Textual Healing

We finish the conversation between two bodybuilders and figure out where it all went wrong. Then, we try to pick up the pieces by giving him some future advice as well as a way to fix this current relationship. Also, we make fun of Captain Planet.

We read a failed OkCupid conversation between two gym rats where our man convinces a potential lover to give him her number by tempting her with a picture of him doing leg lifts at the gym. A "snatch" made in heaven?

In this episode, Ian and Anthony get bored to death by this job interview of a Tinder conversation. On the positive side, it gives god-like Anthony an opportunity to drop a really powerful flirting secret for you.

In this bonus Thursday episode, see what happens when Anthony signs into a Bumble account and impersonates his client, successfully getting him on a date with a great gal. He shows you what to do when a woman stops responding, and what happens when you may have "crossed the line" with a joke.

Ian and Anthony analyze the seemingly disinterested text conversation by two bodybuilders. After delivering an amazing piece of widely neglected, though universal dating advice, Anthony goes into the best "Deliverance" impression you've ever heard. Then Ian and Anthony bring it in for some amazing text responses for today's submission.

Have you ever had it "in the bag" with a woman yet had to just shoot yourself in the foot anyway? In this episode, Ian donates his own online dating text conversation to show the world that even he is mortal when it comes to text flirting.

Ian comes up with a "Hail Mary" Tinder response that is sure to salvage a failing text conversation. Anthony confuses Star Wars and Christianity.

In this episode, Ian and Anthony reach new levels of absurdity. Ian pens a hail-mary Bumble response that might just set off some Disney nostalgia, and Anthony returns to his mind palace with added thought narration by Ian.

Ian was gracious enough to donate his own failed Tinder conversation to the show.

Ian does an outstanding job of accurately portraying a bored woman who is getting texts from a male suitor. Anthony drops a bomb of advice at the end.

This week, Ian teases Anthony so hard that he begins to wonder if he really is actually a good person. Anthony takes a turn at "slamming" the texts while Ian provides insightful advice.

Ian and Anthony figure out that Matthew McConaughey is the perfect excuse for being lazy, and Ian raps one of the most graphic and sexual songs on the planet.

In this first episode, Anthony and Ian help out two very desperate guys with two very desperate ploys. One involves an MRI machine and the other involves spiritual healing.