Dialogue On Divorce

We all assume that when we get divorced, things are going to get better. But when a marriage ends, communication is usually at a low point. And that communication style tends to stick, which causes ongoing conflict in the co-parenting relationship. So, what can you do to interrupt that conflict dynamic with your ex? How do you build a constructive, positive co-parenting relationship? Jenni Rock is the creator of Co-Parenting Without Conflict, a coaching practice that helps divorced parents exit toxic relationships and communicate in a way that prioritizes the needs of their children. Jenni brings a wealth of knowledge and expertise to the table, helping parents navigate the often-challenging terrain of co-parenting after a divorce. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Jenni joins Katherine to share the story of her own horrific divorce and explain how that experience informs her work in co-parenting conflict resolution. Jenni discusses the most common conflicts in co-parenting relationships and descr

Do you suspect that your soon-to-be-ex-spouse is hiding money? If your partner is trying to avoid equitable distribution in a divorce settlement, they might be keeping assets from you or transferring money into a secret account. But is it necessary to hire a forensic accountant? Or can you do the job yourself? Tracey Coenen is a renowned forensic accountant and the brains behind the Divorce Money Guide. She is also the author of the book Find Me the Money and host of the podcast of the same name. Tracey is passionate about helping people who feel powerless in the divorce process regain their confidence and take control of their money. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Tracey joins Katherine to explain how to identify when your spouse is hiding money and where they might be keeping it. Tracey walks us through the common reasons why people hide money in a marriage and describes why financial infidelity is just as devastating as romantic infidelity—if not more. Listen in for Tracey’s insight on initi

What story are you telling yourself about your divorce? Blaming your ex may seem justified, but that story only gets you stuck in a victim mentality with no control over your own life. So, how do you rewrite your story and start building an empowered life post-divorce? Kimberly Kelley is the neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) practitioner and hypnotherapist behind Reinvent Yourself, a program that helps newly single people create the life they want. She is also the author of No Blame No Shame: Living an Empowered Life After Divorce, where she describes the profound changes she made after her own marriage of 30 years came to an end. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Kimberly joins Katherine to discuss how the stories we tell ourselves affect our experience of divorce. Kimberly explains how the internal shame of another failed marriage drove her fears around what other people would think and describes how hypnotherapy empowered her to imagine a life beyond divorce. Listen in for Kimberly’s advice on

Wonder what your kids are experiencing during the divorce process? What if you could ask adult children of divorce for advice? Grace Casper became a child of divorce at the age of eight. By age 10, she had written the first draft of her book, Dear Parents: Notes from a Child of Divorce by Grace Casper. Today, Grace runs Divorce Tips from Kids, a platform dedicated to helping families navigate divorce, and hosts Divorce: What I Wish My Parents Knew, a podcast about divorce from the kids’ perspective. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Grace joins Katherine to describe the pressure she felt to be the source of her parents’ happiness after their divorce. Grace explains what inspired her to write about her parents’ divorce and how we can apply Grace’s story in Dear Parents to our own individual circumstances. Listen in for insight on the commoditization of kids in divorce negotiations and learn how Grace’s resources can help you improve the experience of divorce for your children. Topics Covered Wha

Worried thoughts about the future generate anxiety. And divorce begets an uncertain future. So, it’s no surprise that anxiety is such a common emotion in divorce. But how do you navigate that anxiety without getting overwhelmed in the process? Bernadette Purcell is Founder of Shore Behavioral Health, a practice that helps patients with anxiety disorders enjoy more fulfilling lives and supports individuals and couples through all phases of divorce. A licensed clinical social worker in private practice since 2008, Bernadette is also the author of Divorced as F* in Seven Spiritual Steps. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Bernadette joins Katherine to discuss how worry impacts the divorce process and what to do about it. Bernadette explains how to prevent worry from turning into anxiety, challenging you to surrender to the fact that divorce is happening and leverage acceptance to take the next right step for you. Listen in for insight on getting comfortable with uncertainty and learn Bernadette’s to

