Dialogue On Divorce

"Depth psychology is a more spiritual approach, a psychospiritual approach to understanding yourself more deeply." - Deborah Lukovich Dr. Deborah Lukovich is a renowned depth psychologist who offers a unique perspective on navigating the complexities of divorce by delving into the unconscious mind. With a belief that up to 90% of our actions and decisions are influenced by hidden forces, she emphasizes the importance of uncovering these unconscious patterns and behaviors that shape relationships. Through her book "Your Soul is Talking, Are You Listening?" and her engaging podcast and blog, Dr. Lukovich provides valuable insights into the unseen dynamics and hidden agendas that often go unnoticed during the tumultuous process of divorce. By guiding individuals to explore the depths of their psyche, Lukovich aims to foster a deeper understanding of personal and relational dynamics, ultimately aiding clients in transforming their relationship patterns and preventing past experiences from dictating future connec

"It will not get any easier if you're avoiding it. Now, don't think that in six months or a year the solution will be, in fact, it's going to get much harder." - Katya Sverdlov Katya Sverdlov is a distinguished attorney specializing in estate planning and elder law, with a robust background in finance as a chartered financial analyst. Driven by her own unsatisfactory experience with estate planning at a large law firm, she founded her own practice to ensure personalized client care and education. Sverdlov is passionate about empowering families to make informed decisions, emphasizing the critical importance of properly documenting estate planning wishes in writing, as verbal instructions or unsigned documents hold no legal weight. Her approach includes leveraging her financial expertise to help clients navigate complex family dynamics and asset considerations, highlighting strategies like irrevocable trusts for Medicaid planning, ensuring that her clients' wishes are legally binding and protected for the fut

"Kids have large antenna on their heads that you can't see, but they're always scanning for information, and that is information that is picked up very easily." - Lisa Herrick Dr. Lisa Herrick, a renowned family therapist and collaborative divorce coach, has nearly twenty years of experience guiding families in the Washington, D.C. area through the complex transition period of separation and divorce. She emphasizes that this transition varies greatly among individuals, depending on their resilience and specific circumstances, and underscores the importance of allowing adequate time for adjustment, adaptation, and recovery. Dr. Herrick advocates for honest and respectful communication between co-parents, particularly when introducing new partners to children, to minimize confusion and build trust. Drawing from personal experience, she highlights the intricate dynamics involved in shared family activities post-divorce, such as spending holidays together, and the necessity of preparing new partners for their ro

"The key is that it keeps the children stable. It keeps their routines consistent. There's a lot less upheaval and chaos for the children. It's a very child centered approach to separation and divorce." - Ann Gold Buscho Ann Gold Buscho, a licensed clinical psychologist, is renowned for her expertise in family dynamics surrounding divorce, with a particular emphasis on child-centered solutions. As the author of "The Parents Guide to Bird Nesting: A Child-Centered Solution to Co-Parenting During Separation and Divorce," she advocates for bird nesting as a strategy to mitigate the negative impacts of divorce on children by ensuring stability and consistency in their environment. Buscho underscores the importance of prioritizing children's welfare by setting aside personal conflicts and fostering effective co-parenting through open communication and collaboration. Her work offers practical tools and guidance to help parents navigate the complexities of bird nesting, including addressing financial and logistical

"I think whether someone wants to admit it or not, we have all been in that space multiple times in our life where we wonder who we want to be, who we should be, and who we are." - Jennifer Teplin Jennifer Teplin is a licensed clinical social worker and the founder of Manhattan Wellness, where she specializes in helping young professionals navigate significant life changes, including divorce. She advocates for personal transformation through challenging limiting patterns and embracing authenticity, believing that divorce, while difficult, is an opportunity for individuals to redefine themselves. Teplin's human-centered and collaborative approach is uniquely tailored to address the emotional complexities of divorce, providing a safe space for clients to explore and align with their true desires. By encouraging self-reflection and intentional decision-making, she empowers individuals to overcome societal expectations and build lives they genuinely love, viewing divorce as a pivotal moment for personal growth a

