Out Of All Doors

 Everything's back to normal, for better or worse. Get ready for many more episodes exactly like they were before the accelerationism and the hyperaccelerationism.

 The final nail in the coffin. Or maybe the second-to-final. No editing whatsoever. That sound is my wall-unit air conditioner, or maybe my refrigerator. 

 Down, down, down, down, down, down, down, faster, faster, faster. Also, these are releasing early-ish in the month now, not crammed in right at the end.

 Either dead or dying, you decide. Also, I'm gonna start aiming to release these early in months, not late. Like, the 1st, 2nd, 3rd. Dates like these. You know the dates I mean. This doesn't have anything to do with the accelerationism.

 In decline, a shadow, wandering in the wilderness. Only an instinctive adherence to instinct can save us.

 The shortness I have long promised is really here this time, in preparation for the month with the shortest day: December. Carols for caroling, Listener becomes Contributor and yes, he's real. He IS real!

 In the intro, I say the episode is shorter than an hour but it's actually longer than an hour. There's a tale of terror from my real life. Atypical organization. We do not condone occult practices.

 It's short. They're short now. Get used to it. Listen, I explain in the episode. If you know of any contributors who have died, let me know.

 Shortness as a virtue. I postponed the Waders segment for at least another month, get off my back. A trap is sprung.

 This is a bonus Special Out of All Doors Eclipse Special. Do not click "play" expecting great, great length.

 The origins of names, a welcome review, surprising professionalism, road-trip essentials, skippings, Bonus: Guild Wars III: Rites of the Titans: "Every piece of legislation is battleworthy!"

June has the longest day and now also the shortest episode of Out of All Doors, I think. Cousin Ben and Dwayne push their luck. Greng will probably be dead soon. Priests buy lemonade. Batteries you can't conceive of.

Everything back in its proper place, many unhelpful emails spread across two segments, light-hearted talk of castration, Greng gets yelled at.

Am I supposed to write something here?

LC dictates much of the content, The Saint joins Bird Parliament, one true Scotsman, impersonator impersonations, Hobo Skool, a sad new low for a certain segment, Greng endangers us all.  

 Formatting purists are going to "give birth to a cow." Skip the Underappreciated Nature segment, it's a disaster. If you listen to Regarding the Dawn, you may be asked to testify in court on their behalf. Greng's Des Moines delusion breaks me down.

 Sometimes if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself, but then Greng calls in from "Mexico" to be a fly in the ointment. This is my second attempt at posting this. It didn't show up on iTunes the first time.

Don't let anyone limit your shepherds. A Campfire of...something surprising! Dickensian again but give it a chance! People you'd meet on the taiga if you didn't die first (you would).

 Our bold war on inanity begins here, mostly in the intro. The Gentlemen encourage dark consumerism. An aged art teacher wants to believe he's made a difference but hasn't. Casey and Jason search in vain for a reality that suits them.

 Welcome to Watch Your Step, the future home of allllllll of my Lofty Longings fan fiction! This is just an introduction to Lofty Longings to help the ignorant among you catch up on the source material.