Divorce makes us feel vulnerable. And many of us lawyer up and come out swinging to protect ourselves. But what if there’s a more effective way to reach an agreement with your ex? What if a little self-reflection early on can help you improve the process of working with a divorce professional? Jacinta Gallant is a respected lawyer, mediator and educator recognized internationally for her innovative approach to conflict resolution training. Jacinta’s Our Family in Two Homes resources for divorce professionals help their clients prepare for effective dispute resolution. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Jacinta joins Katherine to share her journey from cutthroat divorce litigator to effective mediator, describing how she leverages curiosity to understand clients on a deeper level and deliver what they need. Jacinta walks us through the reflection questions she encourages people to ask themselves before they meet with a divorce lawyer and explains how divorce attorneys serve clients better when they d

If your marriage is ending, you may be convinced that things will never be good again. But what if I told you there is a way to stay positive, even during a divorce? To feel less vulnerable in stressful situations? And change the dynamic of conversations with your ex? Bill Carmody serves as Chief Coaching Officer for Positive Intelligence, where he oversees the application of mental fitness for thousands of coaches worldwide. Bill is also the author of the bestselling book The 3 Rules of Marriage, and he is dedicated to being an inspirational leader who creates breakthroughs for himself and solves problems for others. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Bill joins Katherine to explain how Positive Intelligence strategies can help you be less reactive in stressful situations and stay positive regardless of your circumstances. Bill shares his approach to making progress in high-conflict conversations, challenging us to develop mental fitness and stop the cycle of judgement when we feel criticized by ou

According to the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale, divorce is the second most stressful life event after the death of a spouse. And that stress has an impact on our food choices and overall health. So, how might we leverage integrative nutrition to make positive, lasting lifestyle changes while we’re coping with divorce? Suzy Wood is the Integrative Nutrition Health Coach behind True Wellness Within, a platform that helps people make healthy food and lifestyle choices and rebuild their lives after the stress of divorce. Suzy’s divorce was a calling card to reinvent herself, inspiring her to leave a career in high tech marketing to start her own business and live her best life. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Suzy joins Katherine to discuss the 12 lifestyle factors that must be in balance for you to live a healthy life. Suzy shares tips for finding an avenue for self-care to help you detox during or after divorce and discusses the importance of discerning what divorce advice works for you—and what doe

Traditional coparenting arrangements put the focus on the divorcing couple. They establish new, separate households, and the kids go back and forth. But what happens if you shift your focus and build a coparenting plan around the children? When Bill DeSalvo’s ex-wife introduced him to the idea of nesting, he had misgivings. But he was open to the alternative because of its benefits for his kids. On the last episode of Divorce Dialogues, Bill’s ex-wife, Beth Behrendt, walked us through the fundamentals of nesting, a coparenting strategy in which the children stay in the family home and the parents move in and out. Today, Bill joins Katherine to discuss the experience of nesting from his perspective, sharing the logistical questions he had around how it would work and how their arrangement has evolved over time. Bill explains what he learned about himself through nesting and describes the mutual respect he and Beth established by putting rules in place early on. Listen in for Bill’s advice on building

Separated parents often worry about the upheaval a divorce causes in their kids’ lives, especially the stress that comes with moving back and forth between two households. But what if you could give your children the security of staying in the family home? Nesting allows kids to do just that. And it’s the parents who move in and out. So, how does nesting work? Is it right for your family? Beth Behrendt is the author of Nesting After Divorce: Co-Parenting in the Family Home. A freelance writer and single mother of three, Beth has shared her nesting experiences in several national publications, including The New York Times and Psychology Today. She is also a regular contributor to Divorce Magazine and Laura Wasser’s It’s Over Easy. Beth built Family Nesting to offer advice to other families considering this unique approach to divorce. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Beth joins Katherine to explain why she and her ex-husband made the decision to try nesting and how the arrangement benefits their fam

