Grow Your Business Fast | The Evil Bald Genius Unleashed

Best advice I ever received? Was about my daughter and how to save her life (literally). Had nothing to do with business. Except it did. Watch the vid and I'll explain (you can thank me later). Then... take action and join us for Ground Zero, and I'll show you how to plug the whole shebang into your own business. Here’s the link for Ground Zero: http://growyourbusinessfast.co.uk/ground-zero And add me on Facebook if you REALLY want to get to know me (an acquired taste) https://www.facebook.com/JonMcCulloch

My JRT kills rats. It's in his blood. But that takes him only so far. To become a better ratter... ... he has to kill rats. And the more rats he catches and kills... the better he gets. Practice makes perfect, you know? Guess what? This is directly relevant to your local biz. How? Watch the vid. Then... if you're a local business and ESPECIALLY if you're in one of the traditional trades... click the link - http://growyourbusinessfast.co.uk/ground-zero And add me on Facebook if you REALLY want to get to know me (an acquired taste) https://www.facebook.com/JonMcCulloch

The price of freedom? Eternal vigilance. In fact, that's the price of anything. And when your business is going OK you take your eye off the marketing ball and the rot sets in. Watch the vid and I'll share with you how insidious and DANGEROUS it is (and why I feel like I've been gang-raped by a herd of viagra-popping adolescent wildebeest). Then, if you run a bricks 'n' mortar local business do yourself a MASSIVE favour and get on the list for Ground Zero. Oh, and add me as a friend on FB if you have a strong constitution and want to know more about the man with his hand up a puppet's arse. Here’s the link for Ground Zero: http://growyourbusinessfast.co.uk/ground-zero And add me on Facebook if you REALLY want to get to know me (an acquired taste) https://www.facebook.com/JonMcCulloch

Myth: the Internet has "killed" local businesses. It's not. And if you think it has... ... it's because you're shirking the responsibility incumbent on you for making your own market. Watch the vid and I'll show you EXACTLY why it IS a myth and how you can immunise your own bricks 'n' mortar biz against low-priced competition from online retailers and out-of-town stores. And when you've got your head around the idea... ... take action and join us for Ground Zero. http://growyourbusinessfast.co.uk/ground-zero/

Following the latest trends, jumping on the newest platforms, and chasing every Bright Shiny Object guaranteeing to make your life and business perfect (and you slimmer, richer, and more sexually appealing)? If so... ... you're an idiot. Watch the video and see why I say that. Then...? If you're running a local bricks 'n' mortar biz, you're sick and tired of the shit going down in the high street, and you want to save yourself from the the zombie apocalypse... Take action and joins us for Ground Zero. http://growyourbusinessfast.co.uk/ground-zero/

Getting negative comments? I hope so. Because if you're not, then you're not trying hard enough (rule of thumb: if you haven't pissed someone off by lunchtime every day, then you're SLACKING). And if you do get them? How do you handle them? What you don't wanna do is engage them. Instead... ... watch the vid. And then join us for Ground Zero for the skinny on how to do it for yourself. And it's particularly important for local biz where you've got the in-your-face pissing and moaning and backbiting of your competitors. So... Decorators Electricians Plumbers Kitchens Bathrooms Bedrooms Conservatories Double glazing Roofers Builders Sheds Landscaping Interior design Curtains Furniture Carpenters and joiners ... all that home improvement shit Motor mechanics Accountants Lawyers Healthcare practitioners High-end retail Printers ... You get my drift. If that's you then join me for Ground Zero http://growyourbusinessfast.co.uk/ground-zero/

Governments are not here to help and the only way local bricks 'n' mortar businesses are gonna save themselves from the high street zombie apocalypse is to take responsibility for yourself — think globally, act locally. That's it. Anything else is futile (and that's not my opinion — that's what mathematics says). Why? What? When? And how? Watch the vid. And then... ... join us for Ground Zero and nail this shit for yourself — permanently. http://growyourbusinessfast.co.uk/ground-zero/

Brexit? Do me a favour. I have no opinion. Why? Because no one can fuck things up as monumentally as governments can. I explain it all in the vid. Much as you think this it might all be unfair — having to work to make your business a success — and perhaps think government should use a big stick somehow to level the playing field with higher taxes for online retailers, it’s a fact you’re going to have to roll your sleeves up and delve deep into the bowels of your business. You can’t change the facts: if you want things to change, you have to change things, first. Ultimately there will be two groups: businesses which adapt and overcome; and businesses which do nothing more than fight an unwinnable fight and vanish without trace. You can’t change this. But you can pick which group you’re in. Join us for Ground Zero and we’ll share with you everything you need to know to be among the last ones standing. http://growyourbusinessfast.co.uk/ground-zero/

The real secret to success? Is no secret at all. Because while we'd all like to believe there's a magic pill to make us thin and sexy, an arcane potion to give us bigger muscles (and dicks), and some hidden secret to success in life, business, and everything... ... but we all know it's bollocks. The real secret to success lies in taking responsibility for making shit happen and then doing the fucking work. That's one of the underlying principles of Ground Zero — and if you're the owner of a local bricks 'n' mortar business and you want to take back control of your destiny in the face of predatory online retailers, big out-of-town stores, and the incompetent bumbling of local and national governments, then you should join us. http://growyourbusinessfast.co.uk/ground-zero/

Work with me an Connor... ... and you'll find with his fucked up body and my fucked up head, you end up with almost a whole person. But it's all to the good, because the Lord Giveth and the Lord Taketh Away... Watch the vid and you'll see. Then take action. http://growyourbusinessfast.co.uk/ground-zero/

