Dwarfcasts (a Red Dwarf Podcast)

"There's two scythes to every story." In this very exciting instalment of our journey through all things Smegazine, Cappsy, Danny and Ian are joined by two very special guests - Chris Barrie's nipples. Listen along as the five of us discuss neural networks, yuppies, Kochanski's giant forehead, Norman Wisdom's popularity in Albania, whether or not Back To Reality was actually any good, and how The Inquisitor is accidentally responsible for the crimes of Jeffrey Epstein. It's best to have the magazine in front of you as you listen. If you don't have an actual copy, scans are available on archive.org or Stasis Leak, you freeloading bastard.Show notes G&TV covers Cyberzone John's ancient Episode Orders article, and Christopher Wickham's oft-linked-to Red Dwarf Broadcast Guide We couldn't find the footage of Norman Wisdom pissing about ahead of Albania vs England, but here's a bit of C5's coverage to prove we weren't making it up Dave's competition winning Inquisitor vs Judge Dredd comic FAO Jane K

"If it wasn't shit, it would be perfect." We thought we ought to do something slightly out of the ordinary for our landmark 169th episode, so here's two specials in one - it's time for some Christmas Waffles. Once again our lovely listeners slash readers provided us with a veritable smorgasbord of tasty topics, which we gobbled up whilst writing fan-fiction about the ship's Secret Santa, sharing our ultimate Red Dwarf Christmas wishes, pondering the best box sets of all time, weighing up the current state of the fandom, and coming up with a really good idea for a Christmas special. Plus, like all great festive episodes, we end on a good old sing-song. We apologise for nothing.Show notes Our fellow Dwarfy podcasters / YouTubers: The Garbage Podcast, Everyone's Dead Dave, Shipwrecked & Comatose, Better Than Life, Red Dwarf Nerd, Gallifrey Gals All the leaves are brown... Frank Kelly's Christmas Countdown

"Disgustingly Northern" As we continue our series revisiting the now decades-old DVD releases, the main thing we re-disc-over this time out is that Series V tempts us down conversational side roads like nothing else. So join Cappsy, Danny and Ian as we discuss Juliet May's short-lived tenure as director, attempt to get to the bottom of conflicting stories about Red Dwarf USA, and uncover more examples of institutional racism within the Metropolitan Police. We also speculate as to what the visual effects workshop smelt like, hunt down pictures of Timothy Spall dressed as a pig, and confess the real reason behind our lukewarm response to the fan commentaries nearly twenty years ago. Strap yourself in, this is a waffley one.Show notes Ian's review from November 2004 A much more succinct explanation of what "crossing the line" means It's a fucking emu! Timothy Spall develops PTSD in The Tale of Little Pig Robinson Holoship Xtended - Pete Part Three did a complete edit while John Hoare posted one scene

"Magnum Ed Bye" It's been far too long, but we are finally back on the Rack to continue our odyssey through the wonderous world of early 90s publishing. Join Cappsy, Danny and Ian as we take a deep dive into the epic Jake Bullet story that graces the cover, welcome another legendary Red Dwarf fan writer to the fold, marvel at the versatility of Chris Barrie's face, discover an obscure sci-fi writer that none of us have heard of, and attempt to figure out why a parody of Red Dwarf USA bears absolutely no resemblance to Red Dwarf USA. Mostly though, we rip the absolute shit out of everyone who took part in the all-episodes survey. Without looking, see if you can guess what the people of 1992 thought the second worst episode ever was. The 1992 idiots.Show notes The famous Casablanca poster that the magazine's cover pastiches The Last Temptation of Kryten (the fan fiction that launched a thousand headcanons) Oh Bosanquet, Howard Goodall's second contribution to Not The Nine O'Clock News Disturbing conten

