Ross O'carroll-kelly @ The Irish Times

A dickhead of a smoke alorm ruins Ross’s night and leads him to a surprising discovery... See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Ro learns how to handle found goods, from the master, Hennessy See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The old man got more than he bargained for when he bought a Lambo at a Cab auction See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

I have to remember to treat them all equally, even though one of them is clearly never going to play Leinster Schools Senior Cup rugby due to being basically half-blind. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

My daughter had previously told me that being seen to care is a sign of weakness See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

‘Do you know how embarrassing it is to live in Killiney and have to drive stick shift?’ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

I end up carrying Leo in to the ophthamologist. I don’t know why – there’s fock-all wrong with his legs. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

She walks into the kitchen and storts looking at Leo in a suddenly strange way See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

‘Your accent has gone full Colin Farrell from Intermission since we passed the turn-off for Newtownmountkennedy’ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Rosston College has an eventful first day with the triplets out of Montessori. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

It wouldn’t be an uncommon occurrence for me and Sorcha to find ourselves in a school principal’s office having to apologise for the behaviour of our children. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Honor is at a birthday party – what usually follows is a solicitor’s letter See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sorcha's old pair are making arrangements for her resting place - but Honor has different ideas. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Ronan is about to finish college and the old man has a bribe to bring him onside. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sorcha is crying in the cor. “How could something like this have happened?” she keeps going – over and over again. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sorcha is on the warpath after the latest phone call from the Montessori about the triplets See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Most of our goys look like they’ve been pulled from the sea after their ship went down. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Ross O’Carroll Kelly: ‘Inevitably, given the pressure I’m putting my mind and body under - I end up blacking out’ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Unfortunately, I don’t have Fr Fehily’s command of German or his record collection. But I do have my own – let’s just say – motivational qualities? See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Preparation for our grudge match with Newbridge isn’t going to plan. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.