Sex Ed The Musical

It seems to be one of the last bastions of unchecked racism. “I’m looking for someone special to spend the rest of my life with. Someone kind, loving and adventurous. Together we’ll create a perfect life where we’ll explore the world, always be there for each other and bring out the best in each other. No Black men.” Whaaaaaa? Sure, is it well within your rights to be completely honest about what you absolutely want or don’t want in your dating profile. Even if it’s, like, 100% totally overtly unmistakably racist. To this day, blatant racism can be found all over dating profiles and it’s not just for haters. There are other folks who are known ONLY to date certain races other than their own. Asian Women Only! Ummm, I suppose that could be considered flattering…until you realize that some of those searchers may only be interested in fetishizing you. Either way, making these demands can turn dating into a pretty dehumanizing experience. To walk us through all of this, is Certified Dating Expert and Writer Damon

In a world that routinely shuts down, dominates, gaslights, harasses, and demeans people of color, you’d think Black folks would not be interested in power play. Well, you would be wrong. “But I never see any Black folks in the kink world!” Maybe that’s because when we see representations of kink in movies, online, on the “adults only” magazine rack behind the slushee machine at a gas station, we typically see 50 shades of white people. Sadly, we exist in a world that treats whiteness as a default. Orrrrrr, when you finally do see people of color, it’s often because they’re being fetishized by white people. What if you are a person of color and you want to engage in a little kink? Is that going to be even more difficult than getting served some motherfucking eggs at Denny’s? Hopefully, not. On this episode, I get the lowdown on accessing pleasure, and the Black kink scene from therapist, educator and sex-positive enthusiast, Shanae “HonestlyNae” Adams. Shanae is on a mission of sexuality normalization, explan

Did you know that interracial marriage was illegal in 16 states until June 12, 1967? 1967! On this episode, I reveal why I’ve been hiding behind my privilege for the past two weeks and why the anniversary of this landmark ruling finally inspired me to step forward to do what I can to help support the cause. The Loving v. Virginia ruling personally affects my own life. Why? Great question, thanks for asking. My husband is a Black man. Sooooooo, in my lifetime, my marriage was illegal in 16 states. Listen to find out which states in our country were clinging desperately to their “good old days” when enforcing systematic racist laws was just part of the fun. Now I realize that this podcast has always been about the pursuit of sexual authenticity and stepping away from judgment at shame. But there is a lot of shame attached to doing nothing to help others. I’m not here to play white savior or to tell you something you don’t already know. I don’t have things figured out. There’s plenty of things I’m going to get w

Necessity is the mother of invention. According to the interwebs, this proverb was first said by Plato. Or Frank Zappa. Or a cartoon, crime-fighting squirrel. Okay, it doesn’t really matter who said it originally, cause I’m not paying any royalties to anyone. The fact remains, it’s true. Because right now, as millions of us remain sheltered in place, confused and overwhelmed, we’ve needed to reinvent many things, including how we can access professional help. So, if you were smart enough to become a licensed therapist who sees clients online, YOUR BIG DAY HAS ARRIVED! On this episode, I speak with one of my very favorite sex and relationship therapists, Dr. Shannon Chavez, who is doing an amazing job helping folks who are struggling with issues that are exacerbated by these uncertain times. We talk about several things including: What happens when a global pandemic shuts down your sex drive? Can I be single and still see a sex therapist? How to cope with touch deprivation. What’s the best way to handle a par

Well, if there’s one thing we’ve learned in the past few months it’s that pandemics are great for sex toy sales. Sure, movie theaters, malls and hair salons are shuttered, but sex toy sales are buzzing! I have friends who have actually worn out vibrators as they’re shelter in place. But, what if you don’t have $120 for a new vibrator? Or you don’t feel comfortable ordering sex toys online? Worry not! We are people of the land! We are on the solutions team! I am about to teach you how you can DIY your own sex toys, dammit! On this episode, I reveal how many things already lying around your house, are perfect fodder for homemade pleasure. Whether it’s a popular cooking oil, a much-maligned hair accessory or a favorite item from the produce department — you can absolutely create your own pleasure. Pioneer Woman some sexy shit! That’s what I say. With a few simple hacks, the following items can deliver a lot of pleasure. Plus, you get even more pleasure of knowing that you did it all by yourself. Look around your

