Myopia: Defend Your Childhood - A Nostalgic Movies Podcast

This week we continue the Worst of the Previous Year for Oscars Month and are baffled by a stupid movie, whose book is somehow worse. We watched Argylle, the worse the script, the dumber the lie.  How will Argylle hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matt, Zack Directed by Matthew Vaughn Starring: Henry Cavill, Bryce Dallas Howard, Sam Rockwell, Bryan Cranston, Catherine O'Hara, Daniel Singh, Dua Lipa, Ariana DeBose, Richard E. Grant, John Cena

Welcome to Myopia Movies, where this week, we watched Madame Web, Sony’s latest attempt to prove you can make a Spider-Man movie without Spider-Man—or a plot, or logic, or an audience. Make sure to like and subscribe wherever you are getting this! Please leave us a review and follow us everywhere! How will Madame Web hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Nur, Keiko, Matthew   Directed by S.J. Clarkson Starring: Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney, Isabela Merced, Celeste O'Connor, Tahar Rahim, Mike Epps, Emma Roberts,  Adam Scott  

This week on Myopia Movies, in honor of the Academy Awards this week, we are covering some of the worst, weirdest, and biggest disasters of the previous year. This week we start with Francis Ford Coppola's vivid, but baffling 'Fable' Megalopolis. We're all going to the cluuuuuubbbbbb! How will Megalopolis hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Daniel, Alex, Matthew, Keiko Directed by: Francis Ford Coppola Starring: Adam Driver, Giancarlo Esposito, Nathalie Emmanuel, Aubrey Plaza, Shia LaBeouf, Jon Voight, Laurence Fishburne, Talia Shire, Jason Schwartzman, Kathryn Hunter, Grace VanderWaal, Chloe Fineman, James Remar, D.B. Sweeney, Balthazar Getty

Welcome to Myopia Movies, after that brief diversion to celebrate 500 episodes, we turned to Robin Hood: Men in Tights, I mean, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. I guess American Robin Hoods don't even need to try accents...you know what? It is for the best.  Make sure to like and subscribe where ever you are getting this! Please leave us a review and follow us  everywhere! How will Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves hold up?  Host: Nic Panel: Alex, Keiko, Nur, Matt   Directed by Kevin Reynolds Starring: Kevin Costner, Morgan Freeman, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, Christian Slater, Alan Rickman, Geraldine McEwan, Michael McShane, Brian Blessed, Michael Wincott

This week on Myopia Movies, we’re celebrating a milestone—500 episodes! To honor the journey, we’re going back to a movie that came out just as we were starting and talking about the Turtles. This time, though, we are covering the 2014 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, produced by Michael Bay, which came out while we were starting. It’s awful, it’s outrageous, and surprisingly adult for what was a kids’ movie. So, for this special episode, we’re doing something different: a syncable commentary, just like on the old CineProv Patreon. We will count off the film and tell you when to hit play. Whether you’re watching along (it was on Amazon Prime when we recorded) or just listening, we’re here to have fun, make jokes, and share in the absurdity. Thank you for supporting us through 500 episodes—we appreciate you! How will Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) hold up?  Host: Nic Panel: Alex, Daniel, Matthew, and Keiko   Directed by Jonathan Liebesman Starring Megan Fox, Will Arnett, William Fichtner, Noel Fisher, Alan R

Happy Valentines Day! That means cheesy rom-coms! This week on Myopia Movies, we learn the danger of print media! We watched How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, or How to Troll Your Partner. We will talk horrible SOs, ruining basketball, and naming your penis!  Make sure to like and subscribe where ever you are getting this! Please leave us a review and follow us on Bluesky, Reddit, and Facebook! How will How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Nur, Matthew, and Keiko   Directed by Donald Petrie Starring: Kate Hudson, Matthew McConaughey, Adam Goldberg, Kathryn Hahn, Annie Parisse, Thomas Lennon  

