Who Am I Really?

One of the important things to do when sharing adoptee stories is try to empathize with our birth mothers. This is a special presentation of the "Who Am I Really?" podcast for "Birth Mother's Day". Working with Ed DiGangi (ep. 130) we highlight the stories of three birth mothers, Yvonne, Sarah, and Laura who share their personal stories of being stigmatized, coerced, and misinformed about their child's adoption. They share their struggles carrying the memory of the children they placed, the process of mental and physical recovery from giving birth, and the secrecy some held for years about what they had endured as young women. Birth Mother's Day is observed on the Saturday before Mother's Day in order to honor birth mothers' experiences. D. Yvonne Rivers - Host of Birth Moms Real Talk podcastLaura Engel - Author of You'll Forget This Ever HappenedSarah Maury Swan - Writer and multiple book authorEd DiGangi, Adoptee - Author of The Gift Best GivenWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon

When a child is in need of support to help navigate the traumatic experiences in their lives. Renowned psychiatrist, neuroscientist, and leading authority on childhood trauma Dr. Bruce D. Perry is the man to call. Dr. Perry has researched childhood trauma and its impact on brain development and behavior throughout his decades, long distinguished career. Perry's dedication to understanding and addressing the effects of trauma on individuals, families, and communities has played a pivotal role In advancing our understanding of trauma informed care and resilience, building strategies. Dr. Perry is the co-author of the New York Times #1 best seller. "What Happened To You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing," co-authored with none other than Oprah Winfrey. You're about to hear Dr. Perry delve into the transformative power of understanding trauma, our ability to reprogram our brains, and a wonderful explanation of a theory a lot of adoptees have relied on for healing. It is my pleasure to present to

Doris, who lives between Sacramento and Lake Tahoe, California, was adopted after her adoptive mother's repetitive attempts at pregnancy. Doris then had to endure herself centeredness -- a residual trauma of her failed pregnancies -- and her narcissism, which prevented her from being the mother Doris needed. In reunion, Doris was welcomed by some of her extended family, but chose to try to meet her birth mother face to face, to hopefully avoid being rejected. You will be stunned by the outcome of Doris's trip to her birth mother's home and empowered by how she focuses on the positivity of her experience. This is Doris his journey. ReckoningWithThePrimalWoundWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Monica, from outside of Sacramento, California, shares her double story as an adoptee and a birth mother. When Monica was a kid getting dumped by her adoptive mother sent her down a path of bad-girl attention seeking that, put her in dangerous situations. In reunion she discovered her heritage is tied to native people of North America and that her instinct to search was well-timed because her passionate drive was matched by someone else very important to Monica who was looking for her too. As an adoptee, Monica holds a unique perspective that helped her prepare for one of the most pivotal moments in her life. Trigger warning: Around 20 minutes into the episode Monica discusses a violent act inflicted against her. This is Monica's journey.MonicaHall.comWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Angela, from Seattle Washington, grew up in a home full of adoptees whose adoptions were prioritized because of perceived medical needs, including her own. Angela pursued reunion, expecting she would search for and find her birth mother and they would look just the like,Instead, Angela first found a man who was loved by his community and when she appeared there in his town where she was born, everyone knew exactly who she was because of her close. paternal resemblance.Angela's maternal reunion started with a jarring introduction that initiated with what she thought would be a reunion rejection, but eventually evolved into a maternal connection. Angela is the author of "You Should Be Grateful: Stories of race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption".AngelaTucker.comThis is Angela's journey.Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? WebsiteShare Your StoryDamon's storyFind the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Jane, from outside of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, grew up knowing she was adopted, omfortable with the fact, and even knowing her birth name from a young age. After her adoptive parents passed away, Jane obtained as much identifying information as possible and submitted two DNA tests. The amalgamation of resources all provided supporting clues to her maternal and paternal sides.In reunion, Jane found a man who didn't even know she existed, but wanted to get as much information about what transpired behind his back when he was a teenager as possible. Listen at the end for the touching moment where Jane took her birth father to a special place. This is Jane's journey.Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Brad, from McKinney, Texas, just outside of Dallas grew up thinking something was off in his family. But Brad internalized his differences from his parents as his own inability to adapt to their personality traits and abilities. As an adult DNA testing revealed that something far more foundational to his being was the reason for their differences. The revelation set off a series of forced confrontations, unexpected sibling introductions, and being face to face with an incarcerated man Brad had no intention of bonding with... until he did. Make sure you to listen until the end to hear how Brad's paternal reunion played out. It is heartwarming for sure. This is Brad's journey. Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbeanI7u5q8UrFim2sniNJlaA