There’s that voice in your head. That voice that can be very critical of you at the worst moments possible. We do all sorts of work to try to control that voice. Silence it. Take control of that voice and shut it down. Well, according to acclaimed Intimacy Expert Allana Pratt, that strategy is completely backwards. In this episode, Allana Pratt reveals that we need not to silence or to kill that voice, but to seduce it. Make love to that voice. Let it know that it’s being heard and that it’s wanted and safe. I know! This goes against everything I’ve ever tried but, full disclosure, I’ve had very little success controlling that inner critic so clearly, I have been doing things all wrong. (That last comment courtesy of my inner critical voice). Sit back and open your mind as I interview openhearted, unapologetic, learned and incredibly saucy intimacy expert and certified coach, Allana Pratt, who shares that Intimacy is an Inside Job. Surviving a few messy breakups of her own, and after 20 years of helping singl

NEWS FLASH! It’s not just disinfecting wipes, toilet paper and all-purpose baking flour flying off of the shelves right now. Retailers all over the world are reporting that sales of sex toys have spiked over the past two months as people are looking for new ways to find comfort and stress relief during their self-quarantine. Some countries are seeing sex toy sales buzzing with increases over 200%. What do those buyers know that you don’t? Well, first of all, masturbation is the ultimate in social distancing sex, right? But, there are actual health benefits associated with dialing your own rotary phone. Orgasms keep your happy place happy. Blood flow keeps it supple and regularly running water through the pipes is essential to keeping plumbing in tip top shape. Orgasms offer pain relief. If you’re someone who suffers from menstrual cramps or the occasional UTI, you know that buzzing one off can give you some serious, all-natural pain relief. (This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional me

We’re all socially distancing. Sheltered in place. Huddled braless in front of Netflix, confused, foraging for snacks and wondering if we might have to turn old socks into toilet paper. IT’S A MADHOUSE!!! A MADHOUSE!!! How are we to survive? I know! Let’s laugh at other peoples’ misfortune. That always works for me. Since, this is a show about sex, we’ll laugh at their sexual misfortune. Win/win! On this episode, my guests share hilarious Screw Confessions. And in a Sex Ed The Musical first, we have our first gay male Screw Confession! This is really huge! (That’s what he said.) Actually, that’s not at all what he said. If you want to know exactly what he said, you gotta listen to this episode. You’ll hear two very funny comedians, Jodi Miller and Kate Quigley sharing their hilarious Screw Confessions and then a few other all-new stories. It’s kind of a big deal you guys. So, as you’re sheltering in place and staying safe, have a laugh and check out this episode. Hey! If you have a Screw Confession you’d like

I started doing these interviews with women I’d never met because I wanted to paint a picture for my listeners who fear that perhaps, when it comes to sex, there’s something wrong with them or that they’re not normal. The first thing I’d like to point out is that there’s no such thing as normal. The concept of “normal” was invented by someone with a big, fat, throbbing agenda who was trying to dictate what other people should or should not be doing in bed. Over the years it’s been reinvented and reinterpreted, but at its core, pursuing normalcy is a trap. The idea of Sexually Deviant Behavior is culturally and historically specific and the classification has been weaponized to punish and stigmatize just about anyone — especially women. What you’re about to hear is a summary of the most amazing moments from the first ten Under Covers episodes. I’ll share my findings, averages and some of the most touching, gut-wrenching and hilarious quotes from these brave women who agreed to be interviewed by me. My goal wit

One of the best parts of my ridiculous job as head of programming at Playboy TV, was being able to learn from all of the amazing experts I worked with. Highly qualified educators, experts and authors who were truly concerned about the state of sex education in this world and how to inspire us to pursue lives of healthy passion, sexual adventure and pleasure. At the top of that list is my friend, Dr. Jessica O’Reilly. As host of my show Swing, she not only introduced couples to the swinging lifestyle but then worked with them after they spent the night in the Swing house, helping them unpack their feelings in order to understand how the experience affected their relationships and communication moving forward. Jessica is whip-smart, caring, non-judgmental, kind, and one of the world’s leading educators when it comes to understanding the ever changing world of human sexuality and relationship maintenance. Now as we’re all (hopefully) staying home and flattening the curve, there’s a lot of stress brewing. Financi

