Intentional Living With Tanya Hale

Middle-Age is the best time for growing up!  Serious.  We have the experiences and the wisdom at this point in our lives to move forward at an unprecedented rate -- if we want to.  When we take the time to review our lives, our growth and progress, we can start to see just how amazing our paths have been, and will continue to be as we move into our futures.  

So many of us have the beliefs that our works, the things we do or don't do in life, are what creates our worth. In actuality, our works and our worth don't have anything to do with each other. Our worth is not, and never has been negotiable by the things that we do. Add to that the fact that discovering and embracing our worth is the key to really finding fulfillment in life, and we have a topic worth exploring!

Many of us are so responsible in our lives, but have never really learned how to be emotionally responsible. We continue to blame other people for our feelings, giving others the credit for us being angry or frustrated or annoyed. We also abdicate our emotional responsibility when we expect other people to make us feel happy or loved or empowered. Part of the joy in growing up is realizing that all of our emotions are our responsibility.

It seems so easy to think that if we change our circumstance that things will get better, and they might, for a very short time.  Eventually we will catch up with circumstance and find ourselves in the same place.  When we learn to change ourselves first and our circumstance second, then we can walk away feeling complete and satisfied.  Let's chat today about loving your circumstance before you leave it.

We have been taught our whole lives to "fake it till you make it," "just do it," "embrace the suck," and "do the thing you don't want to do." Great phrases for a short-term fix. But if we want to really create lasting change in our lives, we have to stop "white-knuckling" our behaviors and create change from our thoughts rather than from sheer will-power. Let's chat today about how to do that.

The thoughts we think about ourselves are incredibly powerful, because they create everything that we are and everything that we will be.  What thoughts about yourself are going on in your head?  Are those thoughts setting you up for a healthier life?  For better relationships?  If not, it's time to switch out those thoughts for ones that will create a better version of yourself.  Today, we're talking about how to do just that.

The story that we choose to tell ourselves and believe is one of the most powerful choices we can make.  Because every story can be told from many different perspectives, and that makes all the difference in whether we approach our lives from a place of power and learning or a place a victimization and stagnation.  Join me today and I'll show you how this works.

The world we live in is a very uncertain place -- and it always has been.  In this very uncertain world, what can we do to be self-certain?  And just where do I get me some of that self-certainty?  We can never be sure of what tomorrow will bring, but we can be certain that when the struggle is over that we will come out on top, a stronger and healthier version of ourselves.  Let's chat about it.

One of the best ways to start digging deep into ourselves and seeing what's holding us back is to start looking at our motivation for what we do.  And ultimately, always, it comes back to love or fear.  When we're motivated by fear, we destroy.  When we're motivated by love, we create.  Understanding and choosing love as our motivation can help us start creating the life and the relationships that we ultimately crave.

So many people have a lot of questions about divorce, the whys and the hows -- and I'm never afraid to answer them even though they are usually hesitant to ask.  So today, I'll share with you some of the most frequently asked questions about how I knew it was the right decision, to my regrets, what I'm grateful for, and also some advice.  

Taking 100% responsibility for our lives is one of the most important things we can do to grow and progress.  And yet, it can be so difficult to do when we have behaviors that hold us back that we're not aware of, or when we know we are right in a situation.  What is there to take responsibility for when I'm not to blame?  More than you would think.  Let's chat about it!

What are the behaviors that would be classified as anti-responsibility?  Chances are, if you are like me, most (if not all) of these 19 behaviors are ones that you have engaged in at some point.  Stepping away from responsibility is a sure-fire way to step away from our growth and progression.  Let's talk today about what anti-responsibility looks like.  

So many of us struggle with ideals of perfection, and it wreaks a lot of havoc in our lives.  When we can see imperfection for the gift it is, we can start finding peace in all of our flaws, mistakes, sins, and imperfections.  Let's chat about it today!  

The questions we ask ourselves in our brains make such a difference.  When the questions focus on reasons, we tend to spiral into negativity and it drains our energy.  When the questions focus on solutions, we create energy and start moving forward and progressing in the ways we want to.  Learning to manage these questions will help you learn to manage your life.  Let's talk about it!

Is it possible to build our own confidence or is it just something we were born with?  It is possible to create confidence!  So many of us struggle with feeling confident, and yet, it is entirely within our grasp when we learn to manage our thoughts in order to create the feeling of confidence.  Let's talk about it!

Recognizing and embracing the truth that we are human and will make mistakes is such an important piece of the self-acceptance puzzle.  Learning to accept what we can change, what we can't, and then having the courage to change what we can, will bring us to a place of self-acceptance that creates space for positive change.  Let's chat about it. . .

Beth Hillman is an amazing coach who works with parents of struggling teens. Join me today as Beth talks about her own personal journey with her struggling teen and how learning to take responsibility for her part in their relationship changed everything. You can find Beth at bethhillmancoaching.com.

We are hard-wired as humans for connections with other humans.  And yet, our primitive brain is hard-wired to take the easiest path possible and get all habitual and superficial with our relationships.  So how do we move out of the primitive brain "checklist" and into a space where we emotionally engage with the people we love?  That's what we're talking about today.  You won't want to miss this one!

If you want to be right, you are not alone!  Being right is a primal desire for humans, and sometimes we will work to be right at any cost.  But the thing is, the cost can be huge, and the biggest casualty is our relationships with the people we value the most.  Today let's look at our reasons behind being right and how we can let go of it.

One of the most amazing things we can be aware of with ourselves is our reasons for why we make the decisions we make.  Our reasons will make all the difference on our end results, as well as give us valuable insight into our minds and what motivates us.  Once we clue into the thinking of our minds, we have a distinct advantage!