Chris lives in Northern California outside of San Francisco. He shares how he selflessly discovered his adopted brother’s birth mother just in time for them to meet. Chris said he was thankful that at least one of the two brothers had completed their search. When Chris told his parents he launched his own search it created animosity between them that they’ve worked hard to get over. After finding a birth mother match through DNA testing, Chris has connected with a loving family that has wondered about him for years. This is Chris’s journey.Recorded on my son, Seth's, 12th birthday, January 16, 2020!

Michelle, from North Hollywood, California, is an Asian American, but her specific heritage is unclear, and she doesn’t think she’ll ever fully know where she comes from. There’s no information about her in the year before her adoption, only a note that says "This baby was found..." Michele describes her feelings about being adopted by Asian parents, her lack of a specific birth date, and her creative outlets that keep her going instead of searching. This is Michelle’s journey.

Ginger who lives in Los Angeles, began her reunion journey as a teenager who found her birth mother, saw her picture, emailed her, but never made the leap to meeting the woman. In adulthood Ginger had given birth to twins who emotionally impacted her and reminded her of the story of her own birth shared by her birth mother via email many years before, so she resurrected their relationship. This episode is unique because we captured Ginger’s story in the lead up to her cross country reunion, then we followed up shortly after to see how things were in the aftermath of hours spent face to face with her birth mother. This is Ginger’s journey. Ginger (00:05):And I sent it to her and she wrote back and said, you have no idea what you have done for me. You have just uncapped 34 years of guilt and shame and made me feel so much better. And she asked me, would you be willing to, to meet and I said, Oh yeah, I definitely would.Damon (00:31):Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am

David from Columbus, Ohio said he was practically at the front door of reunion, but drove away. Years later he finally found some siblings who looked almost exactly like him, and others who’s genetic connection was undeniable. David admitted he’s not an emotional guy, but the rollercoaster of his adopted mother sparking his curiosity, his fear of what he might face on a search, inaction when he had the chance, and the combinations of acceptance and rejection were a lot to bear over the years. This is David’s journey. David (00:08):And like I said, by nature, I'm not a very emotional person. I don't wear my emotions, on my sleeve but man, this was probably the most emotional thing. And I've buried three parents. And by far, this is the most emotional thing I've ever done in my life.Damon (00:32):Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm

Dr. Julie Lopez lives and works in Washington, D.C. Julie’s early childhood was happy at home, but it was her circle of friends that made her question just what was wrong with being adopted? When she graduated college, her need for information, for professional reasons, made her stumble across an old document she’d seen before, which impulsively steered her down the path toward reunion. Along hat road she found trauma that she was already prepared to handle and disappointment that she’s also thankful for because the whole experience keeps her grounded.Dr. Lopez runs the Viva Center – https://www.vivapartnership.com/You can find her book: “Live Empowered: Rewire Your Brain’s Implicit Memory To Thrive In Business, Love, and Life“The post 098 – Trained In Trauma appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.Julie (00:05):Okay. I think behind every adoption there's usually trauma and then there is the just families don't give up children without some kind of distress and circumstance. You know, it goes a

Linda’s childhood was tumultuous after her mother’s death as she was raised in what she thought was her grandmother’s home. When she learned the truth about her life from the neighbor’s kids, at age 10, Linda immediately wanted to find her birther father. She endured years of abuse in her grandmother’s home with no love. She characterizes her story, not as an adoption, she thinks of herself as stolen from her biological father.You can find Linda’s book at LindaBlackmer.com or you can search “My Father’s Eyes: A Story of Stolen Lives” on AmazonRead Full TranscriptLinda:                          00:03               Grandma’s drivin. Then we’re driving down the road and she begins calling me names and then she gets quiet and she goes, you know, Linda, you’re right. Y