"People need to feel safe to be a part of a team. People need to feel safe to be able to contribute." - Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin is a distinguished relationship expert who dedicates his work to helping couples achieve breakthroughs, regardless of their backgrounds or beliefs. He champions the idea that conflicts within relationships are not merely obstacles but opportunities for healing and growth, transforming potential breakdowns into significant breakthroughs. Through his engaging private two-day intensives and group workshops, Rabbi Slatkin provides couples at crossroads with the clarity and strategies needed to foster positive outcomes, grounded in a deep-rooted belief that every conflict holds the potential for constructive change. By advocating for relationship intelligence and understanding through faith, he inspires couples to approach challenges with hope, emphasizing that facing and resolving conflicts can ultimately deepen their commitment and connection. Key Takeaways: ->Confl

"It is a rebirth because there is so much of your identity attached to who you were with this other person in the life that you had with this person or that you created with the person." -Karina Diaz Karina Diaz, a licensed psychotherapist and art therapist with over two decades of experience, offers a compassionate and creative approach to guiding individuals through the emotional journey of divorce. She believes this journey is a deeply impactful experience that often disrupts one's sense of self, particularly affecting children who may feel powerless during such transitions. Karina emphasizes the importance of providing space for children to process their trauma and allowing them a sense of agency, while also highlighting the need for compassion and cultural understanding in supporting all individuals involved. Through her work, she advocates for addressing the emotional complexities of divorce with dignity and empathy, utilizing art therapy as a powerful tool to express and heal from the complex emotions

"There's something freeing about it. You can decide where you want your assets to go to. You can choose what charity. You don't have to listen to someone else now telling you, no, no, no, no, no." - Tammy Fried Tammy Fried, a seasoned attorney with over 25 years of expertise in tax trusts and estates, is dedicated to guiding individuals, families, and non-profits through the complex terrain of estate planning. As a founding partner of Radic Freed PLLC, she underscores the importance of tailoring estate plans to accommodate the evolving needs that arise across different life stages, from young couples embarking on family life to high-net-worth individuals navigating career changes or even divorce. Fried's strategic approach ensures her clients receive personalized solutions that address their unique circumstances, emphasizing the need to update essential documents like wills, trusts, and powers of attorney to reflect life transitions and safeguard their futures. Her perspective highlights the freedom and cont

"What we live with, we learn. What we learn, we practice. What we practice, we become." - Jennifer Kupferman Jennifer Kupferman is a distinguished therapist and former lawyer who expertly combines somatic and traditional talk therapy to guide individuals through the tumultuous journey of divorce. With an impressive academic background, including degrees from Columbia, Penn, Yale, and ASU, she leverages her understanding of high-pressure environments to help her clients find balance amidst the emotional and financial challenges of divorce. Kupferman emphasizes the critical need to validate emotional responses while separating them from legal decisions, as intense emotions can cloud judgment. By encouraging self-compassion and curiosity towards conflicting emotions, she aids in emotional empowerment and healing, advocating for therapeutic techniques like EMDR to reshape self-identity and foster healthy conflict resolution, ultimately benefiting both individuals and their families. Key Takeaways ->Emotions ca

"Trust can be helpful for several reasons. One is that having assets in a trust makes it easier when a person dies because the trust assets don't go through the Surrogate's Court." - Michael Goldstein Michael Goldstein, a seasoned New York attorney with over thirty years of experience, brings a wealth of knowledge to the complex issue of dividing real estate during divorce. With a focus on the intricacies of jointly owned properties, such as the marital home and investment properties, Goldstein offers practical insights and a compassionate approach to resolving these disputes. He emphasizes the importance of addressing real estate matters in divorce decrees to prevent legal complications post-divorce, considering critical financial factors like down payments, mortgage payments, and property maintenance. Beyond real estate, Goldstein also advises on utilizing trusts and updating estate plans to protect assets and ensure proper distribution, highlighting their value in safeguarding against unintended consequen