"Ribs and Pipes and Penises (oh my!)" Our voyage of re-disc-overy continues, as we tackle a most unusual release; the one that was out in the US before the UK, and that Young Cappsy managed to review before Young Ian for once. We rake over this bitterness as well as embarking on not one, not two, but three commentaries, forgoing the tradition of focusing on one big extra in favour of covering a handful of little bitty ones, the regular features that would otherwise be glossed over. Once again, we ensure that every single aspect of the release is discussed, and along the way we re-evaluate Hattie Hayridge's return to the role of Holly, try to get to the bottom of why the cast commentaries are so difficult to get through, and attempt to comprehensively solve the issues of both war and racism.Show notes Contemporary reviews from Cappsy, Ian and Ian again. Series IV Deleted Scenes commentary (2013) TOS article (via The Unofficial Archive) on stock footage in Red Dwarf The Smeg Ups Rough Cut The history

"Doctor Fitzwilliam: Village Rectologist" At 6:30pm on Tuesday 23rd August 1983, unsuspecting Radio 4 listeners were ambushed by the very first episode of a seminal new sketch show. Featuring a hugely talented cast, performing the work of two writers who were on the fast track to greatness, it was notable not only for its inherent quality, but for what it would eventually spawn. The programme was, of course, Son of Cliché, without which this podcast would not exist. So in a break from the usual format, we present our fortieth anniversary tribute in the form of a documentary, showcasing some highlights from the series, analysing what made it so great, and of course focusing on the moments that had the biggest influence on Red Dwarf. Think it was just Dave Hollins: Space Cadet that Rob and Doug drew upon? Think again.Show notes The complete series of Cliché and Son of Cliché on archive.org The original "Father of Dwarf" article, published nearly 20 years ago Our old SoC section on an ancient version of t

"The Manly Adventures of Buff Squidward" Rejoice, for our journey through the Smegazine archives continues with quite possibly the best issue yet. The first ever Duane Dibbley comeback! Tonnes of dirt on Red Dwarf USA! Loads of exciting news, some of which actually ended up happening! Some tedious prose pieces to keep us all grounded! Plus, we think we've uncovered the first published work of an acclaimed comics writer and Red Dwarf fan. All this and more, in far too much detail even by our standards.Show notes Colin Howard's artwork for the free poster Remade in America: The reality of remaking UK sitcoms Growing the Beard Craig Charles stars in Weather Watch Clive Swift from Keeping Up Appearances gives the worst official tie-in magazine interview of all time Ice to see you Two of Spandau Ballet sign for Melchester Rovers Tighten up the graphics on level 3

"The Gall of Gary Barlow" The third Red Dwarf DVD was released twenty years ago this November. It's time for another voyage of re-disc-overy, as we cast our minds back to a time of the online retail wild west, blossoming friendships and intense fansite rivalry. Although in practice, we probably spend more time reminiscing about our early Dimension Jump experiences than anything else, thanks to the choice of extra to receive the commentary treatment this time round, Hattie's DJ Diary. The surrounding, extremely waffley discussion takes in such topics as Red Dwarf's history with the AA, Craig Charles's overdue royalty payments, and farting in Ronnie Corbett's face. Each and every special feature is covered, we just hope that whatever you're using to watch your DVDs these days can actually access the menus...Show notes

"The fascist junta of the potato people" Back in the distant mists of time, when Ian first dreamt up the idea of getting Danny and I to read through all the Smegazines and record a podcast series about it, no doubt issues like this were front and centre of his mind. Historically significant pieces on ancient DJs? Check. Some hot Wraggy action? Check. Potatits? You bet ya. *gestures vaguely at insane original comic strips*? Uh-huh. Needless to say, this was a fun one.Show notes Danny's brother on Bad Influence - he's the one fist-pumping on the right of frame after the pool shot. Wiffle Lever To Full by Bob Fischer is the book in which Cappsy is carried off on the shoulders of his fellow Red Dwarf fans. The Angel Hotel in Northampton was somewhat bigger and grander than our initial research suggested. It burnt down in 2012 and is currently being redeveloped. Clip from Parallel 9 with Robert and Craig. A good blog about the making of Parallel 9. The Abso-smegging-lutely Unofficial Red Dwarf Cookbo

