Baconsale: Hickory-smoked Pop Culture

The holidays are a busy time, with multiple events vying for our attention. Unfortunately Kent & Joel have both planned their separate Christmas parties for the same evening in the same cul-de-sac. So Zack now needs to decide which party he’s going to attend. But how will he choose? Well, that depends on the guest lists. Kent and Joel are going to take turns inviting characters from popular Christmas movies, such as Buddy the Elf, Ebenezer Scrooge, Frosty the Snowman, The Grinch, Kevin McCallister, and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Some of the guests will help our chances of luring Zack in, some will hurt them, and one option will be left out in the cold.   Press play to hear some questionable Jimmy Stewart impersonations. And watch out for animal droppings!

Six years later.   A lot has changed since the last time Baconsale discussed documentaries. For instance, true stories are now more widely watched—especially the ones about murder, for some reason. The problem now, though, is that there are so many documentary and docuseries options out there that it’s difficult to know which ones are worth your time. That’s were Joel, Kent, and Zack come in. They’ve each brought five factual films to the table. Some are long, some are short, some will lift you up, some may pull you down, but we feel all of them are worth sharing with you, the listener, and we’ll do our best to stick to medium spoilers, at most.   Press play to count how many Taylor Swift references we can make in one episode.

Ranking pies will be a piece of cake. At least, that’s what we thought when we began this episode of Baconsale. However, as Joel, Kent, and Zack start to dig into this delicious dessert topic, they quickly realize they have some very different oPIEnions. After briefly discussing the history of these sweet treats, we’re going to tier popular pastries such as pumpkin, cherry, apple, key lime, pecan, mixed berry, and banana cream. Join us as we serve up some controversial takes and discover our pie preferences could, in fact, be a reflection of our personality types.   Press play to be à la mode.

It’s time to get your adrenaline pumping, because on this episode of Baconsale we’re discussing some of the greatest action scenes of all time. Our friend Shannon is joining Joel, Kent, and Zack to pick answers for such categories as Best Large-Scale Battle Scene, Favorite Car Chase, Most Outrageously Fun Scene, Best Line or Dialogue, Most Disappointing, and Favorite Overall. Along the way, we’re going to match a few of each other’s choices and we’re going to have a hard time pronouncing Cary Elwes (was he the king of Gondor?), but we’ll do our best do paint each scene for you and not give honorable mentions.   Press play to join us in space, listener. SPACE!

It’s been a hot minute since we’ve done a BaconBit, but it’s also been a few years since Captain Marvel was in theaters. Both Joel & Kent went into The Marvels with some pre-conceived notions about the current state of the MCU, and during this review we’ll see if Carol Danvers, Monica Rambeau, and Kamala Khan can change their minds. Don’t worry, we’ll isolate the spoilers in another dimension during the first part of this review. And we’ll use our powers to alert you before we swap places into spoiler territory.   There’s no need to watch WandaVision, Ms. Marvel, or Secret Invasion to understand this BaconBit, just press play.

After being let go from their previous job at Arkham Asylum, Joel, Kent, and Zack have been hired as security guards on the Raft, a prison made for super-powered criminals in the Marvel universe. So on this episode of Baconsale, we’re going to be deciding if some of Spider-Man’s most villainous enemies belong in maximum-, medium-, or minimum-security cells when they arrive webbed-up and unconscious on our doorstep. We’ve also been assigned to different floors, so the vibe is definitely different depending on who is guarding them. Listen as we make cringe-worthy puns about the Green Goblin, debate about the strength of Doctor Octopus & mason jars, and try to keep Kent from falling in love with Black Cat (or Venom).   Press play to prepare for Pizza Friday!

Hello, Sidney/Clarice/listener! Baconsale asked you, our number one fans, to submit the best horror, thriller, and suspense films. Then, after waiting until dark and playing a few rounds of hide & clap, we put those movies on a bracket. And while it won’t take us seven days to finish this tournament, we’re gonna need a bigger boat, because our discussions go a little long. After all, some of our favorite picks will have to get out—they can’t all float to the top. At times, Joel’s, Kent’s, and Zack’s emotions will come bursting out of their chest, and we may make some decisions that will make you giggle and say, “are you mad?” But we all go a little mad sometimes, don’t we? Especially when it’s all work and no play and we start seeing dead people.   Stand in the corner and press play to experience some paranormal activity.   And if you want the official Thriller of Thrillers bracket, download the thing at Baconsale.com.

When three podcast archeologists stumble upon the tomb of Ba-Con-Sale during an expedition, they unknowingly unleash a horrible curse. The curse… of having to watch some really dry movies. Because on this episode, we’re discussing mummies. Joel, Kent, and Zack have excavated some historical accounts & various mummy facts, and they’re ready to put them on display for all to hear. And we’re not just talking about Egyptian pharaohs & ancient tombs, we’ll also be sharing tales of European bog bodies, Japanese monk pits, and accidental zombies from the Americas. Then we’ll wrap things up by giving our approval (or disapproval) of a sarcophagus-full of mummy films. WARNING: Some of the mummification descriptions may be a little grotesque, so we don’t recommend eating while listening.   It doesn’t matter if you’re Team Imhotep or Team Kharis, press play!

It’s time for Baconsale to share some more Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark! Can we get a bizee, bizee, BUZ-OOOOOO-O-O-O? Zack didn’t grow up reading these creepy children’s books by Alvin Schwartz, so Kent & Joel are ready to educate and alarm him. On this episode, we’ll be reading such terrifying tales such as “Maybe You Will Remember,” “The Viper,” “The Appointment,” “The Girl Who Stood on a Grave,” “The Wendigo,” “The Cat’s Paw,” and “Sam’s New Pet.” We’ll also be sharing a couple short stories we enjoy from other horror anthologies. As we do, we’ll try our best to be serious and keep the mood spooky, despite our attempts at doing different voices & accents.   Press play to let Stephen Gammell’s disturbing drawings haunt your nightmares once again.

We were working the lab, late one night, and agreed to bring this idea to light: what if we played the classic schoolchildren’s game M.A.S.H., but with a Halloween twist? So on this episode of Baconsale, Joel, Kent & Zack are each going to create a horror movie right before your ears, completely based on the horrifying power of chance. A random number generator will pick our genre, director, rating, actors, monster, and more. Fate will even choose whether we live or die. And after we check our vibes and Zack earns some film cred, we’ll leave it up to you to decide which one of our films is best. But remember to beware the i-n-g!   Put on your Denny’s goggles and double-tap that play button.

What are you going to be on Halloween night? A witch, or a goblin, or a ghost? Well, on this episode of Baconsale, we’re kicking off the spooky season by taking a look at the various costumes we’ve worn in Octobers past. Joel, Kent, and Zack will be rummaging through their guising closets to pick answers for such categories as First One You Remember Wearing, Best Pop Culture Character, Most Embarrassing, Scariest, Easiest to Put Together, Most Elaborate, and Personal Favorite. And as we go door-to-door in our memories (and Zack stalks Kent on Facebook), we hope you’re playing along at home and possibly even getting some ideas for a future Halloween costume.   Press play to put on those leotards for the ‘Gram.

Why should films get to have all the fun? We’re modifying a classic Baconsale game to focus on songs, albums, and bands. In each musical match-up, Joel, Kent, and Zack are going to decide which of these choices will be experienced during one amazing concert, which one will be saved on our iPods (remember those?), and which one will be erased from existence. Some decisions are quite easy, others bring back junior high school dance memories, and some lead to discussions about murder. We hope you enjoy playing along as we give this new twist on an old show a shot.   Press play to be left of the dealer.

Buongiorno, listener! Our mama always said, Baconsale is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get. And that’s certainly the case on this episode, where we let you call it and submit the most dramatic films ever, which we’ve now put on a bracket to fight for their freeeeeedom! However, hope can be a dangerous thing, and not every pick is going to be king of the world. Some of you might even say, “you broke my heart” when your pick doesn’t make it past a round. But frankly, my dear listener, these are all well-made & emotional movies, and power is when we have every justification to kill one of them, and we don't. Sometimes we’re rushing through our discussions, sometimes we’re dragging, but no matter what happens, we’ll still be your huckleberry and we’ll always have Paris.   How do you like them apples? Well, press play and earn this, even if you can’t handle the truth.   And be sure to seize the day by downloading the official Drama of Dramas bracket at Baconsale.com.

Let’s face it, listener, some condiments just don’t cut the mustard. Therefore, it’s time for Baconsale to relish in our opportunity to tier 24 popular table sauces. First, Joel, Kent & Zack are going to try to come to a consensus of what a condiment is, and then we’re going to say what we think about salsa, rank ranch dressing, debate about Dijon, and more. We’re going to throw a lot of hot (sauce) takes your way on this episode, but we’re sure you’ll ketchup.   Wipe your fingies clean and press play to learn why butter deserves justice.

With the WGA and the SAG-AFTRA both on strike, it’s uncertain if any movies will actually be coming out this fall or winter. Nevertheless, Baconsale must press on. Joel, Kent, and Zack are ready to let you know what might be hitting theaters and coming to streaming soon as we approach the end of 2023. Listen as we discuss long-awaited sequels, much-lamented prequels, and the death rattles of dying universes. We also give way too much attention to some of the joke answers and had to add in some editor’s notes for the films that already had their release dates pushed back after we recorded this episode.   Press play to hear why this was a good directing year for Kent.

Oi there, listener! On this episode of Baconsale, we’ve decided to continue the course of Commonwealth pop culture by discussing jolly old England. This, of course, means Joel, Kent & Zack will be doing some truly awful accents and making some fairly harsh judgements. As we venture forth with a stiff upper lip, we’ll be conquering such categories as Best Chocolate/Candy, Craziest Monarch Story, Favorite Fictional English Character, Most Influential Television Series, Who Should Get Knighthood, and things we feel are Royally Overrated. We hope you enjoy this very American take on a small portion of Great Britain.   Pip pip! Cheerio! And all that rot. Now press play to discover Zack’s love for British bears, guvnor!

Things aren’t looking good for the Marvel Cinematic Universe right now. Phase Four wasn’t very well received and Phase Five isn’t off to a great start. Therefore, Kevin himself gave Baconsale a call asked us to help save the MCU. Joel, Kent, and Zack are each going to create a screenplay for a blockbuster hit, using the tried-and-true method of M.A.S.H. And as we’re given our randomly chosen superheroes, villains, mentors, fighters, and comic relief characters, we’re going to do our best to weave together a story that will succeed at the box office. But watch out! Shape-shifting Skrulls are lurking in every round, making some of our picks less effective.   Press play to release the Dunn Cut.

The last time Baconsale did a video game category show, back in 2015, we primarily focused on the pre-PlayStation era. However, we’re picking up our controllers once again to chat about modern gaming. Our guest, Brian, is joining Joel, Kent, and Zack to finally give some love to Xbox, and to pick answers for such console-driven categories such as Best Game with the Worst Graphics, Favorite First-Person Shooter, Game that Made the Console Worth Owning, and World We Wouldn’t Want to Live In. Along the way, we’ll get a little emotional, repeatedly explain what DLC means, and reveal to Kent that we’re all figments of his imagination.   Press play to relive the horror of PS1 Hagrid’s face.

Which celebrities comes to mind when we say Jennifer, Chris, Kate, John, Jessica, Ryan, and Tom? The truth is, it can be confusing when famous actors have the same names. Therefore, Baconsale is appointing one celebrity as the winner who gets to keep their notable name and giving a new one to the rest. Zack may be absent on this episode, but Jessica & Jillian have joined Joel and Kent to take on this task together. These sisters may sound sweet, but watch out, they know how dispose of a body. Listen as Joel admits his admiration for alliteration, Kent exposes his nameist tendencies, Jessica & Jillian share the same brain, and we all express some distrust in middle-namers.   Press play, but try not to be too persuaded by Joel’s power.

Who says the Fearamid can only be used during the Halloween season? On this episode of Baconsale, we’re taking a look at the worst examples of computer-generated imagery in movies & film and pitting them against one another to see which one ends up on the top of the bottom. Confused yet? So are we, at times. Nevertheless, Joel, Kent, and Zack will be mocking CGI monsters, laughing at animated animals, critiquing messy action scenes, leveling sloppy superheroes, judging ugly babies, gasping at freaky faces, and questioning de-aging as we boldly enter the uncanny valley.   Press play to see how our mouths just don’t move quite right.