Episode:   Jamie discusses the surprisingly mature teenagers she met when helping a momma goat deliver her kids. Why it’s a bad idea to discuss sex and the human body through a lens of shame. Use the real term for each body part

One of the biggest questions on young parents’ minds has got to be just HOW do you get your kids to listen. You could be trying to get them to do the simplest task or impress just how important it is for you to get out the door in the morning but they just. Don’t. Get it. Turns out that a lot of things are at play in a toddler’s mind, chief among them the fact that their executive functioning isn’t really that developed yet. So what we think are clear and direct instructions might be passing between their ears in a completely jumbled order that doesn’t make sense to them. In this episode, Jamie explains why it’s so essential for us to slow the hell down when talking to our kids and gives you a clearer idea of just how children listen so you know which buttons NOT to press when trying to get their attention. The Finer Details of This Episode: The surprising length of time it can take children’s little brains to actually process the words you’re saying. Trying to teach your toddler too many words at once can

Toddler time is very slow—after all, we’re talking about little humans who’re still getting the hang of executive functions and motor skills. Consequently, parents need to slow down for their little ones so that we don’t end up transitioning from activity to activity too quickly and upset them in the process. This can be VERY difficult because as a parent, you feel compelled to move quickly and deal with a bunch of tasks ASAP. The solution? Optimize your time like an efficiency expert has taken over your life so you can handle each little task and chore at the best pace for your kid. In this episode, Jamie explains why toddlers can’t move as quickly as we expect them to, gives you a novel way to visualize your priorities, and argues for why airplane mode on your phone is your best friend. The Finer Details of This Episode: What is the Pareto principle, and why does optimizing a mere 20% of your time help you manage the remaining 80%? The priority debacle—namely not knowing how to manage our priorities, or n

Jamie’s personal parenting style straddles the line between new and old, and she often likes to look back and see how child-rearing strategies and expectations have changed over the decades. For example, nowadays it’s far more acceptable for a child not to be fully potty trained until 3 or even 4 years old when a long time ago even 2 years was unthinkable. We need to ensure that these often inaccurate expectations from our early years don’t prevent us from teaching our kids the wrong lessons and passing on even more unrealistic expectations. In this episode, Jamie debunks some of the myths that have been built up around your own childhood, argues for what you should take time to appreciate instead, and suggests ways you can help your little ones feel like they’re a useful part of the “village” that is family. The Finer Details of This Episode: Your childhood memories are never as magical as you recall them being; for example, you never remember having to pay the bills. The downside to these memories is that

This week’s discussion centers on an issue Jamie feels very passionate about, and one which she believes makes our kids act out in crappy ways. That issue? Being so incredibly, uncompromisingly protective of our little ones for fear that they get so much as a scratch. Enforcing extreme caution on our kids at too early of an age means they might grow up too terrified to take ANY of the necessary risks in life, which will come back to bite them—and, indirectly, you—once they head off to college. So rather than bubble wrap our tots, we need to let them explore and discover their own physical limitations. In this episode, Jamie explains the senses at play when it comes to getting a handle on your body, advises you to buddy up with other parents who aren’t afraid to let their kids trip and fall, and helps you come to terms with the fact that your children will need to get a few scratches and scrapes for them to grow on their own terms. The Finer Details of This Episode:   Try putting yourself in the socks or sho

This week’s Oh, Crap! is a little more freestyle and a little more livid. Jamie has a lot on her mind right now, from how Baby Boomer parents look down on how the younger generations raise their little ones, to the perilous journey of dealing with a picky eater. So now’s the time to collectively let off some steam. In this episode, Jamie lets out some of her pent-up feelings re: the Baby Boomer generation, makes a case for why we should ease back on helicopter parenting, and lists some of the dos and don’ts for dealing with picky eaters. The Finer Details of This Episode: Raising kids isn’t a 24/7 “precious” experience and we shouldn’t pretend that it is. Growing up under Boomer parenting: like Stranger Things but without the extra-dimensional aliens. Lenore Skenazy’s mission to debunk myths about childhood dangers and prevent parents from bubble-wrapping their kids. Baby Boomers: you don’t need to call the cops on anything that looks vaguely suspicious! Why the wealth of knowledge available to modern pa

Jamie doesn’t believe kids are capable of “bad” behavior in the traditional sense—most toddlers aren’t mentally developed enough to act truly maliciously. But when you mix complex feelings, a near-complete inability to verbally communicate those feelings, and few if any inhibitions, and your little one can turn into a little shit really quickly. The trick is figuring out what feelings motivate acting out and what tools we can use to help them express those feelings in a healthier (and quieter) way.   In this episode, Jamie discusses the three major ways your little one can act up, as well as some helpful techniques you can use to expand your kid’s emotional vocabulary and keep them from going overboard. The Finer Details of This Episode:   Don’t trust anyone who claims they can eradicate your kid’s unruly behavior. Acting out: when our kids put into action what they’re unable to communicate. Limit-testing: how our little ones figure out what they can get away with.   Tantrum: the emotional explosion that

Any parent of a newborn knows why you swaddle them: it’s snug, it’s secure, and it keeps them from constantly swatting themselves in the damn face. Instilling boundaries in your toddlers is like kind of like emotional swaddling in that sense. You might recoil at the idea of enforcing too stringent boundaries—some of us came from controlling households, after all—but without any boundaries your child will grow up not feeling developmentally safe.   In this episode, Jamie discusses the positive effects setting boundaries at an early age can have later on, explores how much leeway parents should be able to have with those boundaries, and suggests some tips to keep from going Bad Mom Viral. The Finer Details of This Episode:   Accepting that the early years of your child’s life require stricter boundaries and restrictions—and why that’s not a bad thing! Figuring out the right times to enforce these boundaries and when to ease up a little. Setting up boundaries now is laying the groundwork for being firm with