Baconsale: Hickory-smoked Pop Culture

Joel, Kent, and Zack are going to do another category show all about Baconsale because the season has come to an end. Things start off with a thousand voices & a single dream, followed by a discussion of our favorite moments, strange topics, what surprised us, our biggest accomplishments, and more. Kent cheats a little on his categories this year, while Joel forgot that he could do that. And Zack gives a not-so-subtle hint about what kind of show he’d like to do in the future. Yes, this episode involves a lot of back-patting (which makes us feel a little awkward at times), but it’s an entertaining walk down memory lane, along with slight mockery and a few guilt trips.   Let’s get it started! Press play.

Marley was dead: to begin with. Dead as a door-nail. This must be distinctly understood, or nothing wonderful can come of the Baconsale episode we are going to relate. Joel, Kent, and Zack have watched every film adaptation of Charles Dickens’ novella, A Christmas Carol, and we’re going to build our own version of Ebenezer Scrooge’s story using the tried-and-true method of M.A.S.H. As we do so, we’ll also share our thoughts on the acting, the storytelling, the sets, the costumes, the visual effects, and the music of each version we saw. And we’ll pick our favorite and least favorite movies. Will the Christmas spirits be kind to us? Or will we wear the chains we formed in life, link by link, and yard by yard?   Don’t say “Bah! Humbug!” Come in! Press play! And know us better, man!

On the first show of December, our podcast gave to you, a random holiday-themed ranking episode. We’ve decided to take a Baconsale-style look at the presents given during The Twelve Days of Christmas and see if they’re something that anyone would actually want. After we discuss the history of the song and how much these gifts would cost, we’ll then tier each present according to what we’d cherish forever, what we might enjoy once, and what we’d regift or just throw away. Joel gets a little greedy for gold, people never stop dancing at Kent’s apartment in New York, and watch out for the Zack Attack at the end! It’s a killer!   It doesn’t matter if you’re a drummer, a piper, a lord, a lady, a milkmaid, a swan, a goose, a ring, a blackbird, a hen, a dove, or a partridge, press play!

Pack your bags, listener! We’re taking a trip down memory lane! On this episode of Baconsale, Kent, Joel, and Zack are going to be discussing our favorite (and least favorite) vacations. And since it’s always more fun to travel with friends, we’ve invited Rocky & Steph (Stephanie & Rock?) to join us as we pick answers for each of our seven categories, which include Best Scenic Drive, Most Regularly Visited Destination, and Trip You’d Like Do Again. Along the way, we’ll make some basic & boujee choices, we’ll discover who enjoys plaque reading, and we’ll teach you the benefits of Neosporin.   Press play to get a stamp in your podcast passport, Baconites!

Hey, Soul Sister! We’re over the (My) Humps and finishing our terrible song tournament on this episode of Baconsale. Joel, Kent, and Zack may not be Happy with the awful tunes they must move forward, because they have to Play It Again, and there are Blurred Lines with some of their reasoning, but the urge to crown a “winner” is Simply Irresistible. Will Zack’s choices make you Blue (Da Ba Dee)? Will Kent be able to remember what he said previously Before He Cheats on his logic? Is Cotton Eye Joe(l) wearing Christmas Shoes? Listen to find out (and to learn what The Fox says). Don’t be Rude! Press play to take a mental Photograph of our musical anguish.   Download & print the advanced Worst Song of Songs bracket at Baconsale.com!

Last Christmas (or rather last March), Baconsale picked the ultimate Song of Songs. And now, even though No One was really asking for it, we’re beginning our quest to find the least Perfect song. We asked our listener (including all the Single Ladies), to submit their terrible tunes, and we’ve put those disagreeable ditties in a bracket. Why? This is How We Roll. Joel, Kent, and Zack have accepted your choices With Arms Wide Open, and then they’ll make Chop Suey of 32 songs that they don’t think deserve to win. And while we may not understand The Reason some of you made the picks you did, we won’t give you the Run-Around for long, because we’ll finish this tournament on the next episode.   Don’t Worry Be Happy, and press play if you Believe in life after love. Download & print the official Worst Song of Songs bracket at Baconsale.com to play along at home!

