Double Deuce Podcast

The Notes: Will is getting down with the sickness! Disease: The Movie! Monkeys where there shouldn't be monkeys! Being from the future is no excuse to be a creep! #169 in Nigeria (nice)! Nelson's seminar on traveling back in time! Not enough time travelers prep their pop culture analogies! It's a real Time Cop meets Harry and the Hendersons situation! Time travelers and the people in the past they've come to save/kill/impregnate, etc. need to realize the situation requires a lot of give and take (and I don't just mean the impregnating *wink*)! No French-Canadians in a dystopia! Happy New Year! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @doubledeucepod.bsky.social Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We're on Apple, Android, Libsyn, Stitcher, Google, Spotify, Amazon, Radio.com, RadioPublic, pretty much anywhere they got podcasts, you can find the Deuce! P

So sorry for the delay! Holidays are crazy! But oh-my-my, she's worth the wait! We're here now: Will is just waking up, Nelson is stoned, we're ready to celebrate the holidays with you, and maybe most importantly give you something to listen to while heading to your festive family destinations! The Notes: Astrophysics! Will is concerned by the Anti-Bang! Mornings are not for science! We need a speed-dial scientist! Are you a scientist and do you want to be OUR scientist!? Will's the bad cop this episode! Dot-matrix printers are the platonic ideal of Geordi no to the utility vs Geordi yes to the aesthetics! Printers 2: Judgement Day! Nelson knows when an old gray mare ain't what she used to be! It's a metaphor for everything, but in a printing way! Nelson is canonically pro-robot, but these killer printers have him buggin'! Ghost guns and wobble legs are a deadly combo! That's how they Clockwork Orange these printers into Terminators! How to embarrass a printer! Shaq's gonna get those nuclear codes! Taekwondo

The Notes: Will's musical endeavors have evolved yet again! "We like this one," say wife and son! The gap, and the minding of it! In America, the gap minds you! Space age 70's technology! Nelson is the one without hope this time! AIDS is back and better than ever! Middle class Bob Cratchit! Sports Corner! Are you ready for some football (talk)!? Barring executive level bribery, Will's team has been eliminated! Less knees, mo problems! Get yourself one of those white lady knees! Will is gonna forget about you, Simple Minds! Is it really kidnapping if you only take them out for ice cream!? One score games? Tired. Twilight squeakers? Inspired! Why do you hate women, Stephanie Meyer!? Two lawyers enter, one lawyer leaves! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @doubledeucepod.bsky.social Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We're on Apple, Android, Libsy

527: Quarter-Kravitzing   The Notes: We're here for the children! Important context for our proclamation concerning children! Our stalwart legal ally and bulwark against accountability, Spicy Beef Gaus aka Beefyboy, esq.! Sexy facts! Nelson knows a lawyer is just an adman with more rules! Will was a Bad Santa! Will's hubris drove him to try Rikering a couch! Only Picard's office had a high-back chair. Legs go in front of the chair, not over the top, William! Jaunty but sexual! Droids vs sexbots, sexual-style! Men would fuck it! Ladies love that Santa ass! It was only a Quarter-Kravitz, your honor! Quarter-Kravitz vs The Full Kravitz! Bit too drafty this winter's eve for any kind of Kravitz! Potential reasons for the handful of times Santa has definitely had his dick out in somebody else's home that don't involve your mommy! Milk Stains are Santa's nightmare! OG cartoons that were phoning it in! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @d

The Notes: It was the second recording in person and in a row, so these notes are not good! We were still celebrating the Thanksgiving holiday, though, and still have guests! Amber Fraley, Skye Maus, Ed Parker, and Ollie! Here's those bad notes: The silence! Simon & Garfunkel & salad! Top law dog! The old judicial switcheroo! Gideon's Trumpet 2: Double Jeopardy! The trombone did it! Voyage of the Mimi! Ed & Skye explain Thanksgiving! Roll talk! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @doubledeucepod.bsky.social Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We're on Apple, Android, Libsyn, Stitcher, Google, Spotify, Amazon, Radio.com, RadioPublic, pretty much anywhere they got podcasts, you can find the Deuce! Podcast logo art by Jason Keezer! Find his art online at Keezograms! Intro & Outro featuring Rob Schulte! Check out his many podcasts! Br

