Double Deuce Podcast

The Notes: Will’s in an Ogden Nash vibe today! Giving back to the community for the love of the game! Just playing the hits! Will’s mother was a cello and his father was a French horn! The micropenis of the orchestral set! At knifepoint, Nelson would choose the oboe! Old-timey music lawyer! You’ll never be Spicy Beef Gaus, you’ll never even match him! Terrifying hypothetical final form! Like Galadriel with the one ring up in this! French philosophy and Spider-man! Humping a keyboard! As above, so below! Effecting Penetration! It’s Will’s new one-man play! The penetration is reminiscent of Godot! It’s a metaphor! The implications were unclear and unsettling! The classic trope of the jungle lawyer! The venn diagram enters the jungle, as you will! You’re in the jungle, baby! These wax wings become an anchor! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @doubledeucepod.bsky.social Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/D

The Notes: Notes are a little squigdgey this time but it’s cool, because time is a constant, and so you’ve already heard the episode, and these notes aren’t a preview of what’s to come, but merely a charming reminder of what you’ve already experienced, are currently experiencing, and will always experience! Anyhoo, Notes: Extreme focus! Your mom is having an affair! You probably didn’t want to find out this way! Here’s a cat!!! Remember to breathe! Muscle memory! Infinite possibilities! Robot samurai warrior poets! Remember kids, it’s 1) Life Support, 2) Shields, 3) Weapons, 4) Engines, with 3 and 4 possibly reversed! Alien relations! Getting hot-boxed with time knowledge! Insider trading for sure *wink*! Foreshadowing, one of the tools of those with time knowledge! Time knowledge is a doible-edged sword! We know when we’re all going to die, and which stocks to push before qe2 of next year! Moist taxidermy! Don’t use a rolodex in this day and age! Mr. FBI, we gave you all the clues! This podcast if for everyo

The Notes: The Deuce continues to double! Scientists are baffled, and they are afraid! Suns, how do they work!? Less-Fewer Blindness! Will slept with less and murdered fewer! Honey-trapped by a grammar prostitute! The British pronunciation of kaleidoscope! Would Will not play ball, or did he play entirely too much ball!? Will doesn’t have enough balls! Hip deep in disgrace! Nelson specifies the requirements for his funeral! Get on your bikes and ride! Fraternal orders! The other side of the diorama! The Hall of Nelson! Taxidermy vs animatronics! The Ballad of Bummercles! The front row will be dry-aged with smoke! Will’s book is coming soon! Go to lfkwasteland.com for event info, purchase details, extras, and more! Fruit plus leather equals yum! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @doubledeucepod.bsky.social Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We’

The Notes: We’re doing a job! Football talk! I thought that town smelled bad on the outside! Old-timey baseball in old-timey England! National Lactation Day! The traditional relays! It’s like a Japanese gameshow! Smaller roads and more assholes! The Great American Meat Pie! No more than 20% bat meat! Keep it gooey in there! Mustard up our fudge! German mole’! Germany’s not exactly batting 1.000 on great ideas! Gods were dying and monsters were being born! Will’s book is coming out! Tuesday 11/4 pre-release party at Maceli’s! Tuesday 11/11 VIP Q&A book release at The Raven! Go to www.lfkwasteland.com for info! Inside info for the listeners: a book art easter egg! Should we get silly!? We’re stuck in the past and we don’t know what we’re doing! A big 3rd down! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @doubledeucepod.bsky.social Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/re

The Notes: We’re a day late, but a pound strong! Coming up on a decade! The Applebee’s Experience! Helping the Brits feel at home by taking them to Medieval Times! There’s always more food! Will wants to chase some gator tail! Nelson reps Captain Jack’s! Crab knuckles, yum! Seeing Star Trek IV with a coke dealer! Bring back expository tour guide scenes or the terrorists win! Happy birthday, Chad! Walmart has ideas! Don’t come at Will with your sweet mixin’s! Come to Will’s book pre-release party, 11/4 at Maceli’s, and the actual release a week later at the Raven! A lil’ Mikey Senften shoutout! The age of strip clubbing! Perfect for a tombstone or a tin of mints! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @doubledeucepod.bsky.social Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We’re on Apple, Android, Libsyn, Stitcher, Google, Spotify, Amazon, Radio.com, RadioPub

