Love Life With Matthew Hussey

  We all understand by now what “Late-Night Booty Call Guy” wants from you. But today we’re looking at a species with a different, much more confusing motive: “Man Who Just Wants to Cuddle.” What is really going on here? Does he want a girlfriend, or just a warm body to keep him company? I take a call from a brave woman named Nicky who admits she’s in this baffling situation with a man she really likes, and I give her advice on how to confront him and find out what he’s really after. Because if he literally wants to “Netflix and Chill,” that’s wasting her time when she could be out there finding someone who wants to cuddle… but only after the kind of intimacy that happens in a real relationship.

In today’s episode I take a question from a listener named Ashley, who believes that she’s doing all the right things to meet men, but can’t seem to understand why guys aren’t approaching her or asking her out. The bad news? She actually does need to make more of an effort than she realizes. The amazing news? She is actually only one millimeter off from meeting more men than she could possibly know what to do with! It only takes a tiny adjustment in what she’s (and probably you’re) doing right now. I explain exactly how to make this shift and even give you the cutest phrase you can use on a guy you like – stolen right from my own real-life story!

As a business owner who oversees a large team, I’m always striving to improve my skills as a manager. But, let’s face it: even when I’m in “boss mode,” I never really take my “relationship coach” hat off. So, the other day, when I was utilizing a management technique designed to give constructive criticism to staff while still inspiring them to do their best, it occurred to me – this technique would work wonders with a romantic partner, too! In today’s episode of LOVE Life, I’m going to share this simple, two-step technique that will help you communicate better with your man when you want to let him know you’re unhappy with his behavior– and get better results, every time.

I’m never too proud to use a personal anecdote to illustrate my point, even when the experience was a near-disaster. So, if for no other reason than you’re curious to hear the story of my failed TV show and the moment that a nasty contestant tried to tear my credibility to shreds in front of a live studio audience, you should check out this episode. But you should stay for my advice, because I’m going to use my own example to show you how to step into your personal power and control any tense situation without taking on anyone else’s negative energy. It’s my ultimate secret to having impact, and I’m sharing it with you today.  

Our caller, Halima, is worried. She’s got a huge crush on a guy at work. And while that situation brings all of its usual complications – what if she makes her feelings known and gets rejected…and then it’s awkward in the lunchroom? What if they end up dating but it doesn’t work out, and then he’s ‘the guy at work that dumped her?’ – she’s got an even bigger concern: She wants a relationship but is concerned he’s just after a ‘hook up.’ In today’s LOVE Life, I break down the situation, help her figure out how to read his signals, and decide whether it’s worth her putting in the “work” to make it happen (pun intended) ;).

Confession: I don’t really care much for Valentine’s Day. But it is upon us, and the sappy engagement ring television commercials and greeting card stores won’t let us forget it. So no matter how you feel about the holiday – romantic and hopeful, jaded and cynical or, like me, just plain indifferent – let’s take this opportunity to learn three simple things that will instantly improve your love life today. Oh, and we might as well eat some chocolate while we’re at it.   

  I made a colossal mistake the other day on national television. Want to hear the embarrassing story? I’ll tell you in this episode. Not just because I’ve gotten good at laughing at myself for moments like this (though I have – and that’s one of the lessons here), but because it will teach you 3 crucial things to spare you from hurt next time you make a mistake. (Which you will. Because you’re human.) And how do you deal when other people think you’re a screw-up? I give you one amazing piece of advice on how to prove them wrong. 

There are few things in life that hurt worse than loving someone who doesn’t love you back. It can make you question your own value: If someone I hold in such high esteem doesn’t think I’m worthy of a relationship with him, then something must really be wrong with me. In today’s LOVE Life, I’ll help you understand why this isn’t true, and we’ll take a look at some of the real reasons why it didn’t work out. I’ll also give you my best advice on what to do while your heart is healing and how to know for sure when the right person for you comes along.

Contrary to popular belief, arguments themselves aren’t what damage relationships; it’s the amount of time that we take to recover after an argument. But no matter how compatible you are with your partner, disagreements are inevitable. So today, I’m going to teach you my secret weapon to end an argument as quickly as possible using six powerful words. When you say these, you’ll immediately switch from being adversaries to teammates and get right into solving the problem…so you can shift your focus from fighting to the fun part: making up.

You broke up with him…and broke his heart. But time has passed, and now he wants to try to be friends. You miss hanging out and having a laugh with him, so what’s the harm? After all, you’re totally over those romantic feelings. The problem is, he isn’t. Is this “friendship” a good idea? What if he has ulterior motives to try to get back together? That’s what our caller, Tyrie, wants to know in today’s episode of LOVE Life. Whether you’ve been on one side of this relationship or the other, I know you’ll relate to the “friends with an ex” dilemma too, so be sure to listen in for my advice on how to handle this situation with honesty and compassion so no one reopens the wounds of the past.