At the beginning of a new romance, we’re not worried about repeating the unhealthy patterns that ended our previous relationships. We tell ourselves that this one is different. But statistics tell a different story. The divorce rate is 41% for first marriages, 60% for second marriages and 73% the third time around. So, what’s behind those dismal statistics? And what can we do to heal a disappointing love life? Dr. Thomas Jordan is a clinical psychologist and a psychoanalyst in private practice in New York City. He also serves on the faculty of the NYU Postdoctoral Program in Psychoanalysis. Dr. Jordan founded the Love Life Learning Center to help people strengthen their ability to form and sustain healthy relationships, and he is the author of Learn to Love: A Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Dr. Jordan joins Katherine to discuss the three features of a disappointing love life, describing how we unconsciously repeat unhealthy patterns learned in chil

Many people are overburdened with expenses after divorce. So, what options do you have when the cost of living on your own becomes overwhelming and you get into financial trouble? Though it is a last resort, sometimes filing for bankruptcy is the best way to eliminate some of your debt and get back on your feet. So, how do divorce and bankruptcy law work together? What do you need to know about declaring bankruptcy in divorce? Dawn Kirby is the cofounder of Kirby Aisner & Curley LLP, a women-owned law firm that represents corporate and consumer debtors and creditors in bankruptcy and restructuring matters. Dawn has more than 25 years of experience as a bankruptcy attorney, and she cofounded the pro se bankruptcy clinic at Legal Services of the Hudson Valley, which provides bankruptcy counseling to individuals who fall below the Federal poverty line. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Dawn joins Katherine to explain why divorce is among the most common causes of bankruptcy and when to file for chapter

If you’re going through a divorce, you’ve likely fallen into what David Emerald Womeldorff calls the Dreaded Drama Triangle or DDT. But this framework keeps you and your ex focused on your problems rather than the outcomes you want. So, what is the antidote to the toxicity of DDT? How do you shift out of fear and reactivity into creativity and empowerment? David is the Creator-in-Chief of The Empowerment Dynamic and Cofounder of the Bainbridge Leadership Center. He is also the bestselling author many books, including The Power of TED: The Empowerment Dynamic. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, David joins Katherine to explain the concept of the Dreaded Drama Triangle, exploring how the traditional approach to divorce perpetuates the DDT. David describes why we fall into the roles of victim, persecutor or rescuer in divorce and challenges us to leverage The Empowerment Dynamic as an antidote to DDT. Listen in for David’s insight on applying TED to the circumstances of divorce and learn how to disrupt

Divorce leaves us overwhelmed and vulnerable, compromising our ability to parent well. And despite our best intentions, we may inadvertently dismiss our kids’ feelings or put them in an uncomfortable position. So, what can we do to gain a better understanding of what our children are going through during a divorce? How can we learn to coparent in a way that puts kids first? Christina McGhee is the divorce-parenting expert behind Divorce and Children and author of the highly acclaimed book, Parenting Apart: How Separated and Divorced Parents Can Raise Happy and Secure Kids. Christina is also the creator of the Co-Parenting Specialist Certification Training for divorce professionals and consulting producer of the films SPLIT: The Early Years and SPLIT UP: The Teen Years. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Christina joins Katherine to explain why it’s crucial to create space for kids to talk about their experience of divorce and how to own it when you make a parenting mistake. Christina describes how ch

When you’re going through a divorce, it’s easy to lose your joy. You feel like you have every right to be down in the dumps. This was certainly true for Connie Monroe, who threw herself a pity party with wine and cigarettes every night after work during her divorce. But when she found out that her cousin had been diagnosed with cancer and the prognosis was not good, Connie had an AHA moment. She realized that divorce was not going to kill her, and it was an insult to her cousin to wallow. She recognized that joy was a choice. And in 2008, Connie left her corporate finance career to build Monroe Coaching, a transformational coaching practice that helps women navigate fertility issues and divorce. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Connie joins Katherine to discuss her book, Holding Onto Joy Through Abandonment and Divorce. Connie shares the story of her own infertility issues, her husband’s infidelity and their attempt to reconcile that ended in divorce. Listen in for Connie’s advice on being comple