The Notes: Prepare your ears! All ears welcome! Quick Sports Corner! Go to Will’s panel this Saturday, 2pm, at Washburn! Get ready for Will’s book events the first 2 Tuesdays in November! History of the MacArthur Genius Grant! Icing on the genius cake! Alfred “Dy-no-mite!” Nobel! Nelson is the Power Forward, Will is the Goalie! Come party with the Deuce! Insufferable nerd stuff! Will was Long Walking! Long cocaine walking! Recipe for a heart attack! Where’s the crowd kissing! Mess around and get a warning! Meticulous recreation of the poop scenes! Let’s hear it for the poop! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @doubledeucepod.bsky.social Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We’re on Apple, Android, Libsyn, Stitcher, Google, Spotify, Amazon, Radio.com, RadioPublic, pretty much anywhere they got podcasts, you can find the Deuce! Podcast logo art by

The Notes: See you in the gulags! A gulag with a view! Ours will be the most fun gulag! Modern day Hogan’s Heroes! One Crazy Gulag! Celebrity gulag pals! We need a Lane Dobbler in our gulag! Filling up our gulag team! Our gulag vs the rich kids’ gulag next door! The Inter-Gulag Games! There aren’t enough boat movies these days! Will vs the Gruffalo! Philip vs Boris! Will loves getting slapped by ladies! Coffee talk! Will likes that warm milky! The line between helpful and condescending! Our gulag coffee shop speakeasy! Reverse Boss Hogg! Are you our missing piece!? One robot, Mr. Regatta! Robots, they are just like us! Lions vs terminators! A brief bit of love for Star Trek 6! Multiple Deuces over the line! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @doubledeucepod.bsky.social Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We’re on Apple, Android, Libsyn, Stitcher

The Notes: Morning Deuce! Nelson is getting things done today! Will plugs it up! Will’s Wasteland book is coming soon! Nelson’s money is all tied up in prospecting! I can set you up with a gold tooth guy! Subscription has its advantages! Samuel L Jackson is looking out for us! Will is looking to get his nut! Will has Samuel L Jackson’s nuts in his mouth! See Will at the Kansas Book Festival on Saturday, September 20th! Squirming tips for extra squirming! The scientific reverse of a wet t-shirt contest! It’s a wet back and ass non-contest! Your mother, the ventriloquist doll! It’s all in the eyes! Now your squirm is squirming, squirmy! Nelson is a broad-spectrum life coach! The fabled poop edition! Will has a reading on election day! Occasional Roady! Shirt mortgage! Cut out your money middleman! Diagonal is the direction of the future! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @doubledeucepod.bsky.social Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleD

The Notes: Coach vibes! Are we coaches, or are we umpires!? Little Timmy’s birthday! Little Timmy’s Dark Backstory! Little Timmy’s nazi birthday party! Somebody’s starting to sound like one of Little Timmy’s birthday guests! Will finished his time machine! Nelson isn’t a time machine doctor! The goal is bad science! Wilford Brimley vs Morgan Freeman! Our impeccable Wilford Brimley impressions! Half-dog, half-fly! Lost in the science sauce! The balls our own making! Time travel is the clear future of sales! We’re the Michael Crichton’s Timeline of podcasts! So, anyway, that’s why we were late! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @doubledeucepod.bsky.social Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We’re on Apple, Android, Libsyn, Stitcher, Google, Spotify, Amazon, Radio.com, RadioPublic, pretty much anywhere they got podcasts, you can find the Deuce! Po

The Notes: Cleaning your ears with joy! The 3 Worst Times to Fall Asleep! Fame, do we want to live forever!? Family, or new, undiscovered islands!? You’re their immortal great-great-grandpa, they have to invite you to the cookout! The trip-me-ups and pitfalls of immortality! Bill Shavehole! Good advice for mortal and immortal alike! Kids, always have a clean, new identity on you! Once again we spit on the grave our fallen adversary! The fatal flaw of Applebee’s! A top notch frame-up! There are better ways to get rid of grease! There are very few accidental war crimes! The only war crimes our listeners have committed are ones that can be legitimately explained away, and yes we realize that’s the excuse of a lot of war criminals! @SpicyBeefGaus’s experience handling alleged war criminals! Leave us a detailed message cataloguing your war crime deets! While we don’t condone war crimes, we are shockingly popular amongst war criminals! Don’t look at us, in re: that war criminal discount, that was a third-party disc