The Notes: Amber Fraley, Skye Maus, and Ed Parker are here to ring in the holiday week! Vow of silence! Voices carry! The talk police! Talking jingoism blues! The upside is you get Thanksgiving! Stuffing is bread pudding that fucks! Skeletor with AIDS! The oldest fucker here! Navy, the party military branch! Our long war against scurvy! The funnest guy running the reactor! The podcast special relationship! Pounding us up! The listening issue! Marketing genius! Heely bowling! Whoopsie! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @doubledeucepod.bsky.social Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We're on Apple, Android, Libsyn, Stitcher, Google, Spotify, Amazon, Radio.com, RadioPublic, pretty much anywhere they got podcasts, you can find the Deuce! Podcast logo art by Jason Keezer! Find his art online at Keezograms! Intro & Outro featuring Rob Schulte! Ch

The Notes: Mouths vs ears! This podcast is not for eating! Favorite German! Mad King vs Kramer vs Kramer! The impenetrable text that is Superman 3! Will's book is out now and available at The Raven! Nelson's keeping his brain high and tight! The touche was implied! This doorknob isn't hot from fire, it's hot from masturbation! The New Coke of eugenics! Is long division still a thing!? That way lies Hitler! Those magical, masturbating Hardy Boys! Release the masturbation cut, Penguin Random House! Dynamite, clean blood, swords, unedited erotica, you name it! This one's for the Craigs! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @doubledeucepod.bsky.social Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We're on Apple, Android, Libsyn, Stitcher, Google, Spotify, Amazon, Radio.com, RadioPublic, pretty much anywhere they got podcasts, you can find the Deuce! Podcast log

The Notes: Nelson's mic is a traitor! Little Guy Button vs Big Guy Button! Will is skipping the life tutorial! Where school does and doesn't fail us! Nelson has nothing personal against Mrs. Dalloway! Hamster coma! Keeping up with the sandwiches! Potatoes and grain in a Predator-style, flexing hand-clasp! Teachers, bookmark this episode! No respect for cabbage! Will is a cabbage apologist! Cabbage v Lettuce: Dawn of Ruffage! Real self-worth comes from within, not from without, cabbage and/or Will! Q&A for Will's book, Day After the Waste Land, this Tuesday night, 7pm at the Raven! Peel that man's layers! Apologies, Mr. Eliot's Ghost! Hit the hashtag, Mr. Eliot's Ghost! The TS Eliot is Nice to a Child Domino that inevitably leads to the Digital Removal of Human-Cat Buttholes Domino! Mother, father, please explain the buttholes! A real cat weighs in! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @doubledeucepod.bsky.social Facebook: www.fac

Post football zoomies. The Notes: Will's wife, Jaq, is a known fibber! Who wants to marry us!? Negotiations are open for Will's hand! More jousting, please! No time to joust, Doctor Jones! The fine print of getting the grail out of that cave! Billy Mills! What we're watching, kind of! Beats and vibes! 90's – 00's disaster movies! What if everything was on fire!? Can you handle it, grandpa!? Go to Will's book party this Tuesday at Maceli's at 7pm! What if it never gets better than this!? Coming from your phones and/or moms! Your dad, who was killed by robots! #MyMomsNumberIs! Summer blockbustering! Goldilocks porridge, in a legal sense! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @doubledeucepod.bsky.social Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We're on Apple, Android, Libsyn, Stitcher, Google, Spotify, Amazon, Radio.com, RadioPublic, pretty much anywhere t

The Notes: It's an ear podcast! Heraldry! Them Weapons is streaming! You're getting 2 bad cops! Metaphorical cops! Lawrence is a lot like the movie Backdraft! Kurt Russell is our fire department now! Firefighters are the cool cousins of cops! Will's Top 5 Things to Make You Prettier! Emulating the European penis! That's why Steve Jobs wore turtlenecks and was a huge dick! The German Episode! The regrettable Hasselhoff era! Efficiency! Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this paywall! Secret hotness judges! Our Top 5 Lists are a bargain with 2 bonus things! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @doubledeucepod.bsky.social Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We're on Apple, Android, Libsyn, Stitcher, Google, Spotify, Amazon, Radio.com, RadioPublic, pretty much anywhere they got podcasts, you can find the Deuce! Podcast logo art by Jason Keezer! Find his art onl