Welcome to Myopia Movies, where we rewatch the films of our youth to see if they stand the test of time—or if nostalgia was lying to us! This week, we’re diving into 1989’s Look Who’s Talking, the baby-powered comedy that made us all wonder what our infants were really thinking. With John Travolta, Kirstie Alley, and Bruce Willis as the voice of a wisecracking newborn, this movie was a box office hit—but does it still charm in 2024, or is it just baby babble? Strap in your car seats, folks—we’re about to find out! Make sure to like and subscribe where ever you are getting this! Please leave us a review and follow us on Bluesky, Reddit, and Facebook! How will Look Who's Talking hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Alex, Nur  

Welcome to Myopia Movies, the podcast where we revisit the films of our youth to see if they hold up under the lens of nostalgia—or crumble under the weight of time! This week, we’re plunging headfirst into the campy chaos of 1984’s Ice Pirates. With space herpes, robot pirates, and a desert-dry water crisis, this sci-fi comedy is equal parts swashbuckling adventure and ‘80s absurdity. But does it still have treasure hidden beneath its dated special effects, or has it been lost in the black hole of bad cinema? Strap in, mateys, and let’s find out! Make sure to like and subscribe where ever you are getting this! Please leave us a review and follow us on Bluesky, Reddit, and Facebook! How will Ice Pirates hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Nur, Alex, Keiko, and Matt   Directed by Stewart Raffill Starring: Robert Urich, Mary Crosby, Michael D. Roberts, Anjelica Huston, John Matuszak, Ron Perlman, John Carradine, Natalie Core, Jeremy West,  Bruce Vilanch

Welcome back to Myopia Movies the show where we boldly go—wait, wrong franchise—where we dive headfirst into the galaxy far, far away! And today, we’re talking about Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back, the movie that taught us three very important lessons: 1) Always check if someone’s your dad before you start a fight, 2) Tauntauns may smell bad, but they’re lifesavers, and 3) Never kiss your sibling—even if you don’t know they’re your sibling. That’s right! We’re breaking down the movie where the good guys lose, the bad guys win, and we’re left screaming, ‘LUKE, DON’T DO IT!’ louder than Darth Vader in a parenting seminar. So grab your lightsabers, bundle up for Hoth, and let’s jump into the movie that made us all question our family trees and our ability to trust small green swamp creatures!” Make sure to like and subscribe where ever you are getting this! Please leave us a review and follow us on Bluesky, Reddit, and Facebook! This week, we dig deeper into the cold to talk about Star Wars

This week, in honor of the cold movie month, we hit the slope with James Bond as we dust off the archives and talk For Your Eyes Only! Roger Moore beds a figure skater....classy! How will For Your Eyes Only hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matt, Daniel, Jon   Directed by John Glen Starring: Roger Moore, Carole Bouquet, Topol, Lynn-Holly Johnson, Julian Glover, Cassandra Harris, Jill Bennett, Michael Gothard, Lois Maxwell, Desmond Llewelyn

This week on our Cold Movie Month, we climb K2, because it was the style at the time. We watched Vertical Limit! Remember when Chris O'Donnell opened blockbusters? Also, stupid movie, but makes you miss Bill Paxton. How will Vertical Limit hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Nur and Matthew   Directed by Martin Campbell Starring: Scott Glenn, Chris O'Donnell, Bill Paxton, Robin Tunney, Stuart Wilson, Augie Davis, Temuera Morrison, Roshan Seth, Nicholas Lea

This week we learn the importance of allowing writers to have alcohol. We watched The Shining, today the line would be "Jimmy Fallon!" We are starting a month of cold movies. How will The Shining hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matthew and Nur Directed by Stanley Kubrick Starring:Jack Nicholson, Shelley Duvall, Danny Lloyd, Scatman Crothers, Barry Nelson, Philip Stone, Joe Turkel

