Worst Collection Ever

The Next #1 (2006)THE NEXT is DC’s stab at a mid-80s low budget teenage movie premise about gnarly dudes and dudettes screwing with the space-time continuum, presented thru the filter of 1999 MTV Spring Break but released in the mid-2000s. The aforementioned teenagers and their translucent dog show up in our timeline, cause a young woman to get hit by a bus, only to be revived by a group of dead presidents. There’s also an unrelated space-time rip that Superman goes full Mr. Miyagi on while Metron watches because if you’re looking to launch your hip new heroes, its best to have the laziest member of the New Gods on board. There’s also a spot in here where character actor Luis Guzman received the Tongan Death Grip.Continue the conversation with Shawn and Jen on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield and email the show at worstcollectionever@gmail.com

Supreme Power #16 (2005)SQUADRON SUPREME is one of those Marvel properties that they keep trying to get to work — and it DOES to a point — but it never feels bigger than you would think it is. Here’s another take on it where Hyperion is raised by the government, Doctor Spectrum makes out with amphibious telepaths and Whizzer has a holographic mother. Special appearance by comedian and character actor Ken Marino.Continue the conversation with Shawn and Jen on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield and email the show at worstcollectionever@gmail.com

Comics’ Greatest World: Out Of The Vortex #1 (1993)Oh man, time for some Dark Horse comics! In this offering, an alien in a dope-looking outfit appears out of nowhere in a military base located in Cinnabar Flats, Nevada. “Cinnabar” makes us think of cinnamon which is appropriate because our alien guy (Vortex the Heretic) encounters opposition in the form of space spartans carrying electric Eggo waffles. When it's all said and done, a big bubble of lethal toothpaste envelopes the base while our alien antihero makes a brave Army lieutenant his “space secretary.”Continue the conversation with Shawn and Jen on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield and email the show at worstcollectionever@gmail.com

Team Titans #4 (1992)TEAM TITANS is a superhero team held up by the premise that Donna Troy’s son put chemical additives in our food around the turn of the century and made us all dummies so that we’d accept his genocide campaign. Sounds terrible but on the bright side, this gimmick stuff gave kids superpowers and, in a ploy to stop this tragedy from happening, travelled back in time to start a rock band in SoHo. We also get the love child of Kalibak and former World Champion Sheamus threatening a muscular 10yr old in the MoMa. Thank goodness for ZERO HOUR cleaning this all up for us.Continue the conversation with Shawn and Jen on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield and email the show at worstcollectionever@gmail.com

Powerline #4 (1988)We kickoff an ongoing experiment during these quarantine times as we go through a random selection of books purchased online from Mile High Comics here in Denver. Hopefully, we won’t have to get thru all of these so that we can resume purchasing dollar comics from physical bins.What we have this week is POWERLINE, a dreary book about two teens with strangely complementary powers thrust into the spotlight via some Lou Perlman manager fellow, packaged as teen heroes. They are joined by their mustachioed uncle who has the power to have a metal hands, best used for disemboweling lizard men. One of these kids looks like Joe Piscopo while the girl has Chris Jericho circa 2004 hair.Continue the conversation with Shawn and Jen on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield and email the show at worstcollectionever@gmail.com

The Mighty Thor #246 (1976)Instead of self-quarantining himself with Quarter Pounders and Errol Flynn films, Thor opts instead to disrupt a Latin American revolution because he saw that his buddy Firelord was there. Later, Thor no-sells Jane Foster disrobing and ends up getting hypnotized so overall, not a good time.Meanwhile in Asgard, Balder the Brave looks to depose Odin for banishing loyal soldiers to Cincinnati.Continue the conversation with Shawn and Jen on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield and email the show at worstcollectionever@gmail.com

World’s Finest #110 (1960)In the further adventures an insane billionaire and his alien madman friend, Bats and Supes encounter an alien who is trying to run a real estate scheme on an asteroid by miniaturizing attractions across the galaxy and starting up his own Epcot Center gimmick (but in SPACE)Things go from worse to even worse when said alien entrepreneur absorbs part of Robin’s life essence into his mirror stomach and Batman has to drive the Batmobile in reverse to save him. Meanwhile, Superman punches a bunch of holes in a community water line because he’s an idiot.Continue the conversation with Shawn and Jen on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield and email the show at worstcollectionever@gmail.com

RoboCop [vol 2] #12 (1991)In keeping with the apocalyptic vibes of the now, we check in with Marvel’s take on the RoboCop expanded universe which also includes H.E.R.B.I.E., that Rigellian Recorder who once got drunk with Galactus and Paulie’s sexy robot from ROCKY V.Bear witness as RoboCop vaporizes a limo driver with cyborg indigestion, fights off exoskeletons with human heads and has a series of existential moments with his mechanical kin.Continue the conversation with Shawn and Jen on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield and email the show at worstcollectionever@gmail.com

The Brave and The Bold # 147 (1979)Batman teams up with Supergirl to take down a bunch of sun-worshipping jobbers lead by comic book’s worst person Doctor Light. Somehow, these guys stuck a giant cannon on a Wayne Enterprises satellite when Bruce was taking a dump or something. Also, Batman is SO TOUGH he survives a brief float-around in actual outer space. He’s the toughest man alive.Continue the conversation with Shawn and Jen on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield and email the show at worstcollectionever@gmail.com

Amazing Spider-Man #257 (1984)Peter and his wacky new costume are challenged by Puma, a guy who turns into a were-cat after an hour of thinking about it. He’s also got girl problems (son) with Black Cat, who thinks Peter is a destitute jobber, and Mary Jane, who Peter throws into a closet. We also witness the Kingpin’s painfully unbalanced workout regimen.Continue the conversation with Shawn and Jen on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield and email the show at worstcollectionever@gmail.com