The Notes: Will’s in an Ogden Nash vibe today! Giving back to the community for the love of the game! Just playing the hits! Will’s mother was a cello and his father was a French horn! The micropenis of the orchestral set! At knifepoint, Nelson would choose the oboe! Old-timey music lawyer! You’ll never be Spicy Beef Gaus, you’ll never even match him! Terrifying hypothetical final form! Like Galadriel with the one ring up in this! French philosophy and Spider-man! Humping a keyboard! As above, so below! Effecting Penetration! It’s Will’s new one-man play! The penetration is reminiscent of Godot! It’s a metaphor! The implications were unclear and unsettling! The classic trope of the jungle lawyer! The venn diagram enters the jungle, as you will! You’re in the jungle, baby! These wax wings become an anchor! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @doubledeucepod.bsky.social Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/D

The Notes: Notes are a little squigdgey this time but it’s cool, because time is a constant, and so you’ve already heard the episode, and these notes aren’t a preview of what’s to come, but merely a charming reminder of what you’ve already experienced, are currently experiencing, and will always experience! Anyhoo, Notes: Extreme focus! Your mom is having an affair! You probably didn’t want to find out this way! Here’s a cat!!! Remember to breathe! Muscle memory! Infinite possibilities! Robot samurai warrior poets! Remember kids, it’s 1) Life Support, 2) Shields, 3) Weapons, 4) Engines, with 3 and 4 possibly reversed! Alien relations! Getting hot-boxed with time knowledge! Insider trading for sure *wink*! Foreshadowing, one of the tools of those with time knowledge! Time knowledge is a doible-edged sword! We know when we’re all going to die, and which stocks to push before qe2 of next year! Moist taxidermy! Don’t use a rolodex in this day and age! Mr. FBI, we gave you all the clues! This podcast if for everyo

The Notes: The Deuce continues to double! Scientists are baffled, and they are afraid! Suns, how do they work!? Less-Fewer Blindness! Will slept with less and murdered fewer! Honey-trapped by a grammar prostitute! The British pronunciation of kaleidoscope! Would Will not play ball, or did he play entirely too much ball!? Will doesn’t have enough balls! Hip deep in disgrace! Nelson specifies the requirements for his funeral! Get on your bikes and ride! Fraternal orders! The other side of the diorama! The Hall of Nelson! Taxidermy vs animatronics! The Ballad of Bummercles! The front row will be dry-aged with smoke! Will’s book is coming soon! Go to lfkwasteland.com for event info, purchase details, extras, and more! Fruit plus leather equals yum! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @doubledeucepod.bsky.social Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We’

The Notes: We’re doing a job! Football talk! I thought that town smelled bad on the outside! Old-timey baseball in old-timey England! National Lactation Day! The traditional relays! It’s like a Japanese gameshow! Smaller roads and more assholes! The Great American Meat Pie! No more than 20% bat meat! Keep it gooey in there! Mustard up our fudge! German mole’! Germany’s not exactly batting 1.000 on great ideas! Gods were dying and monsters were being born! Will’s book is coming out! Tuesday 11/4 pre-release party at Maceli’s! Tuesday 11/11 VIP Q&A book release at The Raven! Go to www.lfkwasteland.com for info! Inside info for the listeners: a book art easter egg! Should we get silly!? We’re stuck in the past and we don’t know what we’re doing! A big 3rd down! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @doubledeucepod.bsky.social Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/re

The Notes: We’re a day late, but a pound strong! Coming up on a decade! The Applebee’s Experience! Helping the Brits feel at home by taking them to Medieval Times! There’s always more food! Will wants to chase some gator tail! Nelson reps Captain Jack’s! Crab knuckles, yum! Seeing Star Trek IV with a coke dealer! Bring back expository tour guide scenes or the terrorists win! Happy birthday, Chad! Walmart has ideas! Don’t come at Will with your sweet mixin’s! Come to Will’s book pre-release party, 11/4 at Maceli’s, and the actual release a week later at the Raven! A lil’ Mikey Senften shoutout! The age of strip clubbing! Perfect for a tombstone or a tin of mints! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @doubledeucepod.bsky.social Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We’re on Apple, Android, Libsyn, Stitcher, Google, Spotify, Amazon, Radio.com, RadioPub

