Intentional Living With Tanya Hale

Have you ever paid attention to how often you use the phrase, 'I don't know'?  It seems to be a default for our brain when it doesn't want to expend the energy and the effort to figure something out.  The problem is, that 'I don't know' is a lie and a bad habit that will keep us stuck and impede our progress.  In this podcast we're going to talk about why it seems to be our 'go to' and how to move ourselves out of 'I don't know' and into 'I'm figuring it out.'

We are just starting into the holiday season and there's one thing so many of us dread - the drama.  But what if we could drop the drama?  What if we could just enjoy the people, the conversations, the sentiments and the season for what we really want them to be? Today we're going to talk about just how to do that - how to show up in a way where we can sit on the sofa after it's all over and just feel really satisfied with how we showed up.

  Boundaries are essential for healthy and strong relationships. Setting appropriate boundaries engages our self-respect and also protects the relationship from destructive feelings such as resentment, anger, and frustration. Today we are digging a little deeper into what boundaries are, how to set them, and why they can sometimes feel so tricky.  

It can be so easy to see the inconsistencies between how we're living and how we really want to be living, and the space between these two is really important.  Often, we may find that this space is ideal for berating ourselves and a lot of negative self-talk, but if we can learn instead to create a space for grace, we'll find that the distance between where we are and where we want to go becomes easier and more attainable.

Peace is something that is often on the top of our want list.  We want to have peace in our lives, to be free of contention.  But so often we go about 'keeping the peace' by not being honest or speaking up about things that matter to us, which actually creates the opposite of peace.  Let's talk about it!

Growth is not just a byproduct of challenges, it is also a skill to be learned. When we develop the skill of growth, over time it becomes easier and even fun, just as any skill we learn does. When this happens, seeing our flaws and our weaknesses is no longer an overwhelming, daunting task before us, but a challenge we know we can overcome.

Divorce can be one of those circumstances that seems like it spirals us into negative thoughts and feelings. And though it can be challenging because it necessitates that we show up differently than we have been, it doesn't have to be a place where we get stuck in despair or in victim mentality. Let's talk today about how to rewrite your divorce story into one that serves you and helps you to move into a better, healthier, and happier version of yourself.

Many of us in middle-age have lost touch with what we really want in life. We've forgotten about our desires and our dreams, our wants and our wishes. Learning to tap into these again, or for the first time, is a brilliant part of mid-life growing up. Join me today as we chat about how asking the question, 'What don't I want?' can help you start to identify what it is you really do want in life.

Do you have a tough time accepting compliments? You're not alone. Today we're going to work on understanding why it can be so difficult and how to learn to accept them more graciously. It's such a valuable skill when we're working on personal growth and progression.

I've heard this phrase so many times throughout my life. In fact, I'm sure I've used it more than once. And today it's time to take a look at how this thought, and others like it, are not serving us. They are not putting us into figuring-it-out mode and moving us forward. Today we'll talk about why thoughts like this keep us stuck and how to create thoughts that move us, instead, into our possibility.

Our relationships are being destroyed by our imaginations.  When we struggle to accept people as they are and live in the land of 'should' by expecting them to be something they're not, we are destroying connections with our people.  Let's create instead the beautiful, intimate relationships we innately crave.  

Have you ever seen someone do or say something that just shocked you and you thought, "I would never act that way", or "I would never say something like that."  If so, you're not alone.  Today I want to chat with you about why that isn't a helpful thought and how it's keeping you from becoming your best self.

Our desire to control all the things - the people, the situations, the how's, when's, why's, and where's - is destroying our lives.  It comes packaged in cute phrases akin to,"I just want you to be happy and successful", but our relationships are suffering and our sense of well-being is always teetering on the edge of misery.  Today we're talking about how to more clearly see our controlling behaviors and how to let go of them.

You know who I'm talking about.  Those people who push your buttons, who are so challenging to love, and who make you question yourself.  Today I will give you the tools to know how to deal with the most difficult people in your life in the most effective way - and it probably won't be what you think!

I recently completed what is called a 90-day relationship - a predetermined time for a relationship in which you commit to intentionally create a healthy partnership and work through all of the inevitable struggles.  It was brilliant and beautiful and I loved every second of it.  At the end of 90 days we ultimately decided our paths were diverging, but it was an amazing experience I would do all over again, even knowing the heartache waiting for me at the end.  

Sometimes our relationships can tend to get a little shallow. Specifically I notice my relationship with God, with myself, and with others can all struggle at times. That's because relationships are never a 'one and done' situation — they require consistent nourishment if they are to thrive and continue to deepen in intimacy. Today's we'll chat about four things we can do to keep connected and moving forward in our relationships.

Just because you're single doesn't mean you have to be lonely.  Lonely is a feeling caused by our thoughts, when we learn to be more intentional about our thoughts, we will be more fulfilled and happy with where we are, single or not.  What thoughts are holding you back and which ones with move you forward?  Let's chat about it.

The first time we realize that our brain consistently lies to us, it can seem a little strange.  I think we have this underlying belief that our brain processes and figures things out and always tells the truth.  But it doesn't.  And generally the lies it tells don't serve us very well and move us into a better version of ourselves.  Usually the keep us stuck in a place we don't want to be.  Today we'll chat about how to figure out when your brain is lying and what to day about it.

All of us engage in dysfunctional behavior, unhealthy patterns of behavior that create disconnection.  Sometimes we're completely unaware of the dysfunction, but other times we intentionally choose to look away and not see it because it can be so uncomfortable.  Only when we are willing to step in and take a closer look, engage with the dysfunction, and move into healing it can we create the connections and the relationships we desire.

One of the toughest things about being a parent of adult children is letting go of the desire to continue to parent them.  We have been so used to having expectations of how we want them to behave and what we want them to do, that letting go of that can be difficult.  But once they're adults, it's time to friend-zone them and step away from parenting them.  Let's talk about how to do that.