This week on Myopia Movies, we revisit the best version of Robin Hood since Erroll Flynn, you heard me Crowe, Costner, and Edgerton. Elwes, you're cool. We watched Robin Hood (1973), the originination point for Gen X and Millenial furries.  How will Robin Hood (1973) hold up? Host: Nic (but much younger sounding).  Directed by Wolfgang Reitherman and David Hand Starring: Brian Bedford, Phil Harris, Roger Miller, Peter Ustinov, Terry-Thomas,  Monica Evans, Andy Devine, Carole Shelley, Pat Buttram, George Lindsey, Ken Curtis

This week on Myopia Movies, we fall in love again...with Gaston. We watched Beauty and the Beast, a podcast old as time, set in Disney-cember, and wish that the beast turned back (I think this is what Shrek's ending is about.) How will Beauty and the Beast hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Candace, Keiko, Matthew, Alex.   Directed by Gary Trousdale and Kirk Wise Starring Paige O'Hara, Robby Benson, Jesse Corti, Rex Everhart, Angela Lansbury, Jerry Orbach, Bradley Pierce, David Ogden Stiers, Richard White, Jo Anne Worley, Mary Kay Bergman

The week in your Disney-cember stocking, we are visiting the movie that ushered in the Disney Renaissance. We watched The Little Mermaid (1989), where hosts don't reprimand their panel.  Does The Little Mermaid (1989) hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Candace, Alex   Directed by Ron Clements and John Musker Starring: Jodi Benson, Samuel E. Wright, Rene Auberjonois, Christopher Daniel Barnes, Pat Carroll, Paddi Edwards, Buddy Hackett, Kenneth Mars, Edie McClurg

This week on Myopia Movies we start our Disney-cember by watching what turned out to be a real argumentative movie. We watched The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, I say you just cut Edmund loose.  How will The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Candace, Nur, Keiko, Alex   Directed by Andrew Adamson Starring: Tilda Swinton, Georgie Henley, William Moseley, Skandar Keynes, Anna Popplewell, James McAvoy, Jim Broadbent

This week on Myopia Movies, we end Keiko-vember and wish you a Happy Thanksgiving as we visit the MILF market...I mean Mommy Market....MOMMY MARKET....only if they call me daddy....We watched Trading Mom! Did you know that Sissy Spacek had this range? From Workaholic Mom to Circus Mom? How will Trading Mom hold up? Host: Keiko Panel: Alex, Nic, Matt, Daniel Directed by Tia Brelis Starring: Sissy Spacek, Anna Chlumsky, Aaron Michael Metchik, Asher Metchik, Maureen Stapleton, Merritt Yohnka, André René Roussimoff (as André the Giant)

This week on Keiko-vember, we revisit made-for-TV Disney to watch a musical with a stacked cast! We watched Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella (1997), the recordholder for the bestselling video for a made-for-TV movie. How will Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella (1997) hold up? Host: Keiko Panel: Nic, Matt, Alex Directed by Robert Iscove Starring: Brandy Norwood, Bernadette Peters, Veanne Cox, Natalie Desselle Reid, Paolo Montalban, Jason Alexander, Whoopi Goldberg, Victor Garber, Whitney Houston

This week on Myopia Movies, we learn the value of a good sound system. We continue Keiko-vember by diving into the 90s fever dream that is Kazaam. You know, the movie you might’ve confused with Shazam starring Sinbad—if your childhood wasn't this cool. Kazaam is Shaquille O’Neal’s genie extravaganza, blending hip-hop magic and nonsense.  How will Kazaam hold up? Host: Keiko Panel: Nic, Matthew, Alex   Directed by Paul Michael Glaser Starring: Shaquille O'Neal, Francis Capra, Ally Walker, James Acheson, and Mother Love

This week on Myopia Movies, we have a cameo appearance from the Pope! We watched Sister Act, the best musical numbers by a nun since Airplane!  How will Sister Act hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Nur, Alex   Directed by Emile Ardolino Starring: Whoopi Goldberg, Maggie Smith, Harvey Keitel, Bill Nunn, Mary Wickes, Kathy Najimy, Wendy Makkena