"Divorce is not just an ending, but a chance to rediscover the strength we didn't know we have." - Sabrina Romanoff Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, a Harvard-trained clinical psychologist based in New York City, is renowned for her expertise in guiding individuals and couples through the emotional complexities of divorce. She views divorce as an emotional and psychological journey rather than just a legal matter, highlighting the importance of resilience and personal growth during such transformative times. Dr. Romanoff advocates for creating a safe and supportive therapeutic environment that allows individuals to heal at their own pace, drawing parallels between this process and her work with asylum seekers. Through her approach, she emphasizes the significance of finding a compassionate therapist who can provide non-judgmental support, helping individuals navigate their fears and uncertainties while transforming the end of a marriage into an opportunity for self-discovery and new beginnings. Key Takeaways ->Emotio

"Lean on your social support and create time to take care of yourself. But also, I can't imagine going through any of this without a therapist." - Julia Yacoob Julia Yacoob, a seasoned clinical psychologist based in Manhattan, brings over 15 years of experience to her specialized work in guiding individuals through the emotional turmoil of divorce. She highlights the pervasive issue of "stuckness" during the divorce process, where negative thought patterns and cognitive errors can cloud judgment and stall personal growth. Dr. Yacoob views these challenging transitions as opportunities to address unresolved family of origin issues and heal past wounds, fostering a path toward personal healing and emotional resilience. By offering both in-person and virtual sessions across New York State, she provides a supportive environment aimed at breaking the cycle of stuckness and promoting overall well-being. Key Takeaways ->Feeling stuck in the divorce process can significantly impact one's thinking and emotional wel

"Trauma is something they don't just get over. It's something they learn to live with." - Demi Yoshida Demi Yoshida, a dedicated therapist at My Well Being, specializes in supporting young adults through pivotal life transitions such as divorce, using her expertise in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), and psychodynamic therapy. She believes that divorce during a child's young adulthood can lead to childhood adultification, creating confusion and resentment, and underscores the importance of parents carefully considering the impact of self-disclosure and clearly defining family roles. Acknowledging the societal pressure to remain in a marriage for the sake of the children, Demi highlights the potential negative impact on psychological well-being in toxic relationships, advocating for divorce as a transformative opportunity for individuals to live more authentically. Through a compassionate and culturally sensitive approach, she focuses on guiding her clients towards hea

"People lose sight of the fact that they're human beings, and it's not always easy." - Dr. Sean Condon Dr. Sean Condon, a seasoned clinical psychologist with over two decades of experience, is renowned for his adeptness in helping individuals navigate anxiety, relationship challenges, and major life transitions such as divorce. As the founder of the Flatiron Center for Psychotherapy, Dr. Condon utilizes a warm yet direct style, advocating for an integrative therapeutic approach that views divorce not as a failure, but rather as a complex transition where both parties are doing their best. He emphasizes the necessity of confronting and understanding the inherent pain of divorce as a pivotal step toward healing, believing that therapy provides a crucial space for growth, support, and compassion. Through his lens, the therapeutic process post-divorce is an opportunity for self-discovery, where individuals can transform feelings of shame and self-blame into acceptance and optimism, fostering a renewed perspectiv

"That it's a journey, allow yourself time, allow yourself the grace and whatever that you need and set intentions for why you are trying to reconnect with certain people." - Kimia Moghadam Kimia Moghadam, a licensed mental health counselor and clinical director at My Therapy NYC, is dedicated to helping individuals and couples navigate the complexities of relationships, particularly when facing the challenges of leaving them. She emphasizes the multifaceted nature of this decision, taking into account cultural norms, financial dependencies, and emotional vulnerabilities that can make it daunting. Moghadam encourages individuals to seek support from their community, friends, and family, recognizing the value of a strong support system in such times. By fostering open communication and advocating for personal needs, she helps clients reconnect with themselves, approach new relationships with patience and self-compassion, and ultimately prioritize their own well-being. Key Takeaways ->Kimia Moghadam emphasizes