The Notes: It may be too late to go out, but not to podcast (we’re old)! Will’s Lawrence Wasteland poem book with illustrations by Kent Smith is out this fall is coming soon! The perfect holiday gift for Lawrence lovers! Nelson uses his powers for good! Will accuses Nelson’s net of excess width! Library of Congress! Bottoms Update! Our Bottoms Expert, Loren Saunders, shared valuable intel and we share it with you! Battle for the Bottoms! Black Nasty should be in the Kansas Music Hall of Fame! Will’s lack of Black Nasty knowledge, as a proud son of Kansas, is outright criminal! The opposite of Showtime at the Apollo! Brunch at the Apollo! Auman pulled a Kramer (not racism)! Don’t be racist, and subscribe to our podcast, in that order! Our guide for a hypothetical racist listener of our podcast to use their local library to become less racist! Popeye’s addict friend! Will’s swimmin’ in burgers! Loren v Wimpy: Burger Battle for the Bottoms! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter

The Notes: Guard dog on duty! Don’t use your love to kill, dog! Falling down is bad business! We mortals are but shadows and dust! Cops do be legally lying, though! ACAB includes stripper cops! Nelson’s complicated medical licensing! He’s the peoples’ podcaster, and the peoples’ doctor! Things that piss Will off! The fine art of festival reviewing, managing expectations, and not being a dick! The ball elasticity of youth! Driving in KC! Familiar but fake! It’s just like Grand Theft Auto, but without the car theft! Urban decay vs urban decay renewal! Hit us up if you need a spokesduo, West Bottoms! Karate Samson, hit us up! West Bottoms vs East Bottoms, is there feudin’ a’brewin’!? West Bottoms Side Story: Jets vs Cows! Dr. Nelson reminds you to tend your own west and east bottoms, and what lies between and beneath! Will’s doing a weird eyebrow thing! Double Deuces, I’m out! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @doubledeucepod.bsky.so

Sorry again for the delay! The Notes: Monday night post-D&D session recording! Bad microphone etiquette! Nelson’s got sound skills! Happys Gilmore! 90’s comedy revival! A possible New Year’s Eve live show!? Will is a 6-hour time traveler! Unaccompanied minors! The bag of fun! Airplane food – it’s so good! The old 2 dinner airplane trick! Rumbling those internal tectonic plates! Will needs an aisle seat, while Nelson is a window man! Meatless meatloaf is a bridge too far! The timer’s betrayal! The Cranberries have entered the chat! Sometimes doing math is like The Troubles! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @doubledeucepod.bsky.social Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We’re on Apple, Android, Libsyn, Stitcher, Google, Spotify, Amazon, Radio.com, RadioPublic, pretty much anywhere they got podcasts, you can find the Deuce! Podcast logo art b

The Notes: Loving you like you want to be loved! What’s Nelson’s love language? Tacos! Tacos is a good language! All corn is wet sometimes! The secrets Nelson and Jesus keep! The holy trinity and omnipresence of the almighty means the song “I Think We’re Alone Now” can’t be about Jesus! Have you cuddled your Nelson today!? Nitty gritty cuddling! Will’s love language is hand stuff! Will premieres his new yeah yeah yeah yeaaaaah! Go see Shitty Deal at the KC Fringe this Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday! At the Fish Tank in the West Bottoms! Go to shttydeal.com for showtimes and more info! Coming from the West Bottoms to disturb the stomach of KC! I could eat some Sonic after battling the undead! Young Stephen King sure did love him some cocaine! Old-timey racism, ironic racism, and racism as an example of poor moral quality in a character are all, ultimately, still racism! The golden age of Buddy-Coppery! Let’s not get Mel Gibson started! The tried-and-true idiom of the “dark potato!” Real potato-heads know what

The Notes: Will is phlegmy today! Will’s Tom Waits impression is way too jowly! Nelson’s cat is desperate for attention! Shitty Deal Puppets at KC Fringe next week, see shttydeal.com for show dates/times! A free ticket to heaven and ears full of joy! Nelson’s exhaustive exploration of Biff from Back to the Future! Is original movie Marty McFly a Mary Sue!? Looking for a young Marty McFly! The secret to a good timeline vs a dark timeline is self-confidence! The many dark timelines in the wake of Doc and Marty’s time meddling! Apparently this was the Back to the Future episode!? Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @doubledeucepod.bsky.social Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We’re on Apple, Android, Libsyn, Stitcher, Google, Spotify, Amazon, Radio.com, RadioPublic, pretty much anywhere they got podcasts, you can find the Deuce! Podcast logo art b