"Could you make Patrick Stewart come in the middle of my television programme, please?" The second Red Dwarf DVD was released twenty years ago (as of a month and a half ago). Any bets as to whether we can get the next one done before this November? Back in early 2003 we had barely had chance to watch the first DVD more than two or three thousand times before another release was thrust into our sweaty palms. As is expected, the Series 2 DVD was very closely related to the first so you'd be forgiven for thinking this release might be a little less interesting, but as you will hear Danny, Ian and Cappsy still had plenty to talk about as they continue on their voyage re-disc-overy.Show notes "Very very nearly 20 years ago" is now "slightly over 20 years ago". "New Years Eve this year" is now "New Years Eve last year." 17-year-old Ian's breakdown of the A-Z Dalek 63•88 identifying which Daleks were used James O'Brien reveals all on RHLSTP Saint and Greavsie meet Donald Trump Tom Scott talking about s

"I've got a lot of Red Dwarf to give." Well then, this is a little bit special. Fresh from the fantastic news that the Red Dwarf legal kerfuffle is officially resolved, we speak exclusively to Rob Grant himself - the co-creator of the programme, who's now returning to the franchise after an absence of close to 30 years. We found out exactly what the legal resolution means for the future of the show, got clarification on the new status quo for Rob and Doug, discovered what new projects are being pursued, discussed possible collaborations with established cast and crew, and touched upon merchandise, continuity, technology, Marilyn Monroe, and much much more.Show notes William Hartnell wasn't dead by the time Patrick Troughton took over as The Doctor, but we're too cowardly to correct the actual co-creator of Red Dwarf to his face. Rob's now-forgotten mention of an American approach Rob soliciting for fan feedback on Twitter Doug's Radio Times interview Two and a half hours on whether or not The Lion

"Let wideons be wideons" Ian Symes, Jonathan Capps and Daniel Stephenson are delighted to announce that the ongoing DwarfCast hiatus has been resolved. Moving onwards and upwards, Ian, Cappsy and Danny hope to launch many iterations of DwarfCasts covering various media, working again with Jimmy Nail and other valued partners, and wish each other the very best. Smoke a kipper, DwarfCasts will eat all your kippers!!Show notes A collection of 1970s tumble dryers. We couldn't find the clip from You Bet! of the German man identifying stamps purely from the taste of the glue, but trust us, it's phenomenal.

This is a most unusual DwarfCast following a most unusual weekend for your intrepid G&T team. The three of us gathered together in the same place for this first and only time this year, and that place was Liverpool. The reason? Seb Patrick's 40th birthday, and we weren't going to let the small detail that he himself has passed on stop us from celebrating. We wanted to share the festivities with some of the people who knew Seb, be they friends, family or just those who knew him through his work, in the Red Dwarf community and beyond. So join us for a somewhat experimental travelogue, taking in Danny's first ever football experience, a trip to a certain Liverpudlian pub, a game of pool on a very important table and our first visit to Seb's memorial bench at Crosby Beach. We promised to record a DwarfCast there if the petition was successful, and thanks to your help, it was.Show notes Twitter thread of our pics from the weekend The Aigburth Arms plaque, as it looked when it was new The sex swing/Grav-

The first Red Dwarf DVD was released twenty years ago today. Yes, we regret to inform you that you're old. The fourth of November 2002 is a date indelibly printed on the brains of fans who spent months being teased and tantalised into a frenzy. Kids today with your YouTubes and your Netflixes and your Ministry of Sound may not appreciate just how big of a deal it was for Dwarf to join the digital revolution in such a wholehearted way, so gather round and listen to your Uncles Cappsy, Danny and Ian as we kick off a new series of DwarfCast retrospectives. For each edition of Re-Disc-overy, we're going to be sharing our memories of each DVD release, looking back on the media and fandom landscapes of the time, and of course revisiting and reassessing the many, many special features. Plus, we've picked out one extra per series to receive the commentary treatment, and this time it could only be Launching Red Dwarf. So get that lovely red box off your shelf, remove the dust from your ageing DVD player and join us a

Hello hello and welcome back onto the rack. In a shock twist that even we didn't expect, we've actually come good on our promise to start up our regular DwarfCasting routine again. This time Cappsy, Danny and Ian are going page by page through Issue 6 of the Smegazine, which gives them plenty of opportunity to be all smug and self regarding about those early 90s idiots and their casual ableism and homophobia. Hurrah!

