Relationship Dish

We all say we want healthy boundaries—but actually setting them? That’s where things get messy. In this raw and revealing episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona go beyond the surface-level how-to's and explore the deeper emotional blocks that keep so many of us stuck in people-pleasing, self-abandonment, and silent resentment. They share personal stories of how their childhoods shaped their boundary struggles—from families that labeled limits as “unloving” to patterns of emotional neglect and over-functioning. You’ll learn the crucial difference between “I can’t” and “I won’t,” how anxiety disguises itself as selflessness, and why the body often knows we need a boundary before the brain will admit it. If you’ve ever felt like setting boundaries threatens your relationships, this episode will help you see that, in truth, they’re what make true intimacy possible.

Sure, you’ve done the hard work—therapy, repair, tough conversations. But now what? In this feel-good episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona dive into something couples often forget to prioritize: fun. From day trips to date nights, puzzles to pub nights, they explore how joy acts as a deposit in your relationship bank account—and why it’s crucial for long-term connection. Pam shares honestly about the lack of joy in her past relationship and what lights her up now, while Iona talks about prioritizing fun with her husband after their daughter left home. They offer real-life ideas (and a hilarious lightning round!) to help you bring more play, laughter, and lightness into your love life—before and after the kids fly the coop. Because fun isn’t frivolous—it’s the glue that keeps you together.

What does a real apology sound like—and why is it so damn hard to get one? In this episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona dive into the delicate art of apologizing. After Iona arrives very late to the recording, she offers a genuine, no-excuses apology—and it sparks a deeper conversation about how we repair emotional ruptures in relationships. They explore the difference between heartfelt accountability and hollow placation, why calling someone “too sensitive” doesn’t count, and how many of us (even the most polite Canadians!) are still learning to feel our feelings—and express them constructively. From the anatomy of a good apology to the role of anger in intimacy, this episode is packed with insights on how to show up with vulnerability, stay out of shame, and create stronger, more resilient connections—one repair at a time.

Ever feel like you’re arguing with your partner’s past self—or like they’re stuck seeing you as who you used to be? In this candid and insightful episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona explore the “ghosts” that haunt our relationships—old dynamics, traumas, and one-dimensional perceptions that get projected onto our partners and shape how we relate. From confirmation bias to emotional overfunctioning, they unpack how unresolved experiences (from childhood and from earlier stages of the relationship itself) can distort the present—and block growth. Iona shares a personal story about her pattern of going into Superwoman mode when her husband is unwell, and how her default reactions are slowly changing… even if the “ghost” of her old self still lingers. Pam opens up about facing similar struggles with her daughter. Tune in for heartfelt reflection, a few laugh-out-loud moments, and some powerful insights on how to give your partner—and yourself—the space to evolve.

In this episode, Pam and Iona unpack how childhood experiences with explosive anger shaped their adult relationships—and their own relationship with anger. From avoiding conflict to striving for perfection, they explore what happens when we bury our feelings to keep the peace, and how that can backfire. With honesty and humor, they show how learning to sit with emotions like annoyance can lead to healthier, more direct communication. Because as Iona says, “Anger doesn’t have to look like your mother.”

In this episode, Iona and Pam dig into the powerful dynamics of over- and under-compensating in relationships and how these patterns often reflect parent-child ego states. Drawing from personal stories and therapeutic insights, they explore how mindfulness, validation, and understanding our triggers can help us shift into an adult state—where real intimacy and connection can thrive. Whether it's soothing your nervous system or showing appreciation in playful ways, it all starts with noticing how you're showing up.

Do your childhood wounds still have a seat at the table in your relationships? In this episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona dive into how early emotional experiences shape our adult love lives—often in ways we don’t realize. They explore how childhood traumas, attachment wounds, and subconscious patterns can lead to conflict, insecurity, or emotional distance. Tune in for insights on recognizing these patterns and, most importantly, how to heal them to create healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

In this episode, therapists Iona and Pam explore how facing—and honoring—your feelings is the key to clear communication and successful negotiation in relationships. They discuss why recognizing and processing emotions, rather than avoiding them, leads to deeper understanding, stronger connections, and more meaningful conversations. Tune in to learn how embracing your emotions can transform the way you relate to others.

