Baconsale: Hickory-smoked Pop Culture

Have you ever wondered who would win in a fight between Tarzan and Maui? Does a tubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff stand a chance against an inflatable personal healthcare companion? Well, Baconsale has pitted some of your favorite Disney heroes against one another in a no-holds-barred tournament to the death. However, we're only going one jump ahead on the bracket in this episode, so be sure to check out our upcoming tournament finals for these beloved animated characters. Press play to hear Cinderella tangle with Rapunzel and see if Judy Hopps gets the jump on Peter Pan! Download your own bracket at Baconsale.com and play along.

Security around this movie was pretty tight, but Kent and Joel managed to see it and are now ready to present to you their thoughts on Spider-Man: Far From Home. Joel predicts Kent's review, Kent predicts Joel's review, and then they both discuss how they actually felt about the final film in Phase Three of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Will Mysterio (Jake Gyllenhaal) charm them? Will Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) impress them? Will Jacob (Jacob Rogers) be on this episode? Press play to find out! And if you haven't seen it yet, don't worry, the first part is spoiler free.

It's been over two years since our last What Would Baconsale Do episode, but this time around there's a twist! Everyone's favorite clinical psychologist, Dr. Matt is here to deliver the questions and analyze the answers, and his sights seem to be set on the mysterious mind of Jacob. Plus, Dr. Matt makes Kent and Joel compete to see who knows Jacob better. Play along as we answer revealing questions about shopping carts, superpowers, desert islands, Universal movie monsters, chocolate, Disney princesses, bathroom sandwiches and TV moms. Press play. The doctor will see you now.

Some films don't age well. Some are better left to memory. But Baconsale is going to try an experiment. We're going to watch four movies that we haven't seen in a long time, specifically Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989), So I Married an Axe Murderer (1993), Billy Madison (1995) and What about Bob?(1991). We'll then discuss if these classic comedies still hold up after all these years. Will we be able to remain impartial & objective? Or will this be a nostalgia-fueled walk down memory lane? Press play to find out!

Kyler is a historian. History is his passion. Therefore, during our show earlier this week, he had a lot to say about how Dungeons & Dragons became the behemoth it currently is. However, since that episode already ran a little long, we decided to cut that part out and we are now presenting it to you as its own BaconBit. We hope you enjoy this lesson on the history of fantasy role-playing games. Press play. Class is about to begin.

Hearken, yon listener, and witness the tale of Baconsale! Kevros Darkeyes, Jamkas Laughshield and Jamben Sapphiredge are ready to embark on their first quest ever into the realm of Dungeons & Dragons. They are guided (tormented?) through this introductory journey into role-playing games by their guest, Dungeon Master Kyler. We hope you enjoy the occasionally dark adventures of a half-elf rogue, a gnome bard and a dragonborn ranger who battle supernatural enemies and occasionally each other. Roll the dice, press play and listen to our crash course in D&D.

Here comes the Men in Black review. Kent & Joel are putting on their dark suits and sunglasses to tell you their feelings about this sequel/spin-off/reboot. Is Tessa Thompson the next Will Smith? Can Chris Hemsworth pull off a non-Thor role? Or does the whole experience just feel kind of alien to Baconsale? Even if you haven't seen the movie, don't worry, the first half of this BaconBit is spoiler free. Now if you could just press play while looking directly into this neuralyzer, we'd appreciate it.

We had so much fun talking summer blockbusters last week on Baconsale that we decided to look at the flip side, the summer flops. Once again, we've created 16 categories, including Flop You Loved as a Child, Film that Killed the Franchise, Worst Adaptation, Needs a Sequel and Biggest Flop of All Time. Kent and Joel have to pick a winner for each one, and even though there are dozens of options out there, they still manage to match on a few choices. Press play to hear all about famous bombs at the box office.

JEEEEEEEAN! Three years have passed since Baconsale reviewed X-Men: Apocalypse. During that time, many had forgotten that this rebooted series was still making movies. But Dark Phoenix has arisen in theaters, causing many to wonder if this will be the resurgence of mutant film greatness, or if it will leave the franchise in a pile of burning ashes. And, as always, the first part of our BaconBit review is spoiler free. Press play to hear if Kent's and Joel's reviews are in cosmic harmony.

When the weather's fine, we've got summer blockbusters on our mind. We've created sixteen categories, such as Best Soundtrack, Surprise Hit, Biggest Letdown, Most Mind-Blowing Visual Effects, Best Lead Actress and, yes, Greatest of All Time. Kent and Joel probably stressed about their answers more than they should have, and they're worried about giving too many "primary answers," but we hope you enjoy this episode all about some of the biggest movies in cinematic history. Pop some popcorn, shut off your brain a little and press play to hear this explosion-fueled, CGI-laden episode of Baconsale!

