Baconsale: Hickory-smoked Pop Culture

Believe it or not, Joel, Kent, and Zack have been hired as temps at a dating agency. Their assignment is to feed the submitted dating profiles into the high-tech D.A.T.E. machine and then notify the new couple. And on this episode of Baconsale, the eligible bachelors & bachelorettes are all single animated Disney characters. These are the ones who didn’t find love in their respective movies and want another chance at finding someone special. It may surprise you who is in our files, and what they choose to put in their dating profiles may shock you even more, but we hope you enjoy it as we debate if these set-ups will turn into a long-term relationship, if a second date will even happen, or if these lonely hearts will just end up ghosting each other.   Beep-boop-bop. Press play.

Nepo babies, they make their dreams come true. But will they do the same for you? Well, this topic’s kind of weird, but we wish to make you aware. Just open your eyes and you will see that nepotism’s everywhere. Especially in Hollywood, that is. So, on this episode of Baconsale, we’re discussing those in the film & music industry who may have gotten a leg up on their careers due to their famous parents or relatives. Much like Zack, you may be shocked at some of the familial relationships we expose, or you may just be surprised by how many bad movies we bring up. But we’ll do our best not to get too salty as we ponder if these children of celebrities have earned their place in pop culture. Press play to see a Venn diagram of Irish gingers.

Just ignore our unusual haircuts as we review the movie Argylle, which was one of Joel’s most anticipated films of the year. Zack didn’t see this satirical spy flick, so he has some questions, and we’re going to do our best to answer them without spoiling anything during the first half of this BaconBit. Then, after Zack leaves, Kent & Joel are going to flip to the last chapter of the book and talk about all the twists, turns, and CG shots of a cat.   Press play, but please don’t look Kent in the eye.

Baconsale, the podcast that smiles back, has ranked chips before, but on this episode we’ve brought a laundry basket full of 21 different types of crackers so we can tier each one. We’ll first briefly discuss the history of these crispy snacks, and then we’ll share our feelings about Ritz, Cheese-It, Goldfish, Chicken in a Biskit, Saltines, Triscuit, Wheat Thins, Graham crackers, pretzels, and more. And we hope you play along as we take a crunchy bite into such topics as flavor and mouthfeel, so you can determine if you’re a cracker matcher, a biscuit buddy, or a cracker slacker.   Press play to get that buttery, flaky feeling.

It’s time for the traditional tabloid episode of Baconsale. Joel, Kent, and Zack have peered into the cracked, hard water-stained crystal ball once again to prognosticate about pop culture events for the upcoming year. But before we discuss the films we want to see and the ones we want to flop, we’ll dive into the drama, call for celebrities to make a comeback, and shrug our shoulders at People Magazine’s choice for Sexiest Man Alive. We’ll also be harvesting lots of low-hanging fruit, talking way too much about Taylor Swift, and swerving dangerously close to politics. Nevertheless, we hope you enjoy hearing our super-informed sports predictions as well as our catty celebrity chatter.   Press play to split a bowl of soup with Baconsale!

After almost a decade of Baconsale, we’re kicking off our tenth season in the best way we know how: talking about the movies we liked and the ones we disliked from the previous year. And, as an added bonus, Zack is playing this time (using Joel’s selection method)! After momentarily forgetting how to podcast, we’ll soon get back into our usual rhythm and repeatedly apologize to Kent, who apparently hates beautiful people. Joel is favoring documentaries and GIFs from 2023, Zack is playing catch-up on some fantastic films, and Kent just wants you to join him in the sun.   Press play to hear our top-bottom and our bottom-top picks!

Time after time, we end our seasons of Baconsale by taking a look back at the episodes we’ve done that year, and season nine is no exception. Joel, Kent, and Zack are going to throw some quick podcast stats & facts your way and then we’ll jump into our categories. We’ll introduce our favorite intros, talk about our many film tournaments, muse on some memorable moments, and reminisce about running gags. Listen as we share way too many honorable mentions, do hand-table dinosaurs, get a little giggly, and give a special award to the Baconsale Volunteer of the Year. It’s a lot of inside jokes (doo-dah), but we hope you enjoy this self-indulgent season finale as much as we did.   Like our episode images on Instagram (for Kent’s sake) and then press play!

