Hatewatch With Us: A Variety Show For Sarcastic People

It's one of the biggest Hatewatch Holidays of the year! Get you a guy who can do just one, because it's Chris Columbus Day! Join Kirstie, Kelsey and her bread starter in celebrating the second most douchiest Chris Columbus we know by covering two of his cinematic masterpeices, Harry Potter and Home Alone. We've got debates such as whether or not Susan Bones had a speaking role, fucking flutes, naive newborn babies on all sides, two of the Three G's of the DanRad School of Acting, and a receptionist named Dambledoor. Mark your calendars for next year! We are members of the Thought Bubble Audio Network. Find us at: www.thoughtbubbleaudio.com @thoughtbubblefm www.hatewatchwithus.com @hatewatchwitus

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away......Episode 1, Make Kirstie Watch A Star War. It is a time of cultural awakening. Kirstie admits that she has never seen A Star War, and Kelsey must guide her through the Original Trilogy. Danger lurks in the stars above in the form of fennel, poorly thought-out government infrastructure, questionable bronzer, and trash compactors. While the Congress of Hatewatch endlessly debates the alarming turn of events during the Trivia portion, listeners are reveling in Kirstie's naivety. Little do listeners know, the Galactic Hatewatch Empire has secretly begun construction on parts two and three of this ongoing series, each episode more powerful in the Meaning of Hatewatch than the last. We're members of the Thought Bubble Audio Network. Find us at: www.thoughtbubbleaudio.com @thoughtbubblefm www.hatewatchwithus.com @hatewatchwithus

This week is apparently all about short British men. First, we maybe get a little too close to rules 34 and 36 of the internet with Rupert Grint's most famous cinematic masterpeice, Thunderpants. We watched a two hour fart joke so we could spend a half hour using fart jokes to make fun of people who think fart jokes are funny. Really, we were just jealous we didn't fart ourselves into space. Kelsey then takes some safari style polaroids, and we transition into talking about The Wine Show. Find out who our favorite Wine Matthew's are, learn more about wine gadgets, hear our desperate plea for wine recomendations, and add this to your list of Li'l Hygge Approved Television. We are members of the Thought Bubble Audio Network. Find us at: www.thoughtbubbleaudio.com @thoughtbubblefm www.hatewatchwithus.com @hatewatchwitus

LOOK INTO MY EYES. I WANT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. We are in the same place at the same time for the same reason! That's right, Kirstie and Kelsey finally got the opportunity to record in the same room and it went......about as well as you'd expect. For our A Segment we try lots of things so you don't have to, namely Facebook Watch but also, Maple Bacon Potato Chips. For our B segment, we decided the time had come to watch two formative texts from Kirstie and Kelsey's lives. We discuss That Thing You Do and Adventureland, and learn a lot about each other, turtlenecks, Kristin Stewart, drummers, summer jobs, the 80s, and accidental sexual awakening. We are members of the Thought Bubble Audio Network. Find us at: www.thoughtbubbleaudio.com @thoughtbubblefm www.hatewatchwithus.com @hatewatchwitus

The 2017 Emmy Awards happened and guess who got to watch the live broadcast: WE DID! Listen to our post-award show coverage to find out who got ready to Sexy Getting Ready Song, hear all of our Gripes, Hatewatch Our Joy, and be there for the creation of our very own future award show, The Really Fucking Good Television Awards (For Nice People Only). It was one night in Television History you won't want to forget, and now you won't have to because you can Hatewatch With Us (see what we did there?). We are members of the Thought Bubble Audio Network. Find us at: www.thoughtbubbleaudio.com @thoughtbubblefm www.hatewatchwithus.com @hatewatchwitus

This week we literally had to fight off a curse which included coffee spills, jacked up audio, and a mid-recording spider ambush in order to bring you this glorious content. We've got our Fall Tv Preview, complete with the return of everyone's favorite game segment, What Fresh Hell is This???? We talk about the Military Industrial Television Complex, Young Sheldon, Super Magicians turned FBI Agents, single cam sitcoms, Reboots, and so much more. Spoiler alert, we're not happy about any of it. Then for our B segment, it's time for a Hatewatch Holiday: Qwikster Day. Announced on Sept 18th, 2011, Netflix made a life choice that they regretted and rectified by October 10th, 2011. Kelsey has had this day marked on her google calendar ever since. We chose to commemorate this mistake by watching the new Netflix Original: The Adventures of Bobby Draper. Sorry, I meant White Gold. We've got grown men peeing their pants and other stuff that helps us keep our explicit rating. Spoiler alert: We don't hate it as much as w