Hail to the king, baby! On this BaconBit, Jacob and Kent are reviewing Godzilla: King of the Monsters. Joel didn't see it, but he's never been wowed by a Godzilla movie anyway. And, as per usual, we tend to get sidetracked as we talk about the history of Godzilla and monster movies in general. Will Kent and Jacob let the child inside of them enjoy a film about giant monsters fighting each other? Or will their cynicism get in the way? Press play! And don't fear, the first 15 minutes are spoiler free.

Valar morghulis! On this episode of Baconsale, we're discussing a small, hipster TV series you probably haven't heard of: Game of Thrones. Kent is a big fan of the show, Joel watched the entire thing once (edited) and Jacob gave up after the first season. However, this episode is NOT a scene-by-scene breakdown of the story. In fact, it's pretty spoiler-free (and family friendly). Instead, we're talking to those people who HAVEN'T watched this cultural phenomenon, and we're asking the question, "why not?" We hope you enjoy this introduction to the world of Westeros. Press play to finally understand what people mean when they say, "Winter is coming."

Make way for Fresh Prince Ali! We're ready to review one of the latest cash-grabs, er, we mean live-action remakes of a Disney animated classic. This time, however, it was Jacob and Kent who saw the new movie, while Joel didn't. Will Naomi Scott's performance as Jasmine charm the guys? Or will Will Smith's blue CGI face get in the way? And, if for some reason, you're worried about spoilers, don't worry—the first 10 minutes are spoiler-free. Press play, because you ain't never heard a BaconBit like this!

It's finally time for the episode the listener has been waiting for: Baconsale is tiering pets! Please. Contain your excitement. We're taking 22 domesticated animals (Wait! 23! We totally forgot about monkeys!) and ranking them as a Tier 1, Tier 2 or Tier 3 pet. We also share some stories about our history with pets. Jacob feels rodents are useless, Joel thinks horses are a little creepy, and somehow every discussion ends up relating to Kent's dating life. Press play to hear us argue like cats and dogs!

Again, we have no idea how this actually happened, but people actually showed up to meet us at our From Scratch event this past Saturday. Actually, most of the people came for the free Baconsale Burger, but we were still happy to see them. And on this BaconBit, we'll discuss behind-the-scenes thoughts, our experiences meeting the listener, and possible events in the future. Oh, and we recorded your shout-outs and will be playing them at the end of the show. Press play to hear how Kent, Joel and Jacob feel it all went.

Now what Baconsale is about to say may sound a little crazy, but today we're talking about conspiracy theories with our guest, Scott Sprague. And the truths we're exposing in this episode cover everything from Home Alone to royal vampires to celebrity clones to child abductions. It's all connected! WARNING! This subject matter gets pretty heavy at times, especially when we're discussing true crimes like the case of JonBenét Ramsey. It's not explicit, but it's definitely intense, and Joel feels obligated to try and lighten the mood with dad jokes. So put on your tinfoil hats and press play!

Now that the Endgame has ended, it's time for Baconsale to talk about the other movies coming out this summer. Kent wants you to appreciate his hipster film picks, Joel seems to have a grudge against Disney, and Jacob audibly judges both of them. Also, for the sake of the children, whenever potentially questionable words are brought up, the guys try S-P-E-L-ling them out. However, sometimes that makes the word sound even less family friendly. Whoops. Press play and allow us to cinematically guide you through May to August of 2019.

The Infinity Saga has reached its conclusion, therefore it's time for Baconsale to rank all 22 films in the Marvel Cinematic Universe from worst to best. Kent, Joel and Jacob have combined their individual rankings into one Baconsale-approved list and now they have to live with the consequences. Joel will try his best to keep Kent and Jacob from being too negative, but it's an uphill battle. And while there are spoilers for some of the older movies, don't worry, we banished all the spoilers for Avengers: Endgame to our BaconBit review of that film. Press play and play along as we take a stroll down Marvel memory lane.

Since Avengers: Endgame is over three hours long, we decided that we could make this BaconBit a little longer than normal. The first 15 minutes are spoiler-free, but then we get into what happens in this film, who lives, who dies and which plot points don't make a lot of sense (wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff). Will this finally be the Marvel movie that wins Kent over? Or will it simply confirm what he's always felt about this franchise? Avenge the fallen. Press play.

We've talked about the lovely and talented Ms. Kate Beckinsale many times on Baconsale, but we've never really discussed her movies...until now! Join Kent, Joel and Jacob as they tell her story in their thick and sultry voices, and then rank her top five and bottom five films. We even got up on our tiptoes to find a film that Ms. Beckinsale would probably like to forget about. *insert creepy laugh here* Press play to hear Kate Beckinsale introduce a Baconsale episode about Kate Beckinsale.