Interstate zoomin’! The Notes: Will is living in the Colorado future past! Will’s been dancing with the temporal devil in the pale moon-time! The eastern Colorado buffer protecting the mountains from Kansas. Midwest DMZ! It’s all prisons and bible radio! Wistful Colorado remembrances! Ryder-or-Die! Ghost town voting rights! Oyster problems and beer flight dreams! Steampunk Conroy’s! Oysters v Oysters: Dawn of Balls! Oysters of the sea vs oysters of the sack! What do you like on your balls!? Nelson’s World of Balls! What them balls do? . . . EVERYTHING! Racist Epcot! Claiming our pound of balls from the Ikea market share! Real Ball-heads all looking forward to that weekly release! Will braved them white water rapids! Trying to buy a suit when you have one big arm and one regular-sized arm! The high-stakes sport of canoeing! Nelson’s World of Balls never closes, we’re open around the ball (clock)! (That’s right, plumbers, we got ballcocks, too!) Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Tw

Zoomed last week, second episode in the session bad notes disclaimer! The Notes: Happy Birthday, Will! It’s Will’s birthday, here come the submarines! Bear dick corner! Canonically, that’s Paddington in the Revenant! Will is shocked to learn Paddington has done time! The only panacea to the prison industrial complex is Paddington! Felony pop-up book theft is no joke! The Soviet socialist undertones of Journey’s Don’t Stop Believin’! That midnight train isn’t going anywhere, it’s going to a Siberian labor camp! The Ballad of Ronald Reagan’s head! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @doubledeucepod.bsky.social Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We’re on Apple, Android, Libsyn, Stitcher, Google, Spotify, Amazon, Radio.com, RadioPublic, pretty much anywhere they got podcasts, you can find the Deuce! Podcast logo art by Jason Keezer! Find his art onl

The Notes: Will’s mom is stalking him, but the police refuse to act! The dwarves know us as Deucedoublin! If you don’t hashtag, Nelson will die! The Peter Pan performance where nobody clapped! Tinkerbell on the Challenger! This was your fault, kids, not NASA! We did it, we solved racism! Diff’rent Strokes to Obama to us! Judy Blume’s snake cult! Ramona Quimby was one of the Manson women! Why you so stingy with the fudge, Scholastic Book Fair!? Fudge truths! Know your fudge dealer, kids! Kid cocaine! 9 is the perfect age for starting Breaking Bad! That O. Henry does it again! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @doubledeucepod.bsky.social Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We’re on Apple, Android, Libsyn, Stitcher, Google, Spotify, Amazon, Radio.com, RadioPublic, pretty much anywhere they got podcasts, you can find the Deuce! Podcast logo art by

Father’s Day zoom! Happy day, Dads! The Notes: Nelson’s cat is learning! Will has a new theory! Even for Topeka, that would be wild! Will’s trying too hard to prove time travel! Tiny motorcycle salesman or tiny motorcycle salesman!? Nelson has several red lines re: public bathroom sexuality! Air Bud time travel clearly exists (there’s no rule that says a dog can’t travel through time)! Does Sarah Mathews own an iron!? What, I’m not Iron Bud! Nelson is not a golden retriever! FOIA LPD about that time traveling dog! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @doubledeucepod.bsky.social Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We’re on Apple, Android, Libsyn, Stitcher, Google, Spotify, Amazon, Radio.com, RadioPublic, pretty much anywhere they got podcasts, you can find the Deuce! Podcast logo art by Jason Keezer! Find his art online at Keezograms! Intro & O

Live Episode 500, the Penultimate Live Show, from the upstairs at Sinkers Lounge & Blade and Timber in Lawrence, Kansas! With a cavalcade of guests: Jason Keezer, Chelsea, Jacqueline Grunau, Librarian Lauren, Loren Saunders (we got double Laorens!), Shawn Franklin, Brian Moss, David, and Jeanne Averill! The Notes: Happy Pride! Jaq is working the bar! Jason Keezer’s 30-year Christmas break! Will’s secret files! Therapy + Shampoo! The tiger is for business, the marmot is for pleasure! Inside-out umbrella (not a sex thing)! Lawrence: More Than Prisons! Sassy Sasquatch Revelations! I Grew Up Sasquatch Bait! The leading sasquatch PTSD therapist! Rand al’Thor, human bartender! Will’s nipple catastrophe! The Ballad of When Will & Jaq Saw a Lady! How Dolores Umbridge Got Her Groove Back! Another victim of Sarah Mathews’s teeth! There’s always something sticky at work! There are places Nelson just shouldn’t go! Piss detective! I wasn’t aware that sasquatches are real piss freaks! Our man in KC! Loren has live