How Do You Feel? A Self-help Guru's Quest For Your Brain

Do you like your fat body? I am the only person who cares about you. Yawn I'm going to die soon. You are mortal. Say it with me: I am going to die. I want you to have a good time in life. It is about what you do with what you have. Crazy fun like in high school. Life should be fun and drinking is fun. I want you to steal something. It's illegal, but not as bad as doing drugs or killing someone. You should make people happy. You can buy a house in Queens. I like people who breathe. Love people whether they love you or not. I am very good with charades so I could speak with my hands to a monk and I made him laugh. I allowed him to accept death. Having fun equals an acceptance of death. Fun equals death. Accept. I am under the weather. Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

When your laundry is all done, you've got it going on. Your P.O.V. on things that stress you out is mixed up. You down with POV? Yeah you know me! Be grateful. Have passion. I put soap in the hole. I fold socks for five minutes. If you're not enjoying life, you're slapping the face of God. Your POV with relationships: communication is about listening and responding. I'll rubber neck all I want. My POV is this: I have a right to do whatever I want to do. I love to have a good time. A movie lasts 2 hours, same as a dinner out. My POV on tv is this: it's a waste of time. You're a sad sack of crap. Don't deny it. You think something is going to change, pop out of nowhere, a gnome. Nothing happens without action. Without force there is no impending energy. Please find a hand mirror. This is the you I'd slap. a goat in Saudi Arabia wanted to eat grass and lay down. The sheppardess wanted to slaughter the goat to buy a burka and eat the other half. She paid a man 40 dracchmas to catch the goat. She went into prosti

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How do you feel? If you said bad, I'd slap your face. When any minute of your life is sad, it's like slapping the face of God. People love to get slapped. The pain they inflict on others is twice as bad as when it's on them. You need to be familiar with the pain you inflict on other people, so you don't do it. What do you need to be happy? Happiness. Happiness doesn't come from people. You make YOURSELF happy. This world is a world of happiness. What makes God happy? You being happy makes God happy. Happiness is the way to happiness. Fat men who drive tiny cars are not happy, and if they are, I will shoot myself in the forehead. I'm a human being. I'm jealous. I have something wrong with me. I pretend that the people who have more than me have things wrong with them and those things are worse than the things that are wrong with me. You ever pretend you're in an alternate universe? You watch the movie "Truman Show," and think, "That's my life!" If I knew now what I know then, I'd be directing the show, not in

When someone asks you how do you feel, you say "good" even if you have been kicked in the face by a boot by someone you love. Lie to yourself and the people you know, because it's the only way you're going to get happy. The bad is going to go away. I was baking an apple pie and found it to be a metaphor for life. There might be a pubic hair on your pillow. You can plan, but things might come out like crap. Move on. It's good. Life is good. You say good because you could be dead. Come to my suicide seminars if you want. It's better to be stupid and on welfare than to be dead. Can I get an Amen? Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

You can be as outstanding as you want to be. Are you willing to give up everything to be the best gymnast in the world? The world is waiting for your talent. And you do nothing. The solution is effort. You need a passion. You can be a better people. I don't make this hard. Don't do it you don't want to. Don't come crying to me when you look old, become fat or have no job security. If you are over 40 and you aren't where you want to be in life, you're f'd because you look old, you have no energy and you're impatient. When you accept a crappy life...you accept a crappy life. Bumps in the back of Chevron parking lot with Tina. When you give up, your life is over. Enjoy smacking God in the face. Pretty soon you're going to be dead and the world will be a better place for it. Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

I don't feel good today, ya gotta fake it before you can make it, your body affects your mind, words affect how we feel, We hang around people who make us feel bad, people who talk about other people are talking about themselves, you can't make someone happy, I feel good even though I don't believe it, ride the train dammit, some people just don't get it, take my suicide course, is tonight the night you'll rid the world of your wretched self?, lawn cae housing code, suicide is not the answer, shut up, killing yourself hurts and is final, you can still feel a turkey, do you feel good? Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

Open up your mouth and say good. You've been alive since you were born. We smack the face of God when we waste the lives we are given. I am having a moment. Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

What would it be like to live in a basketball? You're probably doing it wrong. I am the maker of your future. if you let me. Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

I can make the windows open, the lamps flicker and Mahalia Jackson rise from her cruddy grave. Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

Have joy within yourself. We're all like snowflakes. Who controls who hits us with chairs? Two McDonalds in Albequerque. Pizza. Only poor people say that none of this matters. Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli