System Mastery

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2016/09/system-mastery-78-batman-roleplaying-game1.mp3 Da na na na na na na na na na na na na na na TABLES.  TABLES.  It’s Batman, all right.  Man is it ever Batman.  As a spinoff of a larger game, this game really knew how to focus.  But can the tone overcome the mechanics?  Nope!

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2016/09/system-mastery-77-blue-planet.mp3 Cyborg orcas, mutant cat super scientists, “squids” and more await you on the distant water planet ingeniously named “Poseidon.”  You can make all sorts of amazing characters that certainly could have all sorts of amazing adventures, though I don’t think we ever figured one out.  It’s Blue Planet!  You’re going to tolerate it!  Note that the cover art we used from the poster is way cooler than the book, we just got lucky and found that on the internet.

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2016/08/system-mastery-76-macho-women-with-guns1.mp3 Aw yeah, we got your boobsplosions, your vagcapitations, and your brutal wombsaws all up in this one.  It’s Macho Women with Guns, a parody game that uses generous margins and a lot of art to lightly spread a surprisingly complicated game over about 60 exploitative pages.

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2016/08/system-mastery-75-add-2nd-edition.mp3 It’s our three year anniversary here at System Mastery!  Jon and Jef entered the bonds of holy podcastimony in August of 2013 and it’s been wonderful ever since, except for those times we’ve cheated with One Shot.  As per tradition, every 25 episodes it’s D&D time, and episode 75 is no exception as we take a long hard look at the classic 2nd edition of AD&D.  You know the one, it’s got all that bad blue art of nothing in particular and that weird picture of a giant fat guy looking at a tiny lady in his palm?  That one!  Enjoy!

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2016/08/system-mastery-74-testament-d20.mp3 Okay, we were getting a little too friendly about games and movies around here, it was high time we picked something to straight up laugh at.  This is Testament, the best idea for a D20 supplement with more than one feat for farmers ever.

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2016/07/system-mastery-73-feng-shui.mp3 This game was about as good as everyone told us it would be.  “Don’t cover it” they said.  “It’s not even for you guys.”  Well we showed them, those guys I just made up.  Feng Shui is an action movie RPG where you’re basically supposed to constantly do the most badass thing you can all the time until you die or win.  It’s very neat.  Please enjoy.

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2016/06/system-mastery-actual-play-love-dread.mp3 Vacations can’t stop us, and neither can federal holidays.  Step right up and listen to our first full-length Actual Play episode, featuring the doomy tale of the Valentine’s Day killer assaulting… well I’m not actually sure what city this ended up being after all the arguing.  We combine amazing RPG Dread (not to be reviewed by the likes of us) and ridiculous Jenga ripoff Love Jenga (LOVE COMMUNICATION) to form one terrifying night of high school romance gone horribly wrong.  Special guests include Arian, Devin, and Sydney.  Thanks team!

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2016/06/system-mastery-72-everway.mp3 What’s in this box?  Who drew a big circle on the cover?  What’s up with the grey swirly mist situation in the background?  In Everway, players make characters by telling each other stories about little picture cards with questions on the back.  A faux tarot deck is also involved.  It’s a bizarre, beautiful, isolated gem  that was too weird to evolve any further in the gaming world, and we got a copy.

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2016/06/system-mastery-71-rifts-part-2.mp3 Well, here we are.  We put Rifts in the rearview.  We still love this dumb game.  In today’s episode, we finish our discussion of the core book.  RCCs, OCCs, psionics, magic, and the crazy world of Rifts Earth.  Don’t forget to check out the bonus content over on our Patreon if you haven’t already joined that train.

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2016/05/system-mastery-70-rifts-part-1.mp3 We hope you’re as ready for this as we are.  After 70 episodes, it’s time to review the game that somehow started both of us down the path that ultimately led to System Mastery existing at all.  Rifts was the first game for both teenage Jef and teenage Jon, and somehow we grew into almost functional adults anyway!  We can’t even begin to cram everything crazy about this book into one episode, so watch this space in two weeks for Part 2.

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2016/05/system-mastery-69-gurps-discworld.mp3 Today is good day for somebody else to die!  We almost like Discworld TOO much, so we start by trying our hardest to review GURPS Lite.  After that, it’s a visit to the back of the Great Turtle in this licensed game that was actually written in part by the source that’s being licensed!  It’s Discworld, it’s powered by GURPS, and also there’s some music with rocks in.

