Building A Better Dave

You must run do not walk to your television listing and find the Hallmark Channel. They are running the same movie (disguised with a different name) over and over.  There will be lots of crying as Christmas is almost ruined, then, in the end, you find in the nick of time that Yes, Yes, (cheesy storyline) is true! It will start people like Shelly Long (remember her from Cheers), Angie Dickinson (isn't she dead) and lots of people from sitcoms that you watched in the 80's and 90's that kind find work anyplace else and have no integrity. 

I went to Washington DC last week. I met a girl who does a show called "Good Grief." She started recording her podcast after he died and she found out he had a second family with two additional children of which she was one. Woa. I also got to meet Darwyn Dave who does the show Dealing With My Grief. Darwyn's Dad was murdered. Damn. Like straight up murdered. So I listened to these shows on the way home. This lead to some strange thinking, and emotions bubbling through. Emotional Triggers I focus on the weirdest things lately. My brother got pretty sick a little while ago and he had a weird situation where he was sweating under a bunch of blankets because he was freezing. He had lost a lot of color, and looked bad. It was spooky even though I knew he would pull through. The bottom line is we are out of Grandparents, we have a few Aunts to play, one Uncle who is 94, and then we become the next generation in line. You know and I know that it's going to get here sooner or later. There is nothing we can do about

A West Virginia school during Patriotism week made a sign about their opponent from Pittsburgh. They made the sign red white and blue, and the sign read, "Trump Perry." It did not say, "WE HATE BLACK PEOPLE." A football banner is intended to intimidate the other team. My high school was Ellet High School so Ellet rhymed with Smell iT. As our mascot was a giant Orange Hulk, and we were known as the Orangemen, we often saw many signs about "Squeezing the Orangemen." Our arch rival was Springfield High School. Springfield had a lake. So we called students from Springfield, "Swamp Rats." I guess by today's standards we were bullying when we played the fight song after a touchdown. I can't believe this made the news. Instead of the superintendent from the WV school writing an apology, they should've suspended the LIBRARIAN for being a narcissist and making everything about her, and for not being able to process any opinion besides her own. While I can't "tell you how to feel" you should be willing, and wanting to

I was born and raised in Akron Ohio, and my elementary school had one African-American student (Melody Hardy) and she sat right next to me. What I'm worried about is it seems if a white person says something that is insensitive, they are INSTANTLY labeled a RACIST.  If a person is like me, we aren't racist - we are untrained. We've had zero practice dealing with different cultures and races. If a white person says something that sounds racist, it may be that they are missing some key ingredients in their education of what it's like to be a person of color.  The problem is if we are all waiting with our "guns" locked and loaded, then everyone (especially white folks) don't start any conversations. The ability to grow, and understand other cultures is limited if we don't open up the door to understanding different perspectives. As someone who constantly hears about "White privilege," it sounds like all I need is to be white and have a penis and I will never have anything to worry about. It didn't work for my Da

I haven't been to a McDonald's in quite some time, and apparently, we've come a long way from the days of the paper hat and smock. Maybe it's just me flashing back to the days when I had to have my hair above my collar to keep my job.Maybe it's because I'm the only person on the planet who doesn't have a single tattoo, but some of the people who serve my food at the drive through are startling. I drive up to the window to hand them my ATM card and they turn around and HOLY CRAP! It looks like the dove face fist into a tackle box. I don't care that you have enough hardware in your face to pick up a shortwave radio stat, but when you're not ready for it, it can be quite a surprise. Tonight I went to a Books a Million (BAM) and was surprised to see they had installed a Library in the coffee shop. There were at leat 10 people who are not "Skimming" a book to see if they should buy it, but starting at page 1 and going straight through. I swear one guy was in there the last time I was in this location. At some poin

Today I talk about how I'm stuck. I don't want to be a person who lives in the past.  On the flip side, if I don't remember life changing events is that disrespectful? There is a great quote in the Sheryl Crow song "Every Day is a Winding Road" and she asks, "Why am I a stranger in my own life?" I talk about the day I watched my Mom breakdown upon hearing her father's voice for the first time in a long time. So now I'm worried about playing an old tape that has my Mom's voice. I don't want to be "THAT GUY" who is always talking about his Mom. At this point, I've spent more time without her than I did with her.  So I get really worried that I spend too much time looking back.   

So I was halfway filling out the application at match.com when I hear a familiar voice in my head ask, "Is that what you're going to wear?"  There is a part of me that feels I need someone to go through life with, and someone to hold my hand, when I get old and feeble. This might've been brought on by the Death of my Dad followed by my Aunt, but I can see the bus coming, and it's a ways off, but its not that far away. So I am torn between two worlds.  And today I decided to turn on a microphone and talk about it. 

Today I share what it was like to go through the holidays ALONE last year.  As horrifying as that might sound, there were some perks. 

Today I talk about the lost art of losing gracefully.

