Relationship Dish

Iona and Pam dish about what people really mean when they say that they've "fallen out of love" with their partner. It can sound so nebulous, scary, and final, and no one really knows how to deal with it! This week, the therapists dig into the logistics of what that statement really means and what to do to avoid it altogether in a relationship. They also destigmatize the phrase so listeners can understand it and deal with it in helpful ways that can actually bring back that lovin' feeling. Both therapists have dealt with this issue before in their own relationships and are here to help us navigate the choppy waters.

Are you overriding your instincts—and potentially putting your safety in jeopardy—to make others feel comfortable? Listen in this week as the therapists dish and dive into their personal experiences with feeling unsafe and vulnerable as women.  The conversation explores how their childhood experiences of feeling powerless and voiceless have impacted their ability to assert themselves in potentially dangerous situations as adults. Pam and Iona also discuss how the societal pressure for women to be "easygoing" and not "make a fuss" can override their intuition and put them at risk. They emphasize how this dynamic of female voicelessness intersects with the threat of male aggression that many women face—and offer an empowering message to everyone experiencing this struggle.

Listen in this week as the therapists dish and dive about their fears and vulnerabilities. Pam shares that she struggles with a fear of humiliation, especially related to her intelligence and competence. She recounts past experiences of being publicly embarrassed as a child, which have shaped her tendency to avoid vulnerability in order to protect her self-worth. Iona talks about how negative occurrences ignite her fear of everything falling apart or disappearing—and how our childhood experiences can rewire our brains to be overly fearful of certain situations as adults. Both discuss how fear can limit the possibilities in your life. The key question you need to ask yourself about your own fear: Is what you're feeling congruent with the real potential consequences? 

Listen in this week as the therapists dish and dive about navigating the differences between you and your partner. How alike—or unalike—can you be in a successful relationship? And can shared values overcome opposing political views? What if you’re raising kids together? Pam and Iona explore how differences in upbringing, personality, and life experiences can impact your relationship. They emphasize the significance of respect, curiosity, and commitment to resolving conflicts, and agree that values like integrity, family, and community are crucial. They also touch on the challenges of dealing with trauma and the necessity of personal growth. Bottom line? Successful relationships require effort, communication, and a willingness to work through issues, rather than just shared traits or views.

Listen in this week as the therapists dish and dive about navigating life transitions. Iona shares her personal experiences with her daughter's departure to university and its impact on her relationship. Pam opens up about her journey through dating and the lessons she's learned about attachment and intimacy as she navigates her own transitions.

We are on a much needed break between seasons 4 and 5.   We leave you with a 5 min reminder tip to stay open and vulnerable in your relationship with your loved one and with the important people in your life.

We are on a much needed break between seasons 4 and 5.   We leave you with a 5 min reminder tip to stay open and vulnerable in your relationship with your loved one and with the important people in your life.

Listen in this week as the therapists dish and dive about narcissism.    Iona gets a rude awakening about how she’s behaved in her relationship and this starts a conversation about people with narcissistic tendencies.   Pam weighs in on her experiences and together they dive into some interesting and enlightening literature on the subject.

Listen in this week for part 2 of our interview with therapist Alistair Moes, as he shares his knowledge about men, their feelings and their relationships. Alistair has run anger management workshops for both men and women for over 25 years  and has much to teach us about men and their feelings.

Listen in this week for part 1 of an interview where the therapists talk with Alistair- a therapist and colleague who’s worked for years specifically with men and their anger issues. Learn how the men in his practice have learned to deal with their anger and their needs in relationships and where their issues originally stemmed from. If you’ve struggled with anger in your life, don’t miss parts 1 and 2 of this fascinating interview.

Listen in this week as the therapists dish and dive about The Withdrawer. Behind every good pursuer is a good distancer. Iona is married to one and Pam is one, so its a charged topic. Learn how they each cope in their own marriages and learn what it is that the withdrawer is truly feeling underneath the cool exterior. It'll surprise you how much is under there. Also, learn what the distancer really longs for and how the pursuer can give it to them, if they don't retreat into withdrawal. Understand your stance in the cycle so you can get what you need from your partner and from your relationship.

We would like to wish you a very Happy Valentines Day from us at Relationship Dish. Love the one you're with, and most importantly love yourself to help love others more. Iona and Pam

This week the therapists dish and dive about the pursuer position in the cycle. Iona is a pursuer and Pam is married to one, so there is plenty of fodder to go around! Learn what the pursuer really needs, feels and longs for and how their stance can sabotage themselves and their partner. The more I pursue, the more you withdraw!   Learn how to break out of this conflict, voice what you need and get what you need from your partner.

Listen in this week as Iona and Pam dish and dive about growing apart from their partners. It can happen to the best of us but how do we know if it’s just a phase or something more permanent? Pam and Iona weigh in on their own experiences and learn how to tell the difference and how to stop the disconnection dead in its tracks.

As a special treat to celebrate our recent 100th episode, this week the therapists interview Eric, Pam’s husband, to find out what impact the podcast has had on him, the relationship and Pam. We learn what’s changed for Eric as a result of his partner’s podcast journey and how their relationship has grown over the past 2 years. We also hear what’s remained the same and what Eric’s learned about himself through the eyes of the podcast. Finally, listeners get to hear from the other side!

Listener pick! Just in time for cold and flu season... Listen in this week as the therapists discuss hypochondria. Ever worry if the headache you have is really a tumour? Or if the cough you have is more nefarious than you think? Many of us, of course,  wonder from time to time, but to obsess constantly about these long shots is the pain of hypochondria.    Pam and Iona discuss how it has personally touched their lives and the lives of those they care about. Learn what it is and how to manage it if you suffer and how to help someone you love get through it! It can be a tricky one to treat, but, there is help and recovery as you’ll find out.

Listen in this week as the therapists dish about healthy guilt. Is that a thing? You betcha! Sometimes feeling healthy guilt is really useful. Pam and Iona dish about their healthy guilt and the fallout they’ve experienced of not truly feeling it. Dive into the literature about healthy guilt and learn its vital role in our lives, if we’ll accept it!

Happy new year! What better way to start 2020 than with learning how to regulate your emotions so that you can maintain your relationships!  Listen in as the therapists dish about their own struggles with discharging emotions in their relationships and the damage it’s done.   Then learn what the literature says about the window of tolerance and  how to keep ourselves within it so we can stay true to our own emotions while keeping the connection with our partners. A juggling act and a fine balance! 

Happy New Year and Happy Holidays, Here is a replay of one of our favourite episodes, Falling in Love. Sometimes we have to do away with the image we create  of our partner, so we can meet and fall in love with who this person really is. They learn that this is not a selfish thing, that another person is not out on this earth to fill all of our fantasies, but rather to be loved for who they truly are. Listen in and decide if you’re willing to fall in love with the actual person you’re with,  instead of the fantasy of what this person can offer you. 

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, Here is a replay of one of our favourite episodes. The Critic. This week the therapists dish and dive about that critical voice in their heads, their inner critics. They look at where they come from and  how we can learn to manage them so they don’t take over our lives. Listen in and learn how to beat those negative voices!