Relationship Dish

This week the therapists dish and dive about what the hell women really want. They ask themselves if they even know what they want? And if they don’t know, how do they expect their partners to know?  It’s a tough question and not a simple answer.  However, the therapists dive into some pretty solid research about it and come up with some surprises thanks to Drs. Julie and John Gottman and their  years of research into this issue. Listen in as the therapists try to figure it out for themselves and talk about how their partners are doing trying to figure it out as well. The men in their lives are pretty much in the dark about it and liken it to a moving target. Listen in as they dispel the myths and highlight the research and discover that it’s not as difficult as it seems.

This week the therapists dish and dive about boundaries. They find it tough to put them up but ultimately necessary. Pam and Iona discuss their struggles erecting boundaries and the price their relationships have paid.    They talk about what they learned about boundaries from their family of origin and start to better understand  their inner conflicts with them.  As it turns out, boundaries are important as they help us to honour feelings of anger and frustration and give them a voice.   The therapists then dive into the literature on boundary setting and give their listeners some helpful hints about when to do it and how to do it so as to not feel like a “bad” person.  

This week on the podcast Pam and Iona dish about triggers -  those things that pull us into big emotional responses and experience emotions that we just can’t regulate.   What triggers the therapists and how do they navigate these triggers so they don’t cause damage? Listen in and learn how to self regulate, self soothe and catch these triggers before the gun goes off! 

This week the therapists wrap up their first “side dish”- when the listeners get to eavesdrop on a conversation with three young, newly married 30 something women.   What are their relationships like? What are their struggles? What do they wish they knew before they got married? Newly married Jill Lansky from The August Diaries and her pals give us a glimpse into their world. This interview is part 3 of 3

This week the therapists continue to change things up with their first “side dish”- when the listeners get to eavesdrop on a conversation with three young, newly married 30 something women.   What are their relationships like? What are their struggles? What do they wish they knew before they got married? Newly married Jill Lansky from The August Diaries and her pals give us a glimpse into their world. This interview is part 2 of 3

This week the therapists change things up with their first “side dish”- when the listeners get to eavesdrop on a conversation with three young, newly married 30 something women.   What are their relationships like? What are their struggles? What do they wish they knew before they got married? Newly married Jill Lansky from The August Diaries and her pals give us a glimpse into their world. This interview is part 1 of 3. 

This week the therapists dish and dive about in laws. Cue scary music! Pam and Iona dish about some of their more colourful issues with in laws (it isn’t always pretty) and dive into the literature that speaks to why the relationship can go sideways, how to get along better with your in laws and what the struggles really are about down deep in the heart. 

This week the therapists dish and dive about fairy tales- like the ones we all bought into about living happily ever after marrying a prince? It doesn't exactly go that way without hard work, does it? The therapists talk about the misconceptions and damage these fairy tales have created and dive into the literature about how they began, what the real message was and how we can break free of these notions to have healthy and sustainable relationships. 

This week the therapists dish about their negative thoughts and how these thoughts can create big feelings and reactions. But what if their thoughts aren’t totally rational or true?  The therapists then dive into the literature on CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) and learn about all the different types of irrational thoughts we can have, how they can impact our feelings and behaviour and teach how you can recognize and debate them to avoid having painful and unnecessary emotional reactions. 

This week the therapists dish and dive about having BIG feelings. They are big feelers and it’s not always easy to be that way in relationship with less emotive partners. Sometimes, having big passionate emotions about specific events has roots in painful or meaningful childhood experiences. The therapists then dive into the literature and learn that big feelings of anger, anxiety or even depression can be just the tip of the iceberg and that oftentimes, totally unrelated emotions sit underneath. They present a feeling word list for those of you who’d like to express their feelings more often and a nice takeaway to help couples share and manage their feelings together to create more intimacy between them.

This week the therapists dish and dive on part two of the family of origin issues that we can drag into our romantic relationships. Growing up, from the way our caregivers responded to our emotional needs, we learned about our own worthiness and the trustworthiness of others. Pam and Iona dish about how their FOO experiences have wrecked havoc with their partners and dive into the literature to learn and teach what can be done to create intimacy and reduce conflict within a relationship if your “models of self and other” were damaged. There is hope!!