This week, Iona and Pam dish about whether or not it's possible to have an amicable divorce or breakup. What if only one of you wants to end the relationship? What if you have kids? What if those kids are still young, and your ex brings a new partner into the family? If you're thinking about—or maybe even in the midst of—a divorce and hoping for minimal damage, this episode is for you.

Iona and Pam dish about what people really mean when they say that they've "fallen out of love" with their partner. It can sound so nebulous, scary, and final, and no one really knows how to deal with it! This week, the therapists dig into the logistics of what that statement really means and what to do to avoid it altogether in a relationship. They also destigmatize the phrase so listeners can understand it and deal with it in helpful ways that can actually bring back that lovin' feeling. Both therapists have dealt with this issue before in their own relationships and are here to help us navigate the choppy waters.

Are you overriding your instincts—and potentially putting your safety in jeopardy—to make others feel comfortable? Listen in this week as the therapists dish and dive into their personal experiences with feeling unsafe and vulnerable as women.  The conversation explores how their childhood experiences of feeling powerless and voiceless have impacted their ability to assert themselves in potentially dangerous situations as adults. Pam and Iona also discuss how the societal pressure for women to be "easygoing" and not "make a fuss" can override their intuition and put them at risk. They emphasize how this dynamic of female voicelessness intersects with the threat of male aggression that many women face—and offer an empowering message to everyone experiencing this struggle.

Listen in this week as the therapists dish and dive about their fears and vulnerabilities. Pam shares that she struggles with a fear of humiliation, especially related to her intelligence and competence. She recounts past experiences of being publicly embarrassed as a child, which have shaped her tendency to avoid vulnerability in order to protect her self-worth. Iona talks about how negative occurrences ignite her fear of everything falling apart or disappearing—and how our childhood experiences can rewire our brains to be overly fearful of certain situations as adults. Both discuss how fear can limit the possibilities in your life. The key question you need to ask yourself about your own fear: Is what you're feeling congruent with the real potential consequences? 

Listen in this week as the therapists dish and dive about navigating the differences between you and your partner. How alike—or unalike—can you be in a successful relationship? And can shared values overcome opposing political views? What if you’re raising kids together? Pam and Iona explore how differences in upbringing, personality, and life experiences can impact your relationship. They emphasize the significance of respect, curiosity, and commitment to resolving conflicts, and agree that values like integrity, family, and community are crucial. They also touch on the challenges of dealing with trauma and the necessity of personal growth. Bottom line? Successful relationships require effort, communication, and a willingness to work through issues, rather than just shared traits or views.

Listen in this week as the therapists dish and dive about navigating life transitions. Iona shares her personal experiences with her daughter's departure to university and its impact on her relationship. Pam opens up about her journey through dating and the lessons she's learned about attachment and intimacy as she navigates her own transitions.

We are on a much needed break between seasons 4 and 5.   We leave you with a 5 min reminder tip to stay open and vulnerable in your relationship with your loved one and with the important people in your life.

We are on a much needed break between seasons 4 and 5.   We leave you with a 5 min reminder tip to stay open and vulnerable in your relationship with your loved one and with the important people in your life.

Listen in this week as the therapists dish and dive about narcissism.    Iona gets a rude awakening about how she’s behaved in her relationship and this starts a conversation about people with narcissistic tendencies.   Pam weighs in on her experiences and together they dive into some interesting and enlightening literature on the subject.

Listen in this week for part 2 of our interview with therapist Alistair Moes, as he shares his knowledge about men, their feelings and their relationships. Alistair has run anger management workshops for both men and women for over 25 years  and has much to teach us about men and their feelings.

Listen in this week for part 1 of an interview where the therapists talk with Alistair- a therapist and colleague who’s worked for years specifically with men and their anger issues. Learn how the men in his practice have learned to deal with their anger and their needs in relationships and where their issues originally stemmed from. If you’ve struggled with anger in your life, don’t miss parts 1 and 2 of this fascinating interview.

Listen in this week as the therapists dish and dive about The Withdrawer. Behind every good pursuer is a good distancer. Iona is married to one and Pam is one, so its a charged topic. Learn how they each cope in their own marriages and learn what it is that the withdrawer is truly feeling underneath the cool exterior. It'll surprise you how much is under there. Also, learn what the distancer really longs for and how the pursuer can give it to them, if they don't retreat into withdrawal. Understand your stance in the cycle so you can get what you need from your partner and from your relationship.