"Yelling is not a consequence. It's the avoidance of a consequence." - Gary Edelstein Gary Edelstein, a seasoned psychotherapist specializing in neuropsychology and family systems, is dedicated to advancing a collaborative co-parenting model. He underscores the importance of maintaining a unified front in parenting, particularly when children experience emotional, psychological, or neurodevelopmental challenges. Edelstein advocates for parents to establish consistent discipline rules across households' post-divorce, which he believes can prevent the polarization of parental perspectives and reduce conflict. By promoting collaboration based on neurocognitive principles, Edelstein aims to lower the emotional tone in households and support healthier relationships, ultimately benefiting the children's well-being. Key Takeaways ->Establishing a collaborative co-parenting relationship is crucial to prevent parental conflict and minimize the negative impact of divorce on children. ->Consistency in setting limits

"You don't get divorced from your spouse. It doesn't exist. It's a made-up word. You commit to a new relationship with them." - Avi Kahan Avi Kahan, a distinguished mediator and founder of the non-profit Vad Hadin Vahora, is renowned for his innovative approach to divorce proceedings, integrating halakhic principles with civil law to offer comprehensive conflict resolution. With a background in finance and law, he expertly navigates the complexities of money, ethics, and family dynamics, promoting mediation over litigation to transform traditional divorce processes. Kahan believes that many mediators act merely as facilitators who know the divorce system, rather than genuinely resolving conflicts, and advocates for a deeper form of mediation that focuses on understanding underlying conflicts and crafting third solutions acceptable to both parties. Envisioning a future where divorce is seen as a positive transition rather than a war, Kahan emphasizes the importance of viewing divorce as a means of improving r

"Mirroring slows down the communication process. It really helps us to be able to tune in and listen in addition to be able to hear the information." - Trisha Sanders Trisha Sanders is a licensed clinical social worker with nearly twenty years of experience, specializing in guiding families through the challenging transitions associated with divorce. Recognized for her expertise in expressive therapies and imago relationship therapy, Sanders places a strong emphasis on the development of emotional intelligence and effective communication as essential tools for healing and strengthening relationships. She underscores the importance of these skills in divorce, particularly when co-parenting, as they help address the trauma and loss of control that often accompany such life changes. Through her work on platforms like wholefamilynj.com and her Instagram account, Sanders advocates for strategies that foster a supportive environment, enabling families to navigate the complexities of divorce with empathy and unders

"Well, I guess it's important to know what's important to the spouse that you're divorcing and for them to know what's important to you so you could have a win-win situation." - Jeff Landers Jeff Landers is a distinguished expert with over 40 years of experience in real estate, mortgages, and the financial intricacies of divorce, renowned for his guidance in navigating the complex financial challenges of ending a marriage. He emphasizes the crucial importance of being financially involved in household matters before a divorce to avoid complications and advises individuals to prioritize financial over emotional decisions during the process. Landers advocates for the engagement of specialized financial advisors with experience in divorce, recommending tools like Broker Check to assess their credibility and expertise. By highlighting the need for proactive and strategic financial planning, Landers aims to prevent common pitfalls and ensure a stable future for those going through a divorce, advocating for decisi

"There's a whole grief process that starts all over again when you make that final decision to sell that property. And that's hard for people." - Nikki Beauchamp Nikki Beauchamp, a seasoned Manhattan-based real estate expert with over two decades of experience at Sotheby's International Realty, provides invaluable guidance at the intersection of divorce and property transactions. With a keen focus on personal goals rather than general market trends, Nikki emphasizes the necessity of seeking advice from a trusted professional to navigate the complexities of the real estate market during a divorce. She advocates for open communication and regular assessment of real estate portfolios to make informed decisions, highlighting the importance of addressing these matters early in the divorce process. By offering nuanced insights and tailored solutions, Nikki Beauchamp fosters a supportive environment for divorcing couples, ensuring a smooth and positive transition with her empathetic and data-driven approach. Key T