In my own personal and humble opinion, Red Dwarf fans are very lucky to have something like the US pilots. The mystery and excitement of them during the 90s and the black market in increasingly terrible copies are a defining part of many of our fandoms. Despite the fact we've still been unable to source a decent quality copy of either pilots, the time has come for Ian, Danny and Cappsy to commentate on these pilots 30 years after they were ill-conceived.Show notes Pilot #1. Pilot #2. With thanks to the G&T Malcolm in the Middle correspondent Stephen Hegarty for his... contribution. Craig Bierko's 30th anniversary message for Dimension Jump XX. Red Dwarf USA clips featured in ABC's The Best TV Shows That Never Were. The early edit. A full and mostly clean version of the RD USA theme tune. Todd Rundgren's Wikipedia entry. Rob Grant's buttski to return to America?

Surprise! We didn't plan to have a summer break, but a summer break we indeed have had in order to recharge our batteries and hide from the dreaded Burnout Monster. We've got a bit of editing catchup to do, though, so we're breaking with tradition and giving you another Smegazine Rack today while editing on the Red Dwarf USA episode is finished (well, started). Grab your complementary copy of the mag here.Show notes Danny's much stolen 'Smegopoly' board. We can confirm that Rob Grant *did* say "tomato juice" in his interview with Vox Magazine. Thanks to @reddwarfzone and @plus_haut for the scans. Mark Gatiss and David Walliams's Doctor Who Night sketch that features a Red Dwarf t-shirt and poster. Bourbonhenge.

It seems a lot has happened since our last episode of The Smegazine Rack. We've launched and re-launched our incredibly original game Smegle and... well, that's about all that has happened, hasn't it? Yes, yes, definitely. Anyway please join your incompetent (by design) hosts, Ian, Danny and Cappsy as they climb up into the cab, fire up the slumbering beast and crack on... with the job of reading through every episode of the Smegazine.Show notes Danny's mysterious co-star revealed.

If you're reading this then there's a decent chance that at some point in your childhood or early adulthood you sat down on a Friday night and enjoyed the feast of mechanical violence that was Robot Wars. For older Millennials and young Gen Xers watching this show went hand in hand with being a Red Dwarf fan, not least because the host was, from series 2 onwards, Craig Charles himself. And it's for that reason Robot Wars qualifies for our series of 'Dwarf-adjacent' commentaries as we seize with both hands the opportunity to talk at length about a show very dear to our hearts for... quite a long time.Show notes Christopher Wickham's Ludicrously Niche blog posts on Robot Wars. Robot Wars Series 1 trailer, featuring Norman Lovett. Cheesoid hate self. Cheesoid kill self. Yes, there was a Robot Wars Celebrity Special in which Vic Reeves operated Diotoir, and yes it's on YouTube. Ant from Behemoth has a little strop. That time Jeremy Clarkson was nearly decapitated. Craig's other '90s technology-based

Come, rest your tired ears on our giant rack. As sure as 2 follows 1, so it is that 3 follows 2 and Ian, Danny and Cappsy have a good read of the third Smegazine issue. Also featured: Badge talk! The End end! Danny vs Cappsy quiz! Caption competition results! Letters! Slander!Show notes Why the Cat's introduction frame in the comic strip is a Tory. Cappsy mentions a video of a cat spooning food into its mouth. Here is said TikTok video, reposted onto Twitter for the benefit old people. One of thousands of incidents of deadly spiders being found in bananas. One of the good fan fictions: Homecoming by Paul Giachetti.