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Reach Your Dreams By Avoiding Resistance Does this happen to you? A great idea pops into your head. Your heart fills with excitement. Nothing can stop you - except that you feel like you are stuck in quicksand. The more you fight, the deeper you sink. The only way out seems to be to give up on your dream - again. Let’s not do that this time. Feeling inspired to make a change in your life is terrific. It can also be scary. The result is nearly always feeling a sense of resistance as you move forward. This happens because your mind is wired to survive. That means avoiding anything bad and seeking everything good. Until you know it’s good for sure, everything is bad.   Resistance is the automatic result. When you are ready to act on your inspiration, focus on the good coming and do your best to resist your natural inclination to fall to the evil power of resistance.  You could say, “It’s about resisting your resistance.”   Inspiration Without Resistance. That’s how you live the life you’ve always wanted. Learn m

Practicing the Focus-Finish-Focus Model Wouldn’t it be great if you could create more time in your day?   One way to think about it is to prioritize the projects already on your plate.   That requires a simple understanding: 1) Working on multiple products simultaneously only delays completing all the projects. Your mind can only focus on one thing at a time. 2) What makes this such a great practice is that when you complete a project, not only is it off your plate, but it begins producing your expected results and also frees up time to move on to your next project. The next time that you are trying to find more time, ask - “What can I finish right now that will give me more time tomorrow - and every day after that?” Psychologically speaking, when practicing a focus-finish-focus model; your mind also experiences time differently. In the moment, time seems to be faster. After your projects are completed, your memories expand, and it seems like time has slowed down. That’s what they call a Mind Warp - and it ha

Opportunity Cost Decision Making Do you have too many options and are having difficulty choosing? You may have heard of a concept called "Opportunity Cost." Some consider it a fancy term for "trade-off." In other words, every time you choose, there is a trade-off to consider.  I find it easier to use extreme discrimination to weed out less-than-ideal opportunities. And you can do that with one question - "Does this opportunity provide the fastest and most direct path to reach my goals?"  Before we go on, it's easy to look at almost any opportunity and justify a path, especially if you are being persuaded by someone else. And Opportunity Cost is not some personal development success hack. It's actually in your mind as a survival tool. It's your mind deciding how to expend energy most efficiently.  What was that question again? "Does this opportunity provide the fastest and most direct path to reach my goals?"  If you want to break free from a stalled life, you must eliminate less efficient opportunities.  Lear

Letting Mentors Find YOU You've set a goal and are working hours to get what you want.  Why is everything moving so slowly? Larry was a mentor of mine when I was in my twenties. He owned a business, made an exceptional living, and, after hiring me to work for him, took me under his wing. It was a relationship that lasted for years - although I'm sure I didn't make it easy. That's the thing about being a young, bright-eyed dreamer with lots of talent and little patience. It's easy to see what others have, set an arbitrary date on a calendar, and expect everything to go your way. One day, I pinned Larry in his office and was making my best case for a raise. I was sure he had gobs of cash, and I deserved my share.  After all, I was 26 years old, so it was time that I had a big house and a fancy car like him. That's when Larry said something that changed everything - "Scott, sometimes you must keep showing up long enough for the right people to notice. Keep doing a good job, and they'll step up." Of course, Larry

Don't Become a Negotiating Underdog I was rushing through Atlanta Airport after an entire day of negotiating with a client. My flight was in 30 minutes, so I was beginning to think the deal would not happen.  That's when things got interesting. I've spent many days negotiating over the years and have grown confident in closing deals. I always think I'm going to win. Still, today's game wasn't over. As we approached the Gate area, my client guided me into the Food Court. He pulled out the contract and replaced my fee with a smaller number. Then, he handed me the pen and said, "If you can do it for that, I'll sign right now."  Checking my watch and not wanting to miss my flight, I almost took the deal. After all, winners get deals done. But, experience has taught me something else. Business deals that start poorly rarely get better. I decided to turn his less-than-classy negotiating gambit on its head. As humans, we are hard-wired to survive and thrive. As much as I wanted to take the deal to feed my family, I

