Zen Parenting Radio

We talk with Kaley & Nate Klemp, authors of The 80/80 Marriage: A New Model for a Happier, Stronger Relationship. We discuss invisible labor, fairness, compassion, and what to do if one partner is reluctant to make a change.

Todd and Cathy discuss prioritizing mental and emotional well-being above all other things. School, sports, and other issues can still be expectations, but during this time of elevated teen anxiety and depression, we can focus on the most important thing which is their emotional health. They also discuss Lady Gaga and Liza Minnelli’s Oscar moment, and Cathy’s Zen Mother’s Day Event, A Virtual and Free Discussion, on Friday, May 6 and the the MenLiving Special Guest Event featuring Kim Redding discussing infidelity and shame.

Cathy and Todd discuss the cyclical nature of abuse and how to recognize red flags and help our kids recognize them, too. They discuss Evan Rachel Wood’s documentary, Phoenix Rising about her history with Marilyn Manson, and how other documentaries and even personal stories have similar patterns and experiences. They discuss how to notice and create a conversation around grooming, love bombing, gaslighting, and isolation so we can help our kids develop healthy boundaries and recognize when they are being manipulated.

Cathy and Todd discuss the cyclical nature of abuse and how to recognize red flags and help our kids recognize them, too. They discuss Evan Rachel Wood’s documentary, Phoenix Rising about her history with Marilyn Manson, and how other documentaries and even personal stories have similar patterns and experiences. They discuss how to notice and create a conversation around grooming, love bombing, gaslighting, and isolation so we can help our kids develop healthy boundaries and recognize when they are being manipulated.

Todd and Cathy discuss why it’s necessary to regroup (especially when we are hit with bad news most days) and how regrouping is just like the tide going in and out – sometimes we go all in, and then we recede – repeat. They discuss how to practice devotion, the work of Gabor Matè, and taking a wider view when it comes to Ukraine, “Don’t Say Gay”, and other challenging events.

Todd and Cathy discuss the lessons from the longest study about happiness from the Harvard Study on Adult Development. They discuss Steven Pinker’s data about the world getting better, and what Bill Gates and Warren Buffet both recommend for a happy life.

Todd and Cathy discuss managing so many difficult things at one, and how the grief process is a way to understand and manage pain. They discuss Ukraine, Dopesick and Michael Keaton’s acceptance speech, and the everyday experiences in our homes, lives, and abroad that force us to wake up to what’s important.

Cathy and Todd discuss how Zen Parenting Radio started and play a clip or two from their first podcast (11 years ago!). They discuss what they’ve learned, their most humbling experiences, and then share the prologue from Cathy’s audiobook (also titled Where It All Began).

Todd and Cathy discuss how to approach our children when they are struggling – do we give them space, keep showing up, or both? They discuss the importance of paying attention to our inner workings so we can role model what this looks like for our kids, and they offer guidance on how to develop our emotional literacy so we can pay closer attention to how we feel.

Todd and Cathy discuss conversational dynamics and how we can pay better attention when talking to our kids or partner. They also share why human behavior is similar to financial markets, and why bands have so many farewell tours.

Todd and Cathy discuss chapter 5 "The Right to Speak and Hear Truth" of Cathy's new book : Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and our Children in an Unpredictable world.  Topics covered: self expression, the art of communication, words are things, heard and understood, learning differences

Todd and Cathy discuss chapter 4 "The Right to Love and Be Loved" of Cathy's new book : Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and our Children in an Unpredictable world.  Topics covered: Open heartedness, empathy, self-compassion, breathing, grief

Todd and Cathy discuss chapter 3 "The Right To Act" of Cathy's new book : Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and our Children in an Unpredictable world.  Topics covered: Autonomy and the hero’s journey, Individuation, Self-care, Energy, True and false self

Todd and Cathy discuss chapter 2 "The Right to Feel" of Cathy's new book: Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and our Children in an Unpredictable world.  Topics covered: Pleasure, emotional intelligence, creativity and play, and sexuality.

Todd and Cathy discuss chapter 1 "The Right to Be" Topics include: Body foundation, root to rise, physical and emotional safety, survival and connection, and reestablishing our roots.

Cathy and Todd take a deep dive into Thich Nhat Hanh quotes (the Zen Buddhist monk/teacher who died last week at 95), and also discuss human archetypes and why we show up the way we do. They also discuss the importance of children’s individuation and why female monkeys are ready to lead their barrel.

Todd and Cathy discuss some quotes from Adam Grant, Author of Think Again, and why rethinking our beliefs leads to a wider perspective and a more compassionate viewpoint. They also discuss why allowing our kids to have different beliefs and perspectives allows them to “individuate” or find their own sense of self.

Todd and Cathy discuss how we ask our kids to be responsible for themselves, but we also encourage them to ask for help. They process how to help our kids discern between the two requests, and how we can be more clear about our expectations. They also share some clips from the upcoming Zen Parenting Summit and how mindfulness and meditation are related.

Cathy and Todd offer the case for optimism (but don’t worry, it’s not toxic positivity…). They share some actual good news and why we are stronger and more resilient than we think.

Cathy and Todd discuss the road to wellness and why shame, judgment, anxiety, and hope all play a role. They also discuss why asking for help is so essential, and why asking for help is an act of bravery and strength. They discuss what it means to be a strength-based parent and play a clip from Lea Waters, author of The Strength Switch. Todd plays a clip from the TED Talk podcast about how people with less money actually give more to those in need, and how exposure and empathy are the keys to greater giving.