I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore, because there are a variety of genres on this Baconsale movie bracket. We phoned home to you, the listener, and asked you to submit your favorite family films. Very quickly we noticed some inconceivable matchups, some of which are going to get us into the biggest pickles of all time. Be prepared, there’s a chance that things could get sassy, especially after we get into the Sweet 16 (going on seventeen), but we just keep swimming as movies keep moving one jump ahead. You may call us les incompétents for some of our decisions and say that our choices were made by pure imagination, which is a tale as old as time. However, despite the minor hiccups, we hope at last you’ll see the light that not every family film can be super, that some of these decisions are heavy, and that a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.   Press play because, as our Aunt Lucy always says, fear does not exist in this dojo.   Hey, you guys! If you want to download the official bracket fo

The holidays are a busy time, with multiple events vying for our attention. Unfortunately Kent & Joel have both planned their separate Christmas parties for the same evening in the same cul-de-sac. So Zack now needs to decide which party he’s going to attend. But how will he choose? Well, that depends on the guest lists. Kent and Joel are going to take turns inviting characters from popular Christmas movies, such as Buddy the Elf, Ebenezer Scrooge, Frosty the Snowman, The Grinch, Kevin McCallister, and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Some of the guests will help our chances of luring Zack in, some will hurt them, and one option will be left out in the cold.   Press play to hear some questionable Jimmy Stewart impersonations. And watch out for animal droppings!

Six years later.   A lot has changed since the last time Baconsale discussed documentaries. For instance, true stories are now more widely watched—especially the ones about murder, for some reason. The problem now, though, is that there are so many documentary and docuseries options out there that it’s difficult to know which ones are worth your time. That’s were Joel, Kent, and Zack come in. They’ve each brought five factual films to the table. Some are long, some are short, some will lift you up, some may pull you down, but we feel all of them are worth sharing with you, the listener, and we’ll do our best to stick to medium spoilers, at most.   Press play to count how many Taylor Swift references we can make in one episode.

Ranking pies will be a piece of cake. At least, that’s what we thought when we began this episode of Baconsale. However, as Joel, Kent, and Zack start to dig into this delicious dessert topic, they quickly realize they have some very different oPIEnions. After briefly discussing the history of these sweet treats, we’re going to tier popular pastries such as pumpkin, cherry, apple, key lime, pecan, mixed berry, and banana cream. Join us as we serve up some controversial takes and discover our pie preferences could, in fact, be a reflection of our personality types.   Press play to be à la mode.

It’s time to get your adrenaline pumping, because on this episode of Baconsale we’re discussing some of the greatest action scenes of all time. Our friend Shannon is joining Joel, Kent, and Zack to pick answers for such categories as Best Large-Scale Battle Scene, Favorite Car Chase, Most Outrageously Fun Scene, Best Line or Dialogue, Most Disappointing, and Favorite Overall. Along the way, we’re going to match a few of each other’s choices and we’re going to have a hard time pronouncing Cary Elwes (was he the king of Gondor?), but we’ll do our best do paint each scene for you and not give honorable mentions.   Press play to join us in space, listener. SPACE!

It’s been a hot minute since we’ve done a BaconBit, but it’s also been a few years since Captain Marvel was in theaters. Both Joel & Kent went into The Marvels with some pre-conceived notions about the current state of the MCU, and during this review we’ll see if Carol Danvers, Monica Rambeau, and Kamala Khan can change their minds. Don’t worry, we’ll isolate the spoilers in another dimension during the first part of this review. And we’ll use our powers to alert you before we swap places into spoiler territory.   There’s no need to watch WandaVision, Ms. Marvel, or Secret Invasion to understand this BaconBit, just press play.

After being let go from their previous job at Arkham Asylum, Joel, Kent, and Zack have been hired as security guards on the Raft, a prison made for super-powered criminals in the Marvel universe. So on this episode of Baconsale, we’re going to be deciding if some of Spider-Man’s most villainous enemies belong in maximum-, medium-, or minimum-security cells when they arrive webbed-up and unconscious on our doorstep. We’ve also been assigned to different floors, so the vibe is definitely different depending on who is guarding them. Listen as we make cringe-worthy puns about the Green Goblin, debate about the strength of Doctor Octopus & mason jars, and try to keep Kent from falling in love with Black Cat (or Venom).   Press play to prepare for Pizza Friday!

