Good Night

This podcast is about a problem most guys have. They mostly grunt at ladies. Then they spit and scratch. But Louie Louie Generation guys like me, spin stories for our ladies instead. We know that ladies like stories. And we like ladies. "Once upon a time" it is said, a little Louie Louie Generation frog told a wonderful story he called "Ribit-Ribit" to a princess. "Ribit-Ribit" was all he said. But it made her smile. He was just a little frog, but she liked his "Ribit-Ribit"story so much that she kissed him, and he instantly turned into a prince, complete with a fancy carriage. At least that's what the Princess told her mother when she walked into the bedroom and found that handsome young man in there with her daughter. Mom wasn't buying it. She had the frog's carriage toad away. It's really tough being a guy. We do the best we can with what we have to offer. But it is a problem. There's a story in this podcast about a lady who met a hard guy, and what happened one night. It's a story worth hearing.

It's called "Junk Mail." But think of the fun fantasies it can start going in your head. The Lands End catalog for example has a picture of a bunch of guys standing around in their underwear. A few pages away are a bunch of ladies standing around in their underwear. In my fantasy, I could hear one of the ladies whisper something to me. When I listened more carefully, I could hear what she was saying. "Why doesn't that guy close the magazine so we could get together with those guys and..party." Fantasies can be so much fun. Give a listen and get some of your best going.

"Shazam" is a fake magic word. "Maybe" is a real magic word. You can say "Shazam" till you run out of breath and nothing will happen. You won't get a fancy cape and the ability to fly. But when you say "Maybe" and mean it, just once, your mighty imagination fires up and goes to work. "Maybe" can change everything for you. I am sitting here in my big, comfortable, manly, black leather poppa chair, looking across the room at my lovely Lady Wonder Wench. She just came out of a shower. She's wearing a towel wrapped around her hair, her soft, blue bathrobe, and her two piece. That's her bedroom slippers...her two piece. Sometimes she slinks around here wearing just her two piece...and through the years, those have been some of my luckiest, happiest times. We've been together for a long time. And I sometimes wonder how I got so lucky. There were lots of maybes involved. It's like Stephen Hawking said: "The most exciting words in physics aren't ‘Now we know', the most exciting words in physics are "How come?" "H

Big Louie's Six Satisfactions are, Sex, Steak, Shower, Smile, and Snooze. We've managed to get half of them in this one podcast. Can you guess which half? Give a listen and see if you're right.

Lots of stories here. One is about an answering machine with a message I didn't want to hear. Another is about a woman from a long time ago. There's a little truth about both stories.

The Story Man tries to tell his tale so you feel like you're in the story. That way, you'll feel like you always have his company, and you'll never have to be lonely.

Give a listen to the 20 most important ways to get girl's attention. "Girls" in the sense of human female people of any age. I went to Fordham, and they didn't have girls there at the time. THESE ARE THINGS I HAD TO LEARN FROM HARD EXPERIENCE.

I am sitting here in my big, manly, comfortable, black leather poppa chair in my living room with an ear worm that won't go away. An ear worm is a piece of music that keeps going around in your mind, and won't go away. My ear worm started when I was reading an editorial in The Week magazine that says "Even with everything going for us, America isn't very happy. Loneliness is an epidemic, pain killers are killing US, and way too many of us are loading up on junk food and weapons." My ear worm is driving me nuts. Time to call in a doctor. My choice of doctors for this ear worm is Doctor Bobby McFerrin. Doctor Bobby McFerrin's doctor degree is from the Berklee College of Music. Doctor McFerrin wrote and recorded a song in 1988 that says, "In every life we have some trouble, but when you worry you make it double." Doctor McFerrin's prescription is in the title he gave the song. "Don't Worry Be Happy." It's a musical way of saying what Big Louie has been teaching for a couple of years in my book, Staying Happy

We have a winner in the Summer Stumper contest. Laurel Juthe from Massachusetts. "What is it that is of no use to an airplane, but the airplane cannot fly without it?" Laurel nailed it. She said, NOISE. And she's right. I'm sending her a check for $1 million...postdated to the year 2525. It's a good thing she's young so she can hope to enjoy it. Believe it or not, some young people enjoy sex more than money. Can't say that I blame them.