Today I talk about a negative voice in my head that just always seems to be there. Always. Lately something has not felt normal. Something was weird. Something didn't feel right.  It turns out the thing that wasn't wrong, was there wasn't something wrong.  I'm not dreading going home I'm not under lots of stress. I like my job. I'm not super stressed about money I'm pretty sure, that it may be a while before I get in another argument.  I feel respected.  What is this feeling? Holy cow, I'm happy. I forgot what this has felt like. Much like a dog who has been beat too much, I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop - and it's not.  You can feel bad about yourself when you compare yourself to others.  The American life is to have a spouse, a house and kids. Well I have no spouse, probably not going to have a house, and the kids boat has sailed. If I think about this too much, I can feel like I've missed something. Yet, I have a great life. I'm sitting in air conditioning, employed, I'm down 30 lbs.  Life i

Last weekend I was driving to the place where I ride my bike. It beautiful. I get out there, relax, and enjoy nature. This week I was driving and I passed signs for Brian and Linda's wedding, and then the reception. I thought of how happy Brian and Linda must be on this day. It was an awesome day to sweat 20 lbs off in a tux. I thought of how I felt on my wedding days. Yes, there have been two. With this in mind, you can learn from people who succeed at something, or you can also learn from people who fail at something so I feel I have some good advice from a divorced guy. Pick Your Battles, and Your Battle Times Your spouse is not perfect. This you need to learn right up front. Your life will not be perfect. How you handle the reality of that is HUGE part of how your marriage will go. This doesn't mean you become a welcome mat for your spouse to walk over, but you do need to set realistic expectations. With this in mind, let some things roll off your back. Wait a day or two to see if it is still bugging you.

I went and saw Captain America Civil War, and I missed Batman Vs Superman. Why is everyone fighting? What is up with that? I also talk about "The new Normal" and why old people are grumpy. 

Today Dave shares his insights from a tip to Michigan where Toyota owners are not exactly welcome. Really? This is how you get me to purchase your car in the future by punishing me? Then my phone went into roaming…. Why is channel 2 in Japanese? You've got to watch the Netflix show Making a Murderer. It's super interesting and keep in mind: If you are ever have a legal problem that relies on common sense, YOU'RE SCREWED The interesting thing is some of the people in this documentary are not that intelligent, and yet THEY STILL GET TO VOTE.

It’s been 5 months since I’ve documented my life. I’m trying to do this without throwing people under the bus, pointing fingers, cause in the end – it doesn’t matter. I am now divorced. Pointing fingers will not change that, so I take the high road and wish the best for my (oh, good God – now SECOND) ex-wife. So I’m living alone. Me and a cat. Bernie. I’ve never been a cat person, but Bernie is OK. There are times when its nice to just have another heartbeat under the roof. I’m not looking for as pitty party. It is what it is. I feel we did what we could. We spend thousands on counseling. We knew what to do, but thanks to our childhoods, our experiences, we are wired the way we are, and we couldn’t change. As a teacher, I find this fact hard to believe. I believe in constant improvement. In the end, I guess a leopard can’t change it’s spots, and a Zebra can’t change it’s stripes. At that pint you either accept what you have (even if it’s not exactly what you want) or you move on. Things I’ve Learned So Far Ge

I ruined an Angel. I did. There was an Angel in my mother-in-laws bathroom. Its been there for years. One day while peeing, I looked up and noticed it had something (maybe a book) in its one hand, and in the other it had a candle with no wick. A candle with no wick, and the top of it slight indentation around it. It looked falic. Now there are certain words you don't use around your mother-in-law. You are still trying to help be happy that her daughter is married to you. That's the plan at least. But one word I typically do not use around my mother in law "Dildo." So on the way home I told my wife (trying to be weird, shocking and goofy) "Why is the Angel in the bathroom holding a Dildo?" To this I believe my wife just said ," David?... sigh..." My warped sense of humor that she found unique as we were dating has lost its magic. Never in my life would I think my wife (my trusted and most intimate partner) would tell her mother, "Dave thinks the Angel in the bathroom is holding a Dildo." Now for the record, I

Today I share a story about playing an outdoor festival with my band "The $ugar Daddies" on a July fourth weekend. We headlined this outdoor festival. The bad news is nobody had tested the power going to the flatbed truck along with the power so that by the time my band took the stage we needed the lights. The bad news as is soon as we turned them on, the power would trip a breaker. The solution? We had to play the indoor stage where there was no air conditioning and it was easy 95+ degrees with the giant holiday weekend crowd. It was one of those nights that everybody was hitting on all points and we just had that groove. Everything was just working.  Then it came time for me to do the Song "Texas Flood" by Stevie Ray Vaughn. This was a song that I just got to "Go Off" on and have fun. To this day, it was like being hit by lightning. I felt what I wanted to play from my toes and it just shot out my fingers. It was awesome. The crowd reacted. It was a feeling like no other. The band lasted a few more years,

This week I am home alone (feel free to put your hands on your face and make a face like Macaulay Culkin). I did something I hardly ever do. Nothing. I sat on the couch and petted my cat.  It is here where I learned why I love working on my next project. This might be reading or listening to a book, thinking of the next product I want to create, etc.  When I'm not thinking about things coming in the future, I think about the past.  I don't like to think about the past.  I sat there and reality let me know that my Dad was really gone. The cards I had been dealt, were gone. Game over.  I had a good old fashioned cry.  It felt good in the end. My cat was very confused. Looking Forward I prefer to look forward, and see a picture of an improved life. One where I help people. One where I leave the planet a better place.  I often fall asleep at my desk. I then get up, and go home. I bop till I drop in the immortal words of Rick Springsfield.  I'm OK with that.  Relaxation is over rated in my book. It

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