It’s been four years since the first standalone Black Panther movie. A lot of events within the Marvel Cinematic Universe have occurred since then, as well as the tragic, real-life passing of Chadwick Boseman, but is this sequel a fitting finish to Phase Four? Or is this two-hour-and-forty-one-minute movie going to be a drain on our mental resources? Joel and Kent are going to start this review on their own, since they saw the movie together, and Zack will join us as soon as we start spoiling the movie (about 18 minutes in). However, we’ll keep our thoughts spoiler-free before then. Take your mask off and press play to hear about the Na'vi suffering bloodless deaths via vibranium.

Lights! Camera! Silence! On this episode of Baconsale, Joel is showing his age. He’s brought a selection of silent films to the table in hopes that Zack and Kent have (finally) watched them and are ready to review all ten. Some of these movies are over 100 years old, yet Joel feels they still have something to offer modern audiences. While Zack is concerned about the content of these pre-Production Code motion pictures, so he’s going to let parents know what to expect. Will Charlie Chaplin make us chuckle? Does Buster Keaton have us busting a gut? Is Metropolis still mesmerizing? Listen to our fully audio podcast to find out.   Press play because Guillermo del Toro says this is his favorite episode.

Once again, we handed the keys to the asylum over to the patients and let you, the listener, take over this Baconsale Halloween episode. We asked for more of your terrifying true stories as well as frightening fictional tales, and you certainly delivered. Joel, Kent, and Zack are going to take turns reading your spooky submissions… along with some slight mockery (Hey! It’s what we do!). We’ll do our best to keep the mood scary, though, as we share stories about hairy creatures, car creepers, gray ghosts, unwanted hitchhikers, raspy breathing, haunting acronyms, ALARMING ALL CAPS, and spine-chilling sk-el-el-letons!   Press play to hear Joel do eerily accurate impressions of Kent, Zack, and Jacob.

Since we talked about haunted places last year, Baconsale has decided to round out the ghostly nouns on this episode and talk about haunted things & people. We’ll be discussing diabolic dolls, chatting about cursed canvases, and babbling about blighted bunk beds. Despite the darker subject material, Joel, Kent, and Zack are going to do their best to keep things light & fluffy, and not focus on the fact that possession is nine-tenths of the law. We’ll also be examining 35 movies related to this spooky subject and giving some of them (slight) Baconsale approval!   Join us! Put down that haunted spoon and press play!

It’s finally here! The movie that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has been promoting for the past decade or so! Black Adam has Shazam-ed into theaters, and Baconsale is ready to review it. Kent, the DC-loving cynic, has been a little down on the Extended Universe lately, but will this Warner Bros. Picture light the spark of hope in his chest once again? Or will his darker, pessimistic side be the reigning champion and influence Joel and Zack? Even if you haven’t seen the film yet, you can still listen to the spoiler-free first part of this BaconBit to find out our thoughts on Black Adam.   Press play to search for eternium/vibranium in the mines Kahndaq/Wakanda.

In the summer of 1957, a young boy named Jason Voorhees drowned at Camp Crystal Lake in New Jersey. Since that tragic event, a string of murders has occurred in or around the campground, causing some to wonder if the area is cursed or even haunted by a masked, vengeful ghoul. This is the true story of Camp Blood…   Okay, so this is actually the plot of a highly successful horror film franchise called Friday the 13th. However, we are going to talk about it as if it were a true crime story for the first part of this episode of Baconsale. After we take off that mask, we’ll chat about the background of these films and use our combined scores to rank all twelve movies. Also, please note that while Joel will try to keep Kent’s descriptions of the killings as family friendly as possible, things do tend to get a little grisly when it comes to discussing slasher flicks.   Press-press-press! Play-play-play!

Paranormal investigator Beaker is back on Baconsale! Once again, he’s brought a list of 13 alarming areas & petrifying places from around the world, and it’s up to us to decide if we’d be willing to spend the night there by ourselves. Will we laugh at the ha-ha walls surrounding the Aradale Mental Hospital in Australia? Will the ghosts of Gettysburg be our confederates? Will we lose our nerve in the Bermuda Triangle of Romania? Will we be able to pronounce Lawang Sewu? All these questions and more will be answered as we test our tongues and our bravery in frightening foreign lands.   Press play to see if the ghost dogs are good boys.