The Notes: Prepare your ears! All ears welcome! Quick Sports Corner! Go to Will’s panel this Saturday, 2pm, at Washburn! Get ready for Will’s book events the first 2 Tuesdays in November! History of the MacArthur Genius Grant! Icing on the genius cake! Alfred “Dy-no-mite!” Nobel! Nelson is the Power Forward, Will is the Goalie! Come party with the Deuce! Insufferable nerd stuff! Will was Long Walking! Long cocaine walking! Recipe for a heart attack! Where’s the crowd kissing! Mess around and get a warning! Meticulous recreation of the poop scenes! Let’s hear it for the poop! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @doubledeucepod.bsky.social Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We’re on Apple, Android, Libsyn, Stitcher, Google, Spotify, Amazon, Radio.com, RadioPublic, pretty much anywhere they got podcasts, you can find the Deuce! Podcast logo art by

The Notes: See you in the gulags! A gulag with a view! Ours will be the most fun gulag! Modern day Hogan’s Heroes! One Crazy Gulag! Celebrity gulag pals! We need a Lane Dobbler in our gulag! Filling up our gulag team! Our gulag vs the rich kids’ gulag next door! The Inter-Gulag Games! There aren’t enough boat movies these days! Will vs the Gruffalo! Philip vs Boris! Will loves getting slapped by ladies! Coffee talk! Will likes that warm milky! The line between helpful and condescending! Our gulag coffee shop speakeasy! Reverse Boss Hogg! Are you our missing piece!? One robot, Mr. Regatta! Robots, they are just like us! Lions vs terminators! A brief bit of love for Star Trek 6! Multiple Deuces over the line! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @doubledeucepod.bsky.social Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We’re on Apple, Android, Libsyn, Stitcher

The Notes: Morning Deuce! Nelson is getting things done today! Will plugs it up! Will’s Wasteland book is coming soon! Nelson’s money is all tied up in prospecting! I can set you up with a gold tooth guy! Subscription has its advantages! Samuel L Jackson is looking out for us! Will is looking to get his nut! Will has Samuel L Jackson’s nuts in his mouth! See Will at the Kansas Book Festival on Saturday, September 20th! Squirming tips for extra squirming! The scientific reverse of a wet t-shirt contest! It’s a wet back and ass non-contest! Your mother, the ventriloquist doll! It’s all in the eyes! Now your squirm is squirming, squirmy! Nelson is a broad-spectrum life coach! The fabled poop edition! Will has a reading on election day! Occasional Roady! Shirt mortgage! Cut out your money middleman! Diagonal is the direction of the future! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @doubledeucepod.bsky.social Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleD

The Notes: Coach vibes! Are we coaches, or are we umpires!? Little Timmy’s birthday! Little Timmy’s Dark Backstory! Little Timmy’s nazi birthday party! Somebody’s starting to sound like one of Little Timmy’s birthday guests! Will finished his time machine! Nelson isn’t a time machine doctor! The goal is bad science! Wilford Brimley vs Morgan Freeman! Our impeccable Wilford Brimley impressions! Half-dog, half-fly! Lost in the science sauce! The balls our own making! Time travel is the clear future of sales! We’re the Michael Crichton’s Timeline of podcasts! So, anyway, that’s why we were late! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Bluesky: @doubledeucepod.bsky.social Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We’re on Apple, Android, Libsyn, Stitcher, Google, Spotify, Amazon, Radio.com, RadioPublic, pretty much anywhere they got podcasts, you can find the Deuce! Po

The Notes: Cleaning your ears with joy! The 3 Worst Times to Fall Asleep! Fame, do we want to live forever!? Family, or new, undiscovered islands!? You’re their immortal great-great-grandpa, they have to invite you to the cookout! The trip-me-ups and pitfalls of immortality! Bill Shavehole! Good advice for mortal and immortal alike! Kids, always have a clean, new identity on you! Once again we spit on the grave our fallen adversary! The fatal flaw of Applebee’s! A top notch frame-up! There are better ways to get rid of grease! There are very few accidental war crimes! The only war crimes our listeners have committed are ones that can be legitimately explained away, and yes we realize that’s the excuse of a lot of war criminals! @SpicyBeefGaus’s experience handling alleged war criminals! Leave us a detailed message cataloguing your war crime deets! While we don’t condone war crimes, we are shockingly popular amongst war criminals! Don’t look at us, in re: that war criminal discount, that was a third-party disc