  We all do it: Make To-Do lists a mile long and then tell ourselves we’ve had a productive day if we’ve checked off a bunch of “stuff” before our head hits the pillow. But is that really the measure of a significant life? In today’s episode I argue that working hard doesn’t necessarily equal growing, and accomplishing tasks doesn’t necessarily equal real accomplishment. I offer a different way to look at your “to-dos” and suggest a series of questions you can ask yourself to ensure you’re getting the balance and sustainable success that brings true meaning to your day – and your life.   

Stop everything and listen to this episode right now. In it, I’m going to give you a quick tip that will get you immediate results with that nagging “to-do” you’ve been putting off forever. (You know which one I’m talking about.) Overwhelm has stood in your way of accomplishing something important for way too long, and today we’re going to “break the seal” and just start the damn thing. OK? OK! Hit “play” and let’s go…

So you’ve got strong feelings for a guy… He’s funny, he’s handsome, he’s kind, but there’s just one tiny problem: he just so happens to be your good friend’s ex-boyfriend. What do you do? Is it possible to date him and NOT screw up your friendship forever? In today’s episode, we look at the two issues at the core of this tricky dilemma, and I give you the only solution that could possibly make the situation work. I even hand you a script you can use to talk it out with your BFF that might just get her on board with the idea so you can actually have it both ways. (You’re welcome.)

Should you be ashamed of The Booty Call? If you’re just having fun, and you’re really ok with a casual fling, then I say, go for it. The problem is, there’s often more going on behind this so-called “arrangement” – feelings, expectations, unexpressed hopes…and emotional issues that run very deep. Who’s to blame when the balance of power goes awry? And what should you do if you decide you want more? We unravel this sticky entanglement in today’s LOVE Life, and I help you decide if your Booty Call really makes you happy, or if you should hang up on him for good.

As someone who gives love advice for a living, I’ve heard it all. Or so I thought… until I got this insane email question from a listener. Now let me clarify that the question is gross not in a raunchy way (although there is a sexual component to it; nothing too scandalous)… but because of the self-centered, transactional nature of the relationship it depicts. At this point you’ll probably tune in because I’ve piqued your curiosity, but I encourage you to listen because there’s a lesson we can all learn here about – if nothing else – what NOT to do in a healthy relationship.

Ok, here’s the formula to calculate the time it should take to get over your breakup: Grab a pen. I’ll wait…OK, now add the number of months you were together, and divide it by the number of fights you had about getting married and then… Come on, you know as well as I do that there’s no magic number when it comes to grieving the loss of your ex. But there IS a secret to lessening the pain and moving on to an exciting new beginning. In today’s episode, I tell you how.

“Be yourself.” To most people, this means, “you’re perfect, just as you are.” (Or, at worst, it’s considered a harmless cliché.)  But I believe this is awful advice, and in today’s LOVE Life I’m going to tell you why.  By the end of my rant – ahem, by the end of this episode – you’ll discover the mindset that will actually allow you to stretch beyond the “you” you always have been, and to grow, achieve, and become the absolute best version of “yourself.”

“There’s so much PASSION with this new guy I’m dating! We can’t keep our hands off of each other!” “I just want a job I can feel PASSIONATE about…” People throw around the “P” word every day, and it certainly sounds like something to strive for. After all, you should feel strongly about the important things in life, right? Well, in this episode of LOVE Life, I share my opinion on the topic of passion. It’s slightly controversial, but I think you’ll agree with me when you understand my reasoning behind it. So let everyone else chase the “sugar rush” of passion. Meanwhile, you can pursue something worthwhile that actually lasts.

Ok, you’ve got a million things to do today, and you’re not going to rest until you get it all done. So you work and you grind and you keep checking off your list until…you just hit a wall. You’re out of energy, you’re out of motivation, your list is still a mile long and – wait – what? It’s only 11am? We’ve all had days like this, and when they happen, we either a) just give up or b) try to “push on through” to get it all done, at which point we… just give up. Well today’s message is a must-listen, because I’ve got a totally counter-intuitive mind hack that’s going to help you squeeze much more productivity out of a less-than-motivated day. You’ll be shocked to learn what it is. Hint: You may even get to knock off with a cocktail at 4pm.

“Can you make it to my birthday tonight,” asks your friend who’s planned an annoyingly hipster “drinks thing” in a totally inconvenient neighborhood, starting at 11pm on a rainy Friday night when you’re exhausted and all you want to do is go home and binge on Netflix in your PJs. Do you say “yes” to spare her feelings…and bail later? Or be honest up front and risk disappointing her? What about when your boss asks if you can complete that big project by Monday? Do you agree even though you doubt you’ll have the time or the resources to follow through? In today’s episode of LOVE Life, we’re talking about why your word is the most important thing you have, and why the people who count on you will respect you more when you say the difficult thing first rather than let them down later.