Leadership in Times of Conflict I know that you want to be a better leader. I also know that you hate and don't want anything to do with conflict - especially since I can hear you saying — "Why can't we all get along?" I get it. Saying the word "No" is hard enough. Sometimes, saying "Yes" when others agree or disagree with your choice can be even more difficult. "Why can't we all get along?" The answer is that we can. However, the truth is that conflict will always happen whenever more than two people get together. Even if there is a common goal and everyone is on the same page. Conflict will always play a role in your success. What? We're on the same page, agree with each other, want the same result, and there's still conflict? "Why can't we all get along?" Yes. No matter how positive your project is, everybody has a different idea of how to reach the outcome. Everybody has an individual right way and wrong way of doing things. As a leader, when you approach conflict as a simple "Y" on the road of progress,

Happiness Is Learning Something New In my work, it's not unusual for somebody to seek guidance. Most are contemplating a change or frustrated with the status quo.  Every conversation begins with me asking — "What are you trying to figure out?"  To which people say, "I don't know, that's why I'm talking to you! I want to start over." Now, there’s a funny thing about living inside of your own head for your entire life. You probably already know what you want and just won’t admit it. Usually a combination of fear of change and FOMO, fear of missing out is driving your forward while locked in the same place.  If you find yourself stuck, you may find yourself thinking that you just want to toss everything out and start over. Forget the fact that it’s not possible anyway. There is good reason not to start from scratch. Remember all those years living inside your mind?  Somewhere inside of you, there is lots of experience and wisdom. Over the years, you paid a hefty price for that knowledge. Although it may sound li

How Passion Creates Motivation Motivation is always lurking in our minds. Even if we're not thinking about it.  My wife, Joi, is a good example. Take one look at her, and it's easy to see Joi takes care of herself. She gets up every day and eats a healthy breakfast. Then, she dresses in her workout clothes and, without exception, exercises. No matter how late she went to bed or how late I slept in, Joi gets out of bed and heads to the gym. Since it's evident that Joi walks her walk, it's not uncommon for people to ask, "How do you do it?" — as if she is a member of "The Secret Society of Highly Motivated People Club."  It's not that complicated. I joke with Joi that she is my sexy, predictable, exciting, and somewhat dull wife. While that may sound terrible, and I wouldn't say it around Valentine's Day, I probably should. Joi takes it as a compliment — "I know. It's who I am and what I do. I don't think about it. I want to feel and look a certain way, so I do what it takes." Don't let her fool you. She thinks

Some Things Are Not Optional It happens to all of us. We're going about our day, hot on the trail of checking off items on our never-ending To-Do list. Then, we discovered that we didn't get everything done before time ran out.  When my Son was entering the workforce, we would often find time to catch up on weekends. He was trying to navigate the business world while balancing his life. He had a fast-paced job and had become a productivity ninja. He was proud of his color-coded To-Do list and calendar, but he had a problem - "Dad, no matter how organized I am, I still can't get everything done. I'm writing everything down, and I'm working through it, and I still run out of time. What am I not doing right?" My first thought was how happy I was that he had the clarity of mind to look beyond the obvious solution. Then, I had a few questions - You say you have accounted for everything. How much time did you allocate for eating lunch or running down to the coffee shop today? How many times did you visit the restro

Are You Pushing Too Hard? Have you ever found yourself in a motivated state of mind and pushing through the day?  Do you feel like everybody is hitting you with everything they have?  Blocked. Stalled. Frustrated. It is easy to want to push harder. When I was a teenager, I liked to play football, not with the school team. Uniforms and protective equipment made that too easy. It was more fun to get together after school for a rough and tumble. A game of shirts and skins with the same guys who typically wear protective gear was much more fun. One afternoon, in a particularly spirited game, though, I wasn't having as much fun as I usually did. My attitude that day was one of total domination. I arrived at the field of battle with the absolute intent of pushing as hard as possible and winning the day. The only problem was another player had the same intention. And he was knocking the crap out of me with every hike of the ball.  Play after play, we would crash into each other as much force as we could muster. Neit