Christie was a shy child who wanted to participate in activities but held herself back from engaging. It wasn’t until she was an adult when her adopted brother unexpectedly suggested that Christie might want to search that their mother shared her adoption information. When she found her birth father, he openly acknowledged their relation and explained he and her birth mother would have been very young parents with no parents of their own. He introduced Christie to her birth mother, and the women took it slow getting to know and trust one another. The biggest reunion surprise for Christie was realizing she wasn’t as well-adjusted about adoption as she thought. Her reunions uncovered buried emotions that have plagued her since childhood, but she’s putting in the work to heal herself.The blog post Christie references is: https://adultadopteesupport.blogspot.com/2014/01/am-i-blood-or-am-i-water.htmlRead Full TranscriptChristine:          &

In collaboration with my friends, Louise Brown and Sarah Reinhardt I'm bringing you a conversation we had a while back when I appeared on their show "Adoption, The Making of Me. Sarah and Louise are both adoptees with unique stories of their own. These two friends and former business partners Launched adoption, the making of me to open up more frank, honest conversations about adoption with a unique twist. In each episode of their podcast, they recap a chapter of a book that focuses on adoption. Today, I'm sharing with you my story from season one, episode 10 of ATMOM. Adoption: The Making of MeWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Deanna, from outside of Tampa, Florida, could see in her youth that she didn't look like her adoptive family. In elementary school she discovered her name change documents under her parents bed which added to her desire to search for her birth family. When Deanna found her birth mother, she cried repeatedly listening to the woman's voice and when her husband found her she told him, 'We have to go to her now'. Unfortunately, her birth mother kept her vow of taking Deanna's birth father's name to the grave. But Deanna had her personal search network, her own patience and drive and God to thank for finding Mr. Greek. This is Deanna's journey.Florence Fisher, Advocate for Opening Adoption Records, Dies at 95Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Nina, from Minnetrista, Minnesota felt nothing but love in her adoptive family so much so that she wore her adoption as a badge of honor. Early in Nina's life, her adoptive father shared identifying information about her and, coupled with the birth of her children, Nina could no longer push down her desire to search. Nina's search did not turn out the way that she had hoped at all, But she she tries to move forward from a place of empathy for everyone involved in her origin story.  This is Nina's journey.  Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Margaret Jane lives right in the middle of rural Michigan, outside of Carson city. When Margaret Jane asked her mother if she was adopted it was an emotional revelation both for her adoptive parents and for MJ who learned her community already knew she was adopted. Incredibly, since her earliest days, MJ has been connected to her husband, her in-laws, and unbelievably her birth mother too -- but she didn't even know it. MJ shares her challenges with everyone knowing that she was adopted when she did not juxtaposed against the truly positive experience of everyone coming together in loving, accepting ways to reform their unique family. This is Margaret Jane's journey. Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

John, from Bowling Green, Kentucky grew up in Houston, Texas questioning why he looked different from his parents. When he asked about himself as a baby, his parents broke down. His adoption from Chile happened during a tumultuous time when their government supported the adoption of its own children, but the source of John separation from his family was much closer to home. In reunion John made the long journey to be face-to-face with his biological parents, see his homeland and reconnect with his birth family with what he believes is support from his adoptive parents from above. This is John's journey.Chile's Stolen ChildrenWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Bethany, from Gaithersburg, Maryland could see differences in herself and her white family, but her parents explained to those differences away and she believed what she was told.Unexpectedly, Bethany's birth mother found her, but the woman was not prepared to discuss her past nor reveal the truth about Bethany's true heredity. Fortunately DNA testing revealed the one thing that everyone close to Bethany was trying to hide, unlocked the relationship with her birth father, uncovered the truth about chapter one of her life. This is Bethany's journey. Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean