'here & Know'

My sudden bout of clearheadedness did not come with a reprieve of fatigue, much to my chagrin. But I found an energy in that frustration, somehow, and I suspected it to be the source of my awakening, if I could dare to call it such.... It had something to do with the new suit Margaret had laid out for me. I didn't even realize it was new when I first put it on. And I still didn't realize it when I left Josef by the fire, kicking dirt upon it, screaming, trying in vain to extinguish it, such as he did after every night which we concluded there. "I swear to god," he said. "That this fire was on my side of the creek when we moved in. And now it won't ever go out!" That was my cue to my leave. It was as if our encounters by the fire were playing out on a loop. The same conversation, over and over again, however many times we had it. The only thing different on this occasion was my suit. I never wore a suit. Or at least I hadn't since I quit my job and moved out of the city. When I got back inside the house that n