We’re kicking things off this week with an exciting podcast update – you’re listening to the newest members of the Thought Bubble Audio network! Get super hype because we’ll tell you all about it. Then, it’s the same shit, different House Hunters, as we go head over lighthouses for the Canadian hit show “What’s For Sale? With A View.” Once we’ve had enough rose hip jelly for one hatewatch, we get nostalgic about our favorite simulator games from the early 2000’s, tackling the burning questions like ‘is Zoo Tycoon trashy or classy?’ Whether your Sims house had a View or a hellcloset, we’ve got you covered on this week’s episode. We're members of the Thought Bubble Audio Network. Find us at: www.thoughtbubbleaudio.com @thoughtbubblefm www.hatewatchwithus.com @hatewatchwithus

Burn Out Month continues as y'all work through Kirstie and Kelsey's pre-vacation recording backlog. We promise, we're back in full force next week. In an attempt to enjoy a pure Hatewatch, Kirstie and Kelsey try watching the Disney Channel Original Movies Cadet Kelly and Cowbelles. It goes exactly as well as you might expect, and we end up in a long wandering conversation trying to understand the True Meaning of Hatewatch. Then, we get in to all of the lies Pinterest tells us, from weddings to hand lettered pillows to watery one-pot recipes. It's an episode of Our Heros Have Failed Us, except with whatever Disney Channel and Pinterest are (because they're certainly not heros.) We're members of the Thought Bubble Audio Network. Find us at: www.thoughtbubbleaudio.com @thoughtbubblefm www.hatewatchwithus.com @hatewatchwithus

We've had a lot of fun this season, from our discount liquor store wine to our discount liquor store plot. This Sunday, we're starting with the Li'l Finger News Bulletin. We include an important update on the Game of Thrones Fantasy League, have as many gripes as we found Dick Jokes, recap some sexy times and gues who will end up being Classroom Mom in Westeros. What's in store for next season? Who tf knows because next season won't air until 2017823098. Stay tuned though, because when the time comes for us all to come back to the same place at the same time, we will be ready to be here for the same purpose. Keep hashtagging #hatewatchgot in the meantime!

Sometimes we're in a Chick-Fil-A in Nashua and we're like.....what's something we can talk about that we already do? So, we present to you our post-sweeps clipshow equivilant. First, we're talking about our favorite podcasts and SPOILER ALERT, we spend 25% of the segment just professing our love for Appointment Television (our OTP, One True Podcast and yeah guys, we did the math to the minute). We reassert our status as the Fourth Olsen Twin, Kirstie drops her superball, we learn about Kelsey's commuting habits and it's just a giant love fest. Then, we revisit last week's discussion about Formative Media with the media of our adolescent years. We've got tons of personal stories, a brief moment of excitement about Rocket Power, and many of the roots of our nerdery at any age.

We start this episode in Westeros Middle School and end this episode in a lizard uterus because all things in this show come full circle except for plot. It's the second to last episode of season 7 and it's tough to be 13 years old and running a kingdom during a zombie apocalypse. We've got all the hot gossip like Tyrion passing notes to Jon for Dany, Tormund trying to get Brienne to go to the dance with him, Li'l Finger stoking the fear of his li'l finger, and Westeros finally got a mall for everyone to hang out in! Also, Arya totally made it personal when she offended our knitting, so girl can take her silicon faces and shove them right up her Fossil briefcase. Good news though! The dick jokes are back, Kelsey is still looking for the RomCom and we have some quick updates on the fantasy teams. Join us next week for the FINAL EPISODE of the season and as always, live tweet with #hatewatchgot

We're all here at the same time for the same purpose (aka, back from vacation), and we're so DICKON for the next episode of Game of Thrones that we decided it was time for some spicy hot surprise bonus content. We're binding off episodes 4 and 5 of Game of Thrones to cleanse ourselves in preparation for episode 6. We've got DICKon jokes, grammar jokes, gripes up the wazu, feelings about Inside the Episode, more Harry Potter crossovers, predictions, and a new boyband. Join us for live tweeting the episode using #hatewatchGOT.

Whether or not anyone asked for it, Facebook is trying to be the rom com career woman of television and we’ve got some spicy hot content predictions coming at ya this week. From lonelygirl15 spinoffs to meta livestreaming to workplace comedies about Facebook for Work, the opportunities for Facebook Watch are endless with our buddy Zuck at the wheel. Then in part one of a two-part discussion, we take a look back at the formative media in our lives. While Kirstie gets hype about developmental psychology and media theories, we find out neat Hatewatch trivia like Kelsey’s consistent thirst for her childhood crush, Kirstie vs. Matt Damon circa 2002, and our collective Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing experiences. Also we brag about spending time together in person, which is exactly as compelling as it sounds.