This Under Covers social experiment has been really mind-blowing for me and the answers, however small the sampling is, tell a very interesting story. First of all, I started doing these interviews because I wanted you to know that YOU ARE NORMAL. This idea that we’re strange or, dirty or unworthy of sexual pleasure all stems back to us being stigmatized during sex education. I spoke to one woman who believed that she never deserved oral sex simply because she didn’t look like the models she saw in magazines. What in the actual hell are we telling ourselves? And why are we restricting or demonizing our desires? That’s why I started doing these interviews, so you might hear something from another person and think, OH MY GAWD, I thought I was the only person dealing with that!!! WELL, YOU’RE NOT. The sex education that most kids receive whether from school or home is frequently fear or shame-based, rarely mandated to be fact-based, and is often filled with bizarre threats of unintended pregnancies and terrifyin

You get your teeth cleaned. You get your oil changed. You replace the batteries in your smoke detectors. It’s a fact that certain things in life require regular maintenance. Your sex life is one of those things. In this episode, I speak with licensed clinical psychologist, Dr. Shannon Chavez. A nationally recognized expert, public speaker and prolific writer, Dr. Chavez specializes in “all things sexuality” working with individuals and couples (of all genders and orientations). Because your sex life requires regular maintenance, it’s important to check in with an expert regularly, instead of waiting until you’re in crisis mode. In this episode, we talk about how challenging it can be to suggest to a partner that you see a sex therapist. Also, in order to enjoy a healthy sex life, Dr. Chavez recommends: What items should be removed from your bedroom immediately. How to create more intimacy with your partner outside of the bedroom. How to establish your rules as a couple. Plus, she shares: FIVE SIGNS YOU AND

I know a lot of amazing single women. Highly accomplished. Attractive. Stable. Confident. Driven. Smart women. They have careers. They have homes. They have their shit together. Mathematically, you’d think there are at least a similar amount of men out there who share those attributes. Apparently…not so much. So where are all of these eligible men? In this episode I interview acclaimed author, sexuality researcher and educator Lou Paget. The author of the game-changing sex guide for women How to be a Great Lover, Lou has been featured on Real Sex on HBO, and has appeared in Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, Redbook and my living room. In this episode, I ask Lou why so many women are having a hard time finding eligible bachelors and she has some very surprising answers. What you’re really buying when you marry for money. The fastest way to turn off a guy. Why a dog is woman’s best friend. If you’re a straight single woman who’s been having no luck finding an eligible man, this episode may have exactly what you nee

What a GIGANTIC week! Season two is happening, yo! We’re about to reach 30,000 downloads!!! My writing on Medium has garnered over 100,000 views. I’m enjoying a very fun, remote-controlled vibrator (affiliate link) that you and your boo need right now. Plus, I decided that enough is enough and I’m going to stop coloring my damn hair. It’s a gradual process so as to avoid a skunk line, (not judging anyone else’s choice, it’s just not my thing). This shit is happening. I’m gray for pay! Plus, the owner of my favorite Mexican restaurant gave me a free order of guacamole today!!! #DevotedLifetimeCustomer And if that’s not enough, you’re about to enjoy an all-new Under Covers episode!!!! Life is sublime. Now, on to today’s episode. CARMEN (That’s not her real name). Just like the previous Under Covers conversations, there’s a lot I could share with you about Carmen in advance, but I didn’t know anything, so why should you? You may think my clumsy interview style in these segments is completely calculated by me to

About once a week, someone asks me how to have a threesome. We’re talking friends of mine, people I know through work, women I’ve met at yoga. Okay, I don’t go to yoga once a week, I probably go once a month but it’s so horrible it feels like once a week. Regardless, I am asked this question over and over again. This is a fact: Having a threesome is the number one sexual fantasy of heterosexual couples. I have a shit ton of anecdotal evidence to know this is true. I was once hosting a birthday party and a couple I’ve known for over 20 years came up to me and asked me how they could have their first threesome. At MY birthday party! But I don’t blame them. Adding a special guest star to your show can be a great way to add some serious fun and, if you do it ethically and with the right planning and communication, a great addition to your horizontal repertoire. Of course, this is super easy for me to say. I hang out with professional sex-havers and pleasure chasers all the time. I’m in what you’d call a “target r