Divorce means accepting that things didn’t go as planned and adjusting to major changes in your life. It’s about taking on challenges you’re not prepared for at a time when your confidence is shot. When Eykiena ‘Keena’ Crowley got divorced, she struggled with all of these issues too. But her background as a combat veteran in the US Army meant that she had practice adjusting to unanticipated change. And she leveraged that military mindset to navigate her divorce. For Keena, giving up was not an option. Today, Keena is Founder and CEO of My Thriving Life Academy, a company that empowers people to identify their inner gifts and elevate to their pinnacle in life. Keena is also a divorce recovery coach, international speaker and author of A Superwoman’s Guide to Recovering After Divorce. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Keena joins Katherine to explain how the army prepared her for divorce and share her superwoman’s approach to recovering from the breakup of a marriage. Keena walks us through the five

Most of us are familiar with the five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. But what if your experience doesn’t follow this linear pattern? Whether you’re grieving the loss of a loved one or navigating a divorce, you need tools to move through the trauma of loss and get to life on the other side. Krista St. Germain is a Master Certified Life Coach, post-traumatic growth and grief expert, and host of The Widowed Mom Podcast. When her husband was killed by a drunk driver in 2016, Krista's life was unexpectedly flipped upside down. Therapy helped her learn the tools she needed to move forward and build a future she could get excited about. And now, she coaches other people through their grief and helps them love life again, too. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Krista joins Katherine to explain why the pop culture theory of grief doesn’t describe everyone’s experience, challenging us to reframe our emotions not as problems to be solved but a valuable part of being hu

Most people think of narcissists as obnoxious and self-absorbed. They’re flashy, loud and charismatic. And it’s obvious that they’re looking out for #1. But a covert narcissist is much harder to identify. They are generally well-liked and well-respected by others. And the way they manipulate their partner is much more subtle and difficult to recognize. So, how do you know if you’re in a relationship with a covert narcissist? Is there anything you can do to make the divorce process more manageable? Debbie Mirza is a speaker, singer/songwriter and restorative coach with expertise in helping people heal from covert narcissistic abuse. Debbie is also the bestselling author of The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse, Worthy of Love: A Gentle and Restorative Path to Healing After Narcissistic Abuse and The Safest Place Possible: A Guide to Healing and Transformation. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Debbie join

After 10 years of working in the divorce business, Judith Weigle reflected on the couples who were able to communicate well and navigate the process with less stress. And she identified the elements of what she calls a Heart-Healthy Divorce. So, what steps can you take to make your divorce more amicable and less acrimonious? Judith is Founder of Divorce Resource, Inc., a firm that provides both mediation and filing services for divorces, legal separations, paternity cases, and post-judgment revisions of settlement agreements. She has 12 years of experience as a mediator and 10 years in private practice family law. Judith also serves as host of The Amicable Divorce Expert Podcast. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Judith joins Katherine to share the four ingredients of a Heart-Healthy Divorce, explaining how to settle the emotional divorce before you file for a legal one. Judith discusses how to compartmentalize your time, using work as a respite and scheduling specific times to address your divorc

Communication breakdown in a marriage often leads to divorce. But the way your partner triggers your nervous system often has nothing to do with them and everything to do with trauma you’ve experienced in the past. So, what if you could change the way your mind accesses that trauma and stay present with your partner in those moments? Dr. Don Wood, PhD, is CEO of the Inspired Performance Institute and creator of the patented TIPP method for clearing the effects of traumatic events and rebooting the brain for peak performance. Dr. Wood is also the author of two bestselling books, Emotional Concussions and You Must Be Out of Your Mind. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Dr. Wood joins Katherine to explain how communication breaks down when the mind perceives a threat and describe how his TIPP method neutralizes our fight-or-flight response. Dr. Wood walks us through his memory reset process, weighing in on how unresolved trauma adversely effects our physical and mental health. Listen in to understand