Baconsale: Hickory-smoked Pop Culture

Baconsale is kicking off our seventh season by talking about our top five & bottom five films from last year. Joel is a little drunk with power because his method of picking movies is quite suitable for this situation, whereas Kent was actually able to scrap together a list of favorites from the dearth of movies released in 2020—even if he had to grade on a curve. Along the way, Zack attempts a FOUL pun, Hans Zimmer gets called out as a hack, and we try our darndest not to give anything away about our top picks (but we don’t mind spoiling the worst ones). Press play to initiate the temporal pincer.

On this, our sixth season finale, Baconsale is looking back at our shows from this past year and talking about some of our favorite moments, both on the air and behind the scenes. Our schedule was destroyed by the pandemic (which Zack may have caused), but we still managed to create some memorable episodes, including when Kent promoted Helga Sinclair, Joel offended the cult of stuffing, we impersonated southern ants (who HATE grits), we safely invited guests into the Baconcave, we created the Parents Guide Game (which swept the nation!), and we sang….a LOT. Plus, we even dare to bring up the terrifying Scream Queen. 2020 has been a trying time for all of us, but we hope that the weekly episodes have helped lift your spirits in some way—they certainly lifted ours. Press play to hear our sincere thanks to our listener and to our patrons for helping us get through season six of Baconsale!

You’d better watch out, you’d better not cry, you’d better not pout, I’m telling you why… because some of these creepy Christmas creatures will beat you, kill you, or eat you. On this episode of Baconsale, we’re sharing unusual holiday folklore from around the world, but primarily from Germany, Iceland, Austria, and France (because Europe is weird). It’s dangerous to go alone on this perilous path, so we’ve invited Chris Draudt, a Krampus expert/enthusiast to join us. Listen as we butcher the names of Knecht Ruprecht, Père Fouettard, Mari Lwyd, Kallikantzaros and other companions of Saint Nicholas. But beware, some of these traditional yuletide tales can get pretty grim. Grab a bundle of birch branches, pull that potato out of your shoe, and press play!

It’s beginning to look a lot like Baconsale is going to do another Christmas song category show! It’s been five years since our last holiday music episode, but Joel is more than happy to do another one. Kent, on the other hand, is a bit of a Scrooge when it comes to yuletide tunes. Nevertheless, we’ve come up with twelve categories—including Best Duet/Collaboration, the One You Can’t Resist Singing, Most Underrated, and Worst Acapella Cover—and Kent, Joel & Zack are going to each pick a winner for each one. Come on, it’s lovely weather for a podcast together with you! Press play!

You may have heard us play Cable, IMAX, Erase on Baconsale before, but never like this. Yes, for the first few rounds we’re going to take three movies and decide which one we’d watch in theaters, which one we’d watch on standard-definition television, and which one we’d erase from existence. However, then we’re going to change things up and adapt the game to food, bands, candy, actors & actresses, restaurants, and more! Joel tries his best to be the villain, but Kent steals the crown back pretty quickly. And watch out for when Zack attacks! Press play to hear us hem & haw about decisions that don’t really have any consequences.

Imagine that it’s Thanksgiving. You’re at the serving table. Which foods get the prime real estate on your dinner plate? That’s the question we’re asking today on Baconsale. Kent, Joel, and Zack are going to tier turkey, rank rolls, score stuffing, grade gravy, criticize cranberry sauce, and put pie in its place with the help of our special guest, Jennifer Kielkowski. We’ll also discuss the history of Turkey Day, share family traditions, and give a few fun facts with the leftover time. Please pass the potatoes and press play.

Back in 2016, we ranked popular pizza chains, but on this episode we’re bringing it home and popping it in the oven because Baconsale is ranking frozen pizzas. We’ve tested & ranked 25 popular pizza brands and scientifically identified the top five best and the bottom five worst. We’ve included thin crusts, rising crusts, gluten-free crusts, and everything in between. We also have a saucy discussion about the history of frozen pizza, our experiences with the taste testing, governmental cheese regulation, what “uncured pepperoni” means, and Zack’s lack of enthusiasm for this freezer favorite. Preheat your device to 400 degrees, then press play!

Hey There Delilah, it’s time for Baconsale to Crank That bracket of 2000s songs from the Around the World (La La La La La) and declare an ultimate winner! As we’re Ridin’ along, no band or artist is Bulletproof, because the one-hit wonder police are here to Shake It up a bit. When some music match-ups Collide, it’s a bit of a Paralyzer for Kent, Joel, and Zack. Nevertheless, The Boys of Summer will press forward and make the difficult decisions as they comb through A Thousand Miles of random facts. And of course, as is to be expected, things get a little Crazy. Go on. Go on. Leave me Breathless by pressing play. And you can download your own advanced 2000s one-hit wonder at Baconsale.com.

Who Let the Dogs Out? Well, that’s exactly what we’re going to try to figure out Right Now. On this episode of Baconsale, we’re talking about one-hit wonders of the 2000s. Everytime We Touch one of these music tournaments, people get a little Headstrong and say we made them have a Bad Day. Nevertheless, we’re going to advance one round on our bracket this time, and after a few Days Go By, we’ll do another episode where we’ll determine which song wins All or Nothing. Wherever You Will Go, Crush that play button, Butterfly! Download our official 2000s one-hit wonder bracket at Baconsale.com.