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/system-mastery-68-bunnies-burrows.mp3 This game has achieved a sort of fame because the name implies that it might be sort of friendly and cuddly.  It’s been referenced in other games as the RPG you should seek out if you’re looking for an easy time.  Like the training wheels of games.  Well let me tell you now, what they called training wheels in 1976 is what we’d call “not punching your kid for falling off the bike” now.  This game may only be 39 pages long, but 39 is also the number of minutes you can expect your rabbit to live.  It’s Bunnies & Burrows, and nature is red in tooth and saving throw.

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2016/04/system-mastery-67-seventh-sea.mp3 No really, it’s genuine this time!  An actual review of the first edition of the famous swashbuckling RPG 7th Sea.  An interesting blend of very familiar mechanics, curious ideas for character creation, and not-Europe world building created by famous RPG advice dingus John Wick.  This game has a hell of a following.  The 2nd edition was recently the most well-funded RPG kickstarter to date!  But before we dig into the new, let’s take apart the old in today’s (real, actual) review of 7th Sea.

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2016/03/system-mastery-66-7th-sea.mp3 April Fools!  This is really more about an hour of digressions.  People keep asking what the point is, so here’s the point of that.  Actually have you ever seen the movie “The Point?”  That was weird, right?  Just that wobbly 70s line-art cartoon style you see in stuff like Pink Panther and occasional sex-ed cartoons, and a bunch of stuff designed to encourage you to think for yourself.  Sorta boring, honestly.  So yeah, the basic concept behind the April Fools joke was… y’know what I’ve noticed over the past few years is more people complaining about April Fools then people actually doing any April Fool’s thing.  I assume that’s more about the rise of meme-language.  Not that many people actually legitimately hate April Fool’s but anyone will share any image that has a minion in it.  That seems reasonable.  Hey, look at this clip.  Okay, I think that about wraps it up. While there’s certainly reams of dirt to dish on the author

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2016/03/system-mastery-65-the-great-war-of-magellan.mp3 So… this one didn’t really have any art assets large enough to use for the rotating display thing.  Please enjoy a fine Magellanic Penguin.  It’s as relevant as anything else would have been.  This game is about a big war in space between the evilloids and the goodites.  It was written by a fellow who starred in the 70s Battlestar Galactica.  There’s a surprising amount of information about agriculture.  Have a good time!

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/system-mastery-64-dragonball-z.mp3 It took us a long time to get to this book because we were gathering power.  This week we present our in-depth analysis of this RPG about gathering balls.  It’s Dragonball Z, the Anime Adventure Game, also available as a wall scroll or plastic maquette!

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/system-mastery-63-synnibarr-3rd.mp3 We stop by the realms of Raven “Combat Spanking” McCracken once more to see if there’s still the fires of mad genius behind his eyes.  Will we find more incredible insanity?  Or did he, like Icarus, sail too close to the sun?  Join us on a journey of discovery, won’t you?

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/dinosaur-planet-broncosaurus-rex-system-mastery-62.mp3 It’s become apparent over time that there are a few archetypes of bad games.  You’ve got Vision of a Madman, as seen in Synnibarr or Skyrealms of Jorune.  Fun-Hating Deathslog, as seen in any number of heartbreakers and serious business games.  Then there’s Boring Trifle, a catch-all category that covers any game that is too boring or derivative to hold the imagination.  Today’s game is a category we think of as the One Weird Thing, which is a game that would be perfectly serviceable, except the author has this one weird thing.  What’s the one weird thing about Broncosaurus Rex, a game that sounds like it’s probably about cowboys riding space dinosaurs?  Well if you guessed a ludicrous amount of Confederacy apologia, give yourself a prize and then ask yourself why that was your first guess.

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2016/01/system-mastery-61-ralph-bakshis-wizards.mp3 Someone must have really liked our review of the movie, because the demand for this was pretty high.  Today we present Wizards: the RPG.  The game that finally tells us the name of the movie’s famous horseballs (which we reject because they are called horseballs).

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2016/01/system-mastery-60-gamma-world.mp3 Today we’re thrilled to bring you a game where you can play as a swarm of tiny yetis hanging around with a robot hawk and have an amazing, basically balanced game.  Gamma World 7th edition is a favorite here, and we’re starting 2016 with a breath of radioactive post-apocalyptic fresh air.  Don’t worry, in two weeks we’ll be down in the filth showing off the filthiest bits of filth to each other, like two Gollums.  For now though, enjoy this legitimately awesome game.