Wonder Wench turns on me when I drive. When I go around the corner even when I have most of the wheels on the ground. When I bump up on the sidewalk to avoid a red light, you should hear her shriek. Even when I don't hit somebody. One wrong turn and she goes ballistic, just because I'm getting off the highway using the on ramp. It's just awful.

SHAZAM!!! Pow!! "Oh my HERO!" Yes, this podcast will teach you all about the Super Hero business.

I'm sure you've heard that grammar school chant, "Liar, Liar, pants on fire." My pants have not been on fire for some time. They are folded neatly between my fanny and my big, comfortable, manly, black leather poppa chair in my living room. And my pants are not on fire because I never tell a lie. Well...hardly ever. I don't say things like, "I'm from the government, and I'm here to help you." Also "I did not chop down that damn cherry tree," "nor did I have sex with that woman." "Watch my lips, no new taxes." "Your president is not a thief. "That wasn't really me in that video." Oh no. But I must confess to an occasional "Can I tell you the truth?"

A little yellow flower poked it's head up through the frozen winter ground today. The first absolute notice that Spring is really coming. I picked it, and gave it to my Lady Wonder Wench. She keeps things like that...shells from beaches we've explored on vacations past, a shirt of mine she used to wear to bed when I was away on business over night, a very old Christmas poem I wrote a long time ago... 3D "Selfies" of the times of our lives. Her favorite story is called "Losers." It's in here too. Thanks for sharing this with my Lady and me.

How cold is it? THIS COLD!

Bogart and Bergman got it right all those years ago in their magnificent masterpiece, "Casablanca." He certainly rubbed her the right way. That's what this podcast is all about. Bergman, Bogart, Casablanca, and rubbing her the right way.

"Staying Happy Healthy And Hot" is the title of my book (Available at Amazon...shameless plug) and this podcast fits right in to help you stay..."Fit"... and therefore hot. Give a listen. IT WON'T HURT. And you'll like being "Hot." Especially in February.

This is about couple of laughs about food and flying ...and a very special lady.

I'm sitting here in my big, manly, black leather poppa chair in my living room reminding myself to take note of some of the good stuff in my life. Call it taking time to smell the roses if you like. I call it feeding my Gratitude Attitude. That means having just as much gratitude for the little stuff like taking a deep breath when you open a fresh jar of coffee, as for the big stuff like cashing a very nice check. Our Gratitude Attitude doesn't mean looking at life through rose colored glasses. Bi-focals will do just fine. "Big Louie" the head guy in my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot, keeps reminding us that we sometimes can't help what's happening in our lives, but we can help how we feel about our lives. I guess you could say it's about taking charge of where we put our emotional focus. There is a nut case dictator in North Korea, and we need to recognize that threat. But not when there's a scoop of cherry vanilla ice cream in a dish right in front of you. There's a time and a place for everything.

I'm recording this podcast while I'm sitting here in my big, manly, comfortable, black leather poppa chair in my living room…by the fireplace. I've got the kindling in place, and a couple of logs stacked on top. When I am finished recording this podcast I am going to start a big, beautiful, warm, cozy fire, and I may try to interest my Lady Wonder Wench in an experiment that has to do with shared, bodily warmth. It is so cold out that when somebody says "Hello," you can see his lips move, and a little puff of cloud comes out of his mouth, but all you hear is a little clunk because the frozen sound of the word hits the ground. You've got to pick it up and thaw it out to hear it. It is so cold, flocks of chickens are trying to break into the KFC so they can warm up in the fryer. Male dogs are getting stuck to fire hydrants in the most embarrassing way. Guys are no longer accepting phone calls from funny relatives in Florida. People are shivering like donuts at a weight watchers meeting. When I came into t

I'm sitting here in my big, manly, comfortable black leather poppa chair in my living room, recording this podcast about a week after New Years. It's cozy in here but it is cold outside. This is kind of an in between time for the next couple of weeks. We seem stuck In the middle together somehow. Auld Lang Syne has just recently faded out, but we can still reasonably wish folks "Happy New Year." Pretty soon that will fade out too, and we'll be back to "Have a nice day." When that happens, instead of just saying, "You too" try saying, "Thanks, but I have other plans" then watch to see the look on the "Have a nice day-sayer's" face. I'll bet you don't even get a double take more than ten percent of the time. Because most people aren't really listening. "Have a nice day" usually really means, "Ok, I'm finished with you, now what's next?" That feels cold ...inside, which is more uncomfortable than the cold that's outside.