It was a dark and stormy night, and Kent, Joel, and Jacob are hunkered down in the Baconcave, ready to bring you horrifying true crime stories to end this Halloween season. Beware, the tales we share may be a bit too intense for children, but we’ll still try to keep things as family friendly as we can…while discussing murder. Along the way, [INSERT RUNNING GAGS FROM THE EPISODE] Press play to [INSERT INSIDE JOKE] [SCHEDULED TO PUBLISH ON 10/26]

Two years after The Haunting of Hill House terrified Kent and Joel, Netflix has released the second story in this eerie anthology, The Haunting of Bly Manor. But will this sequel series be as scary as we supposed? We’ll keep the first part of this review spoiler-free, so even if you haven’t seen it yet, you can still listen to this BaconBit. After that, we’ll discuss all nine episodes and give our opinions on the story, the characters, and the way the story is told. It’s you. It’s me. It’s Baconsale. Press play.

Attention, earthlings! You are not alone in this universe. Baconsale is here to talk to you about aliens, visitors from another planet, invaders from outer space, little green men, Greys, Reptilians, Nordics, or whatever else you want to call them. After briefly sharing their personal beliefs and stories about extraterrestrial encounters, Kent, Joel, and Zack are going to discuss the history of UFO sightings and alien abductions. We’re also going to zap through as many alien invasion movies as we possibly can, giving the good ones our stamp of approval. The truth is out there. Now, press play before the government can cover up this episode. And keep watching the skies!

On this episode of Baconsale, we’re making The Descent into horror once again with a new Decade Dance. This time, our Final Destination is a list of the ten best scary movies released between 2000 and 2009, brought to you by Shaun of the Dead. And as we go Behind the Mask on these freaky flicks, we see Signs that Zack has actually seen (Saw?) one or two of the picks on our lists, but not most of The Others. And please don’t hold a Grudge that Joel forgets about a heavy hitter in the horror game. He’s still kicking himself that he Mist (missed?) that one. Don’t wait seven days, press play now!

Joel’s a big fan of scary movies, and he wants his children to appreciate them, as well, so he’s created a four-phase training program to introduce his offspring to the horror genre. It’s not just for kids, though. This evolving spreadsheet of 80 frightening films could be for anyone who wants to dip their toes into the spooky swimming pool. Kent was thrown into the deep end as a kid and has his opinions about the flicks that Joel picked, while Zack is a horror novice who isn’t afraid of clowns, however he’s terrified of lady Gremlins. Press play to be another one of Joel’s guinea pigs in this Baconsale classroom of terror! And visit Baconsale.com to see the spreadsheet we discuss in this episode.

Cryptids are animals whose existence has not yet been proven. And it’s time for Baconsale to put some of these mythical creatures into hypothetical fights where only one of them will be left standing. Our friend Nicole, a cryptid enthusiast, is here to teach us about the folklore behind each contender and help decide who would win in such epic matchups as Bigfoot vs. The Flatwoods Monster, the Loch Ness Monster vs. the Bear Lake Monster, the Jersey Devil vs. the Dover Demon and, of course, Manananggal vs. Gef the Talking Mongoose. Press play to hear some horrible pronunciations during our most random tournament yet! And download your own Cryptid Bracket at Baconsale.com!

If you were able to pick a soundtrack to represent various times in your life, which songs would you pick? That’s the question we’re answering on this episode of Baconsale. Kent, Joel, Zack, and Jacob are all going to select music for things like their high school experience, their dating lives, their earliest childhood memories, and even their farewell songs. Jacob makes some odd choices, Joel was a little girl crazy, Kent sews his own pants, and even though Zack is the youngest, he tends to pick the oldest tunes. Press play to play the mamba with Marconi!

Jacob has taken a break from his busy schedule and his chalupas to join us in the Baconcave with the ultimate Jacob Twist: he’s stepping down as a regular host of Baconsale. This news is a little sad, yes, but it’s also kind of expected, right? It’s not all melancholy and infinite sadness, though. Jacob is going to give his skewed version of the history of Baconsale, Joel and Kent are going to give some of their favorite Jacob moments, and there’s an official passing of the torch ceremony from Jacob to Zack, where they almost burn down the place. It’s not goodbye, he’ll still return occasionally, but press play to hear it all straight from Jacob’s mouth.

The last time Mats was here, he had us watch a bunch of TV shows he enjoyed. Now it’s time for Baconsale to turn the tables on him. Kent and Joel have selected ten films for Mats to watch. These are not all best picture winners, these aren’t the highest-grossing films of all time, they may not even be our personal favorites, but we have chosen them because of their initial impact and the long-lasting influence they’ve had on pop culture. They are, in chronological order: The Wizard of Oz (1939), Psycho (1960), The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966), Jaws (1975), Rocky (1976), Star Wars (1977), Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981), Ghostbusters (1984), Jurassic Park (1993), and The Matrix (1999). Mats had only seen one of these movies beforehand and all of them were released before he was born, so press play to hear his fresh takes, unique insights, and his occasionally incorrect opinions (according to us).

Let’s get down to business to discuss Mulan. Disney had made another live-action remake of a 90s animated classic and decided to make this one a little more realistic. Or did they? Kent and Joel have watched the movie and are ready to share their opinions. We keep things spoiler-free for the first part of this BaconBit, but after that we’ll let you know what they kept, what they cut out, and if this version of the story works. We’ll also tell you whether or not it’s worth paying the extra $30 to watch this early on Disney Plus. Be a man (or a woman) and press play to listen to this BaconBit!

It's not who you are underneath, it's what you do that defines you. And Christopher Nolan has done some very good films. Therefore, it’s finally time for Kent to go full fanboy as we discuss his favorite director’s movies and rank them from eleven to one. Are you watching closely? Because along the way, we point out any and all Michael Caine appearances with poorly done impersonations, Zack expresses some serious “McConaughate,” and Joel continuously reminds you that Nolan has directed Following, Memento, Insomnia, Batman Begins, The Prestige, The Dark Knight, Inception, The Dark Knight Rises, Interstellar, Dunkirk, and Tenet. Why so serious? Stop waiting for a train, a train that will take you far away, and press play to enter the fifth dimension of Baconsale.