This week the therapists dish and dive on family of origin issues and how they inform our sense of self and sense of other. Am I loveable? Are caregivers reliable? If we come out of our families feeling a lack of love ability and a lack of trust in others, it can be pretty tough to navigate romantic relationships down the road.  Listen in and get started thinking about what you learned about your self and your world from your family of origin.

Its summer and that means travelling with your partner! Oh boy! The therapists dish on what has gone wrong, what can go wrong and what’s normal for most couples.   Iona dishes about the issues she’s had travelling with Steve, from egg salad sandwiches, to forgetting to eat,  to forgotten laptops at US customs, to running late for ferries and airplanes, they’ve seen it all. Pam dishes about some of the issues she’s encountered in her relationships around travelling including different styles of seeing the world.   The therapists then dive into some interesting literature about why travelling with your partner is so important, what you can learn about each other and some helpful tips for avoiding disasters while on the road.      

This week the therapists dish and dive about their relationships at large in the world. Are they an extension of our relationships with our partner and with others?   Iona dishes about people seeming more angry in the world in general and Pam dishes about struggles she has had with angry drivers with bad energy.   Are we polluting the world with our bad moods and actions towards others? The therapists then dive into some literature about  the notion of happiness. You’ll be surprised what you hear. Learn how you can be happier too!

This week the therapists dish about the frustration they feel toward their partners who are not as psychologically minded as they are. Iona struggles with Steve sometimes because he doesn’t have the same map that she has about how the most productive conversations unfold.   He doesn’t always follow her rules of engagement and that makes her feel like she alone is the keeper of the process of the conversation. Sometimes, without realizing, he can throw a grenade into their conversations just when Iona feels they are getting really productive.   Pam struggles in the same way with Eric, but understands that this is both a skill and a gift that has been practiced and honed in us as therapists. Can we really expect that our partners, who are not trained therapists, should have a mutual understanding and see the big picture the same way that we do?  Still, we don’t want to be “stewards of the conversation” without our partners help. The therapists then dive into some basic ideas about what it means to be psychologi

This week the therapists dish about the fine balance between togetherness and separateness.  Iona struggles with both her teenage daughter’s and husband’s growing up and away from her while in the past, Pam, the introvert,  has struggled with Eric’s need for more togetherness and more recently, his needs for separateness.  The therapists then dive on some useful literature to help us understand and navigate this precarious balance,  with the ultimate goal of improving our connection by communicating our needs and feelings to our partner. 

Hey dishers, we're back! Listen in to our season 2 premiere when we talk about everyone's favorite topic money. Money- love it or hate it, it’s one of the most difficult topics to discuss with your partner. The therapists dish on the role of money in their own relationships and how it’s been contentious. They dive into some interesting research and come back with some helpful hints on how to prevent it from taking over your relationship. So let's learn more about this hot button and how to navigate it safely with our partners!!

We've just wrapped Season 1 with 20 episodes! There is a lot of variety and great topics covered, so feel free to listen to any of the episodes again for things you may have missed or a refresher. We will back for a season 2 shortly and would love to thank your for your continued support. Send us your ideas for a season 2 show or just email us if you have any questions, we would love to hear from you.  Dishers@relationshipdish.com Iona and Pam

Even though defense mechanisms are normal, they can really get in the way of closeness with your partner.  This week the therapists dish about the defenses they use and how they're affecting their own romantic relationships! (Spoiler alert: it’s not great!) They then dive into some interesting definitions of defense mechanisms and share a list of some of the most popular ones! You’ll recognize yourselves!  We did!  Some useful takeaways follow as always! 

Anger is a very important and informative emotion, yet many of us have troubles allowing ourselves to just be with it.  Listen in as the therapists dish about their own history and relationship with anger. It hasn’t always been a comfortable relationship between themselves and anger. They’ve fought it, felt ashamed by it, given in to it and been controlled by it. Learn healthy ways of expressing anger, understand the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness and discover what hidden gems might be under your anger.