Hello, Sidney/Clarice/listener! Baconsale asked you, our number one fans, to submit the best horror, thriller, and suspense films. Then, after waiting until dark and playing a few rounds of hide & clap, we put those movies on a bracket. And while it won’t take us seven days to finish this tournament, we’re gonna need a bigger boat, because our discussions go a little long. After all, some of our favorite picks will have to get out—they can’t all float to the top. At times, Joel’s, Kent’s, and Zack’s emotions will come bursting out of their chest, and we may make some decisions that will make you giggle and say, “are you mad?” But we all go a little mad sometimes, don’t we? Especially when it’s all work and no play and we start seeing dead people.   Stand in the corner and press play to experience some paranormal activity.   And if you want the official Thriller of Thrillers bracket, download the thing at Baconsale.com.

When three podcast archeologists stumble upon the tomb of Ba-Con-Sale during an expedition, they unknowingly unleash a horrible curse. The curse… of having to watch some really dry movies. Because on this episode, we’re discussing mummies. Joel, Kent, and Zack have excavated some historical accounts & various mummy facts, and they’re ready to put them on display for all to hear. And we’re not just talking about Egyptian pharaohs & ancient tombs, we’ll also be sharing tales of European bog bodies, Japanese monk pits, and accidental zombies from the Americas. Then we’ll wrap things up by giving our approval (or disapproval) of a sarcophagus-full of mummy films. WARNING: Some of the mummification descriptions may be a little grotesque, so we don’t recommend eating while listening.   It doesn’t matter if you’re Team Imhotep or Team Kharis, press play!

It’s time for Baconsale to share some more Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark! Can we get a bizee, bizee, BUZ-OOOOOO-O-O-O? Zack didn’t grow up reading these creepy children’s books by Alvin Schwartz, so Kent & Joel are ready to educate and alarm him. On this episode, we’ll be reading such terrifying tales such as “Maybe You Will Remember,” “The Viper,” “The Appointment,” “The Girl Who Stood on a Grave,” “The Wendigo,” “The Cat’s Paw,” and “Sam’s New Pet.” We’ll also be sharing a couple short stories we enjoy from other horror anthologies. As we do, we’ll try our best to be serious and keep the mood spooky, despite our attempts at doing different voices & accents.   Press play to let Stephen Gammell’s disturbing drawings haunt your nightmares once again.

We were working the lab, late one night, and agreed to bring this idea to light: what if we played the classic schoolchildren’s game M.A.S.H., but with a Halloween twist? So on this episode of Baconsale, Joel, Kent & Zack are each going to create a horror movie right before your ears, completely based on the horrifying power of chance. A random number generator will pick our genre, director, rating, actors, monster, and more. Fate will even choose whether we live or die. And after we check our vibes and Zack earns some film cred, we’ll leave it up to you to decide which one of our films is best. But remember to beware the i-n-g!   Put on your Denny’s goggles and double-tap that play button.

What are you going to be on Halloween night? A witch, or a goblin, or a ghost? Well, on this episode of Baconsale, we’re kicking off the spooky season by taking a look at the various costumes we’ve worn in Octobers past. Joel, Kent, and Zack will be rummaging through their guising closets to pick answers for such categories as First One You Remember Wearing, Best Pop Culture Character, Most Embarrassing, Scariest, Easiest to Put Together, Most Elaborate, and Personal Favorite. And as we go door-to-door in our memories (and Zack stalks Kent on Facebook), we hope you’re playing along at home and possibly even getting some ideas for a future Halloween costume.   Press play to put on those leotards for the ‘Gram.

Why should films get to have all the fun? We’re modifying a classic Baconsale game to focus on songs, albums, and bands. In each musical match-up, Joel, Kent, and Zack are going to decide which of these choices will be experienced during one amazing concert, which one will be saved on our iPods (remember those?), and which one will be erased from existence. Some decisions are quite easy, others bring back junior high school dance memories, and some lead to discussions about murder. We hope you enjoy playing along as we give this new twist on an old show a shot.   Press play to be left of the dealer.