Wonder Woman [vol 1] #201 (1972)While on the hunt for a rage-inducing jewel hidden in Tibet, Wonder Woman runs afoul of Catwoman (in one of her lesser celebrated outfits). Eventually, both of them are captured by bloodthirsty monks who force the heroines to do battle against each other in suspended harnesses like MAD MAX BEYOND THUNDERDOME. Also, I-Ching is here, freely commenting on everything like he’s Sinbad in every movie Sinbad has ever been in. Oh, and we also go looking for Johnny Double, a private investigator who was present when Angle Man died.Continue the conversation with Shawn and Jen on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield and email the show at worstcollectionever@gmail.com

We opt to go in on the latest cinematic offering from DC Comics — BIRDS OF PREY (AND THE FANTABULOUS EMANCIPATION OF ONE HARLEY QUINN). It’s an unremarkable movie but there are are some bright spots and opportunities to build upon. Definitely worth your time to check out if you are comic book fan or if you are curious about CGI hyenas and kids swallowing diamonds and what not.Be warned though — there are a deluge of spoilers throughout so don’t say we didn’t warn you.Continue the conversation with Shawn and Jen on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield and email the show at worstcollectionever@gmail.com

Doom Patrol [vol 2] #70 (1993)This week, we check out a Vertigo-era DOOM PATROL book where the creative tries to keep the weird vibe going that Grant Morrison initiated by bringing in a villain with a penis cannon. We also find out what would happen if the mummy couple from the video for 80s new wave artist Howard Jones’s “Everlasting Love” got into the superhero game. Also, Cliff gets mentally probed by a telepathic doll, unearthing the time he met the Fantastic Mr. Fox. Continue the conversation with Shawn and Jen on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield and email the show at worstcollectionever@gmail.com

X-Men [vol 2] #67 (1997)Mutantkind is yet again under siege by Bastion, the Sentinel with a soul patch. Professor X is detained so its up to Iceman and Dr. Reyes to break into Archangel’s NYC pad and fight his Sentinel house sitter. Elsewhere, we meet up with Sabra, an Israeli mutant with the powers of super-strength and exploding clothes. Also, Sentinels.Continue the conversation with Shawn and Jen on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield and email the show at worstcollectionever@gmail.com

Green Arrow [vol 3] #28 (2003)For a while, Ollie was dead because he got his hand stuck in a bomb and it exploded while Superman watched. Thankfully for his buddy Hal, Green Arrow is BACK, chasing down Orc-looking Doomsday monsters in the Pacific Northwest with son Connor Hawke. Also, Ollie’s on a break with Dinah (shrug emoji) and hooks up with Black Lightning’s niece. In the end, Ollie gets crucified with his own arrows by a tall assassin who looks like a dweeb.Continue the conversation with Shawn and Jen on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield and email the show at worstcollectionever@gmail.com

Green Lantern [vol 2] #173 (1984)This ep is about Green Lantern. Quick question though — does anyone know how the constructs actually work? Like, does Hal have to be RIGHT NEXT TO IT for it to exist or can he fly away, go get lunch and come back to find his construct still intact?Anyway, Green Lantern comes back from space exile and goes back to work at Ferris, saves a dude from getting impaled by a girder and tries out a psionic recliner. Later, he meets Javelin, a German Olympian with Cloud Car pilots for henchmen. Javelin manages to survive the wrath of bloodthirsty truckers to do battle with GL and discover his weakness for yellow nacho cheese (this was legit before Crisis).Continue the conversation with Shawn and Jen on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield and email the show at worstcollectionever@gmail.com

Marvel Two-In-One #38 (1978)We are back from a brief holiday break with a predictably ridiculous look at MARVEL TWO-IN-ONE with The Thing and Daredevil.The Thing is in jail because he’s raging rock monster. Matt Murdock is awful at his lawyer duties in his defense of Ben so its up to Daredevil to get The Thing cleared. Daredevil then beats up Tom Atkins from HALLOWEEN III and accomplishes nothing. Thankfully, Ben just breaks out of prison because he’s super-strong and confronts the culprit, the Mad Thinker, in his sewer lair. Robot violence ensues and at the end of it all, Ben and Daredevil are pretty much going to die because they stink.Continue the conversation with Shawn and Jen on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield and email the show at worstcollectionever@gmail.com

Batman: Legends Of The Dark Knight #79 (1996)We keep on with the holiday theme as we check out Batman on a quest to find some stolen goods from Wayne Manor. First, he stops off at a peep show to talk to a blind woman, followed by YEETING some thugs with the Batmobile. It all wraps up a chemical factory with Batman smacking around some dudes with bad haircuts. Its actually a good story - no lie.Continue the conversation with Shawn and Jen on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield and email the show at worstcollectionever@gmail.com

Hawk & Dove [vol 3] #20 (1991)Its holiday adventure as Dove must save an extremely crowded (and panic-attack inducing) toy store from a Frosty with a flamethrower and a violent ballerina. Thankfully, there are ninja dinosaurs named after US Presidents nearby to lend a hand. Also, Hawk has some locker-room conversation!Continue the conversation with Shawn and Jen on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield and email the show at worstcollectionever@gmail.com

Psychoblast #9 (1988)PSYCHOBLAST is about a dude who melds with some type of powerful entity that only comes out when he sleeps. NO…..it is NOT Sleepwalker! Psychoblast is recognizable via his Best Value Quicksilver costume and “Christopher Walken as Max Shreck” hairstyle. In the last issue of his own series, Psychoblast lies unconscious in a hospital bed like a jabroni while some armored dude annihilates New Order and plans to take over the world with his techno-organic tendrils.Continue the conversation with Shawn and Jen on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield and email the show at worstcollectionever@gmail.com