If you're here for a hatewatch, we're offering ourselves up as tributes this week. You get to Hatewatch Kelsey's Joy and Hatewatch Kirstie's Feels in this double header as Kelsey BYOBs the new romantic comedy The Big Sick and we FINALLY get to discuss Jane the Virgin in all its glory (including season 3 spoilers, you've been warned). TL:DR, we really like these things and we just really really want you to like them too. In return, we give you gifts such as Kelsey reenacting movies, a primer of Kirstie's complicated relationship with Ray Romano, digs at House of Cards, Game of Thrones, Confederate and the RomCom badlands, and Kirstie getting lost in time and space. Find us on Twitter, because if the episode run time doesn't make it clear, we really want to talk to you about these stories more.

So the Emmy nominations dropped and our feelings can best be summed up as.....meh??? We debrief our feelings about This Is Us, the number of repeat nominations, air our grievances about the VICIOUS SNUBS, and have nothing to say about several categories. Then, we take a field trip to the motherland and hate watch the Hallmark original movie. Moonlight in Vermont. You're going to learn a lot about syrup grading, maple trees, Montpelier, locally sourced ingredients, and New York real estate agents. Much like the oyster-mushroom-Meet-Cute, this segment is the beginning of something beautiful and unexpected, as Kelsey and Kirstie begin to fall deeply in love with Hallmark Original Movies.

It's Sunday so of course we're checking in on Game of Thrones. The season 6 writers are back with Choose-Your-Own-Adventure dick and grammar jokes, Kelsey Has A Gripe, Li'l Finger and his Li'l Finger pew pew pew their way through the Li'l Finger News Bulletin, Cersai scored at Mac on Free Lipstick Day, we have our first point in our Fantasy Draft, and Policy Wonks win the episode in both Dragonstone and Winterfell. Cross over universes this week included the Grand Designs tour of Dany's Bespoke Dragonstone Throne, Bran Potter and the Goblet of Winterfell, House of (Ice and Fire) Cards, and The Office. Sorry, there were no funny puns for that one. We also jumped aboard the #noconfederate bandwagon. We're off the next two weeks for vacation, but join us again for Episode 6 later in August! Regular episodes will continue on Tuesdays.

We are overcome with friendship this week as we FINALLY discuss a topic near and dear to our hearts: Television Friendships. We cover some greatest hits like Anne and Leslie and partners who are cops (cops who are partners?), Kelsey does a Teddy impression, we wax poetic about tv friendships as instructional texts, Kelsey gets a dig in at Kirstie's cat and Kirstie gets a final dig in at Downward Dog. All of this then got us thinking about what happens when people disagree about television. What do we do when people watch bad television, people are wrong about television, people don't like our input on television, television becomes a proxy for these, our modern times or people are too attached to Game of Thrones? Honestly, we aren't actually sure. Join us for a long and wandering journey through our feelings, insecurity, and soul searching in an attempt to avoid crushing the spirits of other TV watchers. There's no right or wrong way to tell this story, except this is maybe wrong.

We're back at it with episode two of season who the fuck knows! This week we got grammar lessons as plot devices, Dany and Tyrion gave us a Grand Designs cross over, Arya and Hot Pie gave us a Great British Bake Off cross over, we were treated to Varys Story Time, Arya met a Hyppogriff, The Greyjoys bought some fireworks at a New Hampshire liquor store and brought them on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, Theon recreated THAT scene from the Titanic, Sam is brewing polyjuice potion to cure Sir Friendzone's gonorrhea, and Jon looks like a bowl of vanilla ice cream. It's a high stakes game of sibling rivalries, stray pets, and alternative cross-over universes, complete with grammar lessons, dick-less jokes, and food that looks like STDs. Oh, and the Li'l Finger News Bulletin is coming in hot, perhaps foreshadowing the outcome of our Fantasy League, so get ready to place your bets on the House Snark's JV team!

Y'all gotta get as hype as Kelsey for this episode because the final verdict on season one of Downward Dog was released recently and it's time to put this show to bed. We talk about the last couple of episodes of the season and all the reasons your dog can't be you boyfriend, even if he is narrating your millennial life. Then we take everything we've learned from Downward Dog to discuss narrators: ones we like, important ones, literary devices, and the best Mad Men AU ever written. Dear listeners, please feel free to jump on that opportunity and send us the Peggy/Joan/Carrie Bradshaw narrator fan fiction of our dreams.

Winter has come for House Hatewatch. We rejoined our forlorn ensemble cast and our lost and lonely writers for yet another season of Game of Thrones. Though to be honest, we might have been watching Harry Potter. We weren't sure. We've got our Official Dick Joke Count, the Airing of Grievances, the Li'l Finger News Bulletin, and an introduction to our fantasy teams - House Snark and Valar Prestigious. Tune in every Sunday night for our 15 minute recaps and updates, and feel free to live tweet along with us using the hashtag #hatewatchGOT.