Oh, look. Another glorious BaconBit! Thirty years (minus one year) ago, a Disney movie about witches received mixed reviews from critics and didn’t do that well at the box office. However, since that time, it has become a beloved cult classic for many, leading to the long-delayed legasequel: Hocus Pocus 2. But do the Sanderson sisters possess the same magic they did decades ago? And will Joel, Kent, and Zack enjoy this sequel when none of them truly loved the original? We’ll start off this BaconBit with our spoiler-free reviews, but then we’ll break that spell and discuss the whole film without holding back.   Itch-it-a-cop-it-a-mel-a-ka-mys-ti-ca… press play!

We see a Bad Moon Rising, which must mean it’s finally October! And Heads Will Roll as Baconsale carefully crafts the perfect playlist for any Monster Mash. Joel, Kent, and Zack have done some Weird Science to select 31 spooky songs that they hope will turn a dance floor Ghost Town into a Thriller of a Dead Man’s Party. And while Kent may be a Psycho Killer of Halloween music, you can still Unleash Your Spirit and join us as we enter The Time Warp and take plenty of punch breaks.   Dig through the ditches, burn through the witches, and press play.   And you can find our official Halloween party playlist at Baconsale.com.

I scream, you scream, we all scream when Baconsale does a food challenge. Here’s the scoop: Joel, Kent, and Zack decided to take on the 31 flavors of Baskin-Robbins, only to discover that was just the beginning of our journey. We’ll first give the history of the world's largest chain of ice cream specialty stores and talk about our quest experiences. Then we’ll share our combined scores and reveal the bottom five and top five ice cream flavors. Listen as we tank each other’s ratings, offer some coffee confessions, and tell the tale of how one of us faced frozen death in the face and lived to talk about it.   Find an ice cream buddy and press play!

It's a dangerous business, listener, discussing The Lord of the Rings. You step into this subject and, if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to. Nevertheless, we’re visiting Middle-earth once again, but this time we’re bringing a guest. Our friend Glo is joining us for this fantastical adventure where we’ll be picking answers for categories such as Best Battle, Creepiest Creature, Coolest Set Piece, Favorite Character, and Most Emotional Moment. We’re going to get a little geeky as we journey through the films & books, and we’ll expose Zack’s love for Aragorn, Kent & Glo’s opposing views of Samwise, and Joel’s hidden desire for darkness.   The beacons are lit! Baconsale calls for aid. Will you answer by pressing play?

Steak. Seafood. Salad. Tiering. On this episode of Baconsale, we’re ranking 24 casual dining restaurants, giving their backstories, and sharing our opinions on these enticing eateries. We’ll be discussing Denny’s, judging Johnny Rockets, reviewing Red Robin, observing Olive Garden, critiquing Chili’s, and more. Zack thinks each one of these restaurant chains is a version of Applebee’s. Kent enjoys eating adult chicken nuggets at Buffalo Wild Wings. And Joel is irate with IHOP for discontinuing the Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity.   Press play. Because when you’re listening, you’re family.

It’s showtime, folks! Now that Zack has finished Better Call Saul—and we’ve given you some time to watch it, too—we finally can talk about this popular TV series and whether or not it raises the bar for spin-offs. We’ll start off this BaconBit spoiler-free and give our overall impressions of the show and the main characters, and then we’ll give you fair warning before we slip into spoilers. How does it compare to Breaking Bad? Are we satisfied with Jimmy’s transformation into Saul? Did we get confused with all the time jumps? Are we satisfied with how this series ended? And why do we keep making references to the 2008 movie Hancock?   Press play to find out if it’s all good, man.

Autumn is approaching, which means it’s time for Baconsale to look toward the near cinematic future and let you know which films are coming out before the end of the year. Our leap-year host Dan is back, since Zack is on paternity leave, and he’s going to join Joel & Kent in giving five upcoming movies we want to see flop, as well as five movies we’re looking forward to. As per usual, Kent’s invited guest tends to agree with him, but not as per usual, Joel doesn’t make a lot of mainstream picks. Listen as we agree on some choices, take some pot shots at Disney and, for some reason, make allusions to rides at Lagoon.   Press play to fear Winnie the Pooh again.