What's "normal"? Whatever you'll tolerate. And, amazing creatures that we are... ... we can (and do) get used to almost anything. Drink every night for long enough (and not as long as you think), and waking up feeling like shit is the norm. Been there, done that. I didn't have a drink problem, but I was drinking too much, too often (it's also how I got so tubby all those years ago. And in the vid I share with you the story a mate of mine who has three bottles of vodka a day... that's HIS normal). News flash: your biz is the same. If your life, business, or relationships are shit and you've settled into a way of thinking where you accept things as they are... ... because that's the way things are... ... then you're the equivalent of the alcoholic who's inured to hangovers and accepts a saggy, baggy head of a morning as being de rigueur. The answer? Change the way you do things. If you want a solid, robust, profitable, and ENJOYABLE business where you're attracting the best clients, selling at prem

LinkedIN is a hotbed of marketing agencies and their ilk. And from what I've seen... most of them understand marketing in the same way I understand social etiquette, the rules of cricket, and why women have so many fucking products in the bathroom. And I can boil down their incompetence into three areas of inadequacy. I share them with you in the vid. And if you think I make sense, then join us for Ground Zero. And if you don't... it's OK. You're entitled to be wrong. http://growyourbusinessfast.co.uk/ground-zero/

Harsh reality: all the shitty metrics you’re tracking in your marketing are pretty much all worthless. They’re “vanity metrics”, and while they might moisten your gusset, they do fuck-all for your bottom line. Watch the vid and you’ll see why. And when you’ve done that? Click the link below and join us for Ground Zero (unless you think Tesco accept “likes”, “shares”, and “comments” as payment). growyourbusinessfast.co.uk/ground-zero/

We should stop saying “how stupid can you get?”, because people are taking it as a challenge. And they’re damned good at it. Case in point: marketing “guru” claiming he’s discovered a “new marketing paradigm”. But he’s not. He’s either mistaken, profoundly ignorant, or just plain dishonest. The expression "lying bag of pus" comes to mind). The über-mistake? They confuse and conflate tactics and strategies (because they’re too stupid to understand the difference between them). Feh. Principles first. Then tactics. A simple and proven approach. Boring, unsexy, and profoundly old-school. If you’re into glitzy new bright shiny objects, this won’t interest you in the slightest. More fool you. But if want to poke a sharp stick into the soft underbelly of grassroots marketing in your high street and local area, then you know exactly what to do… … watch the vid for the details (and a lot of ranting and bad language)… … then… … click the link below and join us for Ground Zero. http://growyourbusinessf

Do you know what the biggest sin in marketing is? I bet you don't. It's not writing copy or recording videos which are "too long". It's not offending people and getting their knickers in a twist. Nor is it being "unprofessional". Nope. It's being BORING. If you try to be all things to all men and women, then you'll end up being nothing to anyone... ... and your business will reflect that. The answer? In the vid. And then, for the "how to" so you can plug it into your own business? Click the link below and join us for the Ground Zero initiative. http://growyourbusinessfast.co.uk/ground-zero/

More than once I've been told I give others permission to be themselves. While I appreciate the sentiment, it's not even remotely true. More to the point, you don't need to "grow a pair"; rather, you need only to gain the confidence and learn to swing the pair you already have. I share why this is so important in the vid. And when you're done, click the link in the comments and join us for the Ground Zero initiative (it's all balls, you know). http://growyourbusinessfast.co.uk/ground-zero/

Me and another bloke. Role playing. Even video at first. You know the REAL reason I don’t do role play? Watch the vid. Look carefully around the 01:47 mark for about 30secs where you’ll see me struggle to get my words out — my voice tone changes, and you can probably see it’s tough even talking ABOUT it. I’m not upset or distressed, but it IS difficult and I’m rapidly approaching meltdown territory because I’ve run out of processing power. In this case I’m in full control of the situation and my environment, so there’s no danger of actually having a meltdown; but you can see how in a busy over-stimulating place it easily spirals out of control and I shut down. In short, I simply don’t have the concepts and the words to talk ABOUT the topic let alone engage someone IN it. Strange but true. Fascinating stuff, if you’re interested in this shit, and just one example of how autism affects us, even though we seem supremely competent in so many areas. So… why should you care about any of this? Great qu

Courage, confidence, and integrity. I don’t just talk the talk. I walk the walk. A small (but telling) example from real life last weekend. Watch the vid (then take action — link in the comments). Oh… and the missing apostrophe on the video cover? Blame Connor. Fucking retard. Ironic since he and his dad were saying Connor’s covers are better than mine. Fuckwits. Fuckwits. Everywhere. Anyway… you know what to do. Watch. Absorb. Click and join us for Ground Zero growyourbusinessfast.co.uk/ground-zero/

You know what inadequacy and cowardice sound like? People pissing and moaning about things they can’t control or influence while paying scant attention to the shit they CAN control. Cowardice? Sure. Because by blaming external events and forces you pathetically let yourself off the hook for taking control of your own destiny (and if that’s YOU, then we’ll never get along). It may come as a surprise to discover I’m not a religious man, but, apart from the first word, I do like this snippet from the Serenity Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference Makes a lot of sense once you take the mythical, bloodthirsty, misogynistic, and kiddy-fiddler-loving deity out of it. But there’s more to it than that – watch the vid, and I’ll share it with you. Then click the link - growyourbusinessfast.co.uk/ground-zero/

Everything's settled and all you’re waiting for is the autograph… … so you get into a panic and drop the price. Just “in case”, right? Ring a few bells? And while you make all kinds of bullshit excuses to yourself for doing it, the truth is it boils down to your own lack of backbone. AND… … it’s a BIG mistake. Why? Three reasons. I share them with you in the vid (worth watching because I promise you’re gonna learn some valuable shit). And then… click the link below and join us for the Ground Zero initiative (worth doing because I promise you’re gonna learn a fuckton MORE valuable shit). http://growyourbusinessfast.co.uk/ground-zero/