Relationship Dish

Are you feeding your ego—or your intimacy? In this thought-provoking episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona unpack the subtle but powerful forces that quietly sabotage closeness in relationships. Drawing on ideas from David Burns’s Feeling Good Handbook, they explore how conflict, blame, defensiveness, self-pity, and the need to be “right” can feel addictive—meeting hidden cravings for power, superiority, or even adrenaline—while pushing true intimacy further away. Iona gets candid about how her traumatic family background once wired her to seek the rush of conflict, while Pam highlights the toxic trap of arrogance and how humility is the antidote. And to lighten things up, Iona shares a laugh-out-loud story about just how competitive she gets when playing Scrabble with her husband. Because at the end of the day, every couple has to choose: build the fence—or build the intimacy.