Whether it’s the stress of your day, hormones out of whack, or maybe your husband refuses to close the kitchen cabinets — whatever it is, it’s probably increasing your stress which interferes with your sex drive and your ability to experience the most pleasure possible. That’s where cannabis comes in! And it turns out, menopausal women in the know are flocking to it. In a recent story on Quartz- According to sales data and a survey of 4,000 cannabis consumers by the San Francisco-based delivery platform Eaze, the number of female cannabis consumers nearly doubled in 2018, and with their growth outpacing men, women are on track to be half of the cannabis market by 2022. Female baby boomers on the platform grew by nearly a quarter between 2017 and 2018. Once I sashayed into the magic of menopause, things got interesting. The occasional hot flash wasn’t the least bit bothersome to me because I’m freezing most of the time anyway. Plus those went away after just a few weeks. The biggest problem was bedtime. My abi

If you judged an entire group of people based on the t-shirts that are marketed to them at Target, then you’d think all women are obsessed with wine, dogs, and the TV show Friends. Whether or not we all are (we’re not), the fact is, there’s a lot about women that’s completely manufactured in order just to sell us t-shirts. Meanwhile, information about our true desires is hidden away in shame. Well, as your favorite truth teller I’m here to say that it turns out women over 40 are actual true genuine real sexual beings just like other human people types. What!?!? Yes, it’s hella true. We’re also not all obsessed with wine, dogs or whoever the fuck is your lobster. It’s more likely that we’re obsessed with Idris Elba. At least the 100 members of the 40 Thrive community who responded to our semi-scientific sex survey claim to be hotter for Mr. Elba than anyone else. But can you blame them? No, you cannot. Searching for truth over marketing, we asked 100 women over 40 a series of questions about their sex lives in

Throughout the first season of this podcast, I’ve featured all sorts of hilarious Screw Confessions. Perhaps you recall… The woman who had sex in a car that turned out to be parked in front of a police station. The woman who, in the throes of passion tore a headboard off of the wall and peed on her partner. One woman’s plan to spend an afternoon masturbating that was rudely interrupted by the New York City Fire Department. This episode features a very special Celebrity Screw Confession courtesy of the hilarious Kate Quigley. Out of respect for the world-famous supermodel in this story, we won’t be revealing his name. Kate has told this story on stage several times which is why we’re okay with revealing her as the storyteller. And, if you have a Screw Confession you’d like to share with us ANONYMOUSLY please email me. I’d love to feature your hilarious sex fail in an upcoming episode. Also, I spend a lot of time in this episode extolling the virtues of a vaginal moisturizer product called Revaree. In Episode

Kate Quigley is fearless, brash, and one of the fastest rising comedians working today. Of course she’s also hella hot, but that’s not why I love her. In addition to hosting a show for me on Playboy TV, which you will hear ALL ABOUT in this episode, she’s been seen on The Office, The Josh Wolf Show, The Megan Mullally Show, Talkshow With Spike Feresten and was the host of The 2016 AVN Awards which aired on Showtime. Kate headlines as a stand-up comic all over the country. She recently returned from an Armed Forces Tour performing for troops in Japan, Singapore, Guam, and Diego Garcia. She can be seen regularly at the Improv, Icehouse and the Hollywood Laugh Factory and has been featured as a Sports Illustrated, "Lovely Lady of the Day" & The Chive's "Girl You Should Know."  Kate is also the host of the wildly popular podcast, Date Fails, which receives over 30,000 downloads a week on the All Things Comedy network. She is flat out killing it. Follow her here. On this episode, we talk about how I totally ru

One of the best parts of creating sex-positive TV shows, speaking at Sexual Health Expos and hosting this podcast, is befriending and learning from leading sex experts. On this episode, I speak with Stacy Kaiser, a highly successful licensed psychotherapist, relationship expert and media personality. You’ve probably seen her on The Today Show, Good Morning America, CNN, The Doctors, Discovery Networks, MTV, Hallmark Channel or Lifetime, to name a few. Stacy is THE go-to therapist for major media outlets and has a thriving practice in Southern California. Stacy answers questions submitted by listeners, including: How To Improve A Sexless Marriage? How Do I Introduce Fun New Sex Toys Without Offending My Partner? What If You And Your Partner Have Completely Different Sex Drives? If My Partner Loses Interest And Gives Me Permission To Have Sex Outside The Marriage, Is That Cheating? Is It A Bad Idea To Schedule Sex? What Are The Best And Worst Times To Discuss Problems In The Bedroom? Sex Tips For Empty Nesters