Green Blooded Bastard's Movie Commentary Podcast

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Fast And The Furious.  This movie is about some small dicked fuck heads that drive shit rice burners and think they are awesome and they steal shit and fucking crap.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Hercules.  In this movie The Rock runs around semi naked kicking ass and looking for BJs at every turn while wearing a fucking lion's head as a fucking hat!  This movie is ok, but Brett Ratner makes shit movies so throw back a few tall ones and say it with me... fuck it!

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Batman: The Killing Joke.  In this movie the Batman gets to fight the Joker kind of!  The Joker is out there romping and stomping crippling bitches and stuff.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Matrix.  In this movie Neo is a smooth talking computer programmer from Chicago where they not only blow whistles, but also blow minds!  fml.   *NOTE* the original recording lost sync so i had to re-record over half the podcast so that's why the first half might sound a bit shitty and off.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Saw 4.  This movie is yet another sequel to a sequel to... fucking kill me and there is fucking Donnie Wahlberg again! I'm starting to regret doing this damn series already and sadly I have several more to go.  I'll stop now fucking pop pills now.  

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Transporter.  This movie is about a guy named Transporter... um Frank Martin who drives cars and delivers shit unless you double cross him and blow up his car.  He's got a "girlfriend" and he fucks shit up plus skydiver.   enjoy suckas!

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Special Correspondents.  In this film  Ricky Gervais and  Eric Bana are a couple of loveable losers that are hiding out from  Kevin Pollak.  Their hip shooting gets them further and further into trouble.  While shit is slowly hitting the fan  Vera Farmiga is fucking great and sexy and  Kelly Macdonald is into  Ricky Gervais and wishes that he was inside her.  America Ferrera is having fun while  Benjamin Bratt  is like wtfbbq?!?!

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Batman: Under The Red Hood.  In this movie the Batman gets to fight demons from his past!  The Joker is out there romping and stomping... I'll stop now.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Saw 3.  This movie is yet another sequel to a sequel to a somewhat classic and they amped up the gore even more and they tried to make Donnie Wahlberg seem like a capable actor again! This third one just keeps amping up the gore and views like a railed up ride or a video game that you just watch and point and click once in awhile.     bleh.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Crank.  This movie is about a guy named Deadpool... um Chev Chelios who kills people and fucks shit up so he doesn't die.  He's got a hot girlfriend, a funny Doctor and his roommate is a blind black woman... um I mean this is Crank, not Deadpool.    I'll stop now.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Halloween: Resurrection.  This movie is a pretty shitty sequel in this franchise, but still better than those horrible middle ones.     This is not the one with Paul Rudd in it.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Independence Day.  This movie is the prequel to a fairly shitty movie that just came out.  There is alien rape(brent spiner) and a black pilot(will smith) and a jewish man boy cable repair man(jeff goldblum) and i'm pretty sure that i passed out a few times while recording this.     fml son.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Tomorrowland.  This movie is directed by the Iron Giant dude and written with the Lost guy.  It's a perfectly average movie that looks pretty, but it takes a long time to get anywhere fun which is too little too late for my fucking tastes.  Bleh.  Anyway it's an ok film, but not high on my lists of rewatching fun time stuff.  Fuck it.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Saw 2.  This movie is the sequel to a somewhat classic and they amped up the gore and they tried to make Donnie Wahlberg seem like a capable actor! This second one tries to push forward in new directions, but fails somewhat in certain aspects, but is still on the better side of these Saw movies.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Now You See Me.  In this movie there are 36 ninjas and the are crazy fast and can do magic like nobody knows!  Jk, but there are these 4 playas known as the 4HorseM3N and they fight for the little guy and like to fuck shit up son!   NOW YOU SEE ME bitches.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Scream.  In this movie a girl named Scream is hunted by some crazy fuckers and is forced to... Scream!  There were some production issues with this episode so if it sucks then i'm sorry and fuck you.

  The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Alien vs. Predator.  Paul W.S. Anderson fucking hates us all and gives us this shitfest!  This movie is a combination of a great franchise and an average(but loved) franchise that was forced to hate fuck each other while doing massive amounts of drugs on camera.  I'm not even joking... that's the fucking story son.  Aliens + Predators + fml = this fucking movie.  kill me now please.  

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Saw.  This movie is a somewhat classic in that it kicked horror off into a new and gore filled direction.  This first one has it's flaws, but is still an ok watch from time to time and is still one of the better films in this series.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Deadpool.  This movie is about a guy named Deadpool who kills shit and can't die.  He's got a hot girlfriend, a funny friend named after an animal and his roommate is a blind black woman... what more could you possibly ask for?  

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches G.I. Joe: Resolute.  In this movie Cobra tries to anal rape the world again and almost achieves it until the resolute Joes turn the tables and push Cobra's shit in!   America Fuck Yeah!