Good Night

Time for us to swap Christmas stories again. Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Solstice...however you celebrate the season. This podcast features some of my favorites. Please spend a few minutes celebrating with me.

It was when I was at NBC Radio in New York one Thanksgiving long ago, that I realized that men can be considered "saintly" for several reasons. And we are given next to no credit for that. Therefore I started the "Men Are Saints" campaign. This podcast explains my perhaps..."unusual" reasoning.

Don't let your Loveboat crash on the rocks. Give this podcast a listen so you can learn to work the 6 gears that keeps it running smoothly with the wind. The ticket is free. And the drinks are on me.

There are curves and there are CURVES. And some ladies have both. Some of the girls in Sr. Mary Knucklebuster's class had the nerve to grow curves before I was ready to try to handle that. But they also put curves down on paper. It's Estrogen at work I think. Guys don't do that. Except for doctors and pharmacists, guys print. Print is Strong. Simple. Like guys. Females are fancy and curvy. This podcast explains that Estrogen difference.

This podcast is about that four foot long needle the doctor says. "Won't hurt much." It is an adventure most of us have each year. Gesundheit.

There's something Indiana Jones-ish about wearing a fedora. Makes you feel...different. This podcast explains how you can use that difference very much to your advantage. There's also a story in here about a guy who was maybe too hot for his own good. Give a listen please.

Non binery is finery for some folks, but woman & man is my plan. Does that make me a feminist? I don't know. One of the greatest feminist statements I've ever heard was said by someone who identified as a woman. Gloria Steinman. She said, "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle." Another comment about the general feeling among feminists at the time was, "If we can put one man on the moon why can't we put all of them there." I had a feminist author as a guest to talk about her book on my NBC radio talk show one night. There was a news cast on the air before my show, and the NBC Newsman had his NEWS voice going to the point where I was almost surprised that he didn't get returning fog horn whistles answering from ships in the East River. My guest almost fell on the floor laughing. I said, "What's so funny?" She said "I'm wondering how he would sound in bed with a woman saying, "I love you."

"I may not be a genie, but maybe I can make your dreams come true." "I'm not really this tall. I'm just sitting on my wallet...my dear." "Your eyes are as blue as the water in my toilet...my dear." "My dear always makes a statement sound so beautifully...sleazy. But the best opening line of all is just..."Ribbit." This podcast explains why.

This podcast claims that Hugs heal. You know how good a good hug feels. When you're down, and somebody comes along, puts a couple of warm arms around you, and gives you a squeeze and a smile...you start to want to smile right back...and you really mean that returning smile, no matter how down you just felt. It's a natural reaction. And GIVING somebody a hug is a great way to share some of the smile that you feel happy-ing inside you. Check out what happens in a baseball dugout when somebody hits a walk off grand slam home run. In fact, according to a just released Carnegie Mellon University study, a twenty second hug actually reduces the harmful, physical effects of stress, including its impact on your blood pressure and heart rate. That's because prolonged hugging releases oxytocin, which is a powerful feel good hormone in the brain. Hugs heal. And right now maybe we all need some hugging. There are some therapists who claim to be hugging experts. When somebody claims he's an expert, a big Dong goes off

There's a story about a lonely lady in this podcast. Actually, it's a story about a lot of lonely ladies. Maybe it's a story about a lonely lady you know. Or would like to know. Actually, it's a story about the fact that man or woman, the less you bet the more you lose when you win. And it's a reminder that there's a big difference between being alone, and being lonely.

I think life is too short to spend so much time arguing with strangers on the internet about politics. That's stuff that we can't really change...once voting day is over. And speaking about politics, have you noticed that almost every politician says, "We need to come together." The way we argue about political questions if we all came together it would be a disastrous collision. We'd all need football helmets. The dust would never stop flying. I think there are so many questions that are much more interesting than political stuff. For example, Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Go too fast, for too long on a Hawaiian interstate highway and you'll be going for a swim. Why can't a woman put on mascara with her mouth closed? They can't seem to do that. And think about how do bankruptsy lawyers get paid? And here's one that cuts some mustard...why do hot dogs come in packs of ten, but their buns come in packs of 8?

#6 is Snooze, #5 -Smile, #4-Scratch, #3-Shower, #2is Steak. Can you guess what's #1? To find out just give a listen to this podcast. It MAY not surprise you.

I allow him to help my lady out of her clothes and put her to bed at night. Who is this guy? And why do I let him do that? This podcast might surprise you. Give a listen please.

This podcast is about an early morning adventure. My Lady Wonder Wench and I just got back from Shaw's...our favorite breakfast diner here in Dracut, Massachusetts. I like lots of things, but I always seem to have one favorite. My Lady always orders eggs... over easy. I'm not exactly sure what over easy means. But eggs for breakfast always reminds me of a guy I know, who has what he claims is a dynamite opening pick up line about eggs. He says he goes over to the prettiest young lady at the singles bar and says, "How would you like your eggs for breakfast tomorrow morning, my dear"? Gotta add my dear to a question like that. That makes it sound so delightfully sleazy. "How would you like your eggs for breakfast tomorrow morning, my dear"? I've warned him that eventually he's going to ask a Louie Louie Generation lady with a really snappy answer. Something like "I'll keep my eggs still un-fertilized tomorrow morning thank you."

How much fun are you allowed to have with a perfect stranger, if you are already in a committed relationship? Before you answer that for yourself, how much fun would you like your partner to have with a perfect stranger? And how different would your answer be if that fun with the perfect stranger would be...in the middle of the night. Give a listen to this podcast. It might change your mind.

Soft Summer rain can be sexy stuff. So be careful if some sly, fun loving guys invite you ladies to go for a soft. sexy, soaking walk. This podcast is about what happened one night, in a soft, sexy, soaking rain.

This podcast is about using your attitude to get lots of good stuff. It's not the usual rah-rah nonsense. It'll help keep you young, without forcing you to mature. As I've told you, maturity is a trap. "Maturity" makes guys wear a jacket and tie when it's 100 degrees out, and it makes women eat a lettuce leaf for dinner. Give a listen to this podcast. If nothing else it'll give you a grin.

This podcast is about looking into a full length mirror, until it starts behaving like a crystal ball going backwards…watching some of the middle of the night ladies who made the NBC Radio studios in the RCA Building so…interesting…such a long time ago. And there's a message in it for you, if you were one of those ladies who warmed the night for me so nicely.

This podcast is about a battle to the death. Give a listen and find out who won.

I'm not sitting in my big, manly, comfortable black leather poppa chair in my living room today, like I usually am when I record my podcasts. I'm recording this podcast in the middle of the day in the middle of the summer, so I'm sittiing on a folding chair in the shade of a tree growing in my back yard. I think it's an oak. In some ways this tree reminds me of me. I figure it's about my age, but it's a lot bigger than I am. But...I'm a lot faster than Woody...even with my bum knee. Sometimes it's also a lot smarter than me. Today's podcast explains why. Give a listen please. These podcasts can sometimes grow on you.