Self-Inflicted Changes ROCK A couple of years ago, the world changed when we were all introduced to Coronavirus. It was as if we were racing down the Interstate at 75 miles per hour, slammed on our breaks, and directed off the nearest exit on an undefined detour. It all seemed to happen in an instant. The pandemic caused real pain and loss for some. Fear and stress for others. Still, as surreal as it was, it wasn't long before most people began to notice the craziness of our previous lives replaced with a 'new normal' - one that felt more like a 'new nothing.'  Much to our surprise, life slowed to a crawl, schedules changed, and we found contentment by not chasing every shiny object that life presented. The pandemic pause caused people to reevaluate life from the inside out. While it happens all the time, this time, we noticed it. How many times have you found yourself in an impossible situation that ended with one action?  You paid off debt, quit a job, you said goodbye to a bad relationship? How many times

Powerful and Purposeful Goal Setting   I've always believed goal setting is the heartbeat of our lives.  Goal setting is one of the most powerful tools you have to create your best life. My question to you is… do you know what your best life is supposed to be? I came upon my belief not from a book or a guru but from a realization I had many years ago. I found I was happy when I was chasing something bigger than myself that was also in alignment with how I felt on the inside. I was unhappy when I was checking items off my list and not honoring my true self. After years of pondering, I concluded that a purposeful outcome would eliminate frustration and boredom and generate excitement and enthusiasm.  That leads me to the two definitions of goals: 1) The end toward which effort is directed. 2) An area or object toward which players in various games attempt to advance a ball or puck and usually through or into which it must go to score points. Most people treat goals like the number two, a To-Do list, with a shor

What? The Best Death Ever? You are a goal-setting machine. That’s not to say you are setting, working toward, and accomplishing more goals than anybody else. It’s the way your brain is wired. If that’s the case, why is it that reaching your goal can leave you feeling lost? In 2006, I had a life-changing moment that happened in the middle of the night. My wife, Sheryl, was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and my world crashed. Even worse, they told me there wasn’t anything I could do about it.  In my world, those are fighting words. The following six weeks were a whirlwind of miracle-searching activity, including a trip to Costa Rica for alternative treatment. As the weeks passed, the reality of what was coming became real. Sheryl would not survive. We called Hospice. In the coming days, we settled into a routine that no family ever wants to go through, and that gave me the idea to call a meeting. I proposed a new goal with my kids around my wife’s bed.  “If this is going to happen, why don’t we make it the bes

Knowing Your Why AND Why Not Getting what you want in life will be two things… It will be easier than you can imagine or harder than you ever thought possible. The journey will be exciting and scary. Looking back, you will be glad you did it, yet wonder if you will ever do it again. That's why WHY is so important. You must know WHY you are doing anything to sustain your efforts. And it must be YOUR why, not somebody else's. You must own your WHY, understand your WHY, and live your WHY. Many folks are not clear on WHY, or they do it for others or other reasons. Sometimes, you might put up with one thing, hoping you'll get something else. I’m sure that you’ve found that's not the way it works. Remember, what you focus on expands. That means you’ll get more of putting up with stuff if that's what you focus on. It's true. Knowing WHY you don't want to do something is as essential as knowing WHY you want something. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Leveraging Life Cycles My friend Louis Gates introduced me to his Life Cycle theory years ago. I’m in an inspiring year.  Where are you? Cycles begin at birth and advances every nine years like this: Year 1: You decide what you want and start asking for it.   Year 2: As the pieces come together, you narrow your focus. Year 3: The resources you need begin to arrive.   Year 4: You find yourself moving toward your purpose in life. Year 5: Re-evaluation begins. Toss out what you don’t need and keep what works. Year 6: Your focus intensifies, and you work with the resources you’ve decided will benefit you. Year 7: You take stock of things that no longer serve you. Year 8: Clearing the clutter begins. It’s almost time to start the next cycle. Year 9: You explore and decide what you want to do in the next cycle. Look back on your life and notice how your Life Lifecycle is always in play. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Life-Changing Success Habits Whatever results you want in your life will be produced by your thoughts, actions, and daily habits. Most people work hard every day to make their world better. But, no matter how hard you work, life will get in the way. That’s life. That’s life’s job. That will always be life’s job. No matter how much you try, life will get in the way - and you may have noticed - you can’t think your way out of it.   But what if you didn’t have to? What if you could stop life from getting in the way of what you want? In a survey of 233 self-made millionaires, there was a huge difference in what they do daily vs lower-income earners - and they do it automatically.   They use the power of habit—figure out what they want and how to get it, and keep repeating until they get what you want. Set it and forget it. Right now, you might be sleeping in, reading occasionally, and going with the flow instead of focusing on your flow. Successful folks get up early, read a lot, and spend 15-30 minutes daily on

Focusing ON Focus  Here we are, entering the most distraction-filled time of the year.   How can you keep moving toward your goals when everything else is in the way? With Singular Focus. Singular means extraordinary, remarkable, and exceptional. Focus is a central point of attraction, attention, or activity. It’s time to focus on one activity that will move you forward. You simply won’t have time for everything else. How do you get Singular Focus? 1) Reduce your things-to-do Universe. Choose an essential item and get it done during the upcoming busy season. 2) Remember. You can have everything, but not at the same time.   3) Reduce as much interference as possible. With all the buzz coming, plan small amounts of time to work on your goal. It’s a simple truth - When you are busy with life, too many extras will bog you down. Apply Singular Focus to your most important goal. Save the others until next year. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

9 Success Principles You Need You may have heard that you will elevate your station in life to the degree that you elevate yourself. Since you are reading this today, consider yourself elevated. Even more so if you do these: 1) Acknowledge that all emotions come from within you. 2) Seek out someone you respect. Let them keep you honest. 3) Recognize there is life after failure. 4) Read purposefully. Apply your knowledge. 5) Challenge yourself to be brutally honest in everything you do. 6) Reflect on what you spend the most time on. 7) Remind yourself that you weren’t meant to procrastinate. 8) Put the phone away. Be present. 9) Time is your most precious resource. Fact. Can you imagine how much you can change in your life when you live by those principles? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Waking Up With Gratitude I woke up this morning with an incredible zest to expand my feeling of gratefulness. Well, there is not so much to expand as to recognize all the things I am grateful for but haven’t thought about lately. That’s the thing about living in a fast-paced world where our daily activities, big and small, fly by and are quickly forgotten. It’s always been that way. There is nothing new in the world. That got me thinking about one of my favorite quotes — “Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” —Robert Brault As a no-regrets guy, I admit to sometimes not living in gratitude. Thankfully, the wisdom of others is always making sure I remember what is important— Here are a few of my favorites. “If a fellow isn’t thankful for what he’s got, he isn’t likely to be thankful for what he’s going to get.”—Frank A. Clark “Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.” —Eckhart Tolle “Who does not thank

You Will Change When You Wear Yourself Out Many have said, "Life is a marathon, not a sprint."  But what happens when you find yourself doing both at the same time?  If you've been living on this planet for any time, you've figured out life is a long game made of day-to-day sprints.  You make small deposits over time if you want a big bank balance. If you want to lose weight, you make small reductions over time. If you want to get a promotion at your job, you do well every day.  The challenge happens when you have not defined the marathon you are running. A lack of a specific goal can only lead to daily activity that may or may not get you to your destination. If that happens to you, you may feel worn out, frustrated, and wondering when things will turn around.  There's good news. That kind of thinking means you are on the right track to success. Certain stamina is required to reach any goal. And society today celebrates your ability to put